My Daughter Won't Keep Her Clothes On!! Help!!

I have the same problem with my son, who is also 3. My older child, a daughter never went through this but my son has been for the past 6 weeks or so. I decided that if he didn't want to wear clothes at home than that was fine but underwear was essential. No nudies in this house! Then he only has to wear clothes if he wants to go outside or with me anywhere. But, inside the house he has free reign UNLESS we have company. After setting some boundaries we are having less battles and he is asking to wear clothing more since it is getting chillier. I had to decide whether this was a big enough battle to fight over and decided that the potty training was a better choice than the lack of clothing. Just set some ground rules for when she can be without clothing and then enforce the rest of the time. My son won't wear pjs either so it goes with the territory. Good Luck!!

Why don't you take most of the fun things out of her room then later tell her that she doesn't have to wear clothes at all - but if she doesn't have them on she has to stay in her room. She's not in trouble, but the dr said that she is too big to be running around the house without clothes on - that is just for in her room. No more drama from you, no more fighting about it b/c she may have decided to fight you on this for the "fun" of it (for her anyway!). Hopefully, she'll get bored in her room and come out wearing clothes.

All three of my kids went through this, my youngest is 5 and she just streaked by me as I write this. My oldest is 17 and she would strip at the blink of an eye and she outgrew it with no lasting "issues". My son would strip naked and ride his little Indian motorcycle around my living room. He is now 8 and is actually going through the shy stage now! Kids go through these stages and if we reprimand them like there is something wrong with their bodies they grow up with issues. My friends kids went through it but she took a stance similar to yours. She even made the rule that if her kids werent dressed they couldnt be out of their bedrooms. Now all of her kids are older and have serious body image problems. Im not suggesting letting her streak through the neighborhood naked, but if she is in her home and in panties what is she harming? Sleeping in panties....what is the real harm if she is comfortable and able to sleep? Is it worth the battle? Your husbands suggestion of dressing her and letting her scream....is he a stay at home dad who will have to listen to her distress? If you are staying at home what is the real problem here? I am thinking once cold weather hits (and I know how Ohio winters are brrrr) she wont want to be undressed as often if at all. I guess the best way to think about it is its just a stage she is going through and one day you will sit and laugh and say remember when you refused to wear clothes? Her response will be with a roll of her eyes "MOM!!!" Just enjoy her free will. She will outgrow it with the strict rules or not and what it will boil down too is it really worth her tears?

I admit, I'm not much of a lady, but I'll toss my two pesos.

She's right, it is more comfortable without clothes, and in her own home, absent visitors, there is no reason she needs to be dressed. If this bothers you and your husband, avert your eyes.

Both of you are unreasonably fastidious about her being clothed. She can't even sleep in the altogether! It's no wonder that she rebels against your unreasonable insistence, and even bullying. I would, too. This is modesty driven to a mad extreme.

She needs clothes on when she is away from home. She's already developed a modicum of modesty as she wears underpants even at home, and that is sufficient.

This is a battle, a rebellion, of your own making. The small skirmish you and your husband started has become a war. It is time to negotiate a peace treaty -- consisting mostly of your allowing her freedom of choice.

For a time you will probably continue to have a battle over dressing when she leaves home, but this will pass quickly if you are more reasonable about what she wears, or doesn't wear, at home. Don't keep making it AN ISSUE.

It could not be more normal for a child to want to be unclothed, or barely clothed, and comfortable. What you should be teaching her is that, within reason, she is the master of her fate and the owner of her body. And her preference is well within reason. She's a great deal more savvy than you credit her for. She knows that everyone wears clothes in public, and that the problem with what she wears at home is of her parents' making, not her own.

It is much better to cultivate a relationship of tolerance and cooperation than of dominance and either submission or rebellion. You don't want her to define her clothing tastes in terms of what gets under the skin of Mom and Dad, or what you experience at age three will be played out much more ferociously, and scandalously, at ages 12, 14, or 17.

To what end must she be clothed at home? To be comfortable? She is comfortable nearly naked. To check the immodest thoughts of her parents? That is not her problem, it is your problem.

She's only 3. Let her run around naked all she wants! Your husband has some real issues to deal with if he has a problem with that.

My boys ran around naked until they were around 4 :)

Let the kid be a kid...

