Toddler Can't Sleep Through the Nite All of the Sudden.

My 23 month old recently started doing this and after a bit of detective work, I discovered some new molars coming in. Could teething be the issue? Just a thought ...

All I can say is that they seem to go through phases. I know that with my daughter, when she's going through major cognitive developments, her sleep gets really affected. This too will pass. Based on what you've written, maybe his system is actually doing a little catching-up after a bunch of changes (new preschool, new bed, mom pregnant, etc.). Hopefully everyone can be loving and patient. Good luck!

Hi C.,

I am so sorry you are having a tough time. I was just talking to a friend about this same issue and she gave me some interesting advice. I have not had to do this yet but thought I'd pass it on because it worked for her. Her son started waking every night at 1:30am and would not go back to sleep if she or her husband left the room after consoling him. Her pediatrican told her that her son was having separation issues. He advised her to set her alarm at 1:15am and go in his room. She would lightly rub his back and say, "Mommy is here. I love you. Go back to sleep." She said she was in there less than 30 seconds and never even woke him. She did this for five nights in a row and from the first night, he did not wake up any more.

I thought it sounded crazy when she first told me but it worked and he went back to sleeping through the night.

Good luck,
J.

Have you ever considered the fact that your toddler may sense the tension in the house between you and your husband? The fact that you say your husband "seems to think that our marriage is going to end bc of all this" is a total red flag.
What kind of husband bails on his wife of 2 because their toddler is having a hard time sleeping through the night? Your son has gone through A LOT lately, moving beds, starting pre school, pregnant and probably not as attentive mommy...you son's behavior is normal. Your husband's response to the situation is NOT. Your husband is the one you should be asking about not your son. Sorry if this sounds harsh, it just sounds like your husband is being very selfish.
Be patient with your son, and tell your husband to get a clue! Good luck with everything.

My 2 1/2 year old son is going through the same thing (and has gone through it before). He has always been a great sleeper so it always catches me off guard and I'm no good without sleep. We have no big changes going on in our lives which leads me to believe it may just be one of the cycles that kids go through. It will just have to pass. A few things we did: Since I stay home I usually get up with my son and let my husband sleep, but after many nights I get really stressed out, so he takes over. Then we go every other night. I have also put a little "bed" on the floor in our room and our son doesn't get to get in our bed, he has to sleep on his little bed. Sometimes if he wakes up and is up for 3 hours I turn on his light and let him play while I snooze on his bed. We also found that when my son hadn't eaten enough at dinner he would wake up. These are just a whole lot of things we tried. Hope some of it helps.

Dear C.,
Your son might be a little young for this but here goes: First find out if he is dreaming anything scary at all. If he is you obviously need dream medicine. Find a "medicine" bottle, fill with water,place a neat label on the bottle saying "dream medicine", tell you son the medicine might taste a little yacky but you will give him a drink of water to chase the "bad" flavor so it'll be all right. Distribute as needed. If it isn't bad dreams maybe the medicine can be for what ails him. Give it to him in his bed, because that's the location where it will do the absolute most good.

Good luck to all of you and congratulations on your coming addition. S. in Bakersfield
check www BakersfieldHypnoBirthing.com for good reading

Sounds crazy but my daughter (now 11 yrs old), did same thing. Turned out a picture in her room took on a scary shadowy appearance with lights off and nite lite on. We did not figure it out until she could verbalize it!!!! So, turn the lights off, lay down and look around and see if anything could be frightening.

Good luck!

First of all, he should be eating solids by now right? Make sure he's getting three meals and 2 snacks every day. Nutritional requirments having met...

Every child is different. I have one which I can set boundaries and just redirect the habits by letting her cry it out. The crying stops within 30 minutes...unless she's feeling hot/cold, teething, or is coming down with the flu.

My other child cries all night long. It turned out that she was in pain, but didn't know how to communicate it to me properly. I would try to find out what's bothering your child.

