Terrible at Decisions - Help Me Decide About Christmas Eve!

Updated on December 19, 2012
J.C. asks from Blacksburg, VA
26 answers

I have to make a decision and I keep going back and forth, so I'm hoping someone can give advice that will help me decide. Growing up, my mom always invited people who were far from their families to join us for the holidays and I've tried to do the same - although generally my friends go to their parents' houses or have family visit them and I've invited very few people through the years. Anyway, this year we found out some good friends wouldn't be able to go home for Christmas, so we thought we would invite them for Christmas Eve, when our tradition is to have a casual dinner. Then we found out another family would be here, so we thought we would invite them, too. Well, long story short, we now have 5 families we would invite (and for various reasons of who knows who, we would have to invite them all). But now I am getting stressed about the idea of having 30 people for Christmas Eve dinner.

We have a casual dinner because we have so much to do once the kids are in bed and don't want to spend all night cleaning up. Plus we do a formal dinner for Christmas and do enough cooking then. So, as much as I love the idea of inviting these families, I'm not sure about trying to feed 30 people! So I thought of inviting them for cookies and cocktails (for the grownups) before dinner instead. But I love the IDEA of having everyone for dinner, I'm just not sure I like the logistics of it. And I thought of potluck, but that's not really done in our neighborhood and I don't want to be the only one who makes people bring their own food. So, can anyone help me decide? Thanks!!

To clarify: We have not invited anyone, other than saying we hoped we could all do "something" since they'd be around for Christmas.

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G.D.

answers from Detroit on

I don't think a potluck is rude at all. In fact, I'm with mom2many-I don't like to come empty handed.
Why don't you put a spin on tradition and invite them for a lunch get together? You could do easier food (like a sub, a deli meat tray, cold salads etc). The kids could all run around and shre their excitement and all five families will be able to get them in bed without a hitch.
Only 9 days to decide and invite!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.N.

answers from Chicago on

I, like you, like the idea of it but I would not do it. It would be overwhelming to me with Christmas the next day. But that's me, I'm not much of a cook or an entertainer.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I'd do pot luck. Just because it isn't typically done doesn't mean it won't be well received. People who have family far away usually love to have somewhere to go.

1 mom found this helpful

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

If we are having a lot of people we often have meatballs in a crockpot along with a shrimp tray etc. (we do a lot of our holiday food shopping at Costco). Since 30 people is too many for a sit down dinner anyway having trays of different foods served buffet style should work well.

2 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Start a new tradition and have a potluck. I have never met anyone who doesn't love a potluck. Simply invite your friends to a potluck party, and if they don't like potlucks they don't need to come.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

Even if it's not what is typically done in your neck of the woods, I don't see anything wrong with just being honest with people, and ask that they bring a dish or 2 to share. Since no one has been officially invited, that would be the perfect time to propose it - "Say, we are doing a potluck Christmas Eve dinner at our home with ham/turkey, and we would love to have you there, if you don't mind bring a dish or a dessert to pass."

2 moms found this helpful
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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I admire your spirit & kindness.
You can do it. Just keep it simple.

You can make a ham, mashed potaotes, biscuits & salad.
or
Lasagna, salad, garlic bread.

You may even be able to pick these up pre-made at your grocery store.

Then just add some beer, wine, sodas & bottle water.

Put out a plate of diff cookies (store bought) & some candies.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Covered dish/pot luck. I think that would be awesome and a lot less work for you.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.2.

answers from Chicago on

Like your family we always do the big sit down dinner on Christmas Day! Chistmas Eve has always been simple (especially since we all go to church) - rolled lunchmeat trays to make your own sandwiches plus all the condiments, shrimp and cocktail sauce, and lots of other yummy munchies!ll

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I really admire your spirit . . . HOWEVER, for me - with little ones - it would be too much.

I think those things are better when your kids are older or grown up, and you don't do the Santa stuff halfway through the night.

I just treasured every single Christmas with my sons when they were little, even the one where we spent part of the night in the emergency room with a bad strep. Those Christmas mornings were pure magic. I wouldn't want to not enjoy them as much because I was exhausted.

But that's just me, and don't let me steer you away from it if your heart is really called to it.

ETA: If you *can* pull off a potluck then I think it sounds great! :)

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Costco is your answer. Get a couple trays of assorted wrap sandwiches with some potato salad, pasta salad,veggie tray and fruit bowl. You can also get various other ready made dips/apps. I love to serve hot brie with cranberry along with crusty bread for an easy and filling app. I think Costco may even sell this ready made.

You could also do a couple great cheese trays with good cheeses from Whole foods. Google and you will find great combinations. Add some fruit and crusty bread plus cookies and you are good to go with a light spread that will still look good.

1 mom found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

So are the families already invited?

I see nothing wrong with doing it late afternoon and a pot luck, even if it isn't the norm for your neighborhood. You provide the meat, desserts and drinks and everyone else can bring the rest.

