To Take a Trip or Not?

Go! I started taking long weekend trips to my friend's house several years ago. It was the best thing ever! Got to relax for awhile and let the hubby realize all I did around the house.

I don't think there is anything wrong with going but I must say I know I would not go. I have friends that go on a girls wkend every February then do a wk long Caribbean trip every fall. Some day I will will go, but right now I like being at home with my girls and know I would not enjoy myself. (My girls are 10 and 15) I definitely do not think you should feel selfish or guilty and I don't think fear should prevent you from going. Do what feels right for you.

I can't imagine not being able to trust my husband with the kids. If I truly couldn't trust him I don't think I'd stay married to him. Period.

Its your husband and mother so they are in great hands. Go ! Run ! Go before they change their minds ! Really you need it ! Have a ball ! I wish I had the chance.My twins are 7 and we have never had a vacation without them . If I had the chance I would in a second . Its tough being a mother and being responsible for everything . You make the magic happen for everyone . Go and don't feel guilty . You have to take care of your self to be a good mom and wife. Bon voyage !

Go! Life is too short!
Have fun.
Your husband can handle this. I left my 2month old and 2.5yr old with my husband while I went to a conference. He did great. My oldest loved his daddy time.
It is okay. Go and have fun!

Oh I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from! My husband won an incentive trip to an incredible resort in the Caribbean when my daughter was only 14 months old. I cried the entire way there.

But once I got there and had a chill pill (also known as a pina colada), I realized HOW MUCH I needed a break and how awesome it was to actually eat a meal and not wolf it down... how refreshing it was to speak in complete, uninterrupted sentences... and (gasp) how guilt-free it felt to sleep in!

I returned to my daughter rested, refreshed and ready to be a mom again. But for 10 days, I was actually just ME for a change and it was exactly what I needed.

So take the trip with your friend. Shop, eat, drink, enjoy. Five days will pass very quickly and before you know it, you will be on the plane home. And you will be rested, refreshed and ready to be a mom again.

Have a great trip! Go!

Start packing now. Remember women need our girlfriends. What a great opportunity. You are leaving them with their father and your mother, not some college kids. Have fun. Just got back from a girls 4 day weekend.

I took a vaca just my husband and I (he won an incentive trip with his office, all expenses paid including two excursions) went to mexico. My oldest was 4 and my youngest was 11 months. My in-laws came and while I was really nervous (I seriously suggested my husband and I fly on different planes - Just in case) once there, it was amazing. We had time together, played, ate, slept in ahhh. When we got home I cried because my boys looked so precious and I loved them so much, but tears of joy and appreciation.
Go. Have fun. You will be thankful you did.

Go have fun and stop worrying.
Your husband was enough of a grownup to make two kids, he's enough of a grownup to take care of them for a few days.

GO. You need a break from your children (and hubby) occasionally and this is a perfect opportunity.

Truthfully, your children also need a break from you occasionally. No one needs mommy attached to the hip 24/7.

Use this as a great opportunity to go on a girl's trip, let go of your children (you'll have to at some point so start practicing now). Trust that your husband and mother will do just fine with your children in caring for them and developing deeper relationships with them (as they should) while you are away.

You'll come back more energized, refreshed and ready to be a better wife and mom!

I took my first trip away when my kids were 2 and 4. I was a nervous wreck too, thought they couldn't cope, was scared they'd miss me too much, etc. I bit the bullet and went.
I had the most amazing time, and my kids were absolutely FINE with my mother in law, so fine in fact I felt silly for worrying in the first place.
GO, you will come back so happy and refreshed, and your kids will be thrilled to see you.
Happy, secure children do just fine with loving, regular caregivers. It's perfectly acceptable for mommy to take a break :-)

Why on earth would you have children with a man and NOT trust him to take care of his kids?
Of COURSE he can do it.
And of COURSE you should go on a cruise!!
Woot woot. pack up your bags and get outta that house!

