The Looming Two's

Updated on July 12, 2008
L.H. asks from Baldwinsville, NY
7 answers

Well my daughter is hitting the 2's, and she has morphed from a sweet, super well natured little angel... to a "NO!" yelling little girl. She gets frustrated when I catch her acting up, and she will slap her own wrist and look at me in anger. She screams "MAMA!" when she is upset and I am not sure if I should ignore the behavior so it helps her realize this yelling will not get my attention. Or should I get to her level and try to get her attention changed to something else. I do not want to let her know that yelling will get me to respond, and it will not work for her to get my attention. But I do not want to send her a message that I will ignore her if she is upset. Any thoughts?

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So What Happened?

Well all your advice was such a welcome releif to know my child did not become posessed by the TT(terrible two)moster! We have been working together on her very loud talking in stores and the like. She is not yelling in anger or frustrarion but she is a VERY loud talker. I am trying to shush her and whisper to her so she will whisper back. She will then get exicted and yell again... then we start over... after mom pops a few advil for the looming headache she can feel creeping up the back of her neck. Its working though, we have a long way to go and the road is very bumpy, but i have a fantastic support system here at Mamasource :)

More Answers

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V.E.

answers from Albany on

My son, Matthew is 25 months old, and I can literally "feel", and see what you are saying, here. My son did nearly the exact same things, but has all but ceased to perform them. I ignored him (and I mean, I wouldn't even glance in his direction) if he didn't RESPECTFULLY communicate with me. No screaming MAMA, no hitting, slapping, foot stomping or anything else. He learned quickly that if he calmed down and said, Momma, mom or something similar in a nice voice, that I would focus 100% of my attention to him. This worked for me VERY well. Good luck and god bless, V.

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A.C.

answers from Rochester on

I'm not going to say I never hit but I try a stern voiced warning and redirection to something that is okay before i get to the wrist slapping part. My son is also 2 and he does the Mama!!! bit too. I usually let him do it for a minute then I get down to his level tell him i don't like it when he yells at me and ask him in a neutral tone what he needs. I usually then give him a hug tell him I love but he shouldn't do what he did wrong then redirect him to something he can do and not get into trouble.
I also have a 4 year old autistic child so redirecting is big in my home. Good luck.

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

Don't ignore her unless you want her screaming and yelling everytime you go out in public. When she yells go to her and say don't yell honey, say mama, I need you. Teach her the right words to use. She's just frustrated that she can't communicate with you as well as you can with her. Definately distract her when she yells to help stop it now. Good luck.

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T.C.

answers from Hartford on

There is a wonderful light-hearted book called, The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Karp. It provides sound and simple ways to use communication to help toddlers identify their feelings and cope with daily stressors. I have enjoyed reading this.

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J.F.

answers from Rochester on

At two they start knowing what no means. Start counting her with 1-2-3 magic. Don't know what I mean? Call your local library and request the 1-2-3 Magic - Easy-To-Learn Parenting Solutions That Work From Dr. Thomas Phelan ages 2-12. Good luck :)

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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

What I did with my kids is take them out of the situation, into their bedroom, or the public restroom if you are out and about, and let them pitch their fit. When we got there I would say, You tell me when you are done yelling/crying/screaming and when you are ready to talk to me nicely, I will listen. It doesnt take long for them to finish their yelling before they talk nicely to get their point across. It must be frustrating to need to express a specific need and not know the language as well as you need to. Hang in there Momma!

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