I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who we have routinely put down for a nap after lunch. She started going to preschool this month and is in school on Mon., Wed., and Fri. afternoons. On the days she's not in school (and on weekends) we still put her down for a nap. Most of the time she will go to sleep, but sometimes she doesn't. Believe it or not, up until about a week ago, she would always stay in her bed during nap time, even if she didn't actually fall asleep. About a week ago, she has started getting out of her bed and playing with her toys instead of going to sleep. She did the same thing today, after I specifically told her to stay in bed. My question is how far do we go with forcing her to take a nap? I'm a little upset that she disobeyed and got out of bed when I told her not to, but I'm wondering if maybe I'm being unrealistic in my expectations. She stayed in her room and was very quiet....I didn't even realize she had gotten out of bed until I went to get her up and her toys were not in the same place they were when I put her down. She was in her bed when I went into her room. Do I discipline her for getting out of bed? Do I try and force her to take a nap? Or is it to the point where I should consider it "quiet time" instead of "nap time" and not worry about it as long as she is quiet and stays in her room (to give mommy some quiet time)?
Thank you all for the support. I knew she was outgrowing the naps, but I guess I wasn't ready to let them go! :) Today I put her in bed as usual, but I gave her a couple books and explained that it was time to be quiet for awhile. She was actually in there and quiet for 2 hours! I knew she would do well and it is a relief to me because it's one less power struggle!
T....
I say its time to change over to quiet time. Be thankful that you have had this long with nap time! Both my boys stopped taking naps at 2!
As long as she is not a grouchy girl later in the day, she should be fine without a nap.
K.
It is probably time to stop taking naps. You have been lucky to have had her taking her taking naps this long.
My son stopped napping at 2 1/2. If he took a nap, he'd be awake until midnight (no matter what I did). I realized that this was the time to end naps. It sounds like your daughter is about to out-grow it as well. Quiet time is realistic and fine. Good luck!
Hi T.,
I've been through this. 3 1/2 is when many kids stop taking naps. If she will play quietly in her room, that is great! It gives her some down-time/quiet-time, gives you a break and doesn't cause a power-struggle. The nice thing about losing naps is that bed-time gets easier. :)
Consider yourself lucky! All 3 of my kids quit taking naps at 2! My youngest is 23months, so I'm crossing my fingers it lasts a little longer! I'm guessing your quiet times are almost over! Enjoy reading books or playing paperdolls, or some sort of toy designated for the quiet time. We do that with specific books for the car....they stay in the car, never come in the house with us, so the kids look forward to reading them when we go places!
I would say that it is time to transition to quiet time and thank your lucky stars you got to this point with napping!
:)
I have three and while the baby is still little (14 months) the other two were done at 24 months and 18 months and the baby is not a good napper at all so I would guess she will be done early as well.
I have always imposed an hour "quiet zone" per day because it helps me keep my sanity. Even now that the kids are older I still send them to their rooms to read for an hour if they are home from school. That is my time!
ohmygoodness
my children stopped regularly napping around 18 or 20 months!
I never imposed the deliberate quiet-time thing, but I've read that it can be a fabulous rhythm-builder for a child (and you've got it right in the after-lunch spot that the books I was reading recommend) ...
and there will be times when she grows, or is on the edge of sick, or is especially tired (if she starts a regular academic school for kindergarten, you'll see a lot of that), when that quiet time naturally becomes a nap (definitely my kids still nap, sporadically)
hope that helps ...
I agree that quiet times would be a logical expectations. We cannot MAKE anyone take a nap. Have you tried to lay down to take a nap and found you couldn't get to sleep and the longer you lay down trying to be still the more antsy you became? I have and so has my daughter and grandchildren.
A quiet time sets it up so that she can take a nap if she needs one. Even if she doesn't nap she has a break and is able to rest. It also gives her some control over her own body. When we try to make anyone, even adults, do something we are setting ourselves up for the possibility of a power struggle. We should have rules and expectations as well as consequences. I just think that when the rule demands the person to do something that is related to developmental readiness or experience (or lack of readiness or experience) we cannot expect obedience.
I suspect she doesn't do enough in the morning to cause her to be tired. Does she nap at preschool? Preschool routine may have changed her sleep cycle.
My grandson, also head strong, stopped naps at home around age 3. He did the quiet time at preschool but seldom napped there. He's 5 now and his day care provider has him taking actual naps again. He has morning Kindergarten. Because she has younger children who do take naps she required that he be quiet. The whole house is quiet. The provider reads. He would go to sleep while playing on the floor.
He'll now take an afternoon nap at home. When he's with me his eyes get sleepy around 2 which gives me the clue to suggest he take a nap. He gets in bed on his own. Because I'm Grandma he asks me to lay down with him which I ususally do. If I don't lay down with him he still stays in bed and goes to sleep.
I can relate to having a headstrong daughter. My granddaughter is the 4th generation that I've experienced of head strong children. (Great Grandma, Grandma, Daughter, Grandaughter)
Consider it quiet time. If she needs a nap, she'll sleep. Otherwise, playing quietly in her room in completely acceptable. I've had friends whose children gave up naps at 2, so consider yourself lucky.
