Tantrums! - Westminster,CO

this is all I've got: move the changing mat to the floor and pin him down while you change him. that'll be safer. My 10 month old is doing the same thing but it's just because he wants to be running and playing with his older brother. Maybe give him a toy to play with while you change his diaper as fast as you can, sometimes that distracts them long enough from the tantrum that you can get them clean before they realize they're changed already. Good luck!

If it's any consolation... my son is 9 months and will not let me change his diaper. So I have learned (very quickly) to change him while he is standing up. My problem was solved. (Just be careful with the rolling poop) hehe

We used to joke that diaper changes should be considered an extreme sport! My daughter, especially, hated being changed. I think a lot of it was she was just to busy to want to stop. Of course, not changing her was not an option!
I would stop using the changing table. It sounds like he's too big for it. Just put a changing pad down on the floor and sit or kneel next to him. Have everything ready and do it as quick as you can. I would say, too, that it's better to do it the firt try rather than trying to let him calm down and try again. You may have to (gently) pin him down, but be quick and get it over with. I remember sitting next to my daughter with one leg over her chest (just enough pressure to hold her) as I changed her. I bet it looked really funny!

Have you watched your husband to see if there's anything he does different? Maybe he talks to your baby a bit differently, or he has a no-nonsense attitude, or something else. Or, it could just be because he's dad - kids are like that sometimes. Maybe let dad do as many of the changes as possible for now (lol!)

I read somewhere that at this age when they are so busy exploring their world they see it as a personal attack to be put on their back like that and get cold from the change. If it is just a wet change I sit my 15 month old on my knee and change her from a sitting position so she can still look around normally. It has really helped cut down on the flailing and screaming. Good luck! If you find the perfect answer be sure to share! :-)

It is a stage and probably won't last long. In the meantime, change him on the floor, try to distract him, and learn to be super quick. It will be over soon.

My daughter does the same thing and putting her on the floor only makes it worse (as she can run away). I have become a master at the standing change (I get the diaper over her butt then hold her against me face out and hook the rest of the diaper in place). If you figure out a fix please make sure to post it! Good luck.

This happened to us too. A couple of suggestions. First, if you are lifting his butt by grabbing both of his ankles in one hand, it could be that you are hurting him (I was inadvertently doing this) so try to just lift one leg or use your arm sort of like a "bar" that you press against his ankles without squeezing them together. Second, if you have anything that he really loves that can distract him that you use only for diaper changes, that helps (yes, I'll admit it, I gave him the phone). Third, quickly explain it will go faster if he cooperates ("I know you don't like this, but it will be quicker if you don't do that.") He might not get it now, but eventually he'll get it. Fourth, when he does cooperate, thank him "thank you, you're being so good, now mommy can change your diaper faster." Last, when he really is just thrashing around, you may indeed need to pin him. I just very sternly said "No, that's dangerous." or "No! You'll get hurt!" and try to pin his chest if I really need to.

So, you can mix up the above, and he will likely get over it, but it's a balance on how to deal with it b/c if you turn every diaper change into a time where you pin him to the ground and yell at him, he's not going to like it any better any time soon. At the same time, you need to set boundaries, so letting him flail when it's dangerous isn't an option. I use the least harsh method I can to get the job done. If distraction works, great, but still give him praise "you're being so good!" Next time, if he flings his distraction/toy off the table and starts to really fight me, I might tell him "NO! Dangerous!" and if he still really thrashes, I might have to pin him, but if he calms down, I immediately start praising, "Thank you! I know you don't like this. Let's get it done fast!"

Good luck!

I change my son on the floor (I laid down a waterproof pad, covered with a receiving blanket, and folded up a blanket for his head). Then he can flop, roll, kick....do whatever he needs to do while I try to wrangle the diaper on and I don't have to worry about anything dangerous (except him getting the diaper cream all over). Good luck :)

Since you say he doesn't have a rash and he only does it with you, its probably just one of his fun ways to test mommy. Try not to show him that it upsets you. Say something like "ready for diaper time!" or whatever the clue is that you usually give him, then pick him up to change him. I would recommend not on the changing table due to how big and strong he is, either floor or bed. He has to see that diaper changing is a must, even if he cries. Hopefully that helps him to get over his tantrums sooner.

Another thing about pinning, do it! Have you tried the upside down pin? Holding his upper part with your legs so you're changing him upside down? It sounds rough, but you're not putting your full weight on him and not hurting him. Its just keeping him from hurting himself and helps you to get him clean!

On the squirt bottle idea, I never have done it to my kids, I heard it angers them more, but have you tried blowing in his face to startle him to stop screaming? It helps with my daughters tantrums (sometimes! She has her opinions, and she makes sure I know lol) it might surprise him long enough to get the change started, at least.

The key is FAST!! Try to get that diaper off and a new one on as soon as you can! Standing up works well as long as there's no poop:)

Good luck!

All three of my kids did this with me! They are all huge babies too and it is awful! Needless to say, I stop using the changing table around the time they start to do this. You are right it is just too dangerous. I put them on the floor, restrain them with my legs and change away. It lasts a couple of months then they get over it. I did have one child that if I put him on our small ottoman, he felt like he would fall off and settle down but this didn't work for the other two.

Good luck and remember it is short lived.

Tantrums during diaper changing are totally normal. Be prepared for them to last until he's around 2. The thing that worked for us was distraction - a toy he can play with or whatever while changing. Also, instead of fighting him, play with him! Laugh, smile, tickle him - lighten him up! Won't work everytime but it works most of the time.