I remember my little sister going through this and it really was a phase.
Don't fight with her. Make a deal with her.
She can run around in her panties at home or sleep in just her panties, let her, but the deal is.....no fighting to put clothes on for preschool or to go to the store, etc. Everyone wears clothes when they go out somewhere and that's the end of it. She can take them off when she gets home.
My son was 9 and still streaking around the house naked after his shower and his favorite was putting his butt up to the fireplace in the winter time. I wouldn't always see him...just catch a glimpse of the little naked flash running by. He gets hot when he sleeps so he's been sleeping only in underwear from the time he was really, really little.
Your little one is only turning 3. She can't get along with running around like that for long. Don't battle at home but make her understand she has to wear clothes everywhere else.

Hope that helps.

Years ago, Dana Carvey had a hilarious stand-up routine where he talked about his boys at that age wanting to be naked all the time and it was a constant battle. Finally he made a deal with them - they could have "naked time" for 2 hours every night as long as they cooperated with having clothes on during the day. Maybe explain to her that staying in her undies is fine in the house if no one is over, but if there is going to be company or you guys are going out, she has to get dressed - if she starts flipping out, she loses "naked time". And I would suspect that she's learning that screaming gets her her way and it's just a matter of time before she wears you down.

It's possible she could have sensory issues as well, and things like seams, tags, etc. really bug her.

And maybe remind your husband that this is not really fun for you either.

Barring some sort of sensory issue, the key is in your post. "She screams and throws a fit until I end up taking them off." Screaming and throwing a fit is getting her exactly what she wants. Sometimes it takes longer than other times, but it's working for her, so why should she stop? "It's too tight" is just a phrase she learned at one point, so she uses it, whether it's true or not. You have to be consistent in power struggles with children. You have to un-teach this behavior, and it'll get worse before it gets better because she'll up the drama to try to get her way. Have her choose what she wants to wear the next day before bed, then stick to it. Have her pick which shirt, which pants, which shoes, whatever. Almost all kids go through taking off their clothes once they learn how, it's a new skill. Just put them back on without any conversation. If you're talking, she'll argue. If you're not, she can't.

I am so glad that you brought this subject up! We are struggling with the very same issue in our 2 1/2 year old! We don't know what to do either! Looking forward to some of the suggestions!

My almost 4 year old is like this. We live in the tropics, so we are fine with the undies-only scenario at home and for sleeping. Even when it's cool at night and my husband and I need a sheet, she doesn't want to be covered. However, she is good about wearing clothes to pre-school and to go out, though she complains some are scratchy and won't wear them. The grey zone is Grandma's house, where generally I let her take her clothes off, but if Grandma has visitors, it's sometimes hard to get her to keep them on.

So to answer your question, I agree, pick your battles. Don't make her wear them at home. And I can't think of anything better than Kristin's suggestion about rewarding her for wearing clothes when you go out.

My daughter is 3, and has been getting her self undressed since she was 2! But, she used to always take her diapers off as well, and run around completely naked! In fact, she's recently learned how to unlock the front door (deadbolt & all), i ran down to the basement to take some clothes out of the dryer...when i came back up minutes later, i saw her clothes in a pile & the front door open. I ran outside after her, and there she was, naked as a Jay bird...talking to a man & his young son on their bicycles!!!! Horrors! Lol. We all got a good laugh out of that. The man jokingly said "Good day for a streak, huh?". But i was so embarrassed. He tried to reassure me, because he had kids, that it's common & that he wasn't shocked. Said he got his laugh of the day. :)

But, out of all my kids, (she's the youngest of 4), she's the only one who's ever wanted to be undressed all the time! My now 6 yr old son, ocassionally between the ages of 2-3. But Josie is terrible! It's an everyday battle. I'll dress her, and the next thing i know, she's completely stripped down! Argghh! Short of duct tape, i don't know what to do either. Just wanted to share my story with you so you don't feel like you're the "only" one. I truly believe its' a normal toddler phase. My daughter doesn't like wearing her pajama's to bed either! I don't mind, as long as she has a diaper or underwear on at night. Like you said, you have to pick your battles. But i see nothing wrong with her being undressed in the comfort of your own home. Now undressed out on the sidewalk is another story... :)

At our home we sort of have a clothing optional environment. My daughter can wear or not wear whatever she wants inside, but if she goes out or we're going to have company she has to have clothes on.

I sort of make a silly teasing silly game out of it if she fusses. "Oh my, look at you all nakkie in you nickers, no body needs to be peeking at your undies, let's go get some clothes on before everyone comes over." She's usually giggling and in her room going through drawer in seconds. Also she loves company, she thinks anyone who comes to our door is there for her. So I can make a deal with her, if she'd dressed then she can visit, but if she's nicker clad then no go.

