Telling Children Mommy and Daddy Will Not Sleep in Same House Anymore

I moved out of our home when our daughter was 4 1/2. She already knew things were not right between mom and dad, I'm sure your son knows, too. Let him ask questions and answer them as honestly as you can, without making this anyone's "fault". Knowing the truth is much less scary for kids than not knowing.

Your one year-old will absolutely "notice" and will need extra attention and reassurance, also (I moved in, over 20 years previously, with my now ex when his daughter was one and she had much more difficulty adjusting than our 4 year-old has because her parents were always fighting viciously).

My daughter has not needed counseling, but if you feel that would be helpful, then absolutely find a counselor to work through this major change. If parents can be civil and respectful with each other, and truly act in the best interests of the child, the child can adjust to separation and divorce.

If you can, try mediation before lawyers. Lawyers make more money the more you two fight. Mediation can give you a chance to work things out the way that will work best for everyone.

Tough situation. I would sit him down, and tell him that you need to talk and for him to try and understand. Tell him that you and his daddy both love him very much and nothing is going to change that fact but you and daddy arent going to be in the same house anymore and things are going to be different for awhile. Tell him that its definatly not his fault, and to not think that. Its between you and his daddy and that everything is going to be okay.

Just try and reassure him the best you can. I would wait a little bit to see how he adjusts to the new situation before you jump to counseling. He might take it better than you think. Its just a wait and see thing for now.

Good luck

I told my kids that although mommy and daddy love them with all our hearts, sometimes mommys and daddys can not live together. They were devastated, and that was a big part of why I agreed to marriage counseling, but if you husband refuses than that is obviously not an option. It will be very hard on the kids, so try to keep things civil with your ex to limit the pain if you can.

first seek a lawyer... you won't think you need one..but you do.. so go see one asap... as for telling your son.. just tell him that daddy is going to live in a new home... tell them that daddy still will see them and that daddy will love them and so will mommy. if he gets frightened about daddy going away.. tell him that daddy is just at a new place but that daddy and mommy love him and always will be. daddy will come to visit.. Counseling may not be needed see how things go... but contact a lawyer.. things can and will get ugly... you need to make sure that the kids are taken care of and you too. You need to come to financial terms and when he can see the kids... Do it..