Toddler Is SCARED of Sitting on Potty!

They all have periods like this. My granddaughter saw "Flushed Away" and then one day soon after the Walmart toilet flushed while she was sitting on it. No potty anywhere but home for nearly 6 months.

They will forget and start going. Let her just take her time. Stop focusing on it, she will get over it being such a huge idea. She is suddenly getting all kinds of attention for doing this. It is too much.

Stop spending so much time on it. Kids don't potty train in 3 days. It takes years sometimes. She is old enough. She is fighting this due to some unforeseen issue. She will forget about it. Just keep reminding her to go every so often.

I'd take a break for a while. Revisit the idea later. Whatever the reason, she is not ready yet. Fear of the potty is a pretty normal reaction.

I agree with taking a break... she'll come around. My son was just like this - I backed off. Two months later he requested to wear his big boy pants... two days later he had his last accident. Be patient and take th pressure off of both of you... and it will come. Give her 'control' back... tell her that the potty is there and when she's ready she can wear her big girl panties and use the potty. Then let it go. Best of luck :)

Maybe you could pull the potty seat out of the bathroom, and let her sit on it in the living room (like it's a regular chair, pants up and all...) until she gets used to it. Don't pressure her to sit on it, just have it there for her.

You could try sitting a doll or teddy bear on it. (My 2yo DD used to have her doll go potty before she would sit and go. lol. Just make sure you wipe the seat down really well after each use.)

You could also try looking up potty training videos online, and watch a bunch with her. Show her that other children can sit on the potty, and they like to, and how good it is that they are.

I have almost always taken my DD with me when I need to use the restroom (my house is impossible to baby proof, so I felt safer with her in there with me) She actually prefers to sit like mommy on the big potty... and gets mad at me if I try to get her to use the potty seat or to put a ring over the big seat. lol. Maybe if you take her with you a few times (if you don't already...) and SHOW her how a big girl potties in the toilet... She's only 3, you can work on privacy later. ;)

Also...(after reading Dawn's response...) My brother was trying to potty train his 3yr old son while his wife was close to her due date, and his pediatrician actually recommended that they WAIT until after the baby was born. Pedi said that trying to potty train during big changes (like a new baby) usually doesn't work too well, because the toddler is trying to cope with everything else. So they waited a couple of months, and tried again when everything calmed down. He potty trained almost overnight. :)

This is so common - the whole fear the potty thing.
They do get over it, but it'll be when she's ready - not when you want her to be ready.
With a new baby on the way, it's likely she'll regress a bit anyway.
Our son was potty trained at 3 1/2.
I let day care take the lead (they had these tiny little toilets that were super easy for them to use and they'd take the whole class so it was something everybody did).
So after awhile, he'd come home and want to show me what he learned - yea! it was easy after that!
Also, I let him see me and Daddy use the toilet, let him flush, get use to the sounds, so he had no fear of it.
Let her know that ONLY poop, pee and a very small amount of toilet paper goes in the toilet - nothing else (and yet every child manages to flood the toilet at least once sometime or another).
Eventually they want to do like big people do - but they've got to want to - you can't force them.
Give it a rest for now and try again later.

Sorry mom. You need to give it up and let her call the shots here. You are the one who wants her to potty train. Not her. Let it go.

If you keep pushing her, you're just going to have more dribbles and a child going through a terrible time. The reason she is probably going through it is because she's going to have a baby in the house. Most of the time there is regression for kids who are already pottied trained anyway once the baby comes home.

Stop putting her through this. In a few months, try again. When she sees her friends in preschool using the potty, she will be willing to do it.

Dawn

I know there are people who believe the military method is the way to go, but I just can't get behind it. I think it makes the whole thing more traumatic for everyone. My son knew exactly what he needed to do, he just didn't want to do it. The bathroom was a veritable candy and toy store. No go. I finally just said it was okay, I won't be mad if he doesn't go, he can just tell me when he's ready. Two days later he did it all by himself.

IMO, she's just not ready. Keep the potty somewhere she can see it all the time. Put her dolls on it. May it as un-scary as possible. Read her potty books while sitting next to the potty with her doll or teddy bear sitting on it. Then after a couple of weeks, try again.

Too much for her right now! This sounds stressful. She is not at all complying, either. She can probably sense your anxiousness. Take a break. Revisit this after a couple of months. I sent my first one to preschool in pull-ups. She trained within 2 months of seeing the other kids use the potty. My second daughter trained herself w/ a little help @
3 1/2 yrs of age. Try again in July or August after the baby has been in the house for a bit. I am a parent educator who has worked w/ wealthy families, middle class families and w/ families who had their kids taken away from them... Every single child from all walks of life trained sooner or later - even if it was age 4-- unless medical issues or major pysch issues were present.

Enjoy your new addition and try potty training again mid-summer because of the changes about to take place.

Three year olds have many fears. And falling in the toilet or being flushed down the toilet is "real" to many 3's. It's part of development. My daughter was horrified of the "monsters" in her bedrm at 3. She did not sleep for 2 wks. Every night I would pull out the vacuum and "vacuum" them up. Once she decided that they were really gone we had to spray water, too, so they wouldn't come out ever again. Age 3 can be quite a developmental experience !!!!