With my child, it was acid reflux. The doctor had to put her on Zantac, which only helped a little. After she was able to tell me, "My tummy hurts" after she drank milk from a cup, I was finally able to figure out that it was my nursing that caused the problem. I was eating/drinking a lot of dairy and it was passing through into the breastmilk before she was able to drink from a cup.

After that, I took her in to see an allergist. She now knows to avoid milk and orange juice as a result.

Of course, your child will most likely have a different problem causing discomfort.

In terms of your marriage, the first 3 to 5 years of your children's lives are the toughest on marriage relationship. If you're relationship is between the 7th and 10th year, it's even more challenging. It's like a double whammy in phychology and self-help books. Most couples divorce during both these times. If you and your husband can survive these two times, it will be easier...not smooth sailing because relationship is work...but will be easier.

The teen years are the toughest on the parent/child relationships.

Just a thought, but the real issue is not the child, doing what children do, but the husband who it sounds like is overwhelmed. When my hubby gets overwhelmed, he is definately not himself. Try talking about his fear of being overwhelmed now and with another little one he may be really frightened he wont' be able to handle it.
I am sure he is having separation anxiety and maybe night terrors. My daughter whent through the same thing, just when we were starting to sleep, she switched it up with different needs, not a choice, but biology. Then our second one came at around the same time. I think it is worse when he has been sleeping so that is the norm, then this starts. Just accept it, lots of changes and try to be supportive to your son and validate the fear your husband is probably feeling. From experience, defensive does not work, but understanding and being a partner does.
good luck

Maybe he's having bad dreams, or his sleep schedule is off (is he still napping?). Or he's stressed out by a new part of life. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by staying with him until he goes back to sleep. Eventually he'll start sleeping through the night again. Remind your husband that having children means you rarely get a good night's sleep. You just have to do the best you can. Good luck.

Dear C.,
I am very sorry you are struggling with this. It is upsetting to hear that your husband would think that your marriage would end because of this. There are much bigger issues that come as children grow older. This is just the first. I hope he will be more supportive of you and your child's needs as time goes. In any case, regarding your son...my son started sleeping with us around the exact same age. He really wanted me to be close to him. This is not ideal for everyone, but I wanted to at least share my experience. Against my husband's wishes, I had my 27 month old sleep in our bed. Most nights, my husband was not there, because he works late and stays up even later. So it worked out for us. At 3.5, he very easily transitioned back to his own bed after his baby brother was born. We gave him a night light that changes colors and play some soft music. However, it seems that with your son, since he cannot sleep for three hours, it could just be a lot of change in his life, the preschool, his own bed, the upcoming arrival of a new sibling. Even though he may seem to be adjusting well to everything, it might be all these things that are making him feel rather insecure and with good reason! a new sibling can be a scary thing for a young child. They feel that another baby is coming to take your attention away! My boy was 3 and two months when I had my second child, so he could articulate his insecurities to me. He would say stuff like, "I love my baby brother, but I want him to stay in your stomach forever" or "I don't want you to have the baby. I want him to stay inside of you." So, even without ever experiencing another sibling, he knew somehow that it meant less attention for him. I would suggest doing what you can so that all of you get some sleep for now. THat is the most important thing.If everyone is sleep-deprived, tempers get short and things are harder to deal with. Especially since you will be sleep deprived with a new baby, try to get some sleep now. You can figure out after things settle down how to re-adjust bedtime routines, etc., to get him back on track. It sounds like he may just need some extra attention from his mom and dad to help cope with all the new changes in his life. Give him the extra love that he needs now before the new baby comes. It will help with the transition. Oh, on a different note, when our second son was born, we gave a present to the older child saying it was from the baby. That way, he would be able to welcome the new baby into his life and not feel so threatened by him. I think it worked! Good luck to you! Please tell your husband that it will work out with the sleep issue. It may not be ideal now, but this is such a short time in your lives! Before you know it, they will be teenagers and you will wonder where this blessed time went. Even though my son was in my bed for a year and a half, I am wondering now, where did that time go? I loved cuddling with him and sleeping next to him! Now he is almost four and sleeps independently in his bed. Ah, how I miss that time already! It really flew past.
Best,
A.

