My son is three years old, and we've been having sleep issues of one kind of another for the last 7 months. Now it's the naps. My son takes a 2 hour nap Mon.-Fri. at daycare with absolutely no problem, and he goes to sleep at his usual bedtime without a problem. Weekends at home, however, are a nightmare. He is extremely stubborn and strong-willed, and refuses to lay down and take a nap. We have tried the supernanny technique, rewards, consequences--absolutely nothing phases him. The only way we have gotten him to go to sleep for the last month has been for my husband to hold him in bed--which he hates. Eventually, he will say he's "ready" and will go to sleep, but it can take an hour...or more. He will come up with every possible excuse. His favorite is "It takes too long" even though he is clearly tired.
I am not giving up on his naps. Without them, he is cranky and difficult, and will, at times, have night terrors. He goes down fine at daycare or at home if someone else puts him down (grandma babysitting) and only does this for us. I'm sure it has something to do with him wanting to be awake with us, but we are expecting baby #2 in a month, and need to get this under control. We have had very consistent bedtime routines that have not changed since he was an infant. Any ideas would be appreciated!!
My son is almost 3 and doesn't usually get naps on the weekends just because we're doing so much. I only get Sat and Sun with him so I hate to lose any of that time to him napping.
Its possible your son doesn't want to nap when he's home because he wants to spend time with you since he's not with you during the week.
My first thought is, how much activity is he having on the weekends? Is he REALLY tired out enough to nap? If he's in daycare all week, he probably naps because he's worn out from all the activity he gets there, AND because the other K. are napping. Do you know for sure he sleeps when he's at daycare? Or does he just rest, but fully awake? I'd find out for sure. I have a 3 1/2 y/o and she stopped napping at 2 1/2. There's no forcing the naps, when their done with them, their done, and he could be done. I have two other children, oldest napped until age 6! Middle child napped until 2 y/o. I would also suggest letting him have a 'rest' period, my 3 1/2 y/o brings her blankets & pillow in the living room & rests on the couch for an hour or so. Good luck!
I agree to maybe take on a 'rest time' approach as opposed to actual calling it a nap. I know that you don't want to give up his nap, but he is getting older and it is normal for him to start giving it up. I understand about the cranky 3 y/o attitude for sure, and I think my 3 y/o still needs hers too but it doesn't happen every day. I think there is definitely a transition period between napping and no napping and it isn't easy, but by the time the new baby comes he may (or may not, hopefully!) be done all together with naps. If you institute a rest time that he has to stay in his room for a designated time frame and play quietly you just might be surprised how often he'll nap. I would go for about 45-60 minutes and make sure he has a few toys to keep him busy. Mega blocks work well for my daughter as well as some books and stuffed animals. If he feels like he has control over the rest situation and can decide whether or not he naps it might work better. Plus, it still gives you a little bit of a break. It's not the same, I get it, but it's a start. At first the battle might turn into whether or not he'll even stay in his room during this time, but keep at it and it will work. My daughter is also very independent and we have our fair share of battles, but now she's really good at rest time and chooses to nap more times than not. Good luck! This is hard time, especially when you're pregnant and stressed!
Several points stand out in your story.
1.Your son willingly goes down at daycare or with grandma, but not with mom or dad.
2. You are expecting a new baby in less than a month.
I suspect that having a new brother or sister soon to enter the family is probably causing some concerns with your son. His resistance to only mom/dad at nap time could mean he doesn't want to miss out with time with both of you and is confused about what having a brother/sister really means. Three year olds are not yet thinking concretely and he may be upset trying to sort out what all this means to him and his place in the family.
Some children begin to outgrow the need for napping around his age. Don't know if that is the case, but are my suggestions:
1. Change bedtime routine, he is no longer an infant. You could call it "bedroom time" instead of napping. This means quiet play on the bed with a special toy or book. Set a timer. When it goes off he can come out and join the family.
2. Make sure he is tired. Many families change their sleep/wakeup time on Sat & Sun.Does he stay up later on Friday and sleep in on Saturday? If his clock is reset on weekend, it may be harder to get in a nap.
3. Talk to him about his feelings about the new baby. Have your husband do this in place of holding him down-which is probably very frustrating for the Dad and your son feels this. Assure him OVER and OVER you will love him just as much when baby comes.
4. Stress the priviledge of being the "older" sibling. Come up with things he can do that baby can't do. This makes him feel more empowered.
Good luck and happy birthing!
J. Clark, MA Parent Educator
www.janadaclark.com
http://facebook.com.clearpatheducation
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Many children at this age seem to take on their "big kid's attitude". Thinking they are too big for a nap. But I was surprised that he will still lays down at a decent time at night during the week after having such late and long naps. You are lucky there! There are some tips to laying down a toddler for a nap and also night terror issues as well at http://www.toddlerbedandmore.com/toddler_tips.html I feel these may help your problem.
When I was preggers with my 2nd child, my daughter was 3... and turned 4 a tad after I had my son.
My daughter would still nap, at that age.
What I did (being pregnant), is I would spend a TON of time on her... 'explaining' in kid terms that "Mommy has to rest... to take care of my tummy..." etc. I included her into my pregnancy. It was not about me being pregnant, but her gaining a sibling. We would nap, TOGETHER at the same time. Even if that meant, me on the sofa, and her on the floor next to me. I incorporated her INTO my needs for rest/being pregnant.
