This Is So Frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a good step toward training. I actually prefer to change my daughter standing up. Start changing him in the bathroom, dump solid waste in the toilet, wipe him bending over, then flush the wipes. This will get him used to doing bathroom activities in the bathroom. Maybe switch to pull ups too, so it's easier then using the tabs to get a diaper on?

I think this is the age every parent dreads because they hate the diapers and never want to learn to use the potty either...AND IT'S SUCH A PAIN. My best advice is when you have a little extra cash, go and guy some cloth training pants...buy at least 2 packages (that makes 6 pair total). They are not always too pleasant, but if the toddler already doesn't like diapers, they will be even more uncomfortable for him and a better motivator to learn to use the potty than pull ups that absorb everything. When my son started using the cloth ones, he would pee in them and then almost instantly start to cry because he didn't like being wet. He is almost 4 now and isn't completely trained, but he normally pees in the toilet pretty well for me. He doesn't poop in it yet, but he also has been being treated for constipation, so I feel lucky that he's having anything to do with the toilet. Anyway, those cloth ones can be a life saver...especially if you have to buy 3 kinds of diapers, but can only afford one...then just buy the over night kind that he needs, use the cloth ones at home, and save the pull ups for when you leave the house. It is a real money saver. Good luck!

He's probably ready to potty train; I trained my 27 month old with Toilet Training in Less Than a Day. It worked, but you have to follow it to a T.

Hi A.,

As a mother of four, let me tell you that this is very normal...and this too shall pass. I would remain consistent with consequences for poor behavior, find something that he can have in his hands to play with while you change him, and have a small reward on hand for when he does a good job (sugar-free lollipop, or something else very small that would motivate positive behavior).

Good luck.

D. P.

so let him stand! what's the big deal. i had to do that with my kids at that age, too. it's normal.

My son was the same way. We were cloth diapering at the time, so he had to lay down and be still in order to get the diaper/diaper cover on at the same time. I stopped fighting and just got pull-ups and changed him standing up. It's a little harder with the poopies than the wets, of course, but it can be done, and it's a whole lot easier than struggling to make them lie down.

This is the time we switched to underwear. Some people do the run around naked method we chose to use underwear as it contained the messes a little more. It took about one day of icky wet undies before she opted to use the toilet instead. Also a helpful hint is not to use pullups during the day until they fully get day time potty trained we went on vacation shortly after starting potty training with out daughter and put her in pullups so she didn't make messes at other houses well she found that they were just like diapers and took advantage of it and we had to start again.

My son was like this at about 15 months. We tried giving a toy to him to distract him and that worked for a while. Then we had him count for us and that worked for a while. Then he did his ABC's and after that we had him tell us what letters words started with -- anything to distract him. He's now 2.5 and we finally got him to cooperate by telling him that we would have to take one of his Thomas trains away if he didn't lay still. That's worked for several months now and it's no longer a battle for us at all. We never really did it as a mean threat either. We just gave him a choice and would say very calmly "we can change your diaper or put one of your trains up in the bowl on the fridge. Which would you like?" Standing up didn't work for us since he often had really messy diapers. If standing up works for you, I would just give your child a choice and say "would you like to lay still and have your diaper changed or stand up and be still for a diaper change?" Choices always work for us to get our toddler to do something.

I am a mother of two. A 3 1/2 year old and and 18 month old. I've gone through this with both of them. Try giving him a choice of where he would like to be changed. Does he want to change his diaper on the floor or the changing table? You might also try pull ups if he is really against the diaper. Find ones with his favorite character of them and see if he goes for that. In the very least you can just pull them on him so he doesn't have to lie down to be changed. Don't worry. Like all fazes this will pass. Just hang in there and try to be patient. If he sees you getting upset then he will continue doing it because he is getting a reaction out of you. Don't give him one.

Next time you have 2 - 3 days off, put down a comforter in a safe room (one you can wash) and let your little guy run around without pants, while you supervise and potty train him that way. I bet that he will not like the stuff running down his legs, and will go on the potty.

What you have is a strong willed child, and I send my sympathy's and he is now in the terrible twos. Tough times. I have a few suggestions.

Bribery. Give him a special toy that he only gets to play with when he holds still during diapering.

Give him a special treat that he loves to eat only after he holds still during diapering.