Experiences Away Make Us Greatful For What We Have ,Give Us Perspective ANd Renew Us. It Will Give You New Things, Ideas To Share With HubbY. Give Yourself A Reset ANd go.

It is time for you to bite the bullet and go. You sound like you need to get away from your kids so that you can appreciate what you have.

Many times we moms get so caught up in the mothering aspect that we forget who we are a woman first, wife and then mother. Time to get back in touch with you. Five days is enough to unwind and recharge your batteries and give you a new look on life.

The kids will be fine with family members. They will enjoy the break from you and learn something new that they can share with you.

So pack your bag and go. Stop all the worrying. I wish I had done this more when I had opportunities to go places when they were younger. It does prepare you for when they will leave the nest and you are on your own without them.

Don't forget the suntan lotion.

the other S.

PS I am trying to get hubby on the boat in the next year or so.

Oh, I think you should! They will be just fine with your husband and mother. You may not get an opportunity like this again! It's a free trip, right? DO IT!

Go. It's good for you, and it's good for your kids!

Here's why. Children need to feel loved and cared for by a family. They need to know that they have lots of resources. They need to know, under the surface, that if something should happen to someone (God forbid, I know), they will have others there and will be safe and secure and okay.

This can be a great bonding experience for your children and their dad. It can be great for your mother. She raised you, right? So she's probably got a few tricks up her sleeve.

Get a good handle on what you are afraid of. That they won't miss you? That you aren't a good mother and this will prove it? Or that no one else can take care of them but you? What does that say about you and your choice of husbands? Not much! What could happen that is so terrible? That someone won't have the right cereal on hand? That they will make mac and cheese the wrong way and one of the kids will be fussy? So what? That they won't know where the favorite shirt is and one of the kids will have to wear something else? Are your fears more dire? That someone could have an accident? Okay, even if that happened, why wouldn't your husband and mother be capable of taking a child to the ER? Why is this any different than when you are at home?

Here's what I see as the most likely possibility of you making this trip: You will learn to be a grown-up woman instead of just a mom. You will find YOURSELF and not just your mommy-self. You will bond with a good friend. You will relax, which you have not done in 4 years since you had your first child. You will be able to take a shower without someone wanting a glass of juice. You will not have to break up a fight or find a missing teddy bear. You will sleep late and get waited on and laugh and be independent. You will have a good time. That is not a bad thing! It is NOT selfish to need rest and restoration and free time! In fact, it's selfish to neglect yourself and wear yourself out!

Meantime, your children will learn that they can survive without Mommy for a few days. They will be surrounded by people who love them, and who are more than competent. They will learn that Daddy can meet their needs, do their wash, make their meals, and put them to bed. This is GOOD for them and Daddy!! They will learn that being a mommy is hard work and that Daddy loves you enough to give you a rest. They will learn that you are a real person with needs and friends and a life. This is all good.

My stepdaughter just went away for a week with her aunt. She was nervous but found it was liberating and exhilarating. She was not on the phone every day. She told the kids that phones didn't work in Europe where she was traveling. She called ONCE. Everything was fine. She texted a few pictures of her doing fun things and in front of famous landmarks. (The kids didn't understand that pictures came through but phone calls wouldn't!) But she didn't do this every day, and she found that the kids were very settled in their daily routines and having a great life. She came back restored and determined to do this again.

You are not a bad mommy for doing this. You are a good mommy for taking care of yourself!! Please go.

Your feelings are normal, but you are going to have to learn to trust others with their care. These are not complete strangers you are leaving your children with, nor are they new to parenting. Your mother did a fine job raising you, your husband is more capable then you think.

Go and have fun. They will be fine.

Go.

Before you go - buy a new bathing suit, get your nails done. You'll feel fresh and ready for the fun.

Enjoy it!

Go, do not pass Go..
No guilt. This is a gift to your family! It will show them they miss you, but they can survive..

Your children will survive, your husband and your mom will have a great time with the kids.

A Happy Rested mom means a Happy Rested home and wife!

