Toddler Afraid of His Room

Try using special monster poison(water in a spray bottle). You can spray all the monster hiding spots together before he goes to bed, and he can keep the bottle by his bed all night, just in case.

T.:
I had the same problem with my daughter....Her older half brothers told her that they were going to get her.....So, I bought her a "Sully" from "Monsters Inc" and Sully sits in her bed every night and keeps the monsters out. And then we went to Build a Bear workshop and built her a bear. She picked it out and then I talked to the worker that was going to stuff her bear and she made up a new bunch of sayings with the heart saying stuff like rub it for protection, pat it for a good heart beat and make a wish that it will keep the monsters out of the closet. Every night my daughter (now 5) will not go to bed without the build a bear in her arms..2 years later she doesn't remember the mosters but she now has "bad dreams" (she says) and "princess" keeps the bad dreams away. I hope if you try this that it helps you as much as it does me.
~AJ

This might sound silly, but hear me out. We often teach our children to be afraid. I'm not saying you make him scared or you are showing him monsters or anything like that, but if you think about some of your fears and why you are afraid of them, you might look back and see some well-meaning adult "scared" you. For example, I know growing up I was scared to death of insects. Looking back, I can now see my mom trying to protect me from a bee and panicking because it might sting me. To a small child, all I remember is her screaming and the bee and from then on I was scared of all insects (except lady bugs which she went out of her way to tell me were friendly). Now how this relates to your situation is this... Have you let him watch any movies or read him any stories where the person in the story is scared of the dark--even if they overcome that fear? Or in our case, we have a book about feelings and one of the feelings is "afraid" and shows a picture of a kid afraid of the dark. My kids like to "pretend" to be afraid just like they pretend the other emotions. Since they do it during the day as well as at night, I can tell they are pretending and so I just say we're not going to pretend to be afraid and they are fine, but they can really get themselves worked up if I let them. I know that if I got all concerned with them being afraid, they would really be afraid because they thought they should be. Does that make sense???? So in general, be aware of how you are reacting to things around him.

ANYWAY!!!! As far as this situation goes, my advice to you is to watch that you are not showing him any movies/tv shows/books where someone is afraid until he is 4-5 years old--even if the situation is resolved. Second, be as calm as possible when he does wake up scared and calmly tell him everything is all right (If you believe it yourself it is more believable to them! :-)). If you tell him there are no monsters, he might not believe you, but if you tell him that you make the monsters stay outside, that tells him that a. you believe him (if he's pretended they are there this long, he probably believes they are there) and b. YOU are in control of the monsters so they cannot possibly hurt him. Talk to him about it throughout the day about how you got rid of all the monsters in the house and told them they had to stay outside from now on...tell him that several times. And reinforce it at night when he says they are in his room...just say calmly and matter-of-factly, "nope, I told them they all had to stay outside." Eventually he'll believe you and stop bringing it up. I don't think you should lay with him until he falls asleep because that tells him you agree that he should be scared. Just calmly tell him everything is fine and leave him at that. Some of it might also simply be him understanding that it brings you back into the room so he really plays it up...

Meet him in "dreamland." I meet my daughter somewhere new every night. The cotton-candy tree, the gumdrop castle, ect. She hasn't had a nightmare in over a year. It's the ultimate cure. Good luck in dreamland. This is also away not to "confirm" his fears by actually spraying monsters; remember they don't exist. :)

Hi T.,
You're doing a great job with accepting your child's fears, because even though mosters don't really exist, children's fears do, and those fears are real to them. Accepting those fears (because they are real to our children), and taking action is the best thing we can do for them. Just remember you're not "confirming" the mosters, but the child's "fear". What you're doing is great! If my son ever developes these fears of monsters, I'm going to try the spray thing myself. That is a great idea! If your son goes to day care, he might be getting these 'monster' ideas from other children. Sometimes children can develope their own idea of monsters as well. Kudos to you T.. I'm really happy to read that you are one of the many parents who accept their children's fears. It's important for us to do so. :-) Best wishes, and I hope your little one conqueres his fears with his new magical monster "go away" spray. :-) G.

I am hoping readers here will be open-minded with my reply - since it's not conventional - lol. There are actually lot of children (including mine) who are "sensitive" spiritually. I also was as a child. He may be reacting to his ability to see/hear/feel energy. 3 of my 4 kids have had detailed experiences. My 8-yo is much like the child in the movie, "The Sixth Sense" and it has been a journey of research, learning, and support for her and our family, as her gifts have unfolded over the years.

It is not uncommon for toddlers to say they are scared or describe lights, voices, spirit energy, and other things as monsters, because they simply have no other vocabulary to use.

I would encourge your child to draw what they see, and to have a special journal. Let them name what they see, and they may surprise you with the detail they can give you. Be open-minded and supportive, ask questions gently and with love. They already feel "scared" and maybe even "different" so they really need to know they can come to you for acceptance and guidance.