Hi T.,
I also have a 3 1/2 year old. He hasn't taken a nap consistently for about a year. I never force him to nap, but we do have a quiet/nap time for about an hour in the late afternoon. He usually plays quietly with his toys and sleeps 11+ hours at night. You might try moving her nap time.
My son often will nap in the late afternoon(3 o'clock) for an hour. Any more than that and he won't settle down well at bedtime.
Good Luck,
S.
Oh my, you are so blessed to have a little girl who will stay in her room and be quiet. I am going through the transition with my 3 y/o and it would be great if she would stay in her room on those days when she won't nap. I could have my quiet time be quiet!
I think there is a point at which it needs to turn into quiet time instead of naps. If she is a happy girl and doesn't seem to need more sleep, she should be good to go on quiet time instead of naps.
My son is just over 3, and a few weeks ago he rebelled when it was nap time...I told him he had to sit in bed and read books, and after reading a couple of books, he fell asleep (with a book still in his hand) for an entire week...that passed, and now he is back to taking a 2 hour nap no problem. I think that at 3.5, your daughter is likely ready to give up her nap, particularly if you are sending her to preschool in the afternoon three times a week - I think that it is unrealistic to think that she will not nap on those days, but when you have her at home, that she should. There will always be exceptions - perhaps on weekends if she is really tired, she will want the quiet time and even a nap, but in general, if she is not expected to nap at preschool, it seems that she should not be expected to nap at home either!
I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and she quit taking naps a year ago. You are so lucky. Quiet time is nice too !
I think it's time to institute quiet time. That's great if she stays in her room! My son still naps but the other day he got out of bed and I heard him so I went in to see what he was doing. He told me he wanted to play blocks. I just said, "okay, but it's quiet time right now so you have to stay in your room and play quietly. If you feel like going to sleep go ahead. You have to stay in your room until Mommy tells you it's time to come out." I just planned on trying for 40 minutes . . . after the noise settled down I peeked in on him and he was tucked in bed! If she needs to sleep she will sleep but, unfortunately!, you can't force her to sleep. Good luck!
She is completely developmentally appropriate. Just keep up the quiet time, for your sanity more than anything. Continue with the expectation that she stay in her room and quiet. You may also have to be quiet as well- so no busy cleaning or TV during that time for you either.
When my son gave up naps around 3 I was not consistent on a quiet time schedule. He drives me nuts when I need some quiet time now. Be consistent and know that your little girl is growing up.
Quiet time is good enough. Let her know that even though she tried to fool you she didn,t suceed and you are disappointed in her choice to try instead of just talking with you about it.
I am so glad you asked this question - I have been wondering about the nap thing too - my son is 3 today and he sometimes takes naps and sometimes doesn't. Thank you for asking. I look forward to reading the messages.
Our daughter started fighting naps at 2 years old by 2.5 she was no longer taking naps but was required to have quiet time in her room. At 3 when her brother moved into her room and started taking naps there (we only have a two bedroom townhome) she was then required to have quiet time downstairs with me where she either; colors, plays play-doh, plays with her littlest pet shop... She is now 3.5 and definitely does not nap really at all. Sometimes she falls asleep downstairs on the couch or the chair for a short while but it is not very often. Just be firm on the quiet time My daughter knows well that she needs to be quiet for at least 1 hour while our son is sleeping. Best of luck.
It is about that time where they will start transitioning out of taking a nap. I have a 3 1/2 year old too. I have a friend with triplets that are 4 1/2 and stopped taking naps on a regular basis.
Having started preschool, she is probably realizing she has a bit more control over what she can and cannot do. I have had my son stay in his room for quiet time, so I could get a break. He still gets pretty tired and cranky and has to go to bed earlier.
The way I see it, this is a developmental stage, and as long as they are not breaking rules or doing anything dangerous, discipline is not going to be productive.
Most kids will give up their afternoon nap between ages three and four. I personally believe that although a child will give up naptime when they are ready, that mom can and should enforce an afternoon "quiet time", for the benefit of the child and the sanity of the mom. Choose a set amount of time that she should stay in her room, and give her different activity options (looking at books on the bed, drawing quietly, listening to quiet music, etc.) If she has trouble staying in her room, think about adjusting the amount of time, or give her something to look forward to afterward if she follows quiet time rules
She doesn't need a nap at her age anymore. Sorry to say. It is a sad day when naps stop.
So far each of my kids have given up their naps by the age of 3 max. I'm thinking your daughter is there too. Lots of parents do a daily "quiet time" with their older kids, but just be realistic about the length of time a 3-yr-old can play on her own. Quiet time could be something you have her do in an area close to you as well. I've done this with my preschoolers by just giving them a little stack of their favorite books and making a little "nest" for them to sit quietly on the couch while I make dinner or something. This could be a solution for you if you think she's lonely in her room by herself.
It's hard when kids give up naps because mom misses the time alone, but also realize this opens up opportunities to you that you maybe didn't have for a while, such as going out in the afternoon and not having to worry about being home for a nap, etc.
Blessings,
J.
