Toddler Not Wanting to Wear Clothes

T., this sounds like a sensory issue to me, is it something in particular that seems to bother her? The tag, a particular fabric? My niece is autistic and she will only wear sweat shirt material/ cotton...soft fabric. I know it is frustrating. I hope you can find something that works...wish I had more advice. I would try and be patient and not punish her though, this is a real issue for her even if it is something we can't understand.
B.

I agree that is sounds like a sensory issue. Sounds crazy but turn her panties inside out, so the seams are on the outside. Try sweatpants with covered or soft seams so they don't cut into her. Or maybe just tights and a simple skirt. Definately start with the panties, make sure they are cotton.

Move to dresses w/ knee high socks (for going out) and wearing daddy's oversized T-shirts for around the house...otherwise let her run around naked...when she gets cold, she'll succumb to clothes...laws of nature and all.

What panties are you using on her? I know some brands do tend to ride up more than others...I've heard a lot of mom's swear by the Children's Place brand for not riding up...and yes, I would buy them larger so they aren't so constricting.

I'd stay away from pants all together with the exception for those days she wants to go romp in the snow. Bottom line here is you put the ball in her court and she threw it back to you...so don't let her be in control anymore. She wears what you put out or you start taking away priviledges (no TV, no playdates, no toys, etc.). She's pushing your buttons and winning here, mom. It's time you take a stand and put your foot down. Good luck.

Dresses dresses dresses....My 3 year old lives in dresses. She has probably 20 dresses or more that I picked up cheap at yard sales. She will wear Jeans out in public if i tell her she has no choice, but as soon as we are home she wants a dress on.

Otherwise, don't feed her naked, make her be clothed. Don't give into her. If she wants to do something and has no clothes on, make her be dressed first. You are the mom. I knew someone who complained that their little boy who was three never stayed dressed. He walked up to mommy while she was talking about this and asked for food. She proceeded to talk about the problem while handing his naked little body food. I guarantee if she had told him no food til he had clothes on he would have gotten dressed.

Be consistent and stick to your guns.

It could also be a reaction to detergent or fabric softener that is causing her discomfort.

I agree with all of the wonderful advice that the other Mamas have given you...but I would add a couple of things. First of all, the next time you go in for an appt with her pediatrician, be sure that you mention this to him ( I would do it outside of the childs hearing ) and let him/her examine her to make sure there isn't a problem with a yeast infection or some anamoly that would make panties uncomfortable for her. My other suggestion would be try and remain as non-confrontational and calm as you can about this. Don't make it a major issue...or she will dig her little heels in and make everyone miserable. Just matter of factly tell her...sorry honey no clothes, no food...no clothes, no tv....what ever she is requesting at the moment and then go on with your business.
Good luck!!!
R. Ann

My son will not wear underwear because he says it bothers him. We found out he has a sensory integration disorder.His brain can't properly process his senses. That's why his underwear bothers him because it is oversensitizing to him. It feels like sand paper to him. He is also a very picky eater and sensitive to many smells. I am not sure if this is the case with your daughter but it sounds a lot like my son.

LOL! hi T.. BELIEVE me. This is normal. My 3 yr old daughter prefers to run around in her underwear all day and I can barely keep those on her. She says she's hot. It could be 50 in the house and she still wants to run around naked. Sometimes it's easier to just let them do it for a while (with underwear of course) or tell her she can for an hour but then she'll have to get dressed. If mine argues, then I ask her to stay in her room until she puts her clothes back on. I think all toddlers go through this so I wouldnt' worry too much about it.

try removing all her clothes from her room. don't let her have them. except one outfit a day. let her know that this is the only clothes she gets. maybe she will appreciate it. it is also taking away the choice. some children like structure.
good luck

My almost 3 year old did this alot also and still does from time to time I figured if they are cold they will tell you it's not worth the hastle of telling them over and over to keep their clothes on.

HI T. - this is pretty normal and she'll grow out of it. My daughter did the samething at about 2 1/2 or 3. I let her run the house naked, but would make her leave panties on, I told her I didn't want her naked butt on my couch. So as soon as we got to our house or my Grandma's she would strip. She still sleeps half naked (she's 6). My oldest daughter also had a thing with the panties and would wear them 2 sizes to big. She said she didn't like them touching her butt - Huh?! that was a new one on me. Just explain to her that the only place that she can be naked is at home and if anyone is at the house then she needs to keep her clothes on. But she'll out grow it. During this time with my younger daughter if she was dressed there was only one pair of pants and one shirt she would wear. I washed it everyday. She once went 13 straight days wearing it. I had her picture made it in and I still have the outfit (shirt is waaaayyyy faded and the pants have great big holes in the knees). Don't make to big of a deal about her being naked, set some rules of when and where she can be naked and she'll out grow it. And in a few years you are going to laugh about this till you cry - we do!!

while you do not want to create any taboo/feelings about her nudity.....you also need to remain in charge. The battles are only going to get harder as she gets older. What about trying dresses or your tshirts?

& to be quite honest, how does this fit in with your daycare? Does she wear clothes there? Or are they in charge as they should be??? The whole trick is to simply NOT give in...& I'd be interested in knowing where this behavior began & when the marital issues also began. Is there a tie-in? Is this simply a wish for attention or a physical need? I wish you Peace.

Dear T., it sounds like she may have a yeast or kidney infection, or worst of all been sexually abused somehow. I think the best advice would be to see your family physician, and watch all your child comes in contact with, and ask her questions. I only say this because so many little girls and boys these days are being touched inappropriately and I was one of them years ago. God Bless you, I pray you get to the bottom of this, B.

Hi I can relate to your problem, I also have a three year old son who is so irritated by his clothes he would prefer to miss out on parties, friends and snow. He is a very social smilely guy but this seems to be a real problem. My sitter takes him to school in his PJ's and changes him there. After swimming she takes him home in a towel if the weather allows. The funny part is I am not only a behavior specialist but an autism specialist. I worked at Johns Hopkins Hospital/Kennedy Krieger Institiute. I deal with this everyday at work but when it is your own sometimes it is a bit more difficult to fix the problem. I know what to do from a behavior and sensory prospective but which do I try first pushing the issue and upsetting my son by standing my ground and forcing him to withstand what may be torture for him or spend $500 for an OT eval. I myself am diagnosed OCD since a kid so I know what it feels like to be tortured by a parent who thinks you are just being bad and demands you act normal. I've decided to try both routes and see where I get results. I guess my best advice is to let her know you understand and sometimes our brains make us think we feel something that may be silly. I think what they feel is real to them and we must recognize that! From a clinical prospective many kids have sensory overload or not enough input that causes them to feel this way. AT the age of three they are just learning to be able to process sensory input and sometimes it doesn't always occur the way it should resulting in tactile defensiveness or a deficit in prophrioceptive response. Think to yourself when dressing her is it that important for her to wear underpants, socks ect.... pick your battles in the meantime until you can get some help. I feel your pain I am there with you and just starting my battle. See if you can get testing through your local school.....I know in MD we have "Headstart" so I may try that first. If is a sensory probem please know it can get alot worse if you do not deal with it! Trust your instincts and know that it may not be behavior so do not let people tell you she is pulling a fast one on you she may truely need help from and Occupational Therapist.