I went through this, although it was when my daughter was 3 1/2. All of a sudden she was up at all hours of the night. It got so bad that she would get up every hour and 1/2 and she wouldn't go to sleep unless either my husband or I (usually me) laid in bed with her. This went on for five months. When she would wake up and we weren't there, she would come into our room again and the whole thing would start over again. It was a nightmare. What our doctor suggested was that we lock her in her room. I admit, it was very difficult. However, it was worth the pain. They are too young to be traumatized by this and it is the BEST thing you can do for yourself, your marriage and your child. Believe me, it may be hard for one week but it is well worth it. My daughter is back to her old self - sleeping 10 to 12 hours a night :-). Good luck.

Hi C.

I can relate. When My son was almost 3 we moved, changed his schools and I was 8 months pregnant. He too started waking up in the middle of the night. Not sure if this will help your son, but my husband realized that many times my son needed to go to the bathroom. Not sure if your son is potty trained, but taking our little guy to the bathroom helped him. It seemed to be his bladder kicking in that was waking him up. After taking him to potty, sometimes my husband would need to lie down with him to get him back to sleep. We agreed not to bring him back to our bed.... Dad lies with him and pets him and this seems to help him to go back down much more quickly, less than 30 minutes. We have a ritual where Dad does all of the bedtime stuff as my son always pushes the limits with me. My youngest turned 1 and my oldest still wakes up several times a week, but the 15 to 20 minute interruption is just part of our lives now....and we realize it is temporary. My husband has a unique view and realizes that this is their special time. The fact that Nicholas calls for my husband is a great source of pride for my husband and he realizes that it won't be long when our sons think they are too old to cuddle with Dad. Our little guy sleeps through the night, so we are lucky that our middle of the night interruption is so limited. Hang in there and help your hubby realize this is only temporary.

B.

Hi,

My daughter is now 4 and when she was 18 months to 2 yrs she woke up a lot at night and I had to lay with her to get her back to sleep. It would take hours for her to fall asleep. I read a lot of books on the subject. T. Berry Brazilaton's books are really great and helpful. He said that everytime a child learns a new skill, like walking or talking or stacking blocks or something, that child often regresses in other ways and has to work things out in their head at night. which can cause them to wake up. Any way my daughter did outgrow it. and now she sleeps through the night unless something big happens during the day. like moving to a new class in day care or watching someting on tv. So we have NO TV during the week. that seems to help a lot. You have a lot going on with a new baby coming and your son may be picking up on the changes that are happening in his family. a new bed is great and exciting but still different and different is hard for kids, so he may be thinking about that, hang in there it will get better. As for your husband, men often seem to have a lot harder time dealing with things then women. and it is going to get a bit harder when the baby comes. I guess all I can suggest is you let your husband that everything will be ok and there are a lot of people who would love to have his problem. ( a healthy active kid and a loving wife) Your son will out grow this. everything will be fine. its hard to think straight when you are sleep deprived. But it will get better
good luck
J.

Not to worry, it will eventually pass. At least that was my experience (my wee one who went through something similar right around the same age is now 26 years old and, incidentally, now keeps me up with long, late-night phone calls!!). At 2-1/2 years old, she was still in her crib and all of a sudden at night when I put her down, she'd start to cry and would keep it up forever, it seemed. I had two groups of friends and acquaintences giving me totally opposite advice: "Whatever you do don't pick her up. Just let her cry for as long as she does and after a few nights it will stop; whatever you do don't put her in bed with you because then she'll want to sleep with you forever" and "It's fine to go get her and let her sleep in bed with you; that's very common practice in Europe." So I tried a couple of nights of letting her cry (it was torturous!), then one of the nights, her crying was so plaintive, I finally went in and discovered that her knee had gotten wedged between the slats. I felt horrible! What I finally did (I had to resolve the problem as I was a single working mom) was put some blankets on the floor in the living room, put her on them and lay down beside her until she went to sleep; then I carefully carried her to her crib without waking her. This way, she had me beside her to go to sleep but it wasn't actually in my bed. Within a few weeks, the problem was over. Incidentally, when she got older she slept in my bed every now and then with no ill effect. Do you read books to your child before bed? That might also help. I think this could be a very normal, developmental stage for this age. Good luck. If this is the worst thing your husband has to deal with as a parent, he's a lucky man. I hope he has some good advice books on hand when your children hit their teens!

