To Hide or to Prep Him - Please Vote!

I'd sit where he can't see me and then see what happens. If he does fine then you know you made the right choice. If he does the same thing then you know he is one of those kids who just do that. Neither is a big deal at this age anyway.

Hope he does great in his next performance.

I have always thought it best to be honest with my children. I say prep, prep and prep some more. Don't make a big deal out of it, just talk about it once a day until the program.

Prep...then hide if needed?

Ask him what he wants. I think he has a right to decide this. If he can perform without you there, then that's better than if he can't.

I learned years ago not to look at my family when I'm onstage, Bumblebee. Not because I'll burst out in tears (LOL!) but because I don't focus well if I notice what they are doing. I intentionally don't look in their area.

My older son didn't want to look at us when he was performing as well. He can't stand to see the unbridled J. on my face, LOL!

Hope this helps!
Dawn

hide

that wouldn't be my normal answer but he's already been scarred so to speak and at 3.5 there won't be alot of prep that would over come that. PLus you told us that he can perform just great with out you there, so if your desire is for him to get up there and do it with a smile, hiding might be best, big hat and glasses lol. if you can't find anything to hide behind.

He's only 3.5! I vote for hide. You can prep when he's older - that is, if he hasn't already outgrown the bursting into tears thing.

When was the last time he cried when you saw him perform? If it was last Christmas when he was 2.5 I would not expect the same behaviour at all! There is a big difference between a 2.5 and 3.5 year old. Prep him.

another vote for prep!

at what point do you think he'd be okay with it if you start hiding? that's not helping him! he'll get over this eventually...and he's 3 1/2...at this age it's still cute ;)

Tempted as I am by "hide" I have to say prep.

Go to every rehearsal (if the preschool will let you -- explain the situation to the teacher and I'm sure they will). Then sit in the same spot at every rehearsal and tell him you will sit iin that same spot at the performance. That might get him used to seeing you there and he will know exactly what to expect. (The only reason the teachers might say no is if they worry that other kids will ask "Why isn't my mom at the rehearsals" but you and the teacher can work out something where you are a "helper" those days or whatever.)

Also ask him to rehearse his songs for you at home daily.Don't press hard or make it a chore, just get him to sing them and be sure he sees your smiling face as he does so.

I think I recall your original post about this issue. Poor little guy. But as someone else noted, if the last time this happened was last Christmas at a program, he might have a totally different reaction this year.

He will be sad as well, if you are not there or "hiding" and the "thinks" you are not there.
I have seen kids, disappointed and sad, because their parents or one of their parents, could not attend. And meanwhile, the child is scoping out the audience, LOOKING for their parent's faces in the crowd.

Prep, your son.
Just let him do his best for what he, is capable of.
If he bawls and cries again, so be it.
He is a young little boy.
Teachers are used to this.

My instincts say to prep. Is there going to be a rehearsal? If so I would prep him for that, see how he reacts, then prep or hide accordingly for the performance with a full audience.

Hide. We go through this every year with our son for various performances. He's 4. He has a performance next week. The school leaves the front row clear for the parent's of the class who will be on stage (so we switch after each performance). We make the mistake of one of us being up there every time and every time, breaks down in tears and comes running to me. I, too am struggling with what we're going to do next week. I should probably take my own advice.

I vote for prep too. It's a hard call and I see why you would consider hiding, but in the end, I vote for honestly and prep work! Would he practice with him on "stage" and you in the audience at home?

hide. when i as 8 and playing softball I was a bit scared at bat. For whatever reason I felt pressure when my mom was watching. Right before I was to bat my mom told me she was going to the restroom and went and hid behind a building. It could be that he wants to do SO well for you that it freaks him out. Come clean afterward and let him know how proud you are. Tell him you only did it so that he would not be nervous. Yes it is a lie. I do not believe anyone who says they NEVER lie. it is total BS. But then you also have a teaching moment then too.

I suggest that his tears were likely caused by anxiety and when he saw you he was relieved and the tears he was holding back started. I'd prep him by talking about how he'll feel anxious and you'll give him a high sign to encourage him.

I responded before, and will repeat my response - prep! If possible, help out in the classroom beforehand to get him ready. While you're doing it, talk up the performance and how you can't wait to see it so that he gets excited, too. I'd really love to know what you decide to do and what happens!

You don't mention in your message if you had asked him why he cries? What has he said? Are you sure its when he sees you or is it the whole audience that he gets scared of.

I would vote for prep just so your son is at ease knowing that whatever he does is o.k. and that you are proud of him.