Concern About Daughter Using Tampons

I did not read the other suggestions, but I would STRONGLY recommend a Diva Cup. If you don't know what it is, look it up. There is no risk for Toxic Shock Syndrome and is really quite reasonable to use.

Sometimes tampons and the like take some adjusting and getting used to. You have to get it placed appropriately and then it is not noticable at all.

I made the switch from pads to tampons at roughly that age. They are much more comfortable and cleaner. I have not used a pad in years other than for night sleeping. There really is no reason to not allow her to use them.

Tampons are always changing. I wear them every time and have no problem with them. I wish I had known about them when I was a teenager! It's especially nice when you play sports. They make sports ones and ones for teens.

The suggestions the other women have already given are very good. I would add that there are different types of tampons available these days and if she doesn't like one brand she may like another because they have different features (shape, applicator style, scented etc.). I would suggest staying away from the scented because they can cause irritation. There are different absorbency levels and she should use the one appropriate for her flow. My dad had custody of me when I started my period and he initially would only let me use pads until I outright stated that I was going to change to tampons. They are less off a hassle all the way around and if used properly should not cause any illness. I would also suggest from my own experience that if your daughter does decide to use tampons that she uses a new one after urinating, swimming or after getting the string wet in any way. When the string gets wet it can cause dampness and odor in underwear.

Hi R.,
I started using tampons at your daughter's age combined with a pantyliner (to prevent staining from leakage). There is much less mess and discomfort than walking around with a thick wet pad. They make very thin tampons that are very absorbent. Although, you will need to instruct your daughter to change them frequently to prevent toxic shock syndrome. I would suggest reading through the leaflet on the inside of the box together.

I have been using tampons since my first period. It was great and freed me up to do a lot of activities. Swimming, camping, etc. Not to mention it reduced my chances of having any embarrassing leakage problems at school.

I think there are a few things you can take into account, teach her how to use them properly (have her read the direction) and let her know how often she needs to change it. Recently I converted to a non-bleached tampon. You can by them at trader joes or any other health food store. They also have an item called the Keeper or Diva Cup. It is an alternative to tampons. You can sometimes get free samples from your OB/GYN. I don't know too much about it other than the woman I know who use it really like it. I think there is less risk of TSS. Although the risk of TSS if very low regardless.

Hope this helps. It sounds like you are probably raising a very independent woman!

Hi R.. Whoa, you got a lot of input on this subject. I'd just like to add that I use pads because I feel like tampons "block my flow". Periods are nothing to dread or have to hide by plugging it up. It's our automatic feminine cleansing ritual. Sure it's messy and inconvenient but life is. I try to always take it easy and pamper myself on the first day or two of my period. I use organic unbleached cotton tampons sometimes, but I usually use pads. Of course, when I was a teenager I didn't have this much confidence about bleeding and I used tampons only.(my mom used only tampons)Everything will be alright no matter what she chooses.
It's just a period.

If you do decide to let your daughter use tampons, make sure to explain to her first that she needs to use them responsibly if she wants to give them a try i.e; making sure to change them often to prevent TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome - which can happen if you leave a tampon in too long...) or infection. You could also make her read the whole instructions/warnings that come in the box to make sure she fully understands how to use them and the risks involved.
When I first started my period my mother gave me the option. I decided to try both and I preferred tampons, but still used pads at night because I was afraid of TSS. They now make "teen" tampons that are super slim and therefore a little more comfortable. If you feel that she is responsible enough to use them properly, I say let her give it a try so she can see for herself if she likes it or not... Good luck :)

You should let your daughter decide what she wants to use, but make sure you provide her with organic, unbleached tampons.

Even better is the Diva Cup.

But she should decide.
good luck.

Hi R.,

I think you will find that tampons are very different now (especially the applicator). They also make some that are just for teens.

I would let her try them and feel really blessed that she comes to you and asks you about things.

Best wishes

I'm with you....I have two teenage daughters and I have never been in favor of them using tampon. I personally think she is too young. My OBGYN told me many years ago the dangers in using them at a young age. Because of his advice, I have never had any trouble with my periods and occasionally will use them if we're going to the beach. My girls remain healthy as well. Openly, we share about the concerns and I try to be empathetic with their wishes. When we went to Hawaii a couple of years back, I allowed them to use them but only in the last couple of days of their cycle. I don't mind if they use them here or there, but they respect my concerns and they adhere to my wishes w/o argument. AND they always ask my permission up front so I'm aware of their usage. I've never heard of the diva cup. But if you're feeling the peer pressure, I would recommend buying organic tampons. The cotton in commercial brands are contaminated with pesticide residue which can cause hormonal disruption and lead to endometriosis and other disorders. Hoping for the best for you and your daughter!