If your focus is on him holding still during diapering don't try to potty train him at the same time. It will be too much for him.

I agree with Donna L. about the 2 minute warning and giving choices about walking or caring, places, etc.

W.

Have you tried just keeping him in pull ups or training pants? that way closer to being on potty and you can also take them off and on while he stands. I am a mom of a 27 mo old girl so i know how you feel.

Not knowing all of the details, I have a couple of suggestions for your consideration:

-Make diaper changing fun (like have a fun flying game through the air at the end to get him off the changing table).
-Consider doing stand-up diaper changes
-Be firm but kind.
-Tell him his body is doing good work (maybe he is nervous about changes and feeling self-conscious at an early age about how his body is working as he is becoming more self-aware).
-Be consistent. Change diaper at same place and in same way so he knows what to expect.
-When he's having a fit ask him if he needs a hug.
-Ask questions to see if you can determine why he is upset at changing his diaper. Explore his feelings.
-Involve him in the process. Have him pick the diaper and get out one or two wipes. Talk to him about how to pull up his pants. Basically let him begin to take more ownership in the process.
-If there are any times that are successful, use encouragement and acknowledgement of those times. Also examine those times to see if you can determine why it was easier that time vs. other times.
-Don't tell him he doesn't like wearing diapers. It may be reinforcing an idea he does or does not have. Tell him what you'd like him to think--like "diapers sure are helpful", "boy, I like it when my bottom is clean.", "a new diaper feels so soft on your bottom".
-Provide two positive and good options to involve him in the process -- "do you want this to be a quick change or a slow change?".

Hope some of these ideas help.

Best of luck,
Rebecca Mikami

Hi A.! I have been there! It used to take one of us to hold my daughter down, and one to change her diaper. It lasted about a month, and then she settled down. Have you tried giving him something to occupy him? Like a snack, or a toy?

As a fellow childcare professional, I have found that changing children standing up works better for me, even when they have dirty diapers. I began doing this when my toddler class was full of hardy-built little boys and I was pregnant and was not supposed to be lifting them. Give it a shot! :)

Same with me, son does that too, but he stays still when i ask him to point to his head, nose, ears, etc. That gives him something to do, and he thinks its fun! Hope that helps.

We had that happen too when our little one wasn't ready for the potty but didn't want to stop for a minute to get changed. I would just change her standing up. You get pretty quick at it (most times).

Another thing I started doing, was give her a sense of control over the situation. I would tell her that I was going to change her (e.g. 2 minutes until we change your diaper, time for a change right after you're done with that book, etc.) and then give her a choice of walking or being carried to her room. In fact, I still give her that choice when she's not wanting to do things. It usually gets her focused on the task and hand and she usually walks with me with little or no issues.

If that still didn't work, then I would just bring the wipes and diaper out to where she was playing and change her right there.

I know that many of the other parents had the same problem and would just change their kiddos while standing, too. It's a pretty common phase they go through. Good luck - right when you have this conquered, the next confusing phase will be up (or at least that's how it is in our house). :-)

I totally understand your frustration! how about changing him standing up? or just leave the diapers off, dress him in clothes that he can easily pull down and up by himself (maybe even just stretchy pants with no underpants to make it easier, or loose training pants), have several potties available around the house, and he will learn to use them on his own (nobody enjoys wearing wet clothes for long, so he'll learn), if you don't push him too hard and make a big deal out of it. (you may be doing extra laundry for a while!). He may also be having feelings from you being away going to work, and expressing his feelings by trying to have some control over diaper changing. I'd suggest that you talk with him about that and empathize with whatever feelings he might be having. I hope he is staying with someone good while you are working, in a good situation. I'd recommend talking with his caregiver(s) too, both about how he is in general while you're away, and about meeting his elimination needs, so that you are both following the same approach. I think it's wonderful that you've found a job that you like, I know it's tough being a single mom. But it's also really important to make sure the transition is going well for him.

What a perfect time to start potty training!! I love it when they give you signals like that! Make lemonade out of lemons... Good luck!