hang in there! he is just transitioning to all the changes, baby on the way new bed and all! thats a alot for him!!

take care, and tell your husband this too shall pass,

God Bless!

Hi C.,

I haven't seen anyone ask this, but has your son gotten his two year old molars yet? My son's 28 months and was having trouble sleeping all of a sudden at 27 months (also transitioned to a big boy bed three weeks before that and has a sibling on the way). Sure enough he was teething. He cut 4 molars within a matter of three weeks and now sleeps through the night once again. Luckily my little guy is pretty verbal and was able to tell us his mouth hurt. My friends little one is not as verbal and she went through the same thing at around 27 months due to teeth cutting as well. Good luck!

Oh boy can I relate to your situation. It's tough knowing that in a few weeks you'll be adding another to the night time hours . I transitioned my little one at 2 1/2 into a toddler bed. She did great but on occassion she has pulled some late night tricks which has made it diffucult when, like you, we are expecting another in October. I am the only one who deals with these night time sleeping issues as my husband works till 2 in the morning and is desperate for sleep. This is what I have found. If I waver at all from the routine even once it takes much longer and makes things worse before it gets better. Once she came walking into our room and we were so tired we just let her crawl in to sleep with us. We all slept good but this paved the way for her to do it every night and from just wavering once it took me a good 6 nights of repeatedly having to get up and put her back in bed and say no this is not okay.Then she started wanting to sleep with her brother and sister who on occssion said yes. Much tears were cried and we both agreed we can't have any acceptions because she's just to young to understand. This has also happened with putting blankets on . She was crying for me 4 or more times a night to put her blankets back on. With the due date getting closer I thought I am going to lose my mind between her and the baby all night. I'll never sleep. So I told her she can not call mommy any more for this that I need sleep .I 'll do it once and thats it. Well she listened and the next day I woke up and relized she never called me. We talked about it and I thanked her ,hugged her, and gave her a gold coin. We have done great for the couple months and just in the last week I've noticed the night time callings have creeped in again. So we had a talk last night. So my advice for this is just make a routine and stick to it. Allow no exceptions. decide what your willing to do or not to do. You will have to deal with some tears but it's okay. I've finally learned this after 3 kids. Also if he still naps during the day it might be time to give that up. My little girl just did and it also really helped get her to bed earlier and easier. Now my biggest concern is I go in for c-section and will be gone for 4 nights. I am making my husband promise after all these months of my hard work that he won't wavier from the routine. I can just see him not wanting to deal with the issues and bring her into bed with him so he can sleep. I'll be one mad mama if he dose this. This is no time to mess with the routine. So I wish you the best with your growing ,changing family. Have a healthy ,happy delivery,. Also just so you know I've been working on this sleep routine with her for 7 months. Just to give you a time frame. These are delicate issues and changing as they change. Just when I think it's set she changes it. So hang in there.

Bring your son back to bed with you when he wakes up. He's needing to be near you. I'll bet the three hours he's awake equal the same amount of time he's away from you during the day.

Other reasons might be that his molars are beginning to come in, the sensation awakens him, and then he's up.

Also, he's 2-1/2, acquiring his autonomy, asserting his independence, and probably saying "Me do it!" "Mine!" At the same time that independence comes and the child asserts himself, he also has a new sense of insecurity. He recognizes he's able to do things on his own, moves away from parents, and then feels alone. It's understandable, when you think about it, is it not?