Hi R.-

When I first started my period I tried tampons and they were uncomfortable. I tried them again a few years later and they were fine. I was a swimmer and really wanted to wear the tampons. I also found that certain brands worked better for my body. Someone mentioned that the Playtex tampon works well for her, for my body, Playtex is the worst, and Tampax works the best. My daughter is 12 and (knock wood) has not started yet but she and I have had lots of dialog regarding both. I have shown her how tampons work, and explained that they might not be comfortable at first, and explained TSS and how they need to be changed a lot. I started my period when I camping at the beach so I want her to be prepared for all!!

Good luck with whatever you decide, it's sure to be the right decision for you and your daughter.

If they are inserted correctly, you will not be able to feel them. I think that using pads is very unsanitary and your daughter may feel the same way. Think about it this way: When a woman wears a pad, you can smell her on her period. It's not pleasant. But when she wears a tampon, the smell stays inside. Maybe your daughter notices when other girls wear pads and is worried that she will smell too. I always think it's gross when I walk by a woman and can tell she's on her period. I only use pads when I am bleeding extra heavily or at night. Tampons do not take your virginitiy if you are wondering that also. They do not go in deep enough. Let her try them.

Maybe it's peer pressure? Who knows. I remember I started using them when I was in high school too. It was just the thing to do....then again, I was in water polo and the swim team. In any case, it's not something that I would share with boys...if that's a concern. Tampons are just honestly easier to conceal in your palm when leaving to use the bathroom from class than bulky pads. Maybe that's it?

There is no risk to using tampons as long as they are changed within the alloted timeframe. They are definitley more comfortable than pads, the brands do make a difference though, I have found playtex to be my favorite as I have experienced comfort issues with the others. They now have teen sizes which can also help with comfort for younger girls. This will become more of an issue if your daughter is active in athletics, pads can be bulky and messy when active. You both should give em a try! :)

I think it's just about whatever feels the best for her own body. My mother has used only pads her whole life, but from a young age (and a virgin), I found tampons to be far more comfortable for my (very petite) frame. I would be careful not to make her feel at all ashamed about wanting to try them, and try to provide her with as much information as possible to keep her body safe and comfortable. Keep a neutral attitude about the whole thing, and let her choose what is most comfortable and convenient for her life and her body. Her choice of tampons or pads has nothing to do with her future sexual decisions, so don't be afraid of that!

Hello R.. I've been using tampons since I was a teenager and much prefer them over pads. Using tampons allows for more physical activity, with the added plus of not having to sit in your "mess" till you change it. To me, it is more sanitary and when properly inserted, more comfortable (you don't even know it's there). I did start off with pads at first though, but once I discovered tampons, I never reverted back to them. Regarding your daughter, my daughter always used pads, but I noticed once she became sexually active, around 15/16, she wanted to use tampons as well. I don't think there is anything wrong with letting her use them as long as she knows the proper way to use them. Naturally, it is your choice, but I don't see it as being a huge deal. Good luck in your decision :)

If you decide to let her use tampons, I would just look at other healtier options. They put a lot of toxic chemicals into conventional diapers, pads, and tampons. And they can cause irritation and possibly even infertility long term in extreme cases. For myself, I found that after years of using tampons, my body started reacting against them with UTI's and pain "down there".

After doing some research I decided to try all natural cotton tampons by NatraCare. They are more expensive than regular tampons, but I didn't get the horrible reactions to them.

Then after more research, I decided to try using cloth pads instead of regular pads. It's been a year since I made the switch and I will never go back to regular pads. The cloth are much more comfortable and breathable to wear. And since my pads are right here with me, I never have to worry about "running out". I just soak and then wash them and put them in the drawer for the next time.

And if I need to use a tampon, I keep a stash of the Natracare ones on hand.

here is my experience:
My eldest is now 16. When she was 13.5, she got her period. She used pads the first time. By the second, she wanted out of the pad experience. It messed with the line of her clothes, was messy and she thought she could smell it. That child got down on the floor of the bathroom and went through a box of junior, slender tampax. Finally, she figured it out. Her friends (and mom) all gave her whatever advice they could.
our girls want to be like there friends. If there friends are using,so be it.
It won't hurt them, it is a personal choice.