Hi, A.;
I know exactly how you feel. My 27-month old would fight me every time. And then my babysitter told me that he was really good for her and then I was really mad -- just kidding. She let him help her, so now I do. I let him get the diaper and carry it to the floor (he's too long for the changing table). And then I replace it with another toy that I know will keep his interest. I also tell him that I will be done in 10 seconds and then I count, slowly if I have to, but he doesn't seem to mind too much as long as I make a big deal about it when I am done. I also noticed that because he is getting so big that when I was picking up his feet together to put the diaper under him, I was hurting his little feet. So now I don't it that way and he appreciates it. I don't have a specific place to change him anymore in the house either because if I can get him changed anywhere, I'll take advantage of it. My son isn't the least bit interested in getting on the potty yet either and I'm ok with that. He'll get interested soon enough. He's everywhere else right now. Good luck and don't lose hope. I was upset when I heard he was good for the babysitter and not me but then I realized we were just in a bad habit with it so make a new one that he doesn't mind so much and maybe he won't fight it so much.

R. (1st time mommy and learning as I go)

Luara U, with her "quick swat" perspective is not alone on her feelings about this. Crying and throwing a fit is a sign of him being miserable. Why let him stay that way? He'll be much happier much sooner, and so will you.

My almost 2-year-old is exactly the same way. Sometimes, I actually strap him onto the changing table. I am also 9+ months pregnant, and that makes it really hard to wrestle with him. We got a new changing table for the 2nd kiddo, and I have been changing my son on it, because it's so much easier than the floor. Does it work to distract him with mirrors or anything that he can occupy himself with? My most unfavorite part of it is that he only reacts this way with me. He never pitches a fit for my husband or his babysitter.
Good luck!

With a little practice you both can learn to change diapers standing up. He bends over for wiping and all that and then he can help hold the diaper on while you fasten it. This is something that my oldest did to. It is frustrating and adds a new level of complexity to the whole situation but your not alone. Another option, probably more expensive is to by the pull on diapers. I think there is a difference between pull ups and pull on diapers, I know Pampers them both.

totally normal - learn how to put on a regular diaper while he is standing up. Papers Easy Ups are the same as their cruisers, just pull ups not reg side closures.... phase - will be over within the next year or so....

A. - I must be all alone in my feelings on this. A quick swat to the butt keeps my child from moving around. He used to squirm a bit, but a quick swat has kept him in the right spot. I don't understand the changing him standing up thing at all, I could never get the diaper on right! Besides, you're the mom, if you say "stay still" then he should STAY STILL...end of discussion.

If he is refusing to let you place a diaper on him, I would see if he'd be willing to wear some big boy underwear or pull ups. But once he starts to potty train, remove the pull ups from the picture permanently. If he's showing signs of being ready to start potty training, then I would carry with you a whole lot of patience, praise, and vinegar. ;) If my son had an accident because he couldn't make it, I would do what I could to help him clean it up. But if he did it on purpose, I would make him clean it up with a bit of vinegar in a spray bottle and a rag. Eventually he'll learn. :D

Try changing him standing up. It will be a little harder for you at first, but it may be easier than the struggle. When I worked at a Montessori school, this is how children this age were changed and it was thought of as a transition to going on the potty. This might sound like strange advice, but I hope it helps! S.

My daughter (now 3 1/2) did the same thing. It lasted about 2 weeks and then she started to demand using the toilet. If you have an idea of what his digestive schedule is like I would suggest letting him run around without a diaper in between, or even trying to get him used to sitting on the toilet around his normal potty time. the worst thing that is going to happen is that you will have to clean up some messes, but not wearing a diaper helps them to make the connection between the sensations they are feeling and the actually bodily functions. Good luck, I remember vividly what you are going through and it can be frustrating to no end!

Dear A.,

They all go through that phase. I don't know why, but they do. It's summer soon and I would start that potty training, well part of it, outside. I did the same thing. But it was an advise that I took and worked. The boy was potty trained by fall. At two years and two months, he was out of diapers during the day and then it took another 4 to 5 for during the night.
It kind of seems a little " not proper", but it worked for my eldest. Boys, what are you going to do? When he goes pee outside in the backyard, make a big deal out of it. " Hey~! wow~ you went peepee?! Soon, he will tell you that he is going, when that happens, bring the potty outside and tell him to try it there. It worked for me and I hope it works for you.

Good Luck.

Pull Ups are great, especially when they are getting to this age. The time right before they are ready to potty train can be soo frustrating for the parent and the child.

Just think, you don't have too much longer to go until they are wanting to go on their own, even demanding to do it themselves!