Two years of age is an age of disequilibrium. It is an age when children throw tantrums because they aren't able to fully express themselves yet. It's an age when they need our patience and help.

If you meet his needs, then he won't have to develop survival skills and need a therapist when he's older. You'll help him through this challenging time and he'll become a well-adjusted happy three-year-old, only to go through another (and perhaps more difficult) age of disequilibrium at four. These are the developmental tasks of our children and the challenges for their parents.

In the meantime, your husband should be helping you to help your son. Ask him if his own needs were met when he was a child because sometimes, when an adult sees a child's needs being met, it becomes upsetting if that wasn't true for him. Tell your husband that you and your son need his support, not the threat of a marriage unable to withstand the needs of a child! Once he understands that your son is struggling, not just trying to get your attention, take your time, or awaken you in the middle of the night for the fun of it, he'll realize that his job is to do what it takes to help his son. I'm sure he wouldn't want to do less.

Best wishes, M. Milos, RN

Likely you have guard rails etc but kids twist and turn so much in their sleep that it may be he's almost falling off part of the bed at times. We found that w/ our daughter so just put the top mattress on the floor. That way she can be half on/half off the bed etc w/ no big disruption. It cut way down on her getting up. Lack of sleep is a HUGE stress driver. Try to hang in there and tell your husband it will pass. Lack of sleep has caused huge fights w/ my husband but once you get a good night or two, you realize it's not your relationship vs an external force that is not permanent. New baby will be another challenge so make a committment to give it a year even if you're miserable half the year. Good luck.

Your husband thinks your marriage is going to end over a toddler who isn't sleeping thorough the night? Seems like an extreme reaction. First: consider a physical reason - see your pediatrician. Second, a lot of change has occurred in a short period of time: Pre-school, new bed and new baby coming. Your son cannot talk about it so maybe this is how he expresses his unease. Third, if divorce is coming up over a toddler who is not sleeping though the night what will happen with a new baby? Marriage counseling might be helpful.

I had a couple of thoughts in addition to what the previous respnoder said about not wavering from the routine. Try getting him a little teddy bear or doll to snuggle with. My son never wanted one, but my 2 year old daughter is in love with hers now, and she wakes up a lot less frequently. SHe's been in her "new" bed for 6 weeks now. If he doesn't have a night light, try that, too. I like putting a blue bulb in ours because it is a softer glow. And finally, be sure it isn't those pesky molars coming in. Every time my daughter got teeth, her sleep got completely thrown off the routine! Good luck with your second baby: if your experience is anything like mine, the second one is going to be completely different in almost every way from your first (not all in bad ways)! :)

M.

PS Reassure your husband that your love transcends a few sleepless nights and share with him the advice you get here!

When I was pregnant with my second, my son did the same thing. He was older than your son, 32 months, but this sounds so familiar. My oldest, never really could tell us what the problem was either, but he did grow out of it. I don't know if it is a stage, or if it is because of the new baby. My point is, hang in there! It may take a while, it took us a few months, but it will pass. Good luck!

First, tell your husband to get a grip, this is all a normal part of having kids. My son who is 2 1/2 just went through this and is now back to sleeping through the night. Your son is going to face a lot of changes with a new baby in the house,my daughter is 5 months old. You just have to be patient and know that routines you have will not be the same. You and your husband need to be understanding of your son, and know he will adjust, but there might be some unpleasant periods of time. I'm nervous for you that your husband thinks your marriage will end over this. What is he going to do when there is two. Remember this is normal and will pass. He knows there is changes coming and is more than likely reacting to that. He probably wants to feel safe and secure and that is why he wants to sleep with you, he know things are changing. Good luck and God bless.