I am never comfortable going to events like that and not being anything, so I love pot lucks.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

A potluck isn't out of line and don't forget of those 30 people, there has to be at least a few who LOVE or may enjoy cooking... if you do need the help and want it, allow those others to give it to you... they 'd probably love to show off a great dish or two..
Also, consider making dishes ahead of time.. For example, I am making a homemade choco-flan cake... With prep and bake time, it takes about 1 1/2 hrs.. However, I am making it the day before Christmas... This is one of those cakes that tastes even better the next day... Also, I am making an Orzo Pasta salad, this is also a dish that tastes better the next day OR at least made the morning of.. that way, it has a chance to chill and soak up a little bit of the herbs..
There is a lot you can do ahead of time.. Do you and your friends like an antipasto platter? that is another item that can be done ahead of time..
as can a sauce for pasta...
The other thing you could do is make a fancy sandwich bar.. have lots of different breads/rolls, deli items, green/potato salads... a variety of beverages.. then ask people to bring different desserts..
thing is.. MANY people are also eating big meals for Christmas.. so they'd probably enjoy something different..
you could have a lot of fun with the deli sandwich bar...

good luck

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

IMO, most "holiday" foods feed an army anyway--a ham, pasta, roast beef, turkey, etc. Just try to keep it simple. If ham isn't duplicating Christmas day dinner, maybe bake a ham, get buns/bread, make a nice green salad and have cookies, 2 pies, and a jello salad. Make it be enough. Don't make it big in your mind. These families will be thrilled to be there. Make it simple. Delicious. And nice!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Did these five families indicate they wanted to go anywhere this year? They may have decided to stay for the quiet time alone with their families. If you just love the idea of having the company, find out what their plans are for chistmas and then determine who you need to invite the most.

Usually when we have company over for the holidays, its an elderly couple, single person or ones without close families nearby. Other than that, assume these other families maynot necessarily want to go anywhere either. Having over 30 ppl stuck in the same place isn't much fun anyway, imo.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Do a potluck-it's so much fun-or do a couple trays of lasagna, crusty bread, salad and have everyone bring a dozen cookies. could each family bring just an appetizer if you provide the main dish? Why wouldn't they offer? You could do a large prime rib or a ham and some simple sides. Merry Christmas and good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Pasta dish, salad and bread. Easy, filling and most people like it. I like making baked ziti for a crowd. It can be made ahead of time and then just heated before serving. Serve buffet style and let people sit where they want.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I wouldn't go to cookies and drinks BEFORE dinner.

Could you do like a taco bar or make enchiladas. They are easy, not much clean-up and you can make ahead of time and just put in the oven at party time.

Another thought I had was yes, we are all busy after kids go to bed on xmas eve. Are you sure people would leave early enough?

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, Mama:

Yes, have a pot luck dinner. Leaders will emerge from the group.
They can help clean up after dinner.

You are so thoughtful and kind.

God Bless you and your family.

D.

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R.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Pot luck appetizers and dessert. If you are worried about it not being "dinner" you can provide a few of the heartier apps - a spinach dip or bean dip/taco dip maybe cheese and salami. Costco has some great options. Add cocktails and small disposable plates and napkins - a few forks for desserts that need them and you have a fun and easy party - apps and dessert are the best part of the meal anyway!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

My husband and I always had dinner Christmas Eve and in tied those that. Old not get home. We would usually have around 35 people. Yeah we had things to do for our kids, but would do it when everyone left. We always had such a great time and they were very appreciative. Make a ham and a turkey breast, veggie, pasta dish, green salad rolls. Some cheese and crackers before. Does not have to be fancy.

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D.K.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think it is wonderful to spend time together with your friends who won't be going anywhere for Christmas. I don't see anything wrong with doing a pot-luck. Just because it isn't common to do them in your neighborhood, doesn't mean that people wouldn't like it. I am currently living in Japan. Pot-lucks are not common here at all. Neither is inviting people over to your house for a party. That being said, I have hosted a number of pot-luck style parties in my home, and everyone loved them. Some people even decided to have a pot-luck party of their own. You might just start a new trend in your neighborhood.

The other day, I saw an interesting idea on hosting a holiday party and having a recipe swap. Each guest brought several copies of a favorite recipe. The host placed them into a little booklet, and everyone got to take a recipe booklet home as a party favor. If you do a recipe swap, then it might be an easy way to introduce the pot-luck style. You could also do a secret Santa gift exchange where each person brings a gift. It doesn't have to be expensive.

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C.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I would do something simple like finger foods and drinks and set a specific time that will still allow you to do what you need to do after they leave and make sure it is on the invitation if past guests have been there for dinner they may think it will be the same this year. Meatballs in a crockpot are simple, vegs and dip, crackers and cheese to go with wine, egg and chicken salad on potato rolls, taco layered salad, soups and chili are easy to make and keep warm in crocks. Or you could order pizzas or chinese food. Or do a simple meal of salad which you can buy bagged to save time and make 2 big pans of lasagna the day before so all you have to do is cook them that day. Pick up italian bread. Maybe have a theme like ugliest sweater or everyone bring a canned good for the local food bank or something for the local animal shelter or maybe even an ornament exchange. If anyone asks if they can help or bring anything say yes!

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❤.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

Well, you could call it an open house and designate a couple of hours. I doubt you have enough table space for 30 people anyway. This way people can wander in at different times. Just have the food set out buffet style and maybe just do appetizers. I don't know, just the thought of that many people in my house would stress me out! Good luck!

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V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

Look at local italian places. You usually can get a couple of pasta dishes, a salad for a resonable price. Then just have some wine and beer. I wouldn't worry about hard liquor so that should save some money. Have your kids help you make a couple of batches of cookies and your set. Don't make too much of it. Let people know your plan and leave it up to them to decide to come. If they offer to bring something, do the obligatory, you don't have to, but if you would like to bring a beverage, please do so.

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

If you can afford it, order a pre-cooked dinner from somewhere. You can add some homemade sides and/or add some appetizers from Costco/Sam's Club. They have a lot of excellent food esp. this time of year. Instead of a full dinner, consider heavy finger foods - ham biscuits, mini quiche, spanakopita, etc. This also resolves any seating issues you might have as people will not need to use a fork and knife and can, therefore, eat standing up. Serve some wines, egg nog, cider and the usual water and sodas. It might not be fancy but I would use paper products so that everything can do in the trash fairly quickly at the end of the evening. Also, make sure you specify your start and end times so that people get the idea to get moving at X time so you can clean and set up for Christmas Day. It will be a fair amount of work but what a wonderful memory!

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