Hi Sarah,

I went through this with my son as well. What I found to help is give him a toy that he only gets to play with while you are changing him. Like a ball or something he can laern the name easily! Also, act excited he may be feeling your anxiety about changing him!

Hi! I'm a SAHM of 3 (#4 due in 6 weeks) and all of mine have gone through a "phase" of diaper changing terrors. The only thing I found to do is to push through it. If your son can't be distracted with his favorite toy while you attend to the nastier end of business then I can only recommend that you get the whole thing over will ASAP. If he's nearly flipping himself off the changing table, change him on the floor. If he bucks and tries to roll over (my kids all did) my favorite method of dealing with that is to sit on the floor with my legs spread and baby in between them. But then I place my legs over each of his arms pinning him to the floor. It doesn't hurt them and it eliminates the problem of mid-swipe roll-overs which can be quite messy. You'll still have to deal with the back arching which is especially annoying when you're trying to put the new diaper on so all I can say is be as quick as possible. He'll soon realize that he can't get out of it and stop the tantrums (fingers crossed). I sympathyze that he only does it to you and not to daddy. All I can say is that little boys seem to learn earlier than little girls how to work mommy. I had my 2 girls first and then a boy. WOW! The difference is amazing.

Good luck.
M.

I think all babies go through that stage and the trick is to not let them get away with it. When my daughter would do that I would firmly tell her that it is time for a diaper change and she needs to lay down and let me change her. I would force her to lay down. It would almost always turn into a wrestling, screaming match but I always won. Don't us the changing table anymore. Use the floor or bed. Put some pressure and weight on his legs so that he has to stay still until you are finished. When you are done tell him he did a good job and you are proud of him. Offer a high five or hug or something and then go about your day. Don't let him win. I used the spray bottle when my daughter would throw food of her high chair. It worked great. It surprises them enough to stop doing whatever it is.

Distract, distract, distract!

At this age, you cannot "reason"... but it is SUPER important to NOT let him know that a tantrum will WORK (or you will be ready to sell him to the lowest bidder when he is 2 or 3!!!)

Mommies: it is REALLY important to NOT make this a "control issue", for you may "win" this battle, but you absolutely will lose the war!!! The war? He will find SOMETHING he can do that you cannot force him in to or out of. Some kids learn to withhold their bowel movements... they can go for DAYS without a BM. Winning a "diaper battle" is not worth setting the stage for future who-knows-what. (And HE will define the war, not you!!!) Give it up.

Can your husband change him in the morning?

Make sure his other needs are met first (is he hungry?) then find a toy or music or somthing that he really likes.

Try changing him on a pad on the floor... it could be something about the changing table (height, feeling insecure, or ???)

Maybe he gets cold when undressed? Try to figure out what he is objecting to.

My son never liked me to change his diaper, clothes, etc. (I used to claim that he'd be happy wearing an outfit until it shredded or he grew enough to burst the seams!) So we talked and played and tickled... while I sneaked in a "change" as unobtrusively as possible.

His first lie:
Me: "Alex, do you have a dirty diaper"
Alex: "No"
Me: "I smell a dirty diaper"
Alex: "It's just gas"

One of the huge challenges of parenting: try to figure out your child's needs. If you say "Because I'm the Mommy, MY needs are important and yours are irrelevant" ... you can either make parenting one huge giant wrestle for control, or beat them into submission so they are spineless human beings who don't know how to say "no" to drugs, sex, you name it. A parent's choice. Good luck!

Have you tried distraction?? Okay, you probably have. Maybe bring out a favorite toy (one he doesn't always get to play with) as soon as you lay him on his back. Then, maybe a favorite snack afterward???

When my girls (twins) threw tantrums when they were little, I'd set a water bottle sprayer on mist, then squirt them. Usually the surprise would stop them in their tracks.

I hope that you find your solution soon!! Good luck.

Hi Sarah,
We had two babies that tried the same trick. We decided to use the tiny switch on the bare bottom trick with a firm "no". A couple of times of being stung on the bottom unexpectantly while in the middle of a tantrum got their attention in a hurry and we didn't have anymore issues. You need to show him who's in charge (this is a "lifetime" issue, not just a baby/toddler transistion.) Keep this in mind for the future Mom, you are in charge not the baby! New Year Blessings, L.

Put down a towel and change him on the floor. Become a quick change artist (think rodeo calf roping). Don't give into his tantrum - not changing him will give him a nasty diaper rash. You are the Momma. There can be no compromise on this. I'd have a hard time keeping myself from spanking him when he pulls nonsense like that. He's got years to go before he's ready to use a potty, and he needs to behave himself when he needs to be changed no matter who is changing him.

I haven't read all the responses, but I am glad to hear that this is totally normal. For one thing, it takes them away from whatever fun thing they are doing, and transitions are hard at that age. Even now, at 20 months, when we say it is time for a diaper change, my son says, "No!". We do it anyways. :)

First, change him on the floor. As soon as they get wiggly and start rolling, it is always safest to go to the floor. We try to play and let him hold a toy, and we also allow naked time. I make him lay still (or still enough) until I do all the wiping. Then, I allow him to roll over and get up. Sometimes he doesn't need that, and sometimes I don't have time for it, but if I do, he likes a bit of time running around naked. I usually have to chase him down again to put the diaper back on, but he sees this as a fun time and we usually end up laughing.
I do remember how frustrating it was at first and that he only did it during certain situations, but don't lose hope, it will get better.