"Let's Go Try Potty" "No!" - Where to Go from Here?

I would wait until he is ready. Just talk to him about how he is becoming a big boy and big boy's go potty on the toilet. When I potty trained my oldest it was a fight, then I just gave up trying and within a month time he was accident free all day long. He just had to decide he was ready. With my second I took the same approach. First it started with him only going potty at other peoples house or in stores, never at the house. Now he is completely potty trained. For me I choose not to push my boys because it was becoming more of a fight. Rewards for both of my boys didn't work, they could of cared less about them.

I waited until my DD was ready, as in she wanted to use the potty. There is no use in trying to coerce them if they don't want to go, it just makes the entire process drawn out and frustrating.
My DD had about a 2 months trial run of being interested in the potty upon my suggestion (she went every now and then and would sit on it) followed by 6 months of no interest in it AT ALL. During this time I did not push it on her.

When all the other kids in her daycare started pottytraining she wanted to as well. So we talked about it for a while, set a date to do away with the diapers and just did it and stuck to it. We put away the diapers and never looked back (day and night). She had accidents during the day for the first three days (just a few) and that was it. At night it took about 2 weeks for her to be accident free (funny enough she had had dry diapers before that...).

I have heard from a couple of sources that boys often train later. my sister is also of the "wait until ready" philosophy and while all three of her girls where potty trained before they turned 3, her only son was almost 4 until he was ready. Then as in my case it was simply bye, bye diapers and no looking back.
There really is not much "training" involved if the kids are ready for it.

A mom on this site once told me that you don't ask. Change the vocabulary. "It's time to go potty." Don't request and don't ask. Be positive, but firm.

Ditch pull ups if you are using them. When it came time for potty training, we only used diapers or pull ups at bed time and in the very beginning, when we were running errands. In our house, pull up and diapers were "permission" to pee. I used plastic pants over undies for a little while, but both of my kids didn't tolerate them for too long.

Letting him choose a potty seat and his underwear may help. It gives him ownership in all this change. And this IS a big change for him.

Some people have success with rewards. With my son, stickers worked like a charm... for about two days. My daughter could have cared less for all the rewards. And after trying "everything" (except food, I wanted to avoid that), we learned that putting pennies in her piggy bank was a BIG motivator.

Daycare has the advantage of the group mentality that you don't have at home. When you watch six other kids do something and get praised, you want to try it too.

And lastly, he may not be ready. With my son the BEST advice I got from a dear friend was to stop potty training. I remember having a bad day and venting to my friend. I was really mad over it all (tried to hide it from my son, but expressed my frustrations to my friend). She stopped me and reminded me that I was getting irate over pee and it was a little ridiculous. She told me to stop. I thought she was crazy, what about all the "progress" he made. But the next day when I was cleaning up the floor and getting upset, I took her advice. We went back to pull ups. I no longer set the "potty timer", we didn't talk about it. We didn't try. Now, if HE asked, we went and I praised him and got him a sticker. But it had to come from him. We took a break for about two months. He was older. A little more "mature". I was calmer and more relaxed. The second time around he didn't need incentives. He trained rather quickly. It was a MUCh less stressful event for the both of us.

I'd just wait if it were me. I think child led potty training is the most successful. But if you are super patient, don't mind messes then you can try to help them along and it can have some affect. My second is now two and just starting to show some interest, he sits on his potty fully clothed and now likes to get on it with no diaper sometimes too. I am just letting him try when he wants to. My first trained right before his third bday in just three days, even overnight. He was ready and it was easy. When he was 2.5 and started refusing I put him back in a diaper and waited until he said he wanted to go potty on his own. Good luck, if it were me as I said I would just wait until closer to 3.

An important developmental step for every child is potty training. Most children begin using the toilet as toddlers, usually between 18 months and 3 years old. (Note: It usually takes a little longer to potty train boys than girls. Boys, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 12 weeks. Girls, on average, can be successfully potty trained in 10 weeks.)

