Three Year-old Is Always Asking, 'Why?'

My grandson is 4...... he STILL does that! We make him formulate a full sentence for the question... "Why does her scalp have nerve ends?" Things like that...

He still asks all the "why" questions.... we have resorted to just saying "Z" .......

His response now... "Don't say 'Z'!!"

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You can repeat the question back to him, "Why does her scalp have nerve endings or why does it hurt?" By repeating it back to him, it will push him to think more about his question. This will probably lead to more questions, but eventually they will be more specific than "why?" and then you can have a conversation instead of feeling like an encyclopedia.

Try turning the question back on her....
You : Don't pull your sister's hair
Her : Why?
You: Why do YOU think that you shouldn't pull her hair??
Let her think about it...use it as a teaching moment....whatever the question is....
If she asks why the grass is green...talk to her about how the grass gets it's color. Take her questions seriously...she is trying to get her brain wrapped around things.
Have a real discussion with her...don't just tell her "because I said so"...( I know I was guilty of that a LOT when my children were young, I understand that it CAN get in your nerves!!!)
She will be out of this stage before too long and you will have some really great conversations with her as she passes through it!!!

I've started charging for my services. (I'm not joking, if someone in my family or close circle wants and Aunt R. Why Visit, I get babysitting out of it.

I can get a kid out of the "why" phase in 2 days flat.

I answer EVERYTHING. In extreme and excrutiating detail down to visual aids and field trips. When I don't know the answer, it's research time! And they're right there with me researching it.

Each "why" is a 1-2 hour long answer.

((Y'all have seen my posts on here, really, I'm being brief.))

In my experience most of the time kids don't actually WANT to know "why". What they're saying is "Pay attention to me."

If you actually stop and ANSWER ALL THE INS AND OUTS of "why", they've just gotten that "wish" that they don't really want IF what they're saying is "Pay attention to me". If they REALLY want to know, they'll listen, pay attention, ask questions... and the reeeeeeally long answers get them to start thinking up reasons it might be / thinking for themselves.

So it's win/win. They only ask if they REALLY want to know, and if they really want to know, they usually aren't doing things they shouldn't... because they're working out cause and effect on their own.

The "short" answers are like (in my observation) how we feel when they run up and hug us and go back to playing. It's a "happy pill" for a moment, but it doesn't hijack their plans for the near future. They can keep asking why until they're done (and have our attention) and the moment they want to do something else, they're off. AKA why so many kids say "Why" for exactly 15 minutes straight. It's entertaining to them, not educational. And because it's just entertainment... they retain exactly none of it.

So change the game. Make it educational. Don't get me wrong, that can still be fun/entertaining (don't make it boring!)... but stop being the lightswitch that's fun to turn on and off and on and off just because they're bored and want attention.

My key phrase (that my family friends borrow) is "Do you REALLY want to know?"

They can "why" you to death. That's how the phrase "Because I said so" came to be!

I am 43, I still ask why.

Why do you ask? :p

i HATE THIS my almost 3 yr old JUST started this and after a few whys i say because i said so and she stops

Hi 'clarified' mom-

Infants spend their 'vocals' with "WHAAAH!"

Toddlers spend their time saying "NO" ...(or hearing YOU say no!...lol)

Threes to fives ask "WHY's" (just the nature of the 'beast')

After that (5 to teens and beyond...) the questions become fewer...yet MORE difficult to answer...and way MORE powerful!!

I would take an 'annoying' "why" over a HUGE philosophical question any day...

And then again...maybe not...lol

BUT...be prepared!!

Best Luck!
michele/cat

It's good they ask why. Remember they're new to this world and need to learn things. My 11yo granddaughter still asks why and I'm glad to answer her when I can. lol Many times she has to look up the answer.

What drives me "crazy" is when she asks why over and over when I tell her to do or not do something. My answer rarely coincides with her way of thinking. lol

You could try to declare a why free hour for some relief.

After your addition explaining what sort of why you're talking about. I've stopped answering those kind of whys past the because it hurts her. The child isn't wanting to know why. He is wanting to pull sisters hair. The questions are a form of manipulation, taking your mind off the real reason for the conversation, ie do not pull your sister's hair.

