my 15 year old is very smart and always on a sports team, so she's busy after school. She has a couple close friends and lots of people she will talk to in school. But when it comes to weekends, she's not that into going out with any one. It's kind of hit or miss and on her own terms. It seems like most kids her age are always out so I feel like it's weird that she's happy to be home. I was not like her. Anyone know kids similar to this? Sometimes I try to push her to make plans but now that she's 15 I am trying not to do that. I guess some kids are homebodies.
Thanks for all the great responses!! S.H. I don't mean for her to keep up with what all the kids are doing, I just mean in general hang out on Fri or Sat nite with a friend.
She is a late bloomer, still no interest in boys, just started wearing a little makeup and paying attention to clothes. My husband is fine with her hanging at home because he was like that, I guess it just drives me nuts because I was the opposite! As long as she seems happy, and isn't like "Oh everone in the world is having fun but me", I will let it go.
A., that's my 16 year old. I try to get him to go out with friends, but he says none of his friends do anything together! So different from my older son and all his friends.
Maybe next year they'll branch out a little!
Dawn
My sister was always out. I liked being home. To a large degree, that changed in college. And now I'm not antisocial in the least. In hindsight, I was a bit young for my grade and not ready for hardcore partying for awhile. Some of that started early. I always felt safe and happy at home. I will say I usually went out some and all but I wouldn't worry about her. People are different. I'd be thrilled actually if I were you. If she has friends and is active, you don't have to worry there's something wrong and you also don't have to worry what kind of trouble she might start getting into.
Why force her to go out?
During the week, she is doing so much, socially and physically.
Then, the weekend is probably her time to rest/relax/have time to herself/and unwind and catch-up with herself.
Its FINE.
She doesn't have to be or do, what other kids are being and doing.
You are lucky... BECAUSE, she knows herself and is not trying to keep up with the Jones' and is being herself and she seems to KNOW what she needs. Not just being a copy-cat and going out all over the place like other Teens even if she is tired.
I... was a homebody as a child and teen, too.
I... was in so many things. I did things, full of gusto.
I did what I wanted.... if I wanted to stay home, I did. Why not? Nothing is wrong with that. My parents KNEW that about me too. They had no problem with it. I was a typical kid. But, I went by my own, cues. And floated my own boat.
I was never, at a loss for friends or invitations or outings or socializing. But, yes, I liked being at home. Too.
I was like this, and still am!! My parents worried about me, because my sisters were so opposite. I was involved in so much, I needed to wind down on the weekends. Also, I didn't do anything that the other kids do when they "went out." (I'm sure my parents are thankful for that now, knowing the things teenagers do!!) If she's doing good in school and other activities, there shouldn't be any big concerns. I wouldn't push her, that will not sit well with a teen.
There's nothing wrong with liking to stay home! You should be happy that she's not trying to be out running around all the time with you home worrying. If she has friends, is happy and is doing well in school, it sounds like she's perfectly fine. It's great that there's a teen out there who likes being around her family!
My son is the same way. He's 18 and has his license and a car. He does drive himself across town to go to small groups at our old church because his friends are there. On the weekends, he prefers to stay home. It doesn't bother me because I'm the same way but it bugs the heck out of my husband who was never home as a teen. =)
Sounds like she may just need some rest! LOL Some people are just homebodies, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure you know lots of adults that would much rather unwind at home than anywhere else, she could grow up to be one of those. You never know, once she is driving you may look at these days fondly, because you never see her anymore. :)
I haven't read through your other responses, but if she's truly happy being home with her family you should THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS! I'm dreading the teen years with my daughter. I can't stand the thought her wanting to go out with friends every night, and dealing with driving, curfews etc... Be glad that she wants to be home!
She sounds like me at that age. She may just need her 'down time' on the weekends, and get her fill of 'social time' during the week, especially with classes, after school activities and sports. Does she find her lack of plans to be a problem? If not, and there is nothing difficult going on at school, I'd suggest just enjoying her company. She'll be out on her own soon enough...