My daughter is 13 and uses tampons. She just started over the summer because she's very active in swimming and beach, etc. I also started wearing them when I was 13 (which was a LONG time ago!) and I've never had a problem. They are safer than they were back then (regarding toxic shock). It took her about 1/2 hour to get the trick of inserting them, but has it down now. She loves them way more than pads.

I started using tampons when I was your daughters age. In high school I was a swimmer and you can't take off a week of paractice every month. I never had a problem with them. I still use them today.

Hey there!
I am 14 and I want to use them too. My overprotective mom wont let me, though. She said that they are gross and that she doesnt want me to use them until I am 15 or 16.
The thing is, your daughter wont know is she likes them until she tries them. If she doesnt, she doesnt. If she does, she does. Its our choice, not our parents. She just wants to be more comfitorabe. Pads these days feel like diapers.
Hope I helped!

Hi, There is nothing wrong with using a tampon. That is all I ever used. I used them from day one. (don't need anymore)
To me they are so much cleaner. One thing is that my mom did with me before I used them. She had one of my cousin's, that was older, explain to me all about them and the proper way to
use them. Until I got the hang of how to use them and when they need to be changed I did wear a pad too. I did't want to have any accident's. The best thing is to let her try them. Like you said you didn't care for it but doesn't mean she won't. Give her the chance.
Good luck R..

There's lots of good information at this request: http://www.mamasource.com/request/11697288027809251329 I hate tampons, and pads. I've been using a menstrual cup for years. I've tried to get my daughter (16) to use a cup or a tampon and she refuses - LOL Makes me crazy Good luck!

Hi,
I think it is a personal choice and perfectly safe for her to use them if she wants to. I was not even a teenager yet when I started my period and tried to start out with tampons - didn't work. But I was probably 14 or so when I started using them. They are so much better!! No mess, odor or leaks. I would never switch back.
Good luck!

let her try them, and if it doesnt work out she can always go back to pads. her body is different from yours and she may prefer them in the end. i myself cant stand pads and find tampons much more comfortable. good luck!

im not sure if they are availiable where you live, but in canada we have NatraCare Organic Cotton Tampons, they are a safe alternative to the normal chemical filled ones, and you may feel better about letting her use them.

I was very lucky- when I started my period (age 13) my mom gave me the option. I have always found tampons to be much more comfortable and the option of a no-show way to handle my period made me much more comfortable. I would definitely allow my daughter to use tampons- just make sure she knows to change the tampons often (the basic rule is to use a tampon which has the correct absorbency for your flow and to change the tampon each time you use the bathroon) to avoid toxic shock syndrome (from what I have heard this is extremely rare). I have been using tampons for almost 30 years will no ill effects....

When I started my mother didn't have pads (because she hated them) and so I used regular sized Tampons from the beginning. If she wants to try it and thinks it's more comfortable... If you are uneasy, then maybe you should take her to an OB and ask questions together. That way she will understand that if you leave it in too long there is a chance she can get an infection - and the advise will come from someone other than you.

R.,

Yes this situation as a mother makes us feel uneasy. Your daughter using grown up tampons.

I too tried them when I was young and we were going to go to the beach. It was very uncomfortable and I think in part b/c I didn't know how to put them on correctly it was very uncomfortable. Another thought might be the growing part, where our little bodies might just not be long enough to take an inserted tampon in regards to internal size.

My thoughts are consult her Doctor for suggestions.

An important key I think as a tampon user is that when you are inserting it, what I mean by this is that the best way to insert "comfortably" is standing with 1 leg proped on the side of the bathtub or on the side of the toilet. Avoid inserting when sitting on the toilet or in a sitting position, it is very uncomfortable and sometimes does not insert correctly or all the way as necessary for proper use.

Also, hygiene will play a very big role in order to avoid infection or overflow. I recommend 3-4 times throughout the day for freshness or at least 2 times during the school day.

Another thing for her to know is that she should also alternate using pads and tampons monthly, to give her internals a break. I usually do the tampon thing during the day at work (just more comfortable) and switching to pads for the evening and overnight.

Of course, this is if you decide to allow her to try them out.

I personally think that it is good exposure as a woman in the making but of course it all depends on you as her mother.

Well, this might actually help convince you to try them out once again now that you're older and wiser. When we're teens it is a bit different and a bit difficult. After I tried them as a teen I went back to the pads until I started college.

