23 Month Old Waking Repeatedly at night-Please Help

I have a 23 month old also who sometimes does this. sometimes he comes in and just says mommy pancakes and other times he comes in like a crazy man. From what I understand this is a time of night terrors and sleep walking. Children this age, their brains are developing so rapidly that they tend to do this. That's why he goes right back to sleep, because as lucid as he may seem he is actually sleep walking. It will end soon.

i have to say i have 2 kids one is 4 months and the other is 6 years old but with my 6 year old boy we went from the crib to a todder bed for like 4 days to a twin bed he just didn't like the toddler bed i have no clue why we push the twin bed to the wall then we bought a thing that slide under his mattress and it was for him not to fall off the bed! he never got out of bed again and from what every tells me when they do get out of the bed all u can do is put them right back onto the bed! good luck i hope my advice helps!!!!

I don't have great news for you, but my son did this anywhere from 1-6 times a night until he was about 5. I never knew why & I never asked why. I just figured, although it drove me nuts, he also would just want me to take him back to bed & he would fall right back to sleep. One thing I know now is he sleep walks. He doesn't do it very often but it is a little freaky when he does. He never remembers talking to us & he is 7 now. I wonder now if he was actually sleepwalking as a younger child & that is why he went right back to sleep. I never understood it, but it just hit as I was writing this out to you. I think if that is the case, there is nothing you can do about sleepwalking, as far as I know. I would talk to your pediatritian just to make sure there isn't something you can do about it. I wish you luck & just be thankful that he goes back to sleep & doesn't keep you up longer than he does.

We went through the same thing with my son who just turned 2 this past Saturday. We put a gate up on his door and we haven't had a problem since. The first couple of nights he kept getting up and crying to get out, but we ignored it and he crawled right back into bed. That lasted about 2 nights and we haven't had a problem since. Good luck!

Hi C.,

I am a huge advocate of sleep training, but ultimately you may have to try a few different things until you find what works best for your little one. I used sleep training for my youngest (who was, and still is, in the crib) and it worked great, but it seems sleep training is exponentially more difficult with a toddler out of the crib. It was for me anyway, and to my dismay, it just didn't work. Looking back, I now think maybe he just was not old enough to “get it”. When my now three year was two and already in his big bed I tried putting him back in his room every time he got up, talking to him at bedtime about being a good sleeper, rewarding him for a good night, closing the door if he “decided” to get up again after being told not to, and all the other toddler sleep training techniques. Nothing worked and none of us were getting any sleep, so changed my approach. If he wanted to come in our room in the middle of the night and sleep on the floor, we let him. We compromised, sort of. The rules were: He had to go to bed in his own room at bedtime (which oddly, was never a problem for him). He could sleep on the floor, but not in our bed, and he was not allowed to wake us up. He would bring his blanket and pillow and make himself comfortable on the floor - he did this every night at about 2 a.m. for almost a month, but in the end this approach really worked. After a few weeks, he was back to sleeping in his own room through the night. Once I stopped fighting with him about it, it was no longer a big deal. It's like, as long as he knows the option is there if he feels like he needs to come in our room, he knows it is his decision, and it is no longer a power struggle. Occasionally I still get up in the morning and find him on the floor next to our bed, but that doesn't bother me. I am okay with it since we still get a good night's sleep.

From what I have read recently, kids aren't really able to understand the concept of staying in bed until closer to age three (wish I had known that then). But, you do want them to be safe at night, so what do you do when they start climbing out? I have a few suggestions that I have come across after the fact (meaning I didn’t try them myself) in my constant search for "sleep advice". 1) Put him back in the crib and buy a canopy that goes over the top to keep him from climbing out. I had a friend whose daughter was able to climb out at 14 months old, and they just were not ready to put her in a toddler bed yet. She said it really worked to keep her contained at night. 2) Set up the Pack N Play in his room and have him sleep in that. Another fiend did this with her son (a little younger than yours - 20 months I think). The sides were slightly higher than his crib and the netting is slippery, so he couldn't get a good grip with his feet. That kept him contained until he was tall enough to get his leg over the side anyway. 3) Buy a clock with only an hour hand (not sure where you would get one) and place it next to his bed. Put a sticker over the number 7 (or whatever time you want him to get up in the morning) and tell him that if he wakes up at night, to look at the clock, and if the arrow (hour hand) is not pointing to the smiley face (or whatever the sticker is that you put on there) then he can't get out of bed yet. Honestly, your son might be too young for that yet, but you never know.

