Teenage Son with a Tattoo!! !?@?!

I would hope this was not done in someones home-if so I think I would have him tested for any know diseases that come from a dirty tatto. I dont particulary like tattoos but local tatoo places have to be inspected by the health dept. I wouldnt worry if it was done at a liscensed parlor.....however if it was done at a liscensed parlor they asked for Id, because they could loose their liscense tatooing an underage patron. I would be looking for a fake ID---This could get him into more trouble than a tatoo!

He needs to talk with someone that has tattoo's and the results of it. The government sometimes will not let them be active duty,or work for them.fast food, many other work places will not let him work for them if they show up in anyway. Travel overseas can be limited because some countries think of them as being gang related, and some are. All of this does not include the fact that there are diseases that can be passed along because of the equipment used.

I went through the exact same thing! When my son was 15 (now 26) he came home with a HUGE tattoo on his arm. I hit the roof! Nobody would out the person who did it because I too would've pressed charges. The police won't be of any help, trust me. I went through a lot with my son when he was growing up and it seemed like I couldn;t get any help from law enforcement, the school, or anyone. I know how frustrating it can be as a parent and I really do wish you the very best!

Wow... my oldest is 12 and haven't gotten to those teen headaches yet :) Just trying to make you smile a little... look I have 6 tattoes and I covered them up until my mom accidently saw (some of) them. She saw one when I was 19 (having birth to my first son) on my shoulders,my tattoe on my lower back she saw when I was picking my son out of the car seat (my second son) and she saw the cover-up on my upper shoulder about 3 months ago (I'm 32 yrs old) and she still had heart failure (that's me trying to make you smile again).

Look, I'm not for underage tattooing or tattooing just because everyone else did but lets get down too it... If he was going to tell you he would have already done so and yes most likely it was done at a friends house (my cover-up was) but what you need to explain to him is the health factors... clean needles, infections, disease... all of it.

I kinda see it like this... (hope you don't take offense to this) some of us will teach our children not have sex till marriage/or in an adult relationship but if they do have sex prior to that we want to teach them how to have safe sex.

So unless you are willing to ground him (discipline) until he tells your pretty much in not such a good position.I think he is rebeling, dont know about what but you need to continue to talk to him, discipline him but most of all continue to love him.

Hope I didn't offend anyone

Take a picture of it and have a male figure you know go to the local shops asking if they did it pretending he wants one just like it - bellieve me - they know their own work..... when they admit to having done the tattoo - get their name and write their description down as soon as the person is back in their vehicle and report it to the police and there should be a board like health board or something you can report the shop to as well has a civil suit against the shop owner.

good luck!

I have a 17 year old son who is interested in tattoos. He has asked for my consent and I told him "NO absolutely not. Not on my watch. You want to do that, its on your dime". Seems to me that there are other issues besides the tattoo. My son has the attitude of "its better to ask for forgiveness than permission". Apparently, you son does too. I would be very upset by the fact that he did this knowing I said no. You are still the parent and you do have control over the situation. I do believe that whomever did the tattoo should be punished but what about your son? You may or may not find out who did the tattoo, but the person responsible is living in your home and its your son. Seems to me that actions have positive and negative consequences. This, at least to m,e is a big negative. Good luck! Kids don't make being a parent easy!

As someone who got a tattoo as a stupid teenager I say this:

Talk to him about the fact that he isn't going to be the same person as he is now, when he is 30...heck, not even when he is 21! Remind him that interests change. He doesn't think Leggos, Hot wheels and The Power Rangers are cool anymore... and to think about it before he adds anything else permanent to his body!!! He can wait to get any more after he has done grown up a bit...its the least he can do for the woman who birthed him and took away his owies:)!!!!!

I hope it was nice work at least...and that its somewhere he can cover up!

I don't think this is a viable solution but you could always ask his brother where he got it done and then call em' up and yell at them and see if they will pay to take it off?

The question I would ask your son is "where is your fake ID". If he had this tatoo done professionally, he had to show an ID to get it because the tatoo artist is not going to risk his or her business over something like this.

First, I want to say that tattoos aren't as dangerous as you are making them out to be as long as they are done properly. However, in saying that I don't mean at someone's home.

You definitely need to get to the bottom of this. You have told your son no and yet there has to be consequences. If you are getting someone else in trouble, then maybe they will quit giving your son tattoos. If it is a business, then it is illegal and they need to be reprimanded.