Good luck.

Have you tried getting used clothing that has already been washed a few times they may be softer? Also try putting things on inside out my son has had issues with how things feel too. And I too like to be comfortable in my clothes so when my kids were little they only wore natural fibers next to their skin. Good Luck!
J.

Its a just a phase. I went through that with my son only he liked to be completely naked. I would let him run through the house naked as long as company wasn't coming over. Maybe you can pick certain hours for her to be in just her underwear and the rest of the time have clothes on. If its normally just your family and no pop in guests, I say let her run in her underwear. Its innocent and shes only 3. Let her sleep in just her underwear. A lot people do it. My husband didn't do much in helping me out with my son so he had to say. I told him how it was going to be.

Just another thought here, everyone seems to be really ok with letting her run around naked at home. I'm sorry but if it's ok now, it will be really hard to get her to understand later that it isn't alright. My friends 7 year old daughter will sit around topless, and I'm sorry but it may very well make people who drop by your home very uncomfortable. And I doubt your husband's issue is the simple nudity, but she's a little girl, and fair or not, unlike little boys she needs to be covered up top and on the bottom.

I have the exact same problem with my 2.5 year old daughter. The worst part is how long it takes to get out of the house when I can't get her to put her clothes on. The only thing I have found that helps is if I let her wear a special dress. She gets very excited about putting on dresses. We have gone to the grocery store in her long velvet and glitter party dress.

She might have a "sensory issue"...ask an Occupational Therapist (preferably one that works with kids) what she/he thinks. It might just be a matter of doing a few things with her before she gets dressed in the morning (deep massage of muscles, "brushing" the skin, etc....)
Hope this stage ends soon. Very frustrating...

I totally understand about the battle and the hubby not understanding.. I have three girls, one pre-teen, one special needs and one very stubborn two year old. I just do what I have to do to get through the day, hour by hour is what I say.... Is it possible to negotiate and ask her "if you get dressed when we go out, you can be "nakee" when we are at home"? and/or a reward system for doing so? a star chart with stickers? a prize (from the dollar store) near by for filling up the week with stickers?
What about the texture of the clothing, do you see her tearing off one texture quicker than another?
Good luck!

Might also want to ask yourself if she might be sensitive to any new laundry detergent, softners, etc that you might be using. "too tight" might not necessarily be that they are too tight, but when the fabric touches & possibly irritates her skin, she may determine that as too tight. She doesn't necessarily have to have any irritations or rashes for her to notice. Some people just have very sensitive skin...elastic, certain fabrics or blends?? Worth "experimenting" and see. I know Abbie had a FIT about certain textures on her skin. Not irritating, but she hated it. 100% wasn't a problem.

Just a thought. Seems as though it would effect her underwear, too, but who knows what they are thinking. She DOES clearly need to learn to keep her clothes on. Make some kind of consequence for taking them off and LIMIT when she can take them off. Set boundaries and limits.

Does she wear dresses? I would just throw a dress on her. They are easy on and easy off for you. That way you aren't fighting with pants and a shirt and all of that. Some kids just like to be naked!! Hopefully it is just a phase that she will grow out of.

It doesn't bug me, but your husband has a problem with it. I don't know how you can change his mind. Good luck.

have you given her some one on one positive attention lately?

when my kids are acting up like this (whatever the issue is...) they usually fix the bad behavior on their own if we take some time to really listen to their feelings and chat about whatever is important to them.

my daughter went through a pretty stubborn clothes phase a while ago, and my mom advised me to pay more attention to her and talk about how she felt when mommy was talking to someone else besides her. i know. totally unrelated. but after we talked about how she felt sad when mommy talked to her friends and didn't talk to her... she just let go of the clothes issue.

talk to her about it.(not while you're trying to get dressed-- at a calmer time of day :) ask her how she feels... ask her what she thinks we should do about the problem and see what solution she comes up with. tell her daddy is concerned and mommy is frustrated and you want her to be comfortable but people wear clothes...

and no matter what, most of these frustrating battles are phases that do eventually resolve and a few months from now you will be over this and moving on to something else :)

I have 7 girls and they all went through this stage! If we are not going anywhere I don't make it an issue! If they want to run around in underware, so be it! As long as no one is coming over, I don't make it an issue. There are far other issues to make than this one! The good thing is that they do outgrow this stage! They will not go to Kindergarten naked! Well unless you homeschool as we did! Pick your battles wisely because you will have far more later!