Toddler Not Making Transitions

We use elmination communication and my boys were both trained by 18-22 months. If you think she is ready, keep with it, go to undies and don't go backwards, stick with undies, diapers at night only. She is at a good age to potty train, she jsut needs to realize that mom isn't going to back down.

As for the bed, you need to choose, crib or big bed, and then take the other down and put it away. IF you choose to kee pher in the crib, then either take the big bed down and put it away or not let it be an option. IF you choose to put her in the big bed, take the crib down and put it away.

i would let her be the guide avg age for full potty training is 3.5 years. my daughter was showing sign when i was prego with my son a little before she turned 2 but i waited tell after she was 2 to even consider i knew she would regress with the new baby. i would wait when she is ready she will let you know, same with the bed sound like she is not ready a big sign that they are ready to leave there crib is if they are crawling out my daughter was not and sleep in her crib tell she was 3 it is safety for them and something they can control with a new baby is hard to start to make new changes. i would say if she is not crawling out i would just buy a new crib or used. when my daughter was born we bought a life time crib thinking we could use it for other ones after her but then why buy a life time crib we bought another life time crib for my son my daughter is in the toddler bed f er crib and my son 19 mo is in his and now we are expecting # 3 in march and thinking that we will need to buy another crib.

Having done this twice and being a daycare provider, the best advice I can give you about the potty is to completely ignore it! YOu have laid the foundation. She knows where it is and what to do on it. She will want to use it at some point and she will. My experience, the more you push, the less likely they will do it. Two year olds love control...this is one thing they have complete control over!
On the bed issue...if it is necessary for her to be in the big girl bed because baby needs the crib, I would just remove the crib from her room. Hype up what a big girl she is, how proud of her you are, let her pick out a cool blanket or pillow that only big girls can have in their SUPER COOL big girl beds. Then, stick to your decision. Be prepared for about a week of a struggle. After that it will get better.
If it is not necessary, I would do the same as with the potty. I would just take the bed and put it in storage for a while. It sounds like there are a lot of big tranisitions happeining at your house all at once. Maybe the crib is a piece of security for her. If possible, try 3 or 4 months after the baby is born and she is well adjusted to being a big sister.

Good Luck!

So to honest with you my two year old just got potty training I won't push it she will tell you when she ready. I understand why you would like her potty trained due to $$. With a new baby coming. I just had my fourth baby 3 months a go and my 2 year say that he baby wore daipers too and she was not the baby no more she was a big girl so she deciced at her own time that she was giving all her diaper to the baby. I didn't fight about it and you know it work. We went out and bought new underware no pull ups and I put her in them and if she had a accedent she knew it felt icky and held it untill she could get to the potty. I did end up buying pull up for at night but not durng the day. I think that they have a hard time knowing the differents between the diaper and a pull up.

Something else to think about is that two years old get very jealious of new baby and if she does get potty trained before baby is here she might regrass and that is just more work for you. I would try the no daiper and just underware. Allot more laundry and work but my daughte was tained in 2 weeks and now she has been aciendent free for 6 month sleeping in underware. It worse a shot.

Congraulation on baby 2. I hope all goes well. When are you due? If you need any help look me up. I live in Andover and I am not crazy just want to help out another mom. E-mail me if you need to talk .
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K.

I'm not sure. I can tell you our experience though and maybe it'll help. Potty training went well as the daycare lady pretty much took it upon herself. She'd stamp a sheet of paper each time she went and on occassion would give out candy. The bed transition went hard. We tried putting a child gate in her room to lock her in, we tried taking the side down on the crib, we tried the mattress on the floor, and it ended up where she'd sleep on the floor. We had a toddler bed in her room and one night after doing research on-line we decided to shut her door and let her cry and fuss. After an hour or so we peeked and noticed she had climbed in her bed. It took a good month or more for the transition to complete. Have her pick out a stuffed animal to buddy up to for bedtime. Not sure if that would help any.

Here is my opinion. Completely forget about the potty for now. Don't even mention it or you will make both of you hate it. Trust me when I say she is clearly not ready. She does not have enough control of her body yet to make things happen on the potty the way she knows you expect so she is becoming anxious about even trying. Let the potty learning be child led, it will happen.