PS- a quiet social life at 15 isn't an indication of a quiet social life forever...I was late bloomer and hit my stride in law school. Good luck!
Yes!!! Except I have a son. I don't mind and I know he has plenty of friends I just thank my lucky stars he isn't trying to be out running the streets getting into trouble. Im a homebody too so I know where he gets it from! I don't push, let her be herself.
My kiddo is a homebody too! Would stay home at all times if I let him! Strange to see him behave like this because he's so active - but I think it's because he is that he needs to the downtime.
:) Wish I could offer advice.
I was busy in high school and college.
Sometimes some down time at home was the only way to recharge.
On one occasion I had such a tough week I went to sleep Friday night and woke up Sunday morning.
At 15 she's still growing, and sleep/rest is important.
I haven't read through the responses, but my sister was like this. She basically didn't have any friends that weren't through me. She's 2 1/2 years older. Funny thing is she married a guy who HATES to be home. He wakes up and goes out for coffee, etc. She is still like this and is really stressed at this time in her life because her son is an extrovert and on every team imaginable and she goes to all of his games. She is constantly complaining that she is never home. Some people are just different, I guess. I was the opposite, I would feel so left out if I was at home. I think it's better to be happy where you are, it was not a good feeling for me.
A., consider this a blessing. You have made your home a place where your daughter loves to be. This is the perfect opportunity for both you and her to really bond. I was a homebody when I was a teen. I had friends, but I enjoyed being home and spending time with my mom. I was also a good student and never got into trouble. Teach her how to cook, clean, sew, shop, budget, care for a family and basically run a household. These skills are so crucial in life. My daughter, who lives with her dad, is the exact opposite of your daughter. She spends most of her time at her girlfriend's house which means getting into trouble. Her dad would rather her not be home because when she is, she is pouty, bored, demanding, and disrespectful. Your daughter sounds like a great kid. You are lucky.
I have two that are this way! My middle son is 19 now, but through high school unless his older brother forced him out, he stayed home. My 14yo would also rather spend her time home than out with friends. I am always trying to get her to go do stuff, invite friends over. She always refuses. One time I asked her to invite a friend and she kept saying they were busy. So I got on Facebook and invited them. She had never even said anything to them. When the friend showed up, she was so surprised and they had a great afternoon. I never considered my daughter as shy but I guess when it comes to putting herself out there with a chance of rejection, she won't do it.
We get along very good. I am blessed to have such a good relationship with my kids. But I do sometimes wish they were more social.
Blessings!
D.
My oldest (16-girl) really enjoys staying at home. If someone invites her out, she'll accept the invitation, but she doesn't go out of her way to make plans or invite friends over. She simply prefers to hang out in her room and listen to music and do some writing.
My youngest (15-girl), who is much more social than her sister, also enjoys being home on weekends. It's her time to just to unwind and recharge.
I didn't read the other responses, but I just wanted to say that I was like this (still am). I was very busy in high school with extra curricular stuff. I had a small group of close friends too. But for the most part, when I wasn't at a school function I liked to be at home. I never went out on the weekends with friends and my friends and I rarely just hung out on the weekends if it wasn't a school function or something special like someone's birthday. Even once I started dating we mostly spent our time at one house or the other, there wasn't a lot of "going out". Since I was so busy with other stuff I really enjoyed the "down time" at home getting to sleep in and wear pajamas around the house and read or watch some tv. I know plenty of adults that just want to stay in for the weekend after a long week at work, so I suppose the same can be true of a busy teen with a long school week.
I still like to spend time at home. I enjoy peace and quiet and time by myself (whenever that's possible with a toddler) and rarely feel the need to get out of the house.
As long as she's happy, well adjusted, and doesn't seem to have any problems with social skills...then I'd count your blessings. There are probably moms out there whose daughters never want to be at home and then there are the kids that are out getting into trouble. Once she and her friends are driving this may change and they may go out more, but she might always be happy spending time at home. She's totally normal. It's sounds like you got a good kid there, mama :)
Sounds like an awesome child to me! :)