I feel the same way you do, I feel guilty not taking my kids everywhere and letting them experience everything with me.

However, you should GO!!!!!

They will be fine, you will be fine, your husband and mom will be fine.

I hope you go and I hope you have a fabulous time!!!

(If you don't want to go, feel free to pass my information to her :).)

You better go and have a great time, or I'll give you a swift kick in the rear!!!

GO! Your kids will be fine. And the look on their faces and excitement when they see you again is priceless. You wouldn't want to miss that look, would you?

Go!
Seriously. Do it.
For yourself, because you deserve a break.
For your friend, because she loves you enough to invite you.
For your husband and mom, because this shows you trust them.
For your girls, because it will prove mom goes away, but she always comes back.
Is it possible something will happen. Yes. Three years ago, my younger daughter became quite ill while I was traveling in Asia. It was scary and I was sad to not be there for her. But she was well-cared for and recovered by the time I could return to the states. Three months later, I traveled internationally again and everyone was in agreement that, short of imminent death, there was no need for me to rush home if she had a repeat episode. She didn't.

If you don't want to go, I will!

Your mom raised you and whatever siblings you have, and your husband should be capable of doing so as well... Your kids will survive. They may miss you, but that will be your husband and mother's problem! (Lol) you will be able to smother them with love when you get back.

GO!!

i wish young mamas would let go of these terrible bouts of self-flagellation when an opportunity for fun or growth comes along.
you SHOULD leave your kids from time to time. you really should. they need to learn that the world will still turn without mama, and you need to learn that your kids are strong and resilient and resourceful and don't need you to bodily shield and chauffeur them through every daily life event.
their dad and grandma will have them. they'll be fine. they'll have a blast! they might cry for you sometimes. they'll survive it. they'll be happy to see you when you come back.
go. and don't waste any energy moaning or beating yourself up while you're gone.
life is hard enough without us whacking ourselves and each other over the head with guilt clubs.
khairete
S.

Family comes first... IF you are truly satisfied to not go, then don't.... However, if you are someone who needs time away, then that is ok too... do what YOU feel is right for you..

In my case, having surrounded myself with others who didn't have or want kids, I tended to always follow THEIR lead and not my own... Now, with my son being 11, I know all too well that kids grow up quickly.... I enjoy spending whatever time I can with him... Some parents need a break (and that's cool) and/or can't wait for their children to be back in school...not here, when my family and I are together, we have a great time..

Again, do what's best for you.. but keep this in mind.. you say you don't want to let your girlfriend down... that kind of thinking will breed resentment because in your heart of hearts since you don't really want to go and IF you do..... you might have fun, but another part of you will feel like ,. damn why did I do it.... I suggest if you go.. be sure you are totally happy with your decision..

good luck in whatever you decide..

If you don't go, can I take your place.

Go, have fun, enjoy and recharge. What a lucky opportunity for you. I'd do it in a heartbeat. Grandma will be helping out - what can be better?

Go - ENJOY!!!

Lucky you. Go. Your kids will do just fine without you for 5 days. You deserve a break so take it while you can.

Go. You'll have fun. Your mom and hubby will do just fine taking care of the kids. Don't call or skype while you are gone because if something bad happens they'll track you down and let you know. Just enjoy yourself and come back happy and relaxes.

Go. I started taking girls-only trips when my youngest was weaned. It is more selfish of you to cling to them and worry overmuch than it is to have some relaxing fun time to recharge.

I can understand being nervous to leave kids with a sitter or non-relative, but if there is any one person in the entire world who you should be able to fully trust with your kids and not worry at all, it is your husband. With a husband and grandma combo, you shouldn't even need to think about it.

I strongly suggest you leave your phone Off most of the time when you're gone. Limit yourself to 1 call home per day, and your husband and mother should not contact you unless there is a real "in the hospital" emergency.