One more thing, have her try the different types of pads and maybe she'll be more happy with a different brand that possibly doesn't bulk up... Figure out why she wants to switch maybe that can be resolved.

Good luck and let me know if you need any more advice or support from another mom.

C. B.

I started using tampons when I was about 12 (I got my cycle when I was 10) I remember the first time I tried to use one I went through about four before I gave up! But I tried again with my mom's coaching and have never gone back. If you get them in correctly, you can't even tell you are wearing one. And I feel for me that they keep things a little cleaner. I say if she wants to, let her try. Start out with the slim ones with the plastic applicators, they are the easiest until you get the hang of it. Then I would recommend the cardboard applicators - they are much better for the environment.

Let her try the small ones to she what she thinks. Just don't have her use them at night and make sure she knows to change it on schedule. Just because you didn't like them doesn't mean they wont work for her. Its not like she can't just buy one in a vending machine w/o you anyway. Does she need to swim for PE at school? Then it is a must. Maybe she wants to be like her friends. Anyway its no big deal.

I am the same as you, tampons weren't comfortable and I have always used pads. I think it is a personal choice that you need to let your daughter make. She may try it and not like it, but you need to let her make that decission. I have seen in the travel size section of Target/Walmart/grocery stores where you can get a 2 pack of tampons. Try that first instead of buying a whole box and make sure she reads up on how to properly use them on the internet. Tampax has a website that gives all the important info.

If she really wants to try them I suggest you go get some and help her figure out how to use them. If you don't she is likely to get them from friends and use them anyway. The danger there is that it sets the standard for who she'll turn to for personal advice in the future.

Hi R. ! I kind of skimmed through some of the responses here and one thing that I didn't see mentioned was the fact maybe your daughter doesn't like the odor of being on her period. I know that I have a sensitive nose and it makes me nausiated to smell a woman on her cycle. Maybe someone said something to your daughter. I would not really question it I would just let her try the tampons.

Please please let her try them. Kids have enough problems trying to fit in at school...don't let this be another one. Maybe another woman that you guys trust who uses tampons can talk her through it the first time. My Aunt taught me talking through a bathroom door one year :)

Let her try. Remind her to read the instructions carefully.

It's her body and her cycle, so the decision should be hers.

Hi R., I'm 32 and have used them since age 15. I am a dancer (modern, jazz, ballet, etc.) and could never deal with a big pad showing thru our tight leotards. The concern with TSS is miniscule if that's your worry.
It's also less sloppy and in my opinion, keeps the odor in. Just make sure she changes it in a timely fashion (an more frequently if her flow requires). I prefer tampons as does my mother and aunt. You both may want to read the instructions and warnings together so you both have an understanding. Then let her try it herself. Sometimes if the tampon is too low it can be irritating, otherwise you quickly get used to it.
Good luck!

There is a very slight chance of TSS (toxic shock syndrome).

I was a tampon user for almost 40 years and have never had any problems.
If there is discomfort, it is usually caused from not inserting the tampon in far enough. It may take a few tries before she gets it right.

Insertion can be helped with a lubricant.

I feel that you should express to your daughter, that if she chooses to use a tampon there is nothing wrong with it. When you were a teenager and tried a tampon, and it felt uncomfortable, there is a possibilty that you inserted it wrong. A tampon should never hurt or feel uncomfortably when inserted correctly. I suggest her trying the O.B. brand, they are small with no plastic applicator. I hope my word of advice helps you!
-K.

I went to a babyshower this past weekend and this subject came up. The general opinion was that we all couldn't understand why our mothers never showed us or gave us Tampons. We hated pads and felt gross. I personally found a box under my moms sink. I read the directions and I think I might have even called the 800 number. I put my foot on the edge of the toilet and tried it out. I didn't put it in far enough and got rid of the applicator so it was very painfull to pull out a dry Tampon. The reason I tell you this is that if she wants to use them, she will use them. Wouldn't you rather she be confortable talking to you about it and you can tell her how often she needs to change them and help her find a type she likes?

Hi R.,
I would let her try tampons - she'll probably be more comfortable. She can always go back to pads if she doesn't like them. I started with tampons when I was 12 years old back in 1975 when pads were huge! I was so embarrassed to use those big pads and the tampons saved me. I would use them with a mini pad just in case of leakage. Just make sure she changes them regularly. I would also recommend getting unscented tampons. The perfumed tampons can irritate some people.