First of all, the "3 Day Method" is a misnomer, kids get the "idea" in 3 days, they aren't trained in 3 days, the average is 3 to 6 months. Skittles and M&M's did zip for us, too, same with reward charts, stickers, toys...all a bust!! Kids aren't all the same, I don't know why we think everything that worked for others will work for every child, though it would be nice :-/

What DID work when he refused to poop was a "power incentive," something special to your own child, that you retain ownership of and the child "earns" the privilege of using it 30-60 minutes. This works with peeing or pooping refusal, and the site gives tips to help with children who will not sit on the potty like your daughter.
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

MANY children are afraid of the potty and toilet, for various reasons. You said yourself she isn't ready mentally, so you need to back off. Leave the potty out and tell her it's there if she wants to use it, put her back in diapers or training pants with covers and tell her the big girl panties are for when she uses the potty. Take her in the bathroom when you go so she can see it's a normal thing everyone does, but don't force her to go, just have her there and explain what you're doing so she learns how to wipe, flush, and wash her hands.

The fact that she will have a new sibling very soon (congrats!) means she will likely regress some anyway, a little or completely, so training now is probably fruitless and you would have to go down this road later anyway. My guy trained at 27 months, and just turned 3, but when I registered him for preschool for this September as well they told me if he wasn't potty trained the teacher would work with him, maybe that's the same where she'll be going? If so let her follow THEIR lead, then do the same at home, many times it works out better that way, especially since she'll see others her age doing the same thing. Something will just "click," she'll want to do what everyone else is and do it : )

My oldest was very difficult to potty train (other issues, though, not because he was afraid of the potty). An occupational therapist told me that the best method for potty training a resistant child is to have them go naked from the waist down. For some reason, this is different than wetting in their pants. Not sure what your flooring situation is, but we camped out in the bathroom for a day since we had carpet. I brought him coloring materials, a portable DVD player with potty videos, toys, and we read books.

Hope you find a strategy that works! Wishing you a quick and safe delivery!

Does she have any friends that are close to her age that are potty trained? I know its not necessarily something that you want an audience for but if she saw one of her friends do it like a big girl then maybe she would be more willing to try
Good Luck
(My daughter is 2 1/2 next month and we are on day 6 of potty training)

Both of my kids trained later. Also, there are two things a child at this age has control over. Eating and pottying. My dd wasn't willing to give up her control. If it was her idea, she would try it. If she didn't want to, she wouldn't. We did use pull ups. I found it much easier to change those or diapers versus cleaning up the house. Training pants and covers can cause a rash very quickly, so be careful there.

With my son, he was dry at night since about 15 months. But, he didn't want to use the potty. At 3, he wasn't afraid and would sit on his potty (with diapers or pull up on) when I went, but refused to use it on his own. He was able to stay dry most of the time at school. He would go potty as soon as he got to preschool and wouldn't take himself the rest of the morning. He had a few accidents, but they are good at dealing with that. He was fully trained a little after his 4th bday, still likes his little potty at home, but will use a big potty when out and about.

With my dd, I put out the same question as yours, and all of my answers were, WAIT. Just like trying new foods when they start solids. Be patient, wait and try every now and then. Keep her in pull ups or diapers. It is actually easier than trying to rush her to a potty when you have a baby in tow..... Just saying.... I have been in the same boat. My dd was 2.5 when my ds was born.

Oh, part of her mental issues may be due to a new baby coming soon. She might still want to be your baby in some ways....

I would say give it another 6 months...you have a baby coming very soon, which often causes some regression, so even if she suddenly decided to start using the potty now, she may not continue once the baby arrives. Having to rush her to the bathroom while taking care of a newborn won't be much fun either. My daughter was really resistant too, and no incentive in the world was enough to convince her that sitting on the potty was a good idea. She started preschool as a 3 year old in a pull-up and the teacher really didn't care - half the kids were in pull-ups, because she knew that kids potty train when they are good and ready, and it is not necessarily before 3 years old, or before preschool starts. When DD was 3 years 8 months, and waking up dry every morning, and able to go a few hours between diaper changes, we just ditched the diapers cold-turkey (except for a pull-up at night just in case), put her in underpants, and she had to figure it out from there. She realized that once she knew what it was like to be wet, and finally let go of some urine while sitting on the potty, using the potty was the better deal. She was fully pee-trained within a few days. Poop-training still took several months after that though.

My child was very scared of the potty. it took a long time and still at 12 she hates automatic flush and anything to do with public restrooms. It is a pretty severe fear and I agree with the last person that it will be when she is ready to not be scared anymore. I just gave into the fear and helped her anyway I could even if that meant to flush for her when she was old enough to do it on her own. It took her having to deal with it when I was not there that helped her build the confidence. I suppose you can start over and have her go to the store and pick it out . My child cried and hated it and we purservered(SP?) . We read books and waited and waited until something happen and it was just the joy we got through it. no rewards. I wish you best of luck. There is really no other answer to this but time. Preschool may help as she sees others do it and she may learn better there then at home....just a thought.

I would take a break, but just for maybe a week. Then go at it in a different approach. With my daughter, who was also 3 when we started training, we 'decorated' the potty (the small one & toilet), she helped, with streamers & balloons & we made it a 'party' atmosphere in the bathroom. Then I took a large box & covered it in tissue paper. Inside I spent maybe $10.00 at the Dollar Store for small 'gifts'. Each time she successfully used the potty, she got to get a gift. We celebrated each time & after a week, she transitioned to the toilet. We then went to animal cookies for each time she pee'd in the potty & 1 m&m for pooping in the potty. Good luck to you!!

My dd just did this and I asked the same question a few months ago. and got the same answer. We also stopped and waited for a while. On a trip to Ikea a few weeks ago, she saw a potty chair neon green, $5, and had to have it. My sister bought it for her, and about a week, maybe a little longer, later, she sat down on it and went pee. We were shocked! anyway, we are going strong no accidents in almost 5 days. Pullups nap/night and poop is another story, but its a great start. So, there is hope! GL it will happen soon.

Oh, and, I have a 12 month old, so diapers for 2 kids isn't really that hard, it gets to be routine after a little bit.