As my son's gymnastics coach used to say, "It's okay to be scared. It's not ok to let that stop you from doing things." My husband and I left our three little ones (6, 4, 2) for a trip to Italy for six days (this was after 9/11 when airfare was pretty low). Was I scared? Of course! Did we all survive? Yes. They may not have gotten bathed properly and probably had a few too many fast food meals that week, and I know they missed us, but they were fine. My husband and I had a wonderful time, and I would do it again. We have only gotten away a couple of other times since then (12 years!) so I'm glad we made that trip. Don't let your fear or guilt stop you from a nice opportunity. Mommies need some time away. :)

Would the trip be free for you? How do your kids do without you? My son would be devastated without me for that long but other kids do fine as long as their other parent/grandparent/ect is there. If you think they will be ok AND the trip is free, then GO!!

The couple days beforehand, and especially the day of your leaving, you will feel terrible, but once you get on your way, that feeling will dissipate and you'll have a wonderful time. I go through this every time we leave the kids with the grandparents, but by now I know the course of it, and it's always ok.

Yes you should go! They will be just fine...they will miss you but they will adjust quickly. You will have such a wonderful time! My husband and I went away for 6 days to Mexico and left our 2 kids for the first time with his parents. Our youngest was 1.5 at the time. My MIL said she snuggled with her each night. She had a hard time the first night but after that she was fine and went right to sleep. Both kids afterwards told us they had fun...they looked happy...they totally bonded with grandma and grandpa...and they loved the presents we brought back for them! Like you i also felt really guilty and conflicted about doing that trip. I was sooo worried. It all was fine and I am SO glad I did it!

do it
As a mom to an 11 and 14 yr old trust me on this, your husband will learn more about being a parent, your kids will survive just fine, and you will have a much needed break. You are leaving them with THEIR OWN PARENT. Stop thinking of their dad as anything but equal to you in how he can care for them. Again, totally speaking from experience here cause hindsight is 20/20.

Girl, get while the getting's good!

Do you know what I would give to be in your shoes? The only nights I've had away from home since my 1st child was born 6.5 years ago was a 24 hour biz trip, and 2 hospital stays for c-sections. I joke with my sister that I only have more babies so I can get 2 nights off ;-) Every other night I've been home.

Go, have fun, and be thankful that your husband and mother are happy to step up to the plate!

Do what feels right for you. Five days can be a long time, depending on your situation. It would certainly be for me.

I went on a company-sponsored exotic incentive trip with my husband when my son was about 13-14 months. I enjoyed it immensely, but I can't say that I'm glad that I went. I still wish that it had come later. It wasn't about having someone trustworthy to care for him. It was about MY absence and MY parental goals.

If five days doesn't feel right, then it just doesn't. Start off light, with a weekend. Apologize to your friend. She'll be disappointed, but, hopefully, she'll understand. Plan a day or two together (overnight) for your first availability.

Wow, lots of responses! I have a thought that I don't believe was addressed yet. Is this a cruise your friend won from work? If so, no worries. Before you give it any more consideration, please research the trip. Maybe I've heard too much of, "if it seems to good to be true, it probably is." If it's on a major cruise line and there are no hidden fees, go for it If it's not a cruise line you're familiar with, at lease look for it under cruise critic, trip adviser and yelp. I assume you'll still have to pay for your air fare, taxes, gratuity, etc. Just make sure you have all the costs added up that aren't covered. I would hate for you to leave your kids only to be caught up in a scam of some sort.

I'll be the dissenter here. If you've never left them, a 5-day trip is too long, especially for your little one.

No, "something" is not going to happen to you or them if you are apart. Maybe take a day trip to a spa (or to read at a library!) to prove to yourself that you can leave them for a spell.

Yes, your mother and husband can totally handle the kids.

But five days of no mother when someone so young has always had you around? That will be traumatic.

The guilt and nagging feelings you have right now are your mothering instincts telling you to not go. It is okay to tell your friend that this is a bad time for you.

There will be other trips! When it feels right to say yes, then you can go! For now, nurture the ones who need you.