Teen Trouble

My personal advice would be to get him one of those babies that they use in high school in health classes. That might change his mind when he has to take care of it night and day.

K.

I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are but have you tried explaining that our bodies should be reserved for our spouses in marriage?

We have teenagers and purchased a booklet called, "Every teenager's little black book on sex and dating", by Blaine Bartel.

It is scriptually based but definetly in a teenager's language without being too overpowering.

It helped us with our children and presented them with information in a way that made sence to them.

Hope this helps!

Tell him that unless hes ready to be a father he needs to not be having sex.Take him to walmart or babies r us and take a notebook and a calculator, and write down a list of EVERYTHING a baby will need everything from diapers to crib and carseat. Tell him that condoms and birthcontroll arent 100% and when you get all the items writen down sit down and add up all the stuff. And make sure he GETS that HE will be having to pay for all that stuff then talk about hospital bills for births , mine for my son was 25k. And explain to him that any little girl that is wanting to have sex with him has also likely had sex with other guys and that having sex with her is also like having sex with everyone shes had sex with ( thats got the gross out factor especially for a 13 yr old)I am of the opinion that no matter what the age teenagers should not be having sex and everytime Ihear of a teenager having sex I ask them if they are ready for a baby because that is the end result of sex, not the result EVERYTIME but that is the purpose of sex.

Well it is always good to have the child not to do it. But most kids even good kids will experiment. I would make sure he/she knows about STD's,Aids, and having a baby. Using protection is very important if they are experimenting. It is up to you if you want to give them birth control. But i would just make sure they know all the consequences.

oh wow now i'm worried i've got a 9yr old boy so 13 isn't that far away!! if it were me i'd try the lock down method and although u can't do it forever just let him know he won't be getting to do any experiments till he's able to tell you how and show you how he can keep himself safe. remind him that even though it's the girl that gets pregnant the boy is just as much responsible and his life can be easily ruined by one night of carelessness(i don't mean ruined as in kids ruin your life just as in kids at that age can ruin some dreams i know i had my first at 16 and even though nothing's ruined just postponed using that word can sometimes have a very powerful meaning to a young one. i wish you the best of luck

The very, very, very MOST important thing is open communication. You don't mention how you became aware of the situation, but if he told you, that's a VERY GOOD thing. Keep the communication lines open and be sure he knows how to protect himself and his partner. I also like the sports suggestion. Try to get him involved in something...anything...that will give him an outlet for his energy and keep him involved with his peers in a more healthy pursuit. The bottom line is that there's no way you can stop him...best to be there for him and to make sure he feels comfortable talking to you. (My daughter just turned 12 and so far hasn't even kissed a boy, but believe me, I'm worried about what's around the corner!)

I agree with the other 2 Moms. One thing I will say that I have learned from talking with teenage nephews and neices is that they seem to think precautions are only necessary for actual intercourse. Teenage girls don't seem to know the risks involved with oral sex and it is shocking to know how many young teeneage girls are performing it. Taking them to shelters to meet teenage mothers and/or visiting AIDS patients may at least help instill the necessity of safe sex if the sex itself is inevitable. I am a 33 year old mother of a 10 month old girl and am not looking forward to the time I have to worry about this, either!

Well I think everyone approaches this their own way. If you want to scare her, take her to like a shelter or some place with single mothers, people with AIDs etc. Make sure she knows how to protect herself etc, also that its better to wait and the various reasons. My mom gave me a book on sex because she was too uncomfortable to have the talk.

You definately need to talk to him about it, and educate him on what can happen and things like that. My parents only taught me abstinence from a young age. I ended up losing my virginity at 15, and getting pregnant by 18. I love my kids, but they aren't for everyone. As long as he knows the consequences of his actions he may decide that it's not for him and stop till he's older. Good luck.

talk to that teen make them feel saft coming to you so this way you would know what was going on.

Hey,
I'm a clinical manager for a pediatric office and I have four kids...all teens. The experimenting with sex thing is tough. The fact is, if they are doing it one of the few things you can do is educate them and protect them. Talk birth control and make it available without judgment. Talk about your family morals. At this point, they know them and are trying everything to push the limit. Be very careful to NOT leave them in a position where it is easy to be carried away. No friends of the opposite sex upstairs in the bedrooms etc...If they are snuggling on the couch together in the den, make a reason to walk through there frequently. But give them some privacy. If your teenager is a girl, get her the new Human Papilloma Virus vaccine series to protect against this potentially cancer causing virus.

Have faith in the good work you've done as a parent so far!
C.

Mom, this is one difficult time for you. As one responder stated prayer is the key. Community help I feel is another. I believe in it takes a village. Another key I kept my children in sports. So if you can find something active for him to do. My son started playing baseball at the age of 5 and my daughter ran track starting in the 6th grade. Now that is not going to stop everything from happening but it will slow th process. My daughter is now senior in college will be graduating in 12/2006 and my son is 2nd year in college as pre-med major. I still have some issues with my son becuase he is trying to get all of his out now. It is not as bad because now he knows the importance of safe sex. GOD speed mother and I will keep you and your family in my prayers. It is our job to make sure of their safety.