Everyone I know talks about how their daughter either has to wait until they're old enough to buy their own tampons or that they refuse to let them use them.
I had my first period when I was 11 and on the first day I used a pad and HATED it. I didn't like the way they felt between my legs (and they were the good thin ones) and it felt gross, so the second day I used a tampons and I loved it, my mom didn't care that I wanted to use them, I just asked for one and she gave me some instructions and told me to ask her if I had any question. Well I couldn't get it in the first try because I was too nervous but a few hours later I tried again and got it.
I have two daughters (almost 5 and 3) so a long way till I have to deal with this, but when they start their periods and tell me they want to try tampons, I can't imagine saying no and then have them miserable for the 4-7 days every month for the next 7 years till they can buy their own tampons.
I know some people say 10-13 year olds are to young to fully understand tampons and remember to change them when they need to but I don't believe that. My mom would give me reminders to change them every few hours even though I had already remembered to change them myself and she made sure I knew how to stay clean and dispose of them correctly.
The one thing my mom wouldn't let me do was wear them at night, but I didn't want to do that anyway. I also know some people get scared of TSS but that's rare and if used properly shouldn't be a huge concern. Also the whole if you use a tampon you're not a virgin anymore if just completely false and something you shouldn't be pushing on your daughter and making her feel bad.
So can someone please explain to me why they wouldn't let their daughter use a tampon even if they really wanted too. I truly don't understand why someone wouldn't want their daughter to be their most comfortable during a really uncomfortable time.
One word for you: ignorance.
Well, unless they really have a flake of a kid who has shown that they would not be responsible with changing tampons. That, I could understand, but most girls I know now who are that age don't need to be reminded to shower or any other aspect of hygiene. They're pretty much on top of it already.
I got my first period while on a family beach vacation. We picked up tampons at the grocery store, I read the instructions and warnings in the box, and that was that. I didn't know people had hang-ups about providing their daughters with tampons. I am so appreciative my mom wasn't one them.
Used to be an old wives tale that a tampon would break your hymen and you would lose your virginity.
Others thought it would stretch out your uterus..
And then back in the early 1980's the best Tampon ever made, unfortunately was too absorbent and caused Toxic shock syndrome.
And then there are the women that forget to take out or change their tampons and get infections.
Here is the deal.. The majority of females have no problems with them. The only way to know if there is a problem is to try them.
Our daughter was young when she started menstruating.. she was like you, the first month she used pads, the second month she came to me and said, Ok, Tell me about tampons. I want to try them." I purchased some of the ultra thin ones and she never looked back.. All of her friends use them and we have not heard of any problems and now our daughter and most of her college friends use the Diva cup and really like it too.
Our daughters freshman year in college she taught so many girls how to use tampons, their mothers had told them that only "married women were allowed to use them..??" Our daughter said she was the "go to person" to learn about how to use a tampon the first time.
I thought how sad that they did not get to share this with their moms.
These are extremely intelligent young ladies!
Not sure why some moms are so afraid of allowing their poor daughters to at least try?
Never underestimate what your daughters can handle. The truth is out there, tell them their options and allow THEM to decide what they feel most comfortable with.. This is 2013, not 1950.. Why should they have to suffer the way we did back in the dark ages? Big old pads.. Yuck..
I'm sorry, but ... everyone you know is wrong.
There is no reason whatsoever for a 10, or 13-year-old girl, not to use tampons. You just have to teach her how to use them correctly. They idea that she wouldn't be able to understand how to use them???? It's your job to teach her. Explain in clear, anatomically accurate terms. Act like a grownup, and she'll learn to treat her becoming-grown-up body in a responsible way.
I have no idea. I think it's ridiculous. It's your job as a mom to TEACH them how to use them responsibily. How are they going to LEARN if you don't teach them?
The only thing I can think of is that it's a hang-up they got from THEIR mother, and maybe old wives tales/urban legends about TSS or something.
I have a boy, so I don't have to deal with this, but I remember my older half sister teaching me because my mother hadn't - mom was Catholic and she may not have known about them or had the "don't break the hymen" virginity thing I remember hearing about as a kid.
when my girls got their menses...we had a house with a pool! They loved to swim...so I educated them on safe tampon use. I got them 'slender' ones at first (cannot remember the brand just now...but the younger girls are 17 now, so it has been a while).
I just thought of it as a 'teachable' moment. Like so many other 'moments' we, as moms have.
No bigger...no smaller.
Best-
I grew up in the 80's and my mother absolutely refused to buy them for me. I got my period at age 13. I had to use those bulky disgusting pads and I HATED THEM! When i was 15 i bought my first box of tampons, when my mom found the box she threw them away. Then when i turned 16 i could use them w/o getting into trouble from my mother. I think when her generation was growing up my grandmother and my great-grandmother used to tell my mom that it was not appropriate for a girl under the age of 16 to use them. Another STUPID reason my mother told me i could not use them was because she said a girl can lose their virginity, which is a complete crock of S***! My DD just turned 16 a few months ago and i told her that she could use them anytime she wanted just to make sure and come and talk to me so that i could tell her how to use them the proper way. She never did. I have always been open with my DD about tampons and had she made the choice to use them a few years ago, i would have totally let her!
My daughter is almost 19.
I think she wore a pad the first couple days of her first cycle (age 12) and then it was tampon ever since except at night. NO I did not make her buy her own tampons. That is crazy. She was living in my house and my responsibility and I purchased her supplies.
Like you, I don't understand why some people are dead set on an age or thinking the tampon will make their child a non-virgin. There are so may far fetched ideas out there that people believe that are crazy. Of course, some moms can't accept that their child is growing up and I guess it is a punishment or a way to attempt to keep them under a rock until they get out of the house and see the real world.