Hi C.,
I also have a "jack-in-the-box" and so far, these are the only things that have helped. First, when she gets up, we don't interact with her in any way. Even scolding is attention, so we simply pick her up and take her back to bed. At first we had to do that A LOT. Now it's a few times a week. Second, I made a chart and decorated it with Dora (do whatever your son is into) and let her pick out stickers. For each night that she stays in bed, she gets to put a sticker on her chart. You could also offer a reward when he gets so many stickers, although for my daughter the stickers and the occasional lollipop were reward enough!

I haven't tried this personally, but I did read in one of the dozens of sleep books that I have read in pursuit of a good nights' sleep that if your child wakes AT THE SAME TIME each night, you plan to go in there a few minutes BEFORE and when he starts waking up, soothe him back to sleep. So in other words he'll never fully wake up. Eventually he will stop waking at that time. As I said, I don't know if it works but it is worth a try.

Good luck and congratulations on baby #2!

Annoying and exhausting as it might be, just know that at some point he will outgrow it -- as long as you continue to very matter-of-factly return him to his bed and nothing else. He has to know that getting up at night is not acceptable, not a fun thing. Doing anything other than just bringing him back to bed would make it fun.

Be sure that the pre-bedtime hours are not overly stimulating. Watching tv is very stimulating, especially to a young mind; eating just before bed, hard playing, things like that are also stimulating. We always had a routine which began with the bath, then reading together in their bed, then lights off, then prayer, we sang a gentle song, and by then they were usually asleep.

Also -- you mentioned a night light. You might want to consider removing it -- keep it in the hall or in the bathroom, but not in his room. Studies show that the darker the room is, the better (and more soundly) the sleep. I never ever used a night light in my kids' rooms, only in the bathroom.

Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby, Dr. Weissbluth. It's my sleep "Bible." LOL Everything is in there, and he gives you several approaches and methods and explains them all scientifically, not just with his opinion on how people should parent. I go back to it and find it useful every time I have a sleep problem. You could ask us, but this guy has studied sleep in babies for decades so I would go with his opinion. :) Good luck, I hope it gets better soon.

He might just sense that there is a big change coming (new sibling) and likes the reassurance that you will come. At 23 months, he could also be getting his 2 year molars, so I'd look in his mouth. When I was 6-7 months pregnant, my daughter would do a similar thing. Only she would cry frantically at her door which is gated as we sleep on different levels. I don't usually have a problem cosleeping under normal circumstances as needed, but it was difficult for me to do so with a big belly, limited sleep positions, and a squirmy toddler. So I went upstairs to her room every night and put her back to bed. She was waking once a night. She started sleeping through again and then started behavior like your son's. She'd wake up, cry/call for me at the door, and fall straight back to sleep in her bed. I wish I had a great solution for you, but I pretty much went upstairs, pointed to her bed without saying anything, tucked her in, and went back to my bed. She did stop the behavior shortly before my son was born almost 2 weeks ago.

Welcome to my world!! Advice: Have your son's tonsils and adnoids checked. I haven't slept more than 2 hours at a time in 4 1/2 years because I have two sons with the same problem. My first son was diagnosed with HUGE adenoids and had them removed via surgery when he was 18 months. The sleep test determined that he woke up 43 times in 4 hours unable to breath. I swear the night after his surgery he slept through the night in the hospital, unfortunately I was 7 months pregnant at that point, so I still wasn't sleeping good, then had his little brother 2 months later, and it started all over again. Now he is 2 1/2 and is scheduled for surgery Oct 20th. I am looking forward to a real nights sleep after 4 1/2 years. I hope your fix is as easy as this. He might just be getting you because of habit. Does he go to sleep without you in his bed? If not, just sit in a chair until he goes to sleep, he'll get used to falling asleep on his own.

