Tips on Making Kids NOT a Follower & Be a Leader

A child does not need to be a leader nor a follower. I would suggest just teaching self esteem, confidence, independence, kindness and manners.

Personally, I think the bigger issue is NOT becoming a follower.
Your child doesn't HAVE to become a leader.
Not everyone is a leader.
I was always more concerned with fostering independent thinking which leads to NOT being a follower.
Discuss frequently with all of them how & why to think for themselves. Point out choices others make that are unwise. Encourage creative thinking and problem solving.
Don't push the leader thing.

Tae Kwon Do helped my child gain TONS of self confidence. I have boys but if I had girls I think its just as important that they can gain the strength and confidence that comes from this sport.

Overall, I think being a "leader"comes from confidence. In the summers, I would include them in as much volunteering as possible. That also, will make them feel good about helping others thus allowing their "inner core" to grow.

Good luck and kudos to you for thinking ahead.

First of all, the world needs its followers just as badly as it needs its leaders so do not be terribly concerned with leader vs follower, do what you can to avoid raising a sheep (a blind follower). You chose girl scouts so why not the boy scouts for the boy(s)?

We learned a lot from a book called 'Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters'. It specifically talks about girls having good self esteem and how this confidence will guide them on the right path in life.

Good luck!

I would give them more responsibities at home in order to gain confidence. sports or artistic activities will always bring out the best in a child.

If you are confident and clear with your boundaries, they will have a great example. Use every opportunity you can to stand up and be firm and clear with people. Don't shy away from confrontations. Be firm and clear with discipline and praise for them. Talk, talk talk and encourage them to express their ideas. Find good role models for them to emulate-keep them away from Disney garbage etc as they get older. Don't worry about them leading, you just want them to feel good about who they are and not become victims. If you feel good about yourself, and are confident, they will be too.

Give them responsibilities and let them accomplish stuff -HUGE! We met a kid the other day on his dad's farm. he's 5 years old, tackles all his chores without being told, and has NO FEAR about coming up, talking to anyone, and telling people what to do. We were there for a volunteer work day, and he was directing whole families! At 5 years old!

We have to have followers or there would be no such thing as leaders, right? Best thing to do is make sure your kids all have good self esteem so they will find their own niche in the world with confidence.
Lot's of "atta-boys" when deserved, and sports and music lessons are a good start. Teaching them to be curious is a good thing too. Don't let them settle with "the sky is blue just because it is"... you have many opportunities to say to them "wow, I wonder WHY the sky is blue? Let's look it up and find out." If you have a kid that asks "why?" all the time, that is a very good sign..... some are born with a natural curiosity, but some are not.

No leader or follower -Just be who they are and you see them as they and tell them there is no one like them, they are special. All they really need is your love to make them feel secure, independent, & high self-esteemed individuals. First accept them and make it a point to say a lot of positive things everyday. Make them feel they are important, responsible, and compliment them and thank them for choosing you as their mother. Yes thank them for who they are and for coming in your life. If you will see them as timid, lacking in social skills rather than accepting this as their natural desposition, then, you can't expect much from the rest of the world. Right now until they are 18 you are their world. They are perfect as they are. Neither label them or accept any labels from others like shy, weak, handful, whinny, unsocial, .....you get the picture. If anyone comments like that, say that they need more time to get to know others and be comfortable with you. Tell your kids to take as much time they need and that you are there for them! And please don't go in the direction of looking at gender differences. We create boys and girls the way they become. Boys can play with dolls, wear pink, knit, sew, and girls can play with hardy toys and wear blue a lot. Need I say more :)

I recommend books

Discover your child's learning style : children learn in unique ways--here's the key to every child's learning success / Mariaemma Willis & Victoria Kindle Hodson.

How to raise your child's emotional intelligence : 101 ways to bring out the best in your children & yourself / Allen Nagy, Geraldine Nagy.

Best,
-Rachna

I agree with some people who said your children don't need to be leaders. I never really was and have done very well professionally I think bc I am an excellent "soldier". People who want to be leaders are often the ones who get fired at my company bc they are arrogant. So of course you don't want them to be sheep but there's a difference between being independent, strong minded, confident, good at what you do, smart etc and being in charge as the leader. For your timid child, I would suggest martial arts as well. It's supposed to really teach confidence. Perhaps that will lead to him being a leader or it may just lead him to not being bullied which would be just as much of a win.

I agree with the other posts who said its more important to not be a follower.

You don't mention the genders of all your triplets. I would imagine being one of three would be pretty overwhelming at times. If you are the quiet one, the others will speak for you, over you and louder than you. Sometimes its easier to be the "easy" one and just go with the flow. Everyone develops their "role" in the family.

I think the key here will be to figure out something each one enjoys doing without their siblings. You mentioned Girl Scouts for your daughter. Maybe Cub Scouts for your son? Is there a sport he's interested in? I saw Tae Kwon Do mentioned which is excellent since it emphasizes self control which naturally leads to self confidence.

I would continue to encourage individuality and maybe consider separate teachers once they get into 1st grade.