If you don't do anything, then your son will think it is ok to go behind your back and do whatever. Especially after you have already had the talk with him. He is not 18 and therefore cannot do whatever he wants.

Not sure about TX State laws specifically, but most states require a person to be over 18 or have parental permission to get a tattoo from a reputable shop. Reputable is the key word, however, and some shops aren't as lawful as others. Also, the law only counts if it was done professionally, in a shop. Does it look professional or does it look like a friend or a friend of a friend might have done it outside of a shop? Could your son have a fake ID? Not really sure what the Sheriff's Department can do if your son won't tell you where he got tattooed, but it can't hurt to call the non-emergency number and talk to someone. Good luck!

I would certainly get to the bottom of this considering the childs age. I am against children getting tattoos. When you are of legal age them we have the right to do almost what we choose. If you are from a small area ask some questions and see if you can find out who the culprit is. I am from Canada and you can not get a tattoo without legal consent. Good luck. I hear your anger and it is justified.

L.

i think that kids are going to be kids, no matter what. its true though that unless he had parental consent to get the tattoo that is was done illegally, so something could be done if you feel that strongly about it. but if your son wanted a tattoo so bad that he went as far as getting it behind your back, then he would have got it anyway when he was of age. i wouldnt think too much about it, ofcoarse it upset you, it would any mother, but you may just be angry due to the fact that he did it without asking that is upseting you so much, and that he refuses to talk about it. again though, he probably would have got it done eventually anyway.

Take a deep breath. Maybe you are more upset because you realize your son is creating a trend by getting another tattoo. I used to be very against tattoos. I have employed many that have tattoos. Our company policy is that they must be covered. I have learned that tattoos for many is self expression, just like I wear shoes, necklace, or a scarf.
If your son really likes tattoos. I encourage you to get on board with him going to a real tattoo artist. My biggest concern is that he is not going to a "real" studio. If a friend did the tattoo, the police most likely will not investigate. They will most likely list it, as a complaint. If you son knows you are thinking of all these angles to enforce the law, he will not tell you the truth.

For now, talk to him about the safety of tattoos. Talk to him about what he might want to do as a career. If he says, teacher, banker, stock broker, etc. Get him to think about what those professions portray as professional appearance. People make judgments. If he has a sleeve, then he may have to overcome more adversity in some careers.

This may be a big issue now. But, hopefully you can talk to your son and you can laugh about it later. You may want to have your son read these posts. Then he could better understand that parents have things they have to assimilate.

Get the police involved, even if they are not able to get to the bottom of this. Your son needs to find out what it is like to go to the police station and be interrogated. He broke the law. Take him to the doctor as well. He needs to hear from a professional about the dangers of HIV and hepatitis, etc. and pay for the costs of the tests. He needs a nice welcome to the real world as he is obviously in teenage oblivion.

If you are having ongoing attitude problems with your son(s), what worked for me was to completely gut my daughter's room when she was in high school. She had only the bare minimum and had to earn back her belongings. She became a whole different person - appreciative, respectful, etc. I thought she knew we meant business before but she needed something huge to get her attention. She had always been apologetic but she never could stop herself from being disrespectful in the first place. She learned.

I saw an episode on Judge Judy with this scenario. The business owner is totally liable for this. You should find out who it is and sue them for the cost of removing the tattoo. Good luck. But I don't know as far as criminal charges. They should definitely by taught a lesson.

My other half is a tattoo artist. What I know about getting a tattoo is:
1. In the state of TX, you MUST be 18 in order to get a tattoo. Even with parental permission, you cannot be tattooed in a licensed shop if you are under the age of 18. The ONLY exception to that is to cover up gang-related tattoos, and I believe even then you must have a court order.
2. A reputable shop will not only ask to see your ID, they will make a copy of it. The shop he works at has a contract-style form with a hole cut out for ID. They make a copy of the whole thing, and then have you sign below your copied ID. I don't know if signing a form is required for all shops, but it's a practice that all the shops I know of follow.
3. Tattoo artists are not individually licensed. Generally what happens is that a shop owner obtains a license to operate, and the employees that work in the shop work under that license as sort of an umbrella license. This means that most shop owners are EXTREMELY interested in making sure their employees toe the legal line with regards to age limits, tattoos given to people obviously under the influence, etc.