I know the cardboard applicators are better for the environment but the plastic applicators are more comfortable to use - especially the first time. You can always rinse off the plastic applicators and recycle them with the other household items.

Good luck!

I didn't make the switch to tampons until after my first was born. Once I did I wondered why I had waited so long...they are WAY better than pads. I would suggest getting some that are for light days and make sure they have an applicator so she can use them easily. Once she gets the hang of it she can move onto the bigger ones (for heavier days). I recommend Playtex gentle glide. The biggest reason that people have problems is that they don't get them in right and then it is uncomfortable. Once they are right you don't feel a thing and there much easier to control the flow with than pads. On my heavier days though I use a pad as well, just in case. Also, they come with instructions, complete with illustrations. Good Luck.

HEY R.,

Well, you tried it, why can's she!!!

Good Luck!!!

Just if she wants to try them then she should. Just because you had a bad experience, that doesn't mean you shouldn't let her try them.

I started using tampons when I was 12. My mother was apprehensive as well as she has never used them, but I was fine. I just read the directions and figured it out myself. Just make sure she knows that you shouldn't leave them in for more than 4 hours to avoid toxic shock.

Hi R.,

I definitely think that if she is curious about them, you should let her try them. I remember when I wanted to try them, I needed my Mom to explain to me how they go in and that the applicator doesn't go in with the rest of the tampon (which is very uncomfortable if you don't know that and try it). Once put in correctly, it was like nothing was there and very easy to use thereafter. I do have to say that my Dad was really concerned at the time because of toxic shock syndrome, but that is only if you leave it in too long (like two days or more too long) and I remember saying to him, "how would you like to have a bloody pad between your legs every day for seven days?" He quickly changed his tune and let me where them. Plus, if she wants to go swimming, etc. she won't have to worry. You really shouldn't be concerned. If you're unsure that you can give her the proper instructions on how to put one in, perhaps make an appt. at her doctor's office where she can talk to her about any questions she may have now that her body is going through all these changes.

good luck, always so hard when they start really showing signs of growing up;)

My mother and I went through the same thing about this same subject when I was 11, and needing to deal with it. I had very heavy flow, and the pads were bulky, leaky and uncomfortable. I was so embarrassed!

My mom checked with the doctor, and got the go-ahead to let me use tampons. I never looked back!! tampons are much more liberating. **Please get her the chlorine-free tampons from Whole Foods or another health food store.**

Good luck!

Dear R.:

I have the same experience as you do, regarding the use of these products.

I don't feel that wearing a tampon is immoral or anything like that either. I just feel that when you weigh the pros and cons of both, the pads come out ahead. They may not be convenient but they are safer. In my case, though, I do happen to know people who have had toxic shock and they weren't (as some people might think) foolish teenagers. These were responsible adults who knew what they were doing and STILL got sick. That's enough for me to chose the pads over the other.

Beyond that are a couple of other factors. I don't like chemicals inside of my body (or that of my child) and tampons are bleached cotton, etc. It is bad enough having to wear the pads against my body but the fact that the tampon is internal concerns me more. (There is lots of info. available about that online.)

Also, using tampons entails lots of contact with blood that is not necessary when you use a pad. I wince every time I'm in a public bathroom and there are red fingerprints on the trash and on the door lock. I always wonder if these ladies washed their hands BEFORE changing the product to avoid contaminating themselves.

I explained that to my daughter. I told her that this is largely a matter of preference and, to some extent, safety and that she needed to decide for herself. For now, she agrees with me. If she changes her mind in the future, I won't consider it a rejection of my values or anything like that. I just consider it unwise and I hope she continues to see that.

Best wishes,

M.

Hi R., I have 3 teenage dauthers and they as well as myself use tampons. I never really had to show any of them how to use them, they just read the directions. I only suggested to them to pub one foot up on the toilet, then its easier to put in...I know this sounds very strange talking about, but we're all women here and anything to help out a daughter!!!

M.

I personally was over 18 when I first used them because they FREAKED me out! But i played sports and now that I'm fine with them so I wished someone had convinced me that it was fine to use them (tight little volleyball short w/ a pad, so embarassing.) If she plays sports or even is a dancer or something tampons would be so much more convienent for the movement factor. Just make sure you have a talk w/ her about the importance of hygene and dangers of keeping them in too long. and make sure if she has any questions or concerns to come to you. And at least she is asking and didn't just go do it. You can teach the right way. Good luck!