Signs that your child may be ready to start potty training include:

Staying dry for at least two hours at a time.
Having regular bowel movements.
Being able to follow instructions.
Being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and asking for them to be changed.
Asking to use the potty or saying that they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.
Showing interest in the toilet and/or wearing “big kid” underpants.
When you begin potty training:

Dress your child appropriately for potty training. Garments with elasticized waists, Velcro, and snaps are usually easy for your child to take off and put on.
Choose a potty seat that your child can easily use on their own.
Your child may want to personalize his/her potty: by letting him/her write his/her name on the little potty, a sense of ownership can develop. Your child may be more likely to use a potty if s/he feels it is uniquely his/hers.
Assure your child that s/he will not fall in the potty (many children have fears of falling in a toilet while sitting on it).
Encourage your child to use the potty at regular intervals - or whenever s/he show signs that s/he needs to go.
Use proper terms (urinating and defecating) as well as the terms your child may be more comfortable with (peeing and pooping). Make sure that you define your terms so that your child becomes adept at using the terms him-/herself.
Start with the basics. Both boys and girls should be shown how to potty from a seated position first. Once boys master urinating from a seated position, they can “graduate” to learning how to urinate while standing. The reason boys should learn to urinate while seated first is that bowel movements and urination often occur in the same bathroom visit . . . additionally, the delay in learning to urinate while standing minimizes the likelihood of your son making messes while enthralled with the spray he can create by urinating.
Teach your child to wipe properly. Show him/her how to remove toilet paper from the roll, wipe, and throw the used toilet paper in the toilet. Instruct girls to wipe from front to back, which helps avoid urinary tract infections. (Note: your child may need help to wipe effectively, especially after a bowel movement, until about age 4 or 5.)
Be supportive and use rewards, such as stickers, when your child is successful on the potty.
Use praise, applause, special songs, reading a special book in the bathroom, or whatever else resonates with your child.
Avoid pressure: your child will likely have accidents during the process. Don’t punish him or her for any setbacks.
Be sure that your babysitter understands your approach to potty training and is consistent with rewards, praise, etc.
Let your child pick out new ‘big kid” underpants with his/her favorite characters (Dora, Thomas the Train, etc.) on them.
Use potty-themed books and videos to reinforce key messages.
Don’t begin toilet training during a stressful time (e.g., moving, new baby, starting a new preschool, etc.)
Recognize that your child has control of his/her bodily functions, and you can’t get him/her to “go” on the potty until s/he is ready. Don’t turn this into a power struggle because it’s one that you won’t win. If your child seems to develop a resistance to potty training, don’t continue the potty training. You can resume potty training when you child again expresses an interest in learning to use the potty.
When your child has completed a visit to the potty, show your child how to flush the potty. Some children experience fear of the flushing mechanism: they fear that they themselves may be flushed away. You may need to flush the potty for your child for a period of time, until your child observes no harm resulting from each flush. At that time, your child should naturally develop a desire to try his/her own hand at flushing the potty. Once the potty is flushed, show your child how to wash his/her hands.
Calmly and patiently teaching your child how to use his/her potty can be a trust-building, bonding experience for both of you. Let the potty begin!

Well, my son is Autistic, so he was four when we potty trained. We used the method set forth in Ready, Set, Potty and some guidance from one of his therapists. It has been successful for us. Hopefully, if your child is neuro-typical, it won't take as long, but you could have success with the same method. It takes some time to prep for this on your part, but SO worth it. Here's an outline:

1. Pick a theme. Find something that you child LOVES and reserve it for the bathroom. Decorate the bathroom in that theme. Only offer things related to the them in the bathroom. For instance. If your kid loves Mickey Mouse, take all of the Mickey Mouse toys and pack them away. Reserve a few that he can only play with on the potty. Put a picture of Mickey Mouse on the door to the bathroom. Get creative. Try to have fun with it.

2. Get rid of the diapers. No pull-ups either. These are confusing for children. Get plain white undies, decorate the front with a picture of Mickey Mouse (continuing that as the hypothetical Mickey Mouse theme.) You can get iron-on transfer paper for your inkjet printer at Wal-Mart. Make a big deal out of "gifting" him the Big Boy underwear. Make a big deal out of saying Bye Bye Diapers. Tell him the goal is to keep Mickey Dry.

3. Find a reward that is fairly instant that is also only for GOING potty. For my son, it was Nilla Wafers. As soon as he did anything on the potty, he got a cookie. Edibles are some of the quickest and easiest rewards. (When my son started going #2 on the potty, I gave him two cookies and a balloon. You can get one of those small tanks of helium from Wal-Mart and blow up a balloon to celebrate your child's achievement.)