That being said, most likely one of two things happened - either he has a fairly good fake ID, or it was done at home. If it was done at home, it's unlikely that you'll ever discover who did it (although keep an ear to the ground...if it's someone your son is around often, or someone known to his group of friends, someone's bound to let something slip sometime). If he had a fake ID, then I don't know whether or not a shop could be held responsible...they may be artists, but they are not extensively trained on how to spot a fake ID. I would go ahead and contact the police...they might not be able to do very much legally, but they might could put a bit of the fear of God into your son where the legal ramifications of his actions are concerned. If nothing else they might could answer some more of your questions, and might even know names of people known to be involved in such things. If one of them rings a bell you can always pursue it.

On another vein, perhaps you could go to a reputable shop and have one of the artists talk to him about what he is doing. Most of the artists I know feel pretty strongly about tattoos being done the right way, and would probably be willing to talk to him. Perhaps he would listen to someone that's already walked the path, and has the "marks" to prove it. If you think this might be something you would be interested in, I know some artists in and around the Houston area that might be willing to do a favor. Feel free to message me.

However, this seems like a deeper issue than a bit of ink more or less. Try talking to your son a bit about what makes this so attractive to him. Be prepared to talk with an open mind...he might surprise you. You might not change his mind, but perhaps he and you could come to an agreement you both could live with, where he could make those choices responsibly. You are still the boss of your house, but it'll be a lot easier if you are both on the same team.

Best of luck to you,
-M.

**Adding this: ALSO, how did he pay for it? Or was it free? Is he getting an allowance? Perhaps take that away from him. What if he gets more tattoos?

I hope... it was done with clean needles.
Does your son know about this aspect of it and how he can get diseases from it? even the Heath Department has regulations on these businesses.
They have to be licensed etc.

Needles are supposed to be disposable and wrapped/sealed in individual packets.

I would ask your son about this... where the needles came from...

I hope it is not "gang" related?
Since he now has 2 tattoos... think about that he may get more... its always a possibility. What then?
What is his punishment?

Perhaps take him down to the sheriffs/police department.... and sit there with an officer and get him to talk...

All the best,
Susan

I doubt it was done at a shop at all. Even less than reputable shops ask for ID. So unless he has a fake ID, then it was probably done by someone with the equipment at home (not as uncommon as you'd think!) Id just explain to him the dangers of getting a tattoo from someone not licensed and/or at a shop without high cleanliness and safety procedures. He could get aids, hepatitis, etc from them re using needles, not wearing gloves, etc. Not to mention all kinds of other infections! I would also take him to the dr and have him tested for aids and hepatitis at least and have the dr give him the 3rd degree too! I would also make it known that he is to cover it when with his family and at school

I do know that you are suppose to be 18 to get a tattoo, my sisters both had to wait. So you sould find out where he got it, explain to him that the shop is breaking the law and you have to report them so that they do not harm a child. Yes he may be fine, but what of a child that is only 13 and goes in and then gets sick from it. If you don't plan on punishing him for the tattoo make sure he knows that you are upset with the tattoo shop and not him at this point. Of couse then the other the son may get the bright idea that you're OK with it and you should take him to get one. But I really think the shop should be reported. If you're going to get a tattoo you really need to go to a good shop and this place sure doesn't sound like one if they are giving under age children tattoos.

Your rules are your rules period! Whether he was 3 or 7 yrs old. If your child disrespects your rules, he should have consequences!!!
What is scary is that he did it again knowing your feelings which tells me he disrespects you as authority. Kids are supposed to push the boundaries but he pushed last time-this time, he broke the barrier!!
I would not focus on who did it but the fact that he dd it again. It is not just the disrespect to you but his body because of diseases.
If he has that much time, that much freedom to stay somewhere for however long it took to apply, he needs to lose some of that free time.
Loss of free time for the rest of the school year would be good but then you are getting punished also. Loss of privilegs-take away cell phone, loss of privacy (remove door to bedroom), maybe car if he has one-those consequences don't affect you-only him.
IT's time to initiate tough love or what other authority figures will he disrespect?????

The Department of Health Services is the governmental agency that monitors tattoo studios. Of course, unless you can find out where it was done, neither they or the police/sheriff department are going to have much luck doing anything.

I have tattoos, but I was also a self-supporting adult at the time I chose to get themand I paid to have it done in reputable studios. If you feel like it is part of a bigger problem, there must be some consequences. For starters, he should pay the cost of the HIV and hepatitis tests...or at least what the insurance doesn't cover. If he is ontherwise manageable, I agree to pick your battles.