I see nothing taboo about it. I believe in having strong communication all along the way of growing up. If I can do something that can make my daughter's life a little better somehow, someway, you bet I will do it.
I hated pads and my mom refused to let me wear tampons. It wasn't until I started buying my own that I stopped wearing pads. I won't put my child through that!
My daughter started using tampons almost from the get-go. She said that pads felt like wearing a diaper, and I couldn't argue with that, ecause she was right. My mom refused to let us use tampons, and I hated pads too. So, I taught her how to use a tampon. She was nine, and I bought the slim ones.
I had horrible cramps when I used tampons. No matter what size they were or how often I changed them. They just weren't for me.
So when my granddaughter has the opportunity to need a feminine hygiene product I will likely get her pads but the smallest and thinnest. I know she'll have to have lots of knowledge about changing them and how to let the teacher know why she needs to go to the bathroom if there is an issue.
I don't care if she decides she wants to use tampons or not. It means nothing to me. I do however want more control over what goes into her body.
Just because a child says they did something does not mean they did it. TSS can happen, it does happen, and it will happen to someone who does not understand the full possibilities of what could happen if they don't take care of the tampons regularly.
So I fully intend on letting her use whatever she wants BUT I have to have full confidence in her to understand the consequences of not changing them out on time.
Well, for me, I'd want my daughter to try both first. Young girls are not always the most reliable people (some girls are only 9), and if my DD gets her period at 10 vs 13, she may forget things like when to change and a pad is more visual. At 11, we were still reminding SD to brush her teeth.
I would also encourage DD to wear pads at night, at least til she shows daytime responsibility. My stepdaughter did not stick with pads for long, either, but she was also more like 13/14 than 10. One of my friends in college got TSS so I made sure that SD knew about it.
And it also varies on the woman. Sometimes tampons are not always the right choice and if your daughters try both and want pads instead, consider Always Infinity. They are more comfortable and absorbent than other pads.
I have no major edict about tampons, only that I would want to guide my child and know she is using them appropriately. I wouldn't want her to miss out on swimming or any other activity for fear of a tampon.
My mom didn't really give me the option. But then again I didn't ask. I don't think she wanted me to use them but I started at 10. I think I was 17 before I used them for the first time. I was going to go to a water park and didn't want to miss it and had a friend that explained it to me and sat outside the bathroom door talking me through it. I was too scared to tell my mom even then because they way she was. I don't have girls so don't have to worry about it with them. But I think it is all in the parents outlook on them and how open they are with their daughters.
I would love to have been one that could wear tampons. My flow was too heavy to use them and I would spot all over the place. My daughter can wear them and not have a problem.
My mom was old school but had finished cycles before I grew up.
As long as it works then go for it.
No one likes or wants to wear a diaper.
the other S.
I'm almost 53 and it was fun reading the answers to this question.
In my generation, tampons weren't doled out by mothers, probably thinking their daughters hymen was still in tact and that tampons would be painful to insert.
I have no idea. My mom gave me tampons at my first period. We were on vacation at a lake and no way was I missing out. What is difficult to understand about tampons for 10-13 year olds? There is a nice diagram in the package insert for Tampax if there is some conceptual difficulty, but I don't really see it.
I'd be afraid for a teen, heck even an adult!
Because I (an adult) forgot I had one in a few cycles ago...I felt terrible I did this. I could have died of toxic shock. And I am soooo careful.
If I can mess up that badly and have it in me for over a week(it fell out eventually and was yucky), I'd fear for a teen.
My experience is if you use a tampon you still need a pad anyway, as they cannot be trusted; they are messy too.
I also could not figure out how to use a tampon until college. It was terrible trying to figure it out, and painful!!!!
I agree with you. They make tampons for younger teens now. I was 11 when I got my period but didn't use a tampon until I was about 14 because I was on the HS swim team and needed it for that. I do not use pads except for at night. I can't stand the feel of them.
Never heard of such reasoning.
I used tampons from about my second period on.
Pads are just so gross. I couldn't stand them at 13 and never could imagine why anyone would.
Trusted tamping 100%. Never wore a pad with them.
Hearing that people weren't allowed to use tampons when they were younger is just completely foreign to me. I pretty much had no choice but to learn how to use them on the day of my very first period (I was 13), because I was a competitive swimmer and well....you pretty much have no other choice if you want to swim. My mom had pretty much showed me how prior to my period starting (she had no issues about tampon use and knew I was going to start soon enough) and so although it was a little confusing to figure it out at first, after a few tries I got it and after that I never looked back. Although I definitely alternate between pads and tampons (I often use pads as backups because my first day of period now are usually very heavy after having had kids), I definitely prefer tampons as they are so much easier and less messy.
I was almost 16 when I finally started my period. On a Labor Day beach weekend, no doubt. I never used a pad- started right away with tampons. By that time, I was so obsessed with actually starting my period (ALL my friends had by that time), that I knew exactly what to do and all that. I had done all my research- lol.
I guess if a girl is younger, a mother might be more wary of tampons? I have no idea what the big deal is with using tampons. My daughter is as small as I was, so I assume she'll be a late bloomer like me. Hopefully, I won't have to cross that bridge!
My dd is 10 and a long way from going through puberty (she's very small and undeveloped), but I can't imagine her figuring out how to use a tampon. I was 14 when I started using them and it really hurt the first few times. I persisted and eventually figured out the right way to insert them, etc.
I'm hoping my dd will continue to be a late bloomer and won't get her period until she's in high school! I got mine when I was 13, but I was much more developed than she is at this age. Most of the kids in my family are late bloomers so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
