I am going out of my wits, my 12 month old son still will NOT fall asleep on his own. I do not beleive on letting himself cry to sleep. I tried it months ago and all he does is play and cry. He never falls asleep no matter how tired he is. He gets so tired he gets wired and then for sure he doesn't fall asleep or if I put him down too soon all he wants to do is play.
The only way for him to fall asleep is for him to be patted on his bottom or rocked w/a bottle.
I love holding him and cuddling him but during the week my parent watch him while I'm at school and they put him down and there are some night it takes them 2 hrs or so for him to finally fall asleep and when he is with me only when I hold him or if that doesn't work i have to lay w/him and fight with in my bed and then move him to his crib when he falls asleep and it wears us out.
I would recommend the Dr.Sears, The Sleep Book, www.askdrsears.com or the No Cry Sleep Solution. I don't believe in the letting them cry it out either. I have a 17 month old and I can put him to sleep in 15-30 minutes using the routine. I hope this helps, I know it can be frustrating to not get enough sleep.
Try reading the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Weisbluth. I think it is excellent. My son is only 5 months and has no trouble. Sometimes I have to go in and pat his back or give him the pacifier but that is it. I know you say you do not want to let him cry it out, but they may be your only solution now. They say try it for 3 nights and it should work. Also, if this is only at bedtime, you may be putting him down too late at night and he is overtired. It talks about that in the book too. Hope this helps.
Maybe your son is sleeping to long during the day or not exerting enough energy during the day to make him tired.
Hi S.,
Even that you don't believe to let the bb crying and falling sleep is working. I have 2 son, 2 yrs and 8 mn. With the first one, Jordan I didn't believe it and the peditriacian told me to do it since he was 2 weeks, but of course for as 1 st. mom I tried, It didn't work and I wasn't consistence after that, then about 7 months we start againg and the firsts days he cries a lot and I just check on him every 10 or 15 min. and tell him that I loved him but he has to sleep by himself, the crying was better maybe after 2 weeks, I don't remembered. I did the same with the second one, Joshua and sometimes he still crying even during the day nap, sometimes in the day he falling sleep and cries for 5 min. or sometimes is more but no more than 30 min that I am going checking on him and if he stand up in the crib and can't sleep I take him.
It works to have a routine, like taking a shower and then go to sleep, or read to him, to put music, something that he know is time to sleep.
I have a friend that she has a boy that is 2 1/2 yrs. and they still having problems to sleep by himself or they are putting him to late.
Don't let him take nap in the afternoon too late, depends on what time you put him to sleep is the time that he is going to wake up.
Example, if you put him at 8.00 or 8.30 he probably wakes up at the same time in the moorning.
I hope I can help you and he can do better, hearing the scream is hard and a little painful but is going to be just for a short time.
God Bless you and I pray for both of you that he is going to do better and you too.
A.
You might try the Fisher Price Flutterby crib toy. My daughter wouldn't go to sleep on her own, and she'd wake up multiple times during the night. I was going crazy!
She loved to watch DVDs (like Baby Einstein) so I wondered if we put a DVD on in her bedroom when she went to sleep if that would help keep her calm. It worked, but we couldn't get up every time she woke up to turn it back on. So I looked for something that she could turn on herself and found the Flutterby thing. She had the FP Aquarium toy, but it didn't play something on the ceiling like the Flutterby Soother.
She was eight months old at the time and is now 22 months old. She still loves it. It was truly the miracle we needed. I hope you find the solution that works for you!
A friend of mine recommended the video Sleep Tight by Jeffrey W. Hull M.D. You can find it on the web. She said it really helped her. I think she also said the Dr. was available for advise for people purchasing the video. My son is only 5 weeks old, so I haven't tried it yet.
S.,
I really feel for you, especially because I was never a let them cry mom myself. I must say though, I was successful at getting them to go to sleep with out crying, so I know it can be done. I agree that the best thing for us was routine. And, a big change at around 12 months is how many naps they need during the day. I am a childcare provider, and have been for 10 years, and the best thing to do for a good nights sleep is to have a child that is TIRED! Be sure he plays hard enough during the day, easy to do now that the warm weather is here. There have been times that I have sat in their rooms and sang to them, or read extra books, but only if they were laying in their beds. But soft CD's are great too. Of course you know that whatever you choose to do, you cant give in to anything different even once. Children are way too smart for that! 1 year is a tough transition, but he will get better as you work to make the changes that you want! I never made my girls cry it out, and they have always been great sleepers, so do what feels natural to you!
I feel your pain! I highly recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weisbluth. It is about watching for your childs "tired" cues and putting them down in response to their cues. I checkd it out from the library.
We had the same problem with our daughter (who is now 2 1/2 years old). I slept with her until she was almost one and dreaded letting her cry herself to sleep. It came to the point where I just couldn't survive like that anymore and decided to do "sleep training" which basically means letting her cry herself to sleep. It was horrible.... she cried for over two hours. We had a video monitor so I could watch her without her knowing it. It was a rough two weeks. I was about to cave and go to her on the 3rd night but then I thought that would only teach her that Mom or Dad will come to her if she cries long and hard enough... so we weathered through it and she started sleeping well on her own. It took a good two weeks at least. The key is to have a night time routine so that he'll know crib time is coming... and then stick to that routine. Good luck!
Hi S.,
I am a mom of 4 and a Pediatric RN. You are setting the habits for your child. If you want to rock and cuddle him to sleep that is certainly your choice, but it will become the only way he goes down.
Personlly I recommend a night time routine- bath, cuddle, book etc... the put him to bed with a kiss and a "mama loves you" and that is it. Yes he will scream at first, but let ity go. If you keep going back or give in he will learn that screaming gets his way.
My kids have always listened to music, nature CD's, even long books or poetry on tape as they have fallen asleep. I also let them have a couple of books in bed to look at and "read" as they fall asleep.
By 12 months you may want to consider getting him off of the bottle.
I know it is tough! Hang in there!
D.
Is it possible that he's not getting enough to eat? If you are supplementing him is he eating enough at mealtimes? My son weaned himself off of formula and I had to step up with solids at eight months. Which was hard in the beginning but he took to it really well. During that time he had a little bit of a difficulty sleeping because he was dehydrated. I bought big boy sippy cups for him and he was a lot better. I hope that that helps!
I also did not want my child to cry but I tried everything and the only thing that worked was the Ferber method where you put them down and say goodnight, then return in 5 min, then 10 etc.
S.,
I have been there! My 3 year old son always has had trouble falling asleep. He is very hyper and it takes him a long time to settle down. I don't think there are any easy answers to this situation because I have looked for them. The other day I read a article in a magazine where the author has 4 children and she described how her 4th child does not have a bed time routine like the rest of the children and how he often watches Jay Leno with his parents in the bed. I think some kids are just like that...you will have to be patient (which I am sure you are) and creative and try different things until you find something that may work...I am still looking for the trick to put my 3 year old to bed!