I love the inquisitive nature of my eight-year-old. She started at about 18 months and never stopped. She is so bright. I hope that your child never loses that ambition to learn.

My kids didn't go through a continuous why phase for very long. It's just a bad habit. My son had a friend who would drive me insane with "why" for the most ridiculous things that didn't merit an explanation, like "Why is there an envelope on your table?" If they're asking "why" when you've told them to do something, giving an explanation is teaching them that they can and should question your authority rather than obeying. The dialogue should go more like this:
"Tyler, please don't pull your sister's hair."
"Why?"
"Tyler, do NOT pull your sister's hair, ever."
"Why?"
Tyler is now escorted to the timeout chair facing the wall for three minutes.

It's one thing to ask intelligent questions like "Why do birds build nests?" and "why are there waves in the ocean?" and "Why can't babies talk?" but that's entirely different than the bad habit of asking for justification of a directive given by a parent. Giving him an explanation when he asks, "why?" encourages him to continue doing it, rather than getting him to stop. You are feeding into the behavior.

Hopefully a lifetime!

Yup. We used to get questions like:

DD: What is her name?
Me: Anna.
DD: Why?

How do you answer a question like that? "Just because" or "Because her name is Anna" become the only possible answer.

My DD is almost 5 and doesn't do this nearly as much as when she was 3 turning 4. We'll see what my 2yo does...

I'll trade you. Instead of "Why?", mine says "What?" all day long. She hears just fine, we had it tested, it's her version of why, but I catch myself repeating things over and over because I think she has missed something...sigh. I think it lasted a few months with my son. Sometimes asking him what he thought about it slowed him down. GL!

I ALWAYS answer a question with a question!!!!!

Questions like "What do you think?" or "Why do YOU think that is?" Encourage them to THINK for themselves AND provide YOU with some entertainment and insight into how their little minds work (Not to mention save you from telling them all about their tongue when they were pointing at their teeth)

The only downside is that when YOU ask a dumb question like "what are you doing???" is that you're going to hear "What do you THINK?" coming back at YOU.....

Oh GOSH do I remember those days! It will end, probably before you want it to.

The other night my 17 year old asked me if a navel orange was still "good" - before he even cut into it. Now how on earth would I have known that? Can I peer through the skin of an orange with my X-ray vision glasses?

All the guys (including my husband) ask me how long to microwave things, as if I have some sort of built-in calculator in my head.

So in some ways it doesn't end . . . :P

PS: My favorite answer is "now what if there was not another person on earth to answer that question? How would you figure out what to do?"

It's part of his job description. He has to ask so many "why?" questions per hour of wakefulness. I'm sure that's factual.

Some of it is real curiosity. Why does the sun come up? Why did the kitty die? Why is Grandpa bald? So you bone up, of course, so you can do a little educating.

I think some of them, though, are a game. If you say "Why?" to absolutely everything Mama says, she gets crazy and does some really interesting things. What power! You don't have to play that game.

5 1/2 and still going here. If I'm out of answers I just tell him because why has a long tail! :)

I don't think all kids go through this, my son will be 4 soon and he only asks why to understand his world, such as "Why did my sticker wash away"? In your example, I would not talk about nerve endings since how can he possibly understand what those are. Is he getting attention for bad behavior? Sounds like he is trying to engage you in what seems more like an annoying habit then him really wanting to know. I would say "It hurts your sister and makes us sad when you pull her hair on purpose. It is mean, and you have to stop". If he does not stop then you have to discipline him not play his games. Do not answer his why questions more than once if they are like the ones you mentioned.

It's because they are in their normal stage of learning & development.
While it drives us crazy, it is the normal process of growth.
I answer the question in as few words as possible (abt 3 words).
If he asks why again, I explain it a different way using different words.
About 3 times and he's done. Moving onto another thing that has caught
his interest.

I always told my kids because I said so!!! And if they did it too much I would tell them they would be in trouble if they asked why again!!!!!!

Clar,

see my other posts within the last 3 months, i wrote about this.
She remembers and USES the last 3 words you say.
she can't process the word 'don't' yet.
so use what she can.
be gentle with your sister.
be gentle with your brother.
demonstrate how. literally.
give them alternate suggestions: give your sister a hug!

good luck,
M.