Toddler Sleep Issues After Car Accident.

Well, I didn't read what everyone else wrote, but let me share a little something with you.
When my son was a newborn we were in a horrible car accident. We, unfortunately, got very injured and spent 2 months at children's hospital and I spent a couple of weeks at the hospital as well.
I didn't sleep well for almost a year. I didn't drive for a year. I was up all hours of the night checking my son, making sure he was breathing, just reassuring myself. I can understand that at 2 1/2 he also wants to reassure himself. I would almost say maybe bringing him back to your bed for a couple of weeks may help hiim to feel more safe.
Imagine how loud the accident was (especially if it totaled your car!) was there glass breaking? door crunching? people yelling (I am told that I screamed for almost an hour straight, I don't know, I remember nothing) Did airbags explode? Stranger ran to help you? All of these things are quite tramatic for such a little one.
It doesn't sound like limit testing to me, it sounds like he is feeling unsettled. Let him cuddle up to you for a couple of weeks, then transfer him back over.
L.

I feel this is a fear thing too and could be he doesn't understand what he's fearing but just THAT he's afraid. I would put the rails up for now, if that makes him feel safer and since he's asking--there is no shame in him having them up there.

Also, although he was safe in the car accident, you might look at taking him to a chiropractor. Could be something's just a little off kilter and an adjustment would help him a lot. My sister-in-law started taking her daughters to a chiropractor as newborns.

I have a 12yo son with Aspergers Syndrome and there is still times that he sleeps on the floor next to my bed if he's afraid. I don't have a problem with this as an aspies reasoning skills are quite different than the rest of us. Your sons reasons for wanting you there, wanting to touch you or have his rails back on may not seem reasonable to 'the rest of us' but they are for him and as far as I'm concerned, that's good enough.

Best of luck to you all.

I wonder if he's having bad dreams about the wreck? To him it may seem like the wreck is happening again while he's sleeping, and so he wants you close so that he will feel safe.

I think I would either let him sleep in your bed with you, or if possible see if he will let you make your own bed in the floor beside his. Give him a couple weeks & see if he will transition back to sleeping on his own.

If your little guy needs you more because of the wreck then I would co-sleep with him again for a few months. Little guys take a long time to process how he can be safe and for him it is to have you near him then do it.
In 2003 I was in an accident that totaled our van I had a 1yr old.2 1/2 and 4yr old they all end up in my bed for about a month then the 4 yr said she would rather sleep in her own bed and 2 1/2yr old stayed another 3 months but that was what he needed and it really is only short time in our parenting life that we can take care of everything for them.Good LUck
J. O

Since you are not opposed to co-sleeping, I think I'd let him sleep snuggled up to you for a little while until he feels safe again, and the newness of the ordeal has passed. I know this could possibly set him up for some trouble moving back to his own bed eventually, but for me, I'd just want to do whatever I could to give him the comfort and sleep he needs right now, and hopefully, that would help you get some sleep too. He's traumatized. But kids are also resilient. I'd give him a little time to process everything with all your reassurances, and maybe a little extra closeness to you right now. And hopefully this will pass soon.

I'm glad you are okay - what a traumatic experience! I'm so glad you're there for your son.

I was rear-ended taking my daughter to the first day of kindergarten. We weren't hurt, but it took a couple of scary weeks for her to realize that we weren't going to get in an accident every day. My heart broke for her, too. She had not slept with us for years, but she did come into our room for a few nights.

Later, our smoke alarm woke us in the middle of the night to a house filled with smoke. I couldn't find her, because she was hiding under the bed to try and get away from the sound of the alarm. All was okay - but it took us awhile to get things back to normal then, too. I just wanted to keep my babies close. It was around the time of 9/11, and everything felt "unsettled", to say the least.

So if it were me, I'd indulge his wanting to be close for however long seems okay to you. I'm pretty sure "professionals" would tell you the same thing. Every family is different, but he's a little guy who just had a really scary experience. It's scary for us as adults - I can't imagine how our children feel. Right now, everything seems kind of crisis-related, but that will pass, and things will get back to normal. If it doesn't, then it's time to consult your pediatrician (I assume you already have?) again and maybe see about play therapy or something.

I hope all goes well - I'll be thinking of you and your family. Please give my hugs to the little guy. :-)

P.S. My son always had to be touching my skin, well into his toddler years, and, no car accident there.

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This is a tough one beacuse you seem to be doing the very things I would sugegst (the reassuring and stuff). Have you talked to his Dr about it? I think with something like this that is what I would reccomend, they might have some great advice about whats going on in his head and how to help him copw with his fears. Wish I could be more help, sorry.

Yea, this is tricky because of the accident for sure. My first response is this...it could have more to do with his big boy bed than the accident. My daughter transitioned to her bed like a champ...and then it was hell. It took about a week and I was feeling really good b/c there were NO problems at all during that first week or so with staying in bed, etc. Then one night she figured it out and it all went downhill. So, it could just be a cooincidence that these two events are happening at the same time. BUT...that leads me to response 2...maybe not. Aren't I helpful?! ;)

Since he's asking all those questions about the car and being safe, maybe it is because of that. Did he bring those up on his own or did you prompt him the first few nights after the accident by saying, it's okay, you're safe here, etc.? Not that that was wrong, but sometimes with kids that age we can put ideas into their head that we think are there and maybe they're not. In the end, you have to go with your feeling on it. If you feel that this is because of the accident, I would throw out what you would normally do and just try and make it work, let him sleep with you, lay with him, whatever.

I would say though, that after about another week or two, you need to get back to a normal bedtime routine. In two weeks, it will seem like a lifetime to a 2 year old, so I would think that is enough time to get him through his feelings of fear. I probably would talk to my pediatrician too, if you think it's fear from the accident, they would probably have some good advice or resources too.

Hang in there!

I wanted to recommend EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It is a tapping technique that taps on acupressure points.

There is a free manual at www.emofree.com and you can get a free cheatsheet at www.tapping.com . This website also has a free manual - http://www.schoolmademucheasier.com/ . Here are some more basic instructions - http://www.thrivingnow.com/for/Health/basic-eft/ and a diagram - http://www.thrivingnow.com/for/Health/eft-tapping-points/ . It is very easy to learn and use on children.

Here is a bedtime routine that you can do:

http://www.eftdownunder.com/children.html#Must

Here is a case where a teenager resolved his fears:

http://www.eftisland.com/html/fear_relief.html

If you google for - eft for fear relief - hopefully you will find more. Or search the www.emofree.com website for articles on children.

Good luck!

I can't believe you are pushing your kid away and forcing him to sleep in his own bed? I am totally crying over here for your son. DO you love your child? Do you not understand how frightening hte world is to him in general, let alone after this accident where he verbally expressed his FEARS??? After noticing this change immediately after the accident you don't want to believe that it had affected him so badly??? I am sorry but I am just so sick of you "modern" parents who try to force your children away from you to have some sick independence and sleep alone as babies in their own rooms... I am SHOCKED and I am so dissapointed at you as a human being as a mother as a nurturer.