There are excellent books on the subject like "The Wise Child: A Spiritual Guide to Nurturing Your Child's Intuition" by Sonia Choquette, "The Sixth Sense of Children: Nurturing Your Child's Intuitive Abilities" by Litany Burns and "Psychic Children: Revealing the Intuitive Gifts and Hidden Abilities of Boys and Girls" by Sylvia Browne. You can find these at www.amazon.com

Our family started a support group (in Tucson) where we meet with other families who are trying to navigate this area for themselves, kids, or just to learn more in general, and it has been a great help to us and all who come!

Some things you can do to help - ask his guidea/angels (we all have many!) to help ease his fears. Go into his room and ask whatever/whoever is there to please not scare your son. Explain that he may be too young to understand them and ask them to leave. It could be relative who has passed on, or a spirit who wants to communicate with your son- because it has sensed (through his reaction) that he can see them. For a spirit, this is like a moth to a flame. Imagine if you were sent to China and no one spoke English. You finally come across somone who does, and you cling to them to help you navigate your surroundings. Spirits are much like this! Some spirits are desperate to "connect" to/with someone. But for your son, this may be too overwhelming at his age. This is what happened to my daughters...until we did what I said above.

You may want to keep a baby monitor in his room and see if you hear anything unusual or can make out conversations he may have. Take picures in his room, you may be surprised to pick up orbs or other unexplained things that you might not personally be able to detect.

Best of luck!!
-C.

There is a book called- Go away big green scary monster- it is a flip book that breaks the monster down to its parts and you tell it to go away- I would try reading that to him and then talk to him about telling his room monster to go away. Maybe you could also get him some sort of comfort object that "keeps the monsters away" Maybe give it to him when you read the book.. toddler fears are so hard cause they are so real to them. I hope this helps- GOOD LUCK!

Or you could even proceed as though there are monsters- and smudge the room with Sage- you can buy sage at sunflower - all you do is burn the sage and walk around the room-- have him there and the two of you can "smudge" out the scary monsters..

My daughter just turned 2yrs old last Thursday and at her doctor's appointment her doctor said to the she may start having issues sleeping saying monsters are in her room. So the good news is, this is something that is expected even if they don't watch scary movies. The doctor's suggestion was to just talk to her about the monsters before bed and reassure her that they won't hurt her. He also suggested to tell the child that the monster's are there like angels to watchover and protect them, and have my daughter say goodnight to them everynight. So I hope this helps and you get some rest yourself.

We got my older daughter some stuffed animals - she chose them. When she gets scared, I take her back into her room and let her pick her "protector". She picks and animal (or 2 or 3) to keep her safe.

This is a phase - I think most kids go thru it. She used to ask me all the time if I thought "bad guys" could get in thru her window. She would have bad dreams. I don't think the dreams are from TV as we didn't let her watch anything. I mean she could watch The Wiggles, Bear in the Big Blue House and that's about it.

Anyway, we told her the animals were there to protect her. She had to snuggle down with the bear (cat, dog, turtle - yes, I said turtle). And the animal would stay awake and keep the monsters/bad guys away and let her sleep.

Also, she has a night light. I don't mean a light bulb one. There are those irridescent ones that give off a slight green glow. She has one of those. That is her protection, too. I'm not sure we told her anything about that as we got it when she was a baby to make life easier for me!! But, between those things she can sleep. She may still wake me up, but when I put her back in bed she goes right back to sleep.

I haven't had this problem, but I heard one parent would use a squirt bottle of water and spray it around the room and told her son it would prevent the monsters from coming in the room or make them go away, it became a game instead of something scary. She'd ask him where the monster was and then spray the closet or wherever else he said.
R.

Hi T.,
I have a 2 year old son who will be 3 in August. I remember him going through the same thing with the monsters. We just told him over and over and over and over that there are no such things as monsters. We also don't let him watch scary movies. Our son sleeps with us so that probably helped in calming his fears.
My suggestion is give him a night light if he doesn't have one already and just reinforce there are no such things as monsters.
Good Luck!
S.

Hi T.,

My daughter went through the same thing with the monster issue.She would wake up crying and would sleep in our bed.I saw something about a spray called "Monster Spray". I looked everywhere to find it. It was very high in price so I found a pack of different colored body sprays at Walmart and I told my daughter that it was monster spray.We used it for about a month.I justed sprayed it where she said she saw them. It sure made she room smell good.Hope this helps you.

V.

Have you tried a night light and a comforting teddy for him to hold onto that will protect him while he sleeps? Also, you can pretend to put special spray all over the room before he goes to bed and make a fancy name for the spray like "super-duper monster killer spray". Grab a spray bottle and have him spray his whole room himself. Maybe that works!!!

Hi T. - Not sure how well you son is speaking to you yet. However, I'd suggest that you ask him what the monsters look like. How he knows they are monsters? Have you acknowledged to him that you understnad that they scare him? Honor his feelings and ask him for the solution. He'll probably have one and it might be that he wants to sleep in your room.... Maybe ask him: What if they are actually there to help him have a good nights sleep?