One thing, that some might consider a little drastic, is to take him and have it covered with something of your choosing. Even if you have the artist scribble over it with black or blue ink (these are the easiest to remove with laser removal), your son with get the point AND could have it corrected later in life. If you are willing to follow through (and can find a cooperative artist), you could certainly present it as a consequence.

You could also make him pay for laser removal. If you feel like these were done by amateurs, the time to do it is now. The fresher the better.

P.S. I have ONE tattoo that I'm not crazy about, but it doesn't bother me enough to have it removed.

I would also be very upset. I like what the others mom have asked.
Where did he get the money?
Does he make good grades?
I am wondering, is he involved in school sponsored activities?
Does he do community service?
How does he spend his free time?

Then ask yourself, "What am I the most upset about?"
That he did this without my permission? That he broke the law? That he does not listen to you? That he does not follow your rules? What makes him tick?

Now decide how should he be punished? This is just a suggestion.
Now make any punishment fit the crime. Have him report to you where he will be when he leaves the house, EVERY TIME. Then go and check on him. Make sure you know where he is right after school. Call him and have him call you. Check up on him.

If he is going to a new place ,, he must call and tell you, EVERY TIME. Check on him.
Keep tabs on him so that he looses some of his freedom and he will learn his freedom was based on trust and right now he has lost it.

The other twin will not be forced to follow these rules as long as he has been following the rules.
He sounds immature so he needs to be treated like an immature child.

Hi K.,

When I was 15 I pierced my own belly button. OUCH!!! I know it is not permanent like a tattoo, but we all do crazy things when we are young. I would just try and explain to your son that what he wants on his body now, he may not want when he is 35. Hopefully he got it in a place he can cover it up. I know it upsets you so when something like this happens to me, I just try to think about the positive. You have 2 beautiful boys that are healthy and that are on this earth for you to love. Good luck, and hopefully this can be something you will laugh about one day.

Forget the tatoo, If his grades are good in school, He is a good christian, then you have done your job. Let him know that your disappointed about his choice. They do it now or in college. Senior year our daughter got a tatoo. We were upset. Our MINISTER asked us "How are her grades?" She comes to church, and active in youth group, you have done your job. Pick your battles.

K.-
I'm not where you're at yet (my boy is 11), but oh, I feel for you. I think I would try and trick my son into telling me. He's only 15 you should be able to outsmart him. I can tell you're a smart woman. Second, I'd call law enforcement. If he did it in someone's home then there is good cause to call them. Third, I'd book an appointment for laser removal (somewhat painful) for both tattoos. Fourth, I'd fill out an application at McDonald's for him so that he can pay for the laser removal. Fifth, all extra curricular fun stuff would be gone, including sports, arts, etc. no dating, no hanging out, no cell phone, yada, yada until the tattoos were fully removed and paid for. I'm strict. I know it. I may suffer the consequences later, but I refuse to allow my kid to rule the roost. He has spoken about the tattoos he wants and piercings. I said when you're an adult and you use your own money and I am not supporting you in any way whatsoever, feel free. Until then, dream, plan, but don't do without facing the consequences. He wants to pierce his ears! My kid who has to be reminded twice a day to brush his teeth wants to put holes in his ears and be responsible for taking care of them. Ha, ha, ha!
Best,
S.

Your anger is misplaced. It shoulld be focused on your son. He disrespected you not once but twice. He obviously is not worried about what you say at all. I would change this or tatoos will be the least of your problems.

I do not have any experience in dealing with teenage problems, as my children are 7 and 3...but I felt compelled to add my two cents. :)

First, I think you do need to find out where/when/who did this tattoo and notify the police. Even if you use it as a scare tactic, the point needs to be made that this was done underage and without parental consent. I know you said you "consented" to the first tattoo, but that doesn't mean it was an open offer to go out an get more (especially behind your back).

My biggest concern for you and your son is the hygiene involved with this tattoo. Not knowing who or where this was done opens the door of dangerous possibilities.

I would sit your son down and have a very serious conversation with him. Explain that there really isn't much you can do since "what's done is done", but you can and will follow up with the consequences. For the sake of your relationship with your son, I think it is extremely important he fess up and tell you who/where this took place. And then take him to a clinic or doctor or hospital and have the appropriate blood work done to make sure he didn't contract any diseases with the potential use of dirty needles.

I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you! :)