The bed is a little more difficult. Sounds like multiple things are happening so I would remove the variable of the big girl bed since she is a little on the young side for it anyway. Concentrate on getting back to the bedtime routine you had and address her anxieties about you leaving. Many kids at this age start having more vivd imaginations. They start having intense or scary dreams. They start seeing "monsters" in shadowy places. If she is a verbal kid you can start talking with her about what is going on. If it is monsters then you can create a spray bottle with monster spray or we keep pockets full of pretend "monster go away dust" that we throw at the monsters. If fear of the dark is a problem make sure she has adequate night lights (my son actually has to fall asleep with the light on and then I dim it down when I come up to bed). If once you have addressed her fears or anxieties as best you can and she is still screaming when you leave then you may have to do a little retraining (modified cry-it-out is what I prefer). Set her in her crib, then sit on the floor in her room and hang your head low like you are dozing. No eye contact, no talking. Stay until she drifts off. The next night move a little farther away to sit down. The next night maybe outside the room and so forth as you judge. In a couple months think about trying the big girl bed again.

Trying the two things at once might be too much for her. I'm thinking your daughter is overwhelmed and that's why she won't try either one. I suggest you stop all the training. But leave the potty out and ask throughout the day if she wants to use it. And then be okay with whatever answer she gives you. I would wait until at least 3 months after your baby is born to try the big girl bed. She might be anxious about the baby coming and all that. She might need her crib for comfort now.
My daughter was 28 months before we put her in a bed. That was about 3 months after her baby sister was born. It has worked really well for us. I didn't potty train her until she was in her bed for a couple of months. One thing at a time worked well with us.
Let me know if you want to try some of the things we did for transitions. Hang in there. I know how frustrating it is. But, all of it does get done and your daughter will be trained in both areas sooner or later.
Best of luck to you.
LT

She sounds like she's not quite ready for the potty yet emotionally. Leave it be and come back to it in a few months. I know how badly you want it and you probaly don't want 2 in diapers but right now she's not going for it and if you did get her trained she might regress after the baby comes. I would wait until the new baby is here and she's use to the new baby then try again, at that point she might like the one on one attention more. I really think if you push it right now your in for a power struggle.

As far as sleeping in the bed, maybe put just the mattress on the floor, let her get use to that and then put the mattress back on the bed itself. You might have to get tough and let her cry it out too. She might like all the attention she is getting flip flopping beds each night. Maybe take the crib and put it in the basement or garage and tell her it's gone.

My little girl is just a few months older and we just went through (and actually are still going through) both of those transitions. They are big ones! 26 months is still pretty early for potty training. I've heard from lots of different sources that only a small percentage of kids are ready to potty train at that age. The vast majority of kids potty train closer to 3. Potty training is one of those things that when they are ready to do it, it actually goes really fast! We found that our two-year-old was really motivated by M&Ms, so we let her have an "M" every time she went on the potty. I think we just got really lucky that we found her magic motivator right around the time that she was really interested in trying the potty herself (she was around 28-29 months when she got serious about the potty). For what it's worth, we had a little potty for her for a good 6+ months before she ever showed any interest in it. It sounds like your daughter just might not be ready yet. Especially with a new baby coming, I'd hold off on the potty training for a little bit and try again later when there's not so much pressure on both of you.

As far as the big girl bed, we're still having some trouble with that one. Mine will sleep fine in it at night, but naptime has been horrible. The big girl bed also happened for us around the same time that potty training happened and I suspect that has a lot to do with why my daughter doesn't nap anymore. Of course, mine stopped napping in the crib as well, so we went ahead and took the big girl bed plunge. That's probably no help at all, but just thought I'd let you know that the big girl bed is a struggle for a lot of us.

Good luck with the new baby! We're expecting a new one around the same time and I'm sure that will be another big change to deal with in addition to all of the other fun two-year-old stuff.

Sounds like you're using a lot of positive reinforcements and praise. Keep it up! The thing I can suggest is DON'T BACKPETAL. I mean, once you start using the big girl bed, don't go back to the crib. (we started just using the bed at nap time, and the crib at bedtime...for a while, then switched completely). If Mylie is anything like my daughter, once she knows she can get something one way, she knows she can keep doing it...getting her way! Stay strong and consistant. My daughter started showing interest in the potty at about 15 months, and it wasn't until close to 2 yrs that she is wearing undies full time. We still now have "leaks" on the way to the potty, and need to give her reminders (at 27 months).
Good luck!