Hi R.,

When I first used a tampon I had left the cardboard applicator in and it made it a very terrible experience. This was many many years ago. I learned the correct way to insert a tampon and I have not had any problems with it. When you tried it and you said it was uncomofrtable I wonder if you too may have left the cardboard in or perhaps did not insert it correctly. If inserted correclty, you should not feel anything whatsoever. That is the great thing about a tampon, you are not suppsoe to feel it once it is in there an can go on about your business. I used pads in the beginning as a teenager and theyw ere very uncomfortable and because they can be so bulky, always made me feel uncomfortable and self concious. I am sure you will do what is bets for your daughter and her needs. Hope this helps and good luck :-)

K.

As I was in ballet and swam a lot, I started using tampons very early. I think my mom just had me read the directions, or maybe told me a few tips, I can't realy remember. If inserted properly, you should not feel it. If it hurts, it usually isn't in far enough and you should start over with a new one. Make sure you buy ones with an applicator, most of them come that way, but I think a few brands still don't.

Some women (like me) are just not tampon people. But my sisters used tampons when they were 13ish years old and they were fine with them. I had lots of friends in school, both during junior high and high school, who used tampons without a problem. Just let her use them (and make sure she reads the directions carefully!), and see how she likes them.

Hi R., I agree with you, I tried then once to and it hurt, so like you I never tried again, my 19 year old still uses pads, some girls feel self consious about wearing pads thinking you can tell, like formy daughter is a dancer and she has to wear tu tu's and leotards, but she's afriand to use tapons, I would tell her how you feel, share your experience with her, and this and see if she changes her mind, Chances are some of her friends are using them so she wants to. J. L.

I was eleven when I started using them! BUT make sure if you do choose to let her wear tampons, make sure you show her how to use them. My mom didn't! I had to use tampons because I had such a heavy period the first time I leaked out of a thick pad! Then I wanted to go swimming the next time my period came. But like you said you tried them let her. My mother in law has put a lot of her insecurities on to her daughter and now she suffers because of them.

My Mom never showed me how to use tampons. I didn't even know they existed until I was at my friends cabin for the weekend ( during the summer). I was on my period and we were walking to the docks. On the walk - I gushed so much blood I about died (not literally - but I was very embarrased) my friend couldn't believe I was only wearing a pad. Needless to say, we went back to her cabin and she introduced me to tampons.

You don't say why you are uncomfortable with your daughter using them. Was it based on your one experience? If so, tampons are not uncomfortable, however, I did get one from a friend once that wasn't the kind I was used to and it was uncomfortable, so I guess you just have to find one that works for you. I say, have a talk to her about it and let her decide.

M.

Do not pass your prejudice on to your daughter. Tampons are your hang-up. The vast majority of women use tampons rather than pads. They are soooo much more comfortable and convenient for most of us! Not to mention reliable. To me your situation is no different than you being a user of roll-on deodorant and your daughter wanting to try solid. Would you feel unsure about that? Would you just not want your daughter to use solid because you prefer roll-on? Seems silly, doesn't it? Same thing here, but worse because of your prejudice. You said you gave tampons ONE TRY! You probably inserted it incorrectly, it was uncomfortable, so you never tried again. Not a lesson I would want to teach any of my kids. If something is uncomfortable or difficult the first time you try it, STOP! Never try it again. Buy the kid a box of tampons! ENCOURAGE her to read the instructions and try until she gets it in there comfortably. She has obviously heard from her friends that tampons are the way to go and pads are only for emergencies.

like many others here, I was involved in swimming AND ballet, and there just would have been no way to do either with pads. I always used tampons (just takes a little practice and RELAX!). I also felt "cleaner".

Now that I see some of the responses about organics (no bleaching, etc) I will certainly look into that myself. That's a really great point.

I admit I have used tampons at night, but I think that's frowned upon and it is better to use pads at night because really you're supposed to change them more often than that.

In the end just give your daughter all the info and let her decide!

Someone may have already said it but start with plastic applicator tampons such as kotex. They are easier to use for a beginner.

And if it's uncomfortable, it's not in right - in my opinion!

Be so thankful that your daughter felt comfortable enough to even ask you, or talk about it to you. It's so great she comes to you for "private" matters.

Just discuss it with her.... and be open.

For me, my Mom never told me about those things, and I pretty much "taught" myself... reading books and what not. I never really liked tampons myself...until college years.