4. Set a time and take him potty at regular intervals. No asking. "It is time to go potty." Make a chart to record when he goes, when he doesn't, when he has accidents. That will help determine what his rhythm is and will make it easier to avoid accidents.

For neuro-typical children who are ready, this process can take a weekend. There will be accidents. Accept those as a fact of the process and prepare to do some extra laundry (and have some Resolve Carpet Cleaner on hand.) Once they get the idea, it won't require the reinforcement anymore and you can unpack the toys you've hidden.

Good luck to you. I'm about to start potty training my twins and am planning to use much of the same methods.

My suggestion would be to hold off for a couple weeks (if you feel he is truly ready) and during that time talk to him about going potty like a big boy and about how soon he will be saying goodbye to the diapers, then when you are gonna make a go of it, do the countdown to the day and then go all undies, all the time and don't go backwards.

~I did the same thing for all 3 of my kids, I waited till they each were waking up dry in the mornings, told them what we were gonna do and when we were gonna do it, the morning of we made a big todo about it, threw diapers in the trash, went to all undies/panties all the time and never looked back. I used the little dum-dum suckers for a successful trip to the potty.

I have since learned on here that I had it *very* easy with all of my children...each one of them was completely potty trained (night AND day) right at or around 2 years old. I have 2 boys and a girl. I really think the key was waiting till they woke up dry every morning to even think about starting and then not going back and forth between diapers or pull-ups and undies/panties...less confusion.

first no, he doesn't get a sticker (or any other reward) for "trying" (which he's obviously not lol). he gets a reward for results.

S., if that doesn't do anything for him, let it go for another couple of months. he may not be ready. my son was 3. lots of boys are 3. no biggie. putting pressure on him (and you) will just cause drama and stress. who needs more of that?

third - "let's try to go potty" and the answer of "no". is not acceptable. he needs to do as he's told in the end. you tell him to go, and he goes. if he's not ready he will fight and it will be a struggle and refer to above comment. but just because he says no isn't a reason not to go in itself. you are the parent, you are the one in charge.

pt is a child's first real actual "job" or responsibility. we need to go in the potty whether we "feel like it" or not. no, it's not always fun. yes, we should wait until they are ready. BUT once they are ready (it's so hard to judge this, as a mom, you will just know) then they need to do it. you have to judge whether he is being obstinate or is truly not ready. if he's arguing just to be a 2 year old, take charge. at that point i do believe it is acceptable to put some pressure on them. hope that makes sense.

Does he sit on a potty chair or small toilet at daycare? He might be intimidated by the big toilet, regardless of the seat. If he does get him a potty chair, preferably like the one he's using at day care, if he is. Consistency and familiarity are key.

Don't put it in a question form, I said, "Time to go potty!" with a smile. When I got a "no" I said, "Oh, I'm not asking, it's time to go potty." Smile. I also used Gerber cloth trainers, not pull-ups or diapers, they feel the wet and mess better that way. I used plastic pants over them when out or he was napping/sleeping. Get him to the potty the second you see he's going to go (facial expressions, holding himself, etc.) For now it's on you until he learns to recognize and act on the feelings by letting you know or going on his own.

My #1 tip is if your son is sitting at daycare you want to continue at home, otherwise he may actually learn to go there but not at home, I've seen it with friends children and in posts here on Mamapedia. (The preschool we will be using in the fall said my guy didn't need to be potty trained, that the teacher would work with him if he wasn't, but I chose to train him and he was by 27 months.) At school they usually require them to sit and "try" so ask them what their routine is and try to follow that at home so he has consistency throughout his day and evening, knowing what to expect is a great learning tool.

My guy didn't respond to stickers and charts, M&M's or other small treats, toys from Dollar Tree, promises of a trip to Chuck E Cheese, not anything for pee training, and I later read that for some children actually getting potty-trained IS the reward, go figure ; )
For poop training I used this site for help and learned of the "power incentive" which had him pooping in the potty on his own within a day ~ literally running to go poop ~ each child's power incentive is different, the parent needs to figure out what it is for their child:
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

And as far as readiness check out this site, and know that readiness CAN be taught:
http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

Hang in there!

My son did not like stickers either. Jelly beams seemed to work. I would give him 1 for sitting, 3 for peeing, and maybe 5 for going poop. I also tried getting a variety of things from the dollar tree and make a treasure box like at the doctor. Good luck.

