Thoughts and Prayers Please

So sorry.
Give him time. He needs to get his mind around the results even more so than you do.

I do agree that Oct. seems a bit far for a newly found problem. Maybe after a few days you can broach the subject of getting another test at the end of August in stead of waiting til Oct.

Yes you have medical POA, but to me that is more for if there is a problem and they can't get his approval. To use the POA for this seems overstepping.

When all is said and done it is still Peter's decision on how and when to proceed. Please give him that. For now.

When did he have this most recent PET/CT?
If it has been in just the past few days, give him a little bit more time to process it. He may be a little "stuck" right now...

If it has already been 2 weeks or so since he heard the results, then I agree with Krista P about how to approach it. (with his consent, and presented as a consultation with his physician so that YOU understand what is going on as well).
Blessings to you both.

Dear God,
Please help our Sister Michele. Please send her strength to cope and the ability to find peace and to move forward. She has been so kind to all of us here, we would like the same bestowed upon her.

Please help Peter and Michele find their way together and to enjoy every moment they have left in Your Light.

(Thinking bout you girl!)

:)

I am truly sorry. I will say prayers for you and Peter.

May God's healing hand touch you both.

I'm not following your mention of medical power of attorney - that only gives you control IF he can't communicate his wishes.

My advice, since you asked for suggestions is to let him process this - give him some space. You didn't say how recent this is, but it sounds like he may just need some alone time to think about how HE feels (you know us guys, never in touch with our feelings).

I'll keep you both in my thoughts. :)
______________________________________
You fear that he may choose to not pursue treatment. That is just fear. It is a fog that appears real, but it's not. You can choose to indulge your fear, and sit and think about it all day - but it only affects you. What I mean by that is that it's like sitting in a rocking chair - might feel like you're moving, but you aren't going anywhere except back and forth.

Also, Peter may choose not to have more treatment. That's his choice. It certainly impacts you, and you will have a voice - sadly we can't force our will on others.

I know this is a tough time, and I wish I had a magic wand to make him all better - but a saying I've heard helps me keep my head at times like this - - when you find yourself walking through hell, keep walking! (i.e. keep moving to the exit, don't let fear immobilize you so that you have to spend any extra time there).

So very sorry for the latest news. Prayers that all is well in October, and comfort and peace until then. A dear friend just went through the same thing, it was months before they did a second PET, I do not know the reason why it's done this way, but we trusted the doctors to know what they're doing as they do this on a daily basis.

Not talking can be a part of grief, and coming to terms with the news. It could be denial, it could be shock, it could be a feeling of being overwhelmed. Don't rush him, if he's like some people he may never want to talk about it, his choice and his way of dealing with this blow. Hopefully he will want to share his feelings soon.

And, as far as "power of attorney," it does not go into effect until and unless he is unable to communicate his wishes for his care and treatment, verbal or written, not before or until. In some cases it never becomes necessary, as the person remains in control of their mental capacities.

If he chooses to do nothing it is his wish and his choice, you have no choice but to accept it, as much as you may disagree with him, this isn't about you, it's about him. Been there, done that, it isn't easy, it just is what it is, being there for the one you love, through whatever life brings.

{{HUGS}}

I wish you the best and I will be praying for you!

I'm so sorry that you are going through this again. You beat it together once before, so you know that you have the fortitude to do it again!

Give him a few days to process this information. He must be in complete shock. I would STRONGLY suggest that you get a second opinion, not for the diagnosis but for the course of treatment. October IS really far away.

You have Power of Attorney, so exercise it but with his consent. Let him know that you are scheduling a consultation with the oncologist because you would like to hear the information first hand. If he would like to join you, great. If not, that's his choice. After you have a chance to speak with the doctor and ask his reasoning behind waiting, you may feel more comfortable in forcing the issue.

Prayers and thoughts with you.

So sorry to hear this! It must be very stressful for both of you. :-(
I have found that generally, men need time to process their feelings before they can articulate them. Talking about his feelings will probably NOT make him feel better, as it would for you or me. Let him have some time to do "guy things" like hobbies, watching sports, or hanging out with his buddies so he can feel supported and capable of facing this. Let him know you're not going to push him, but ask him to please let you know when he's ready to talk to you about it.
Then go hang out with your closest female friends so that you can get the emotional support that YOU need right now.
And then the hardest part... DON'T bring it up again to him. Really. He won't forget, even though it may seem like he's pretending everything is fine. That's normal. Wait until he brings it up--he will talk when he is ready. If you push him, it will make him more reluctant and it will likely take LONGER for him to talk. When you really need to talk, and have the strong urge to ask him about it... call a supportive friend instead.
I know it's hard--for both of you.
You have my prayers.

I'm sending one million big pink prayer bubbles of health, strength, and solace.

So sorry that ya'll are going through this Michele. Such tough stuff. You are in my heart and thoughts, truly.

I'm sorry you're going through this Michelle.

Bottom line: his body, his decisions.....
Express your concerns and ideas but it is up to him.

Going through this with a dear friend battling cancer right now....I know it's hard.
Hang in there.

prayers & thoughts sent your way....

this has truly been a difficult week for many of us. It's like the reverse of Christmas Joy.

I think you have a good handle on where his emotions are right now, & I also think you understand what is driving you. I wish you both Peace & Patience.

I am so sorry.

Give him some time to process this.

I will say prayers, of course.

Sending you healing thoughts & hugs.

Hi Michele,
I'm so sorry for the news. Try to be understanding & patient with him. I know that us loved ones & caregivers try to rush the cancer fighters into battle, but remember how strong they must be for everyone & for themselves. It is so much more than I could ever imagine. I can't imagine trying to conjure that much strength, or that I would ever find it. It's double hard when you've been there before, I'm sure, because he knows what he faces.

Let him digest this for a few days. Keep your frying pan put away for now. Just be the support & love he needs. :)

And my prayers are with you.

Hi, Cat:
When someone is going through a life threatening disease, he/she shuts down emotionally.

Foxes in the Vineyard:
In relationships, many people discover what Solomon calls the "little foxes that are ruining th vineyards" (Song of Solomon 2:15). These are the things that will steal the fruit of love before it has a chance to be enjoyed.

If you want to taste the delicious fruit of romanticc love in your relationship, then you'd better pay close attention to those things that are nipping your love in the bud. For many, these "foxes" include:

*Wrong priorities
*Young kids who wear us out.
*Teenagers who won't go to bed.
*Financial pressurees.
*Changing seasoons of a relationship.
*Poor health.
*Crowded Schedules.
*Unrealistic expectationns.
*Critical Spirits.
*Unresolved conflict.

You stated you didn't go with him to the appointment.
Your behavior of not going has affected him. He MAY have lost trust in you and wonder if you really care about him.

Just my interpretation of what you wrote.
Good luck.
D.

I'm really sorry. My husband acted the same way after being diagnosed with Lupus. His mortality slapped him in the face and it was/is hard. Give him a LITTLE time. Support him, spoil him, love him... But keep talking and do what you have to do to get a 2nd opinion. I agree, October is too far off. He should retest now. Sending postive thoughts your way.