When my kids were little and I didn't want them actually in bed with my husband and me, we let them sleep on the floor next to our bed - it was kinda like camping for them.

A. McGraw

As bizarre as this is, I have my three year old convinced he has "monster powers". All he has to do to defeat the monsters is put out his hand and "Pow Pow Pow" it, and the monster won't be able to get him. We also let him watch Monster's Inc., which makes monsters nice. We play with his toys and always make them play nice. Things like roaring dinosaurs, we say "Let's ask him to be nice, because even though he looks scary, he's probably really nice."

T.,

I really feel for your son and I felt compelled to write this to you.

Based on what you are saying, he shouldn't have any reason to really be fearful. He has no exposure to scary ideas, themes, etc. Now, it's possible that interacting w/ other children at daycare, in the neightborhood, older kids in the family, etc may have had an influence, but I'm sure you've considered that as well.

I always try to take the position of what it must be like to be in the "shoes" or in the mind of this little person. (I've worked w/ little people as a therapist.) It is helpful to try to put myself in their world. Our world as adults is very different, structured w/ these rules we create for ourselves. This is real, this isn't. This exists, this doesn't. Therefore, we potentially miss out on things that may be happening right in front of our eyes b/c we trained ourselves to overlook it or be less sensitive to it.

I believe children are very sensitive to things we have desensitized to over our years. Obviously, your son insists something is going on in his room. What would happen if you took him seriously? What if he's right? What if he sees things that as adults we're accustomed to ignoring or "not seeing"?

I'm not saying the monsters are real. I'm not saying there are demons or something "bad" in his room. What I am saying is that being sensitive to his possible ability to sense the world in different, unaccepted ways may be the only REAL way to help him overcome this.

I would be inclined to take the approach of listening to exactly what he is experiencing. Go in his room w/ him and have him tell you exactly what he sees, hears, senses... Be strong, even if it freaks you out. Don't invalidate his experience by telling him it can't be happening, there's no such thing as monsters (b/c that's what it is to him no matter what you say), or that it'll all be okay (b/c he knows that's you trying to move him beyond it). Kids are smart and they need their parents to be strong and listen, nod and not agree, but just hear them out.

Then ask him to problem solve w/ you. How can he feel safe in his room? Let him get really creative. Again, the difference between the adult and child worlds. He may need to talk to the monsters (w/ your help), he may need an invisible "bubble" or "capsule" around him. He can draw what he needs and sleep w/ it. Or give something special powers... Get creative and let him take the lead. This is time-consuming, but can be so much fun and effective!

And, if you have any belief in the supernatural or spiritual, you talk to the monsters. Seriously take the time and talk from the heart -- like it's there. Because, really who knows for sure? maybe we just don't have the tools yet to measure whether or not spirit energy exists. If it feels good, ask it to be his guardian angel and help you/him when asked. If you feel it's not positive energy, then ask it to please leave. Maybe do this alone. Never know.

Why not try it all? None of it can hurt.

Best of luck to you. I just felt compelled to answer your concern. It's the therapist and spiritualist in me. :)

M. :)

This may sound kind of dumb... my daughter had this problem and we saw this in a parenting magazine. I made sure she knew I was taking her seriously about the fear first. Then we made "Monster Spray". We went into the kitchen and I let her pick out the color of "Go Away Juice" (food coloring) make it very serious that you can only use a few drops because it's very powerful. Then we mixed it with water and decorated a regular spray bottle that I got at Target. We picked out a special night light and she got to spray her room before bed and keep the bottle next to her bed to spray them in case they got in. I know it's crazy but it worked for her. I think maybe because she knew we believed her instead of telling her there was no foundation for her fear. I hope the monsters go away soon. My daughter is 17 now... she survived :)

Fears like this are very normal at this age. It is a sign that your son has a good imagination. My son is about the same age and recently became scared of an alligator who is apparently living on his ceiling. I just make a big deal of shooing the aligator out the door before I leave (my son helps me) and tell my son that I will make sure the alligator stays in the other room with me. You could even put up a "magic" shield around the door after you shoo them out so that they can't get back in. Be creative. It's all in his imagination, so the more fantastical you make it, the better he will likely respond to it.

Good luck!

ny youngest was also afraid to sleep in his room and he too had monsters living there. i asked him where he first saw monsters that he described. he said he saw them on tv when his big brother was babysitting him. so we put in a small tv in his room and turned it on for a few minutes while we were reading bedtime stories. when the story was over and it was time for him to go to sleep we turned the tv off, therefore the monsters where turned off. You might want to find out where he first saw these monsters and find a way to turn them off. i know these monsters were very real to him.

I got a can of aerosol room-freshener, and covered the outside with contact paper upon which I made a label that said something along the lines of "MONSTER-B-GONE", along with all of the descriptions of the monsters that it would repel. Gave it to the boy, and let him have one pass around the room (and of course the closet and under the bed) before going to sleep for the night.

Then, the can went WITH ME so we didn't "fog" the bedroom if we became a little nervous in the night.

Worked like a charm.