I went through the same thing not too long ago. My son was waking up at different times of the night and just wouldn't go back to sleep. It was such a frustrating time since he has always been such a good sleeper! For a about a week we were bringing him into bed with us which was just fine with him! None of us were getting the best sleep though and I realized that this scenerio wouldn't work once the new babies came. (I'm pregnant with twins) It took about a week of long tired nights to keep him in his room. I would get him back to sleep and the minute I would start getting up from our chair or open the door we would have to start from square one. So this is what we did...when he started to cry I would cuddle with him, let him know that we were just in the next room, but it was bed time and he needed to get some sleep so that he would be well rested for the days events. I would then go over the plan for the next day. The next step was just sitting with him while he was in his bed. We cuddled or I would just pat his back. He wasn't allowed up out of bed. The third step was just sitting in the chair with my feet up on his bed, for comfort sake! He would just watch me until he fell asleep. Sometimes I had to do all three steps- if he really resisted me leaving the room...towards the end he really did just need a reminder that we weren't far away and I could leave the room after a quick cuddle with him in his bed. It still happens every once in awhile but now we know what to expect! My husband has messed with my game a bit. He wants to be able to soothe his son and hasn't taken the time to do the research that we do as moms to understand the problem and work on solutions! He also does not just take what I explain to him as gospel. So...there is a bit of a problem there which I have yet to figure out completely. When my husband has brought my son in to bed with us because he was REALLY upset as he says...we usually go through a couple nights of training again. That is when I do the explaining of how we can avoid that confusing time for the boy...and that what is best for us as parents short term does not mean that it is best for our children short or long term!!! Its frustrating and its taking longer then it took the boy to stay asleep in his room...but its all a learning curve, right? Hopefully they'll get it with the next round! Good luck and Congrats!

How is your toddler normally soothed? a special blanket, paci,etc?? And how was the initial part of the transition to a bed? When our daughter did it a month or so ago, it took about 8-10 days of us comforting her at night- not fun! she was also 27 months and it helped talking to her- telling her we were close by, always here for her, anything to make her feel safe. she even slept with a t-shirt of mine to have my smell by her and we printed a photo of my husband and me to put by her bed. we did let her fuss/cry to, coming in to reassure now and then.
Please reassure your husband this will pass and go see a sleep specialist, therapist, any professional if he's saying things like your marriage is going to end. I know the desperation of sleepless nights and it's terrible but WILL end. Good luck!

C.,

All of my children have gone through this and it always went right next to the arrival of the next sibling.. Our oldest even regressed out of potty training.. My husband being the big sap that he is (these are what I call his "second chance" children, he has already raised 3 others but our 4 are his first biological)gives into the first cries and usually brings the kids to bed with us.. I don't mind so much as long as they stay off my side of the bed! *LOL* But with our oldest he came to bed with us for about a month or two before we had our second, then once our second was born my husband and son went to the couch so baby and I could have the bed... Then when we got pregnant with our first daughter we upgraded our boys to a queen size bed hoping they would comfort each other and give my husband some place more comfortable to sleep other than the couch.. this worked reasonably well, but our youngest boy would still end up in our bed some nights, he was a very quite sneaker and would just crawl in beside Daddy... once again when we had our daughter my hubby took the boys back to their own bed so baby and I could have our bed... Now with number four 3 weeks away our daughter is doing the same thing.. there have been nights my husband hasn't heard her crying and I have just let her "cry it out" only to wake hours later and hear that she had been crying the whole time... Most nights as soon as one of us grabs her and takes her to bed with us she is back out instantly, some nights she asks for a drink of my water and then lays down to go back to sleep.. like with any change in life the arrival of a sibling is extremely scary, the other kids don't know what will happen once the new baby arrives and seek as much attention as possible before hand.. my boys don't even sneak into bed with us anymore, they are old hats at this and more excited at the arrival of a new baby sister than worried, but our daughter needs the love and comfort she feels she won't get once sister arrives.. we don't mind sharing our bed, or as many cuddles as we can, and in our experience that extra little time they get in bed with us at night makes the transition so much easier for everyone!

Good luck with your little guy, and your new bundle! In the end everything will work out great, and remember to give your hubby lots of loves to cause it sounds like he could use some!