I would say DON'T invite him into bed with you as one person responded, because you may end up exactly where you are now, but will have to also deal with untraining him to sleep in your bed! (The last thing you need as the Mommy of a newborn is to share your bed with a toddler, too.)
I have children almost exactly two years apart and I was where you are now exactly a year ago!
We put our DD into a big girl bed about 2 months before her brother was born so that we could use the crib for him. It was a bit of a transition to a big girl bed that did involve some middle of the night waking up. You just need to be very firm. "Once Mommy or Daddy puts you to bed, you need to stay in your bed." We took hints from watching "Super Nanny", if you believe that... return them to bed every time, and reinforce the rule each time.
Our pediatrician told us that it takes at least 6 days of consistency to change a behavior and up to 3 months to ingrain it. Stick to a plan (with your DH), doing it now, will allow for you to have toddler free night feeding sessions when the baby comes!! And that will be very important, too! (You may have a bit of readjustment period when the baby arrives and everyone's schedule changes, BUT since you've established expectations and will stick with them - no matter what - it will be easier to go back to the routine.)
I wouldn't say to move the night light or remove any of the comfort items from the bed. These are all still important and consistent with what your son already knows and his world will be changing in other ways very soon. (A new sibling is enough change.) The gate at the door is a good suggestion, too, but something we didn't have to resort to.
If it will work with your son, give incentives... ie. a sticker chart (for the number of nights in a row that there is no "wakeups".) A trip to McD's (and a Happy Meal?) could be a reward for say 3 in a row, or 5 in a row or a week... whatever you set. Although your son may be a bit young to understand that concept.
Good luck on getting this under control and getting some sleep during your last trimester... and best wishes for the upcoming birth of your second child. Congratulations.
T. B.
Mom to Katelyn, 35 months old
and Matthew, 10.5 months old

When sleep is the most important factor you may want to bring him into your bed after the first wake up. I wouldn't start the night that way but, that will solve the problem until he starts getting through the night. Good luck, C.

Hard to say what the exact problem is, but I can offer some suggestions. My oldest son, and also my fourth son, did the same thing. Suddenly started coming in and wanting attention or to sleep with us at around 2 yrs. With my oldest son we told him that he could grab a pillow and blanket and sleep on our floor beside the bed when he woke up, but not to wake us up. This satisfied him. He did this for a couple weeks. Then we told him that now he could sleep on his floor, in the doorway where he was closer to us. He did that for a couple weeks, then one day we realized he was sleeping in his own bed happily all night again. The compromise allowed him to be close to us, and slowly worked him out of our room altogether. My youngest son, who is 2 now, occasionally sleeps in his doorway now. Better that then in my bed. :)

I hate to say it.. but it is a stage and he will stop eventually. Please know that you are doing the right things. Don't let him get in your bed. Don't play with him, get him water, etc. Don't carry him back. He is walking back and going back to sleep. That is what you want. Many kids go through this stage, but from reading postings on this site, sounds like many of them are still in their cribs so they can't get around the house on their own. Mine, like yours, was well out of the crib by then, so he too would get up and come to my room. I also was quite pregnant (and very nauseous too, so waking me sometimes also made it difficult to get back to sleep). Just keep walking him back and don't do anything to encourage it accidently (extra hugs, talking, re-tucking elaborately).
We went through this also with our daughter, only when she was closer to 3.. Just try to be patient and "this too shall pass".
Hang in there.

C.,
At your son's age most children seem to have very vivid dreams and nightmares. He is probably scared and going to you for reassurance. It seems as if you are doing all the right things...He will probably ougrow it. The only suggestion is to monitor his activities prior to bed time, so there is nothing too exciting, scary, etc.and experiment with different ways he can calm himself when is he awakens from a dream. M.

He's just discovered he can get out of his own bed and come to you. This is very normal but I do feel for your lack of sleep. My almost 3 yr old still comes into our room just because he woke up and can, I'm now 8 months pregnant. Don't feel bad at all and wake up the Hubby. Do explain to him that you are doing this because you need to get your sleep right now. I have my hubby taking care of the nite prowler and he understands to at least let me lay and start drifting back to sleep while he puts the boy back to bed. He will grow out of it, mine is to the point that he doesn't do it every night. Mostly when he's congested. He also likes to wake up at 5am in the morning to watch Thomas too.
Good luck girl.

Hey C.,
I went through this with my 2 1/2 year old about 8 months ago. We had just recently moved so I think some of it was just because there had been so much change. If you put your two year old down early enough with the light, try turning it off after he fall asleep. Maybe if he wakes up and can't see anything, he will fall back to sleep! :)
If my husband took her to bed she wouldn't get out again, but he didn't usually wake up, so it was all me. Sometimes I ignored her and she went back to bed...sometimes I put her in bed without saying anything. It was really trial and error
It took what seemed like forever, but she finally stopped waking up.

I hope it gets better!