I learned a big lesson.. Let your child lead the way.. He goes at school because he sees the others going.. He is getting an idea of how it works.. soon he will want to go on his own and the "training" will go so much faster and smoother,

If you do not mind continuing this "Training for months" then just tell him, lets go potty. Be sure to let him see you and your husband go to the bathroom.. Again it will let him start connecting all of this activity.

He is saying No, because he is not ready to work on this with you..

Our daughter walked unassisted at 6 months, spoke in full sentences by 1 year old. But she was not "Trained" until she was almost 4 yrs old (3yrs, 8 months) .. Not for the lack of me trying on and off for years. But at her daycare she all of a sudden got what was going on by watching the other kids.. Once she was ready it was only like 2 days and then no accidents, never looked back..

I say, stop "asking" if he wants to go potty. Just be excited about it and say something like, "Ok! It's time to go potty!" I did this with my daughter and it worked WAY better than when I asked if she wanted to go...the answer was always NO.

You also have to make sure your son is definitely ready to potty train. It took my kiddos both until right after their 3rd birthday to really get it. My son was terrified of the potty until around 3. And...if you havent already, take the diapers away! The minute I told my little guy that there are "no more diapers" he was fine with going on the potty.

Good luck!!

Our kids learned by seeing us go to the bathroom and then our use of positive reinforcement.

My wife and I went into the bathroom and our son didn't want to sit on the toilet. Looking back I think it was because he was afraid of falling in. I peed in the toilet and my wife praised me for "making bubbles" and gave me some M&Ms. My son asked for some M&Ms too. We told him to "make some bubbles" in the toilet. Eventually he got the idea. Not on the first time, but after several times. After that it was easy. Go to the bathroom, and get a reward.

It has worked that way for my grandkids too. One time I remember in particular, my DIL was wanting her kids to go to the bathroom before they got in the van to go back home. One son was adamant about not needing to go and refusing to. I came up and said, "You know if you go to the bathroom at Grandpa's home you get a special treat." He smiled and said "Yah", quit the whining, and went right in and went to the bathroom. His mom looked at me, smiled and mouthed "Thank you." I got down my "special treat" jar (a clear glass 2 gallon jar) and had it ready for him to choose when he was done.

Good luck to you and yours.

First, I'd take one word out of your question to him. You need to say, "Let's go potty," then take his little hand and go to the bathroom. Dunno if you're a SAHM or working mom, but when you have at least a couple days of free time send the rest of the family away for the WHOLE day. Focus on potty training hardcore. Eat a healthy breakfast, because you'll spend the whole day pumping him full of salty treats and any drink to make him pee often. Then keep track of how long it's been since he drank and head to the potty then. Sit him on the potty, sit right in front and do anything and everything to keep him entertained...including bribery. Go insane with excitement and praise when you hear the tinkle tinkle. Then, the important step. NO more diapers or pull-ups. Only big boy undies that feel uncomfortable when wet or soiled. Don't go back! This it the best reason to give your kids the unhealthy treats you always avoid!

My son potty trained at 3 and a half and my daughter just last week potty trained at 2 and a half. We just went through a half a year of "no!" with our daughter every time we asked. Then every once in a blue moon she'd be running around naked and she would use the potty on her own, but not often. Then one day she took off her diaper and just started doing it on her own...this was a week ago and she has not been wearing diapers since. I think they just have to be ready to do it on their own. I have been reading her lots of potty training toddler books. At one point she said "me know how" which is her way of saying "I don't know how" when I read her a book...so I think she did not have the confidence yet. I just told her, don't worry, you will learn how when you are ready. My son was the same...but later. He would use the potty off and on...mostly off. But then right at about age 3 and a half he just seemed to make up his own mind and just started doing it on his own. So, to me, it is something your child will do when ready. You just have to talk casually about it, read books or watch the potty video (there was a great potty video at our library!), and encourage them to sit on the potty. I think your son is right where our daughter was at not too long ago. You can't force them to sit and you don't want it to be a power struggle...so just let it go for now. When he does sit on that potty on his own be ready to clap hands and give out M&Ms and really act super excited! But be warned, everyone says boys take a lot longer than girls...so you might have another year of waiting.