K.,

I don't know if I can help you, but my son has been going through a similar phase. He went about a month where he would not even sit on the potty and would totally freak out if I tried to get him to. He has just started using it again. I really think I was pushing him to hard. He is also still in his crib, and shows no interest in switching. I'll be reading the other posts to see what mom's suggest for you. My only advice is to quit talking about it for a week or two and then start again. That worked (sort of) for us. At least now my son will sit on it if I ask him to, even though he still isn't telling me before he has to go. I have to initiate the whole thing... I too am very tired of changing his diapers.

Good luck.
J.
SAHM to 2 year old Charlie and 10 month old Joey

My daugther is the exact same age 7/28/05 and has been transitioning well to the potty. Like the other moms are saying, take a couple weeks off and then put her on the potty when she wakes up in the morning, every morning until it becomes routine. Don't do it or talk about it any other time of the day. Then bump it up to morning and after naps until she is more used to it and motivated by being proud of herself for actually doing it occasionally and getting her reward. Our reward is a big smile, hugs and kisses and Yahoos!

Next thing, when you get her to sit down, I hold Abbey. I get on my knees wrap my arms around her waist and let her rest her head on my shoulders. Sometimes we rock a little side to side and sing "row row row your boat," (same song every time) or ask if she'd like to read a book.

The sleeping thing, ugh! We're going through the same thing. When she used to cry in her crib, we'd do the same routine every night, give her a kiss and hug and tell her I love her the same way every night and leave. She'd cry for 5 or 10 minutes and give up. Now she is crawling out of her crib so I'm trying to get her in a big bed. She gets out 3 or 4 times every night and I just talk to her sternly and keep putting her back, with less and less talk everytime, she eventually stops and falls asleep. Frustrating, I know, but it works. Consistency, even if it sucks for you for a week or two. Important: BOTH parents need to do the same thing. My husband ALWAYS gives in. I'm struggling with keeping the baby in bed and keeping my husband dowstairs!

Hi! I'm a stay at home mom of 3 and a step-mom of 2 (and I'm a medical assistant)...Angel who is 8, Tony who is 5, and Sam who is 4. As you can see, all my kids are pretty close in age so we've had this struggle a few times over. When it comes to the potty thing, my daughter was potty trained by three...her brother was born on her 3rd birthday so we had to try to get it done soon. He on the other hand wasn't "completely" trained until he was already 4! The youngest one was in diapers as well at that point and we were running low on cash so we simply told him we can't buy anymore diapers and "Spiderman" wanted him to where some of his big boy underwear...needless to say we've only had 3 or 4 accidents and now he tells me "Spiderman will be SO proud mommy!".....What I'm trying to say is every child is different and they ALL go at their own pace....so keep it simple and let it go for a while...she WILL tell you when it's time! These are great questions for your doctor by the way! Ours told us not to worry especially because we have boys...they take a little longer and most kids start around 3-4 anyway!

When it comes to the bed thing...you need some sort of control established right now or you will lose it all when the new baby arrives! (trust me, I know!) It IS okay to let her cry...it may seem cruel for the first few days but after a week or two it will all be like second nature for you and her! And like one of the other responders said, BOTH parents (if together) need to do the SAME thing! Consistantcy is the key all the way!!! :) Putting just the mattress on the floor is a great idea...we did it for a few months and after a while he didn't like the floor and put the mattress back HIMSELF! And this "flip-flopping" from crib to bed is giving her attention now that she might not get without a fight when the baby comes...that's something you DON'T want!........Be strong...it will ALL work out!

Oh, and congratulations!!

I wouldn't worry about the potty training thing. I have 4 kids and they just don't do it until they want to do it. Most kids aren't fully trained until 3 - 3 1/2. If they are trained before then it's usually the Mom that's trained. I can tell you that even if you get close it's going to be tough with the new baby because you can't feed baby and do potty at the same time. I would wait until she's ready, going in there and doing it herself.
As for the bed. Our oldest had a hard time but when she was 2 1/2 we bought her a new bed and let her pick out the bedding so it was her "special" bed. She slept in there every night without a problem after that. Maybe take her and get a new blanket with Dora or someone she likes on it and a new bear and make her keep them in the bed.
The best thing you can do with kids is go with the flow. Otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts. I learned that the hard time with my first. I guarantee you there are no typical kids that go to Kindergarten in diapers :o) She'll get there.
If it's the cost you're worried about you could switch to cloth, that's what I do because I have 2 in diapers going on 3.
Best Wishes,
J.