Toddler Ignoring New Sibling

Let it go!
Don't try to make him engage. Don't allow hostility, but trying hard to make him care is giving him attention for negativity. Let him be. A 2 1/2 year old boy and a tiny baby don't have much in common. My 2 1/2 year old plays with baby sis, but she's 1, walks, wrestles, and he's sort of copying his older sister and doing it for praise at times. Sometimes he yells at her (when she screams in his face and he's napping for example) or ignores her. No biggie. It will improve over time. Just give him lots of love when the baby is napping and you're not holding her.

I would say to forget about the relationship between the kids and focus on the relationship with you and your son. My kids are 2.5 almost 3 years apart. My son loves his sister and always has, but he hasnt always wanted to play with her or wanted her around. Fact is they feel they have to share us. Kids can barely share toys and for the first born child, the thought of having to share mommy didnt even exisit for him until 4 months ago. Boys especially are so bonded to momy that they dont want anyone else coming between them.

Once your son figures out that she's not going anywhere he'll learn to embrace her. Plus, the more one on one time you can get for you and your son, the quicker he'll come around. It's really not about not likely or being interested in his sister, it's more about wanting mommy al to himself and being sick of everyone obsessing over this new baby and not him. He'll come around, but if you push it on him he may not. 2 year olds typically want to do the oppisite of what you want them too.

Good luck! I've been there, it gets easier, then harder again, than easier... it's a revolving cycle!

I've been there! My almost 3 yo had pretty much zero interest in the baby. Didn't want to hold him, wouldn't help me with things, didn't care if he was laughing or smiling or anything. He just ignored him or if anything would do something mean like take away his binkie and throw it. Then once the baby turned about 6.5-7 months and was sitting up, playing with toys more, just more interactive and responsive to my older son all the sudden he seemed to start caring about him a little more. Now (baby is 8 months) my son LOVES him. He constantly wants to sit by him, play with him (sometimes he's too rough but we're working on it), he talks to him, tries to make him laugh, wants to sit in the crib with him when he wakes up from naps, wants to get in the bath with him (all things he would never have done before). Just last week they sat on the floor and played for a half hour and my older son kept hugging the baby and said to me "mom, I love having a baby brother" it melted my heart!
So, I guess my advice is give it time. I think boys aren't the same as girls, the baby doesn't do much but take time away from them so they don't interest them much. But I think that with time you'll find the baby becomes much more interesting to your son. Good luck!

Are you getting enough consistent 1:1 time with him during the day since his sister arrived. I imagine that you would be sensitive to this already but perhaps if you are a bit loose with when and how you give him your exclusive attention, you may want to think about making it more of a routine so that he knows that each day after sister goes down for her nap, you're all his and you will be doing x, y and z with him for about 20 or so minutes. If you discuss what the activities that you will be doing with him early in the morning, then that gives him something to look forward to and you can use it as a reminder if he starts to get antsy or starts to give you some grief.

Hope this helps.

I wouldnt push it on him. At this age, babies are extremely boring (to small children). When the baby starts doing something interesting, he'll probably show an interest, although it might be negative, because, hey, now this little person who takes all my mom's attention can get into my TOYS too!

My brother and I (we were Irish twins, less than a year apart) completely ignored and hated our little sister and brother. It wasnt until they were older that we really tolerated them, and in the last 5 years that I've gotten close with my sister. As long as he's not hurting her, I wouldnt push him.

What you have to remember is that although he is the "big" brother , he is still only 2 1/2 and does not fully understand. Toddlers that age do not play with other kids anyway and only play alongside them so this is all normal behaviour. I have 3 kids and had 2 1/2 yrs between all of them , my middle daughter was not happy when her sister came along and was a little to rough with her and also pinched her a few times , so I would much rather have the ignoring than that. As the baby get's older and can move around and actually play , your son will play with her aswell , and he will be older by that point also. Just remember that as big as he looks compared to the baby , only 2 1/2 yrs ago he was just like his sister is now.

J.,

I would venture to say that he is still a baby and at 2.5yrs, he also needs the attention. He sees his baby sister as an "intruder" and just someone else you hold. I don't think he has the concept yet for nurturing and being happy and accepting of her as you're expecting. If he was older (say 3.5, 4 or 5) and knows that he is separate person to the family, he would embrace her. Give it some time and it should work itself out. Don't push for him to be "big brother" when he is still working out the baby stage himself.

I think ignoring her is better than the alternative. Some little kids show anger towards a new baby and that's really tough to handle because you have to be afraid to leave them alone for even a brief second.

I think that perhaps your little boy might be thinking that if he just ignores his baby sister, she will eventually go away. Obviously that's not going to happen, but that might be his train of thought. I think you just have to be sure he understands that she is in no way replacing him. Show him pictures of when he was a little baby and talk to him about how when he cried you held him and fed him and changed him. The new baby needs those things from mommy too. Let him know he was your first baby and that will never change. Continue to show your love for him and point out the things he can do because he's bigger that the baby can't do for herself yet. He will gain interest in her especially as she gets a little older. For now, like I said, he may just be hoping she will go away.
It will take time, but I'm sure things will work out. Make sure he knows your heart is big enough to love them both.

i have been in that situation my self... but the only way to do it is just give him time he will realize that u still love him the same but he is going to have to accept her at one point in life... because he was only child til ur daughter came around he aint use to it... did u have with him when you were pregnant mommy and me time? sometime if you would get a child involved with a mother who is expecting and have him listen and talk to the baby then it might be okay