AND I let her 'bond' with her baby brother in my tummy... she'd sing to my tummy, talk to my tummy, I'd take photos of her with my tummy each month or whenever she wanted. That way, 'my' pregnancy was special to her, too.
I am just saying in a roundabout way, what I did with my eldest, per naps, per my being pregnant, and she was that age.
And it helped.
I also explained, that even after her baby brother comes home... 'we all need to rest....' and have naps etc. So that, she 'knew' what was going on etc. So that, once her baby brother DID come home... she'd 'know'... what the routine was. With her, and with me and with baby brother.
I also explained that babies nap, too.
The thing is, yah, your son probably does not want to miss out on anything, being home with you guys on the weekends. But he is displaying tiredness and crankiness, per not napping.
So MAYBE if you 'explain' to him... like I did to my daughter... he will understand and not be so resistant.
It worked with my Daughter, when I was pregnant.
Then, once my 2nd baby did come home after being born... I STILL had a REGULAR nap time, everyday and 'our' routine. My daughter would then nap in the afternoons... when it was her baby brother's afternoon nap time. This was also after, my Daughter came home from Preschool.
I would nap too. I needed it. I explained all of that... to my Daughter. While I was pregnant and about how it will be after her baby brother comes home.
You can, explain things to a 3 year old.... in a way he will/can understand. So that he is prefaced about it all... and what is going on. Per your being pregnant as well, and for after your new baby comes home.
Explain it to him now... not after the fact.
K., need a head's up. Otherwise they do not 'transition' well, nor adjust to the new baby, after.
all the best,
Susan
I work at a daycare so I am an expert on the 2 hour nap =0)! But, I also have a strong willed 3 year old boy & a 3 month old baby boy so I completely understand the issue! Well... hate to say it but #1 anything forced will NEVER work. With my son I just have to let him tire himself out on the weekend, it's not worth the war, he does the same thing @ daycare he has a nap just fine but thats b/c they learn there that they have no choice & it's not mommy & daddy so they listen! I would fight w/ my son & fight w/ my son till I was exhausted & I needed the nap myself. Now I turn on his tv to childrens cartoons or the cars movie (his favorite)& he will go to sleep on his own in about 20 mins. Rest is better then nothing & it's sure better then the fight! Good luck!!!!!!!
with our daughter, she doesn't have to sleep, but she has to lay quietly in her bed for the 2 hour nap period. This helps her to get at least a little rest, and usually she falls asleep.
It also helps if we wear her out before naptime. When it's nice out, we like to take a walk or play outside beforehand.
Stop calling them naps -- rename it rest time. You don't have to sleep but there are a couple of rules: no talking, no being noisy, and no echoing around. Just lay on your bed and rest. Let him look at books but enforce the rules: quiet. He'll be asleep before you know it. My grandkids refuse to nap at home because Mama calls it nap. However they always take a 2-3 hour "rest" at my house.
I don't have any suggestions, but you should feel "lucky" that he still naps at all! My son gave up his nap at 26 months and has never looked back! It was pretty difficult at times when #2 came (he had just turned 3), but I got lucky in the respect that I could put on a TV show (usually Nick Jr with Backyardigans, Diego, etc) and catch an hour nap with the baby.
I guess the only thing I can suggest is to push his bedtime earlier on the weekends to account for his lack of nap, then leave his schedule the same during the week. Try for a couple weekends and see how he does, then you can go from there. Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution has a sleep table that says that 3yo need 12-13 hours of combined night/nap sleep, so if he's getting all of that at night, he should be fine. My son at 3 slept from 8:30-8:30, so he got his sleep all in one chunk :)
I know that may not be much help, but there are 3 things parents absolutely cannot force a baby/child to do: eat, sleep, and poop!!!
My first reaction is that it sounds like it's directly related to number two being on the way. He's probably scared of losing you! Have you tried presenting it as a quiet time with mom or dad, reading together and making it a special time for the two of you? I understand it's really frustrating and you need a break. I've been there. But maybe if you remind yourself that this is your time with your son, and he really needs reassurance right now, maybe you can figure out a way to make it a sweet time that will be relaxing and comforting enough for him to fall asleep. Congratulations on your new baby!
Just looked at one response, and agree with it.. re-name the naptime to rest time. Also tell your son he doesn't have to sleep but must lie quietly for at least an hour. Put on some quiet music (most daycares use this, so it will 'click' with him I'm sure). Another idea is since at daycare he is likely resting either on a cot or a mat, get something similar and put it in one of your other rooms... living room, family room or somewhere that is out of the way, yet stiil where he knows you are around... and have him rest there. Do sit with him for the first five minutes or so, but don't allow him to make that a time that he is playing with you. Simply sit beside him, maybe rub his back if that's comforting to him. Put your hand on his back or tummy lightly to simply help him lie still, and wait for him to settle and begin to be drowsy. He'll likely try to play all kinds of 'games' to keep himself awake, but if you can encourage him to lie still long enough, sleep will most likely take over.
Three eyars old is a common age for K. to drop naps. My older son stopped at 3 & my younger son stopped close to 2 yrs. As another person responded, he may not be that tired out & need to sleep on the weekends or, like another, he misses you & wants to be w/you as much as possible. I'd say try to skip the naps on the weekends & then just put him to bed earlier than usual. If he usually naps about 2 hours, then put him to bed 2 hours earlier. I did this w/both of my boys& it worked out well. Or make sure you really tire him out in the late morning in the hopes that he will nap in the afternoon. I know w/another one on the way, you realy want him to continue napping but it may just be that he's done w/napping.