It sounds like he's had alot of changes lately and just may be a little insecure. Give him some time. Maybe you could make him a little spot on the floor in your room next to your bed that he could climb into in the mornings when he wakes up. Be patient with him. A new school, bed and sibling are a lot for a 27 month old to adjust to.

C.,

I would bet the problem is your son is too young emotionally to be able to deal with the stresses that come from preschool. Daytime stress will show up in nighttime waking. I know a lot of people put their kids in preschool, but seriously, it is too young of an age for that kind of separation from the parent, no matter how well they seem to adjust. Could you pull him out for a few weeks to see if things get better? If your marriage is in trouble,it would be worth it, to try to get the stress level reduced at home. I know your tired right now and need the preschool break with the new one comming and all, but, I think you should bite the bullet and bring the child home.

Second, and most important right now, your husband. I know all too well that shocking scentence from a husband.I've been there. I'm telling you from experience, of walking over that bridge and looking back from the other side. It is more than just the issue of "the crying". Do you have different opinions on how to deal with this problem? Have you had fights over it, where you have disrespected his opinion? Has he asked you to deal with it in a certain way, IE: Don't bring the child to my bed, don't expect me to lay with him, etc, and you are not heeding his wishes? Are you making him feel guilty about any of his wishes? Is he wanting you to take a firmer stand on dealing with this? He may be angry at you, maybe he thinks you care more about the child's welfare than his. Are you still offering him intimacy? Whatever the issue is, CLEARLY, HIS NEEDS ARE NOT BEING MET. When a spouses needs are being met, they don't feel they need to leave. That wouldn't even come out of thier mouth.

I'm telling you this from my own experience. My husband shut down on me emotionally for the entire year after my first baby. Looking back now, I see it was because I was direpecting him. Nothing he did was ever good enough for me. He didn't diaper her right, he didn't burp her right, her formula wasn't warm enough, please get me such and such... No not this, jez! etc, etc, etc. And I just let him shut down and went along giving all my attention to the baby while dishonoring him with hurtful comments. I didn't think they were hurtful at the time, I thought they were constructive criticism, and I was helping him become a "better man".
Those early years were tulmultuous, but here we are again, with him threatening divorce, and although it seemed to be related to other things, after much analyzing and soul searching it came down to the same things:

1. him feeling disrespected
2. him feeling like I didn't honor him
3. Him loosing those feelings of respect and passion for me, because of how bad I made him feel.
4. me feeling disrepecful towards him because he wasnt meeting my needs to be loved and cherished

We are healed now but it took a lot of work and a humbling of my spirit, and then when I was humbled, he was humbled. The wife is the helpmeet. She has lot's of spiritual pull on her husband and many times she can lead the way for him by example.
Let me recommend these reading materials. I read A LOT of marriage books. The ones that really sunk in and worked for us were: "Sacred Influence" by Gary Thomas (a must for you to read) and "If He Only Knew, What No Woman Can Resist" by Gary Smalley - ( A must for him to read.) If you both read these books, I guarantee you will be looking at things in a different light. Then lastly, go to the library and check out the book "His Needs, Her Needs". You don't have to read the whole book but puruse through it and get the basic principle of the book.

God bless you and I will be praying for you.

First idea, The mattress might be to firm. My girls are in toddler beds(to firm and were not sleeping through the night) so I took old twin sized comforters folded in half and put them under the water proof mattress pad. Second idea, growing pains. I believe in making my child comfortable even if takes a little Motrin/Advil or Tylenol once in a while. Childrens Advil last six to eight hours. My kids play sports now and get cramps at night but have had growing pains only at night for years.
Also sounds like your husband is feeling the stresses of all the changes to come. Some of my favorite advice that was told to me was "quite fighting each other and work together as a team". Nobody wants to let there marriage end, work together instead of against each other for the same goal of: a long happy marriage with polite children that will become smart productive members of society. I know sounds corny and we are NOT corny people, but I works. Good luck