Cherish all these moments... they are still our "little girls" after all....

All the best,
Susan

Hi R.,
I completely understand your concern. Many years ago when I started, I really wanted to use tampons because I felt less self-concious. Try as I might, I couldn't get it in comfortably. I was resigned to pads, but kept trying tampons. One day I finally got it. When in correctly, you can't feel them at all. When my daughter started 2 years ago, I explained pads and tampons and she felt more comfortable with pads. Maybe one day, she too will want to try tampons and I will support her. I think you have nothing to lose by letting your daughter try. She may not like it, but will never know until she tries. I hope I've helped. Hang in there.
Your friend through Mamasource, L. White

R.,
If you're not into them, i understand your hesitation. But really, do you want your daughter sitting on the sidelines on beach days and pool parties like you have done? If you put them in right, you feel nothing. The only reason I started wearing them was for a pool partie. I also had an uncomfortable experience (I couldn't get it out!). But boy am i glad I got over it because tampons are so much more comfortable than pads. I say you give them a try together. Make it a bonding experience.

Hi, R.,

Like some of the other respondents, I was a swimmer, so not using tampons would have meant no participation in the sport of swimming for a week a month for several years! Sitting out a week per month, swimming "wearing" a pad, or swimming without any "feminine protection," or absorbent material, is not an option for a serious competitive swimmer.

I am in favor of letting your daughter use tampons. This is the 21st century, not the 19th century. Why not benefit from modern conveniences?

If you feel uncomfortable using tampons and letting your daughter use tampons, then consider reading the instructions inside a box of tampons or letting someone who is a regular user of tampons show her how. If you can't help her or find a relative or friend who can, then ask a gynecologist to help her.

Good luck,
Lynne E

I was 14 (now 36) when I needed a tampon. My mom had not shown me how to use one, was fearful...for some reason I was unsure of (maybe the thought of the tampon in place would cause me to loose my virginity?)Anyway I was at my cousin's house and we were minutes away from going to the beach and that's all they had! I relied on my cousin to help and ended up not understanding that the cardboard comes off..and was sticking out! Embarrassing! I did try again and vowed to never go back to pads(I hadn't until I gave birth!)I felt that they were too bulky and didn't travel well in a small purse. I don't know what your fear is and most likely she's been in a situation where she's needed feminine protection and had limited options. I think it's great that she is asking you for help. My mother also took the opportunity to have a gynecological visit and discuss...boys.

I had to double read how old the girls are, 14 yrs old and one 11 months old... tampons have changed alot in the years, safer for a womens body, it is still the responsiblity of the women who uses them to make sure the same one doesn't stay in to long, go over the risk's with them, but heres the deal, why would you drive a volkswagon when you could have a limo..
I wore pads first then went and changed that , I was thank ful I did, some women it doesn't bother them, me, it was like 2 by 4's A waddle in the walk, be honest mom its really her business not yours since its her body... sorry

Buy organic tampons. The cotton in commercial brands are contaminated with pesticide residue which can cause hormonal disruption and lead to endometriosis and other disorders.
D. Merlin
Mother/author
www.victoryoveradhd.com

Go with the natural ones and teach her to be safe about them. Discuss TSS, which is in the pamphlet they include in the box.

I only used them when I needed to - swimming, etc.

You've gotten a lot of good advice, so I just want to add one piece. I work in a high school, and I know that for many girls, having their period is an intense time. There is a huge potential for embarrassment. The plus for tampons is that they are easier to "hide", be it in a purse, backpack or pocket. I can't over-emphasize how important peer standing is for these girls.

I also recommend OB tampons. If you are not comfortable helping your daughter insert them, perhaps her dr could help.

Oh -- and this is a great time to have a discussion about self-care and self-hygiene! (Something lots of teenagers could use :) ).

Hi, R.! I say let her try tampons...especially since you tried them once, too. Her experience may be far different from yours. It's perfectly ok that you aren't comfortable with them AND it's also perfectly ok that your daughter wants to give them a try and that she may like using them verses pads. And it usually takes a several tries with a tampon to get the hang of it. I didn't try them until I got to high school, but I'm so glad I did! Like other posters said, it just makes everything easier, and yes, cleaner. I only used pads for overnight (thicker ones) or on heavy days (a super thin one or a pantyliner) for back-up protection to the tampon (I have a Mirena IUC now, so my periods are super light to non-existent, so no need for either now).

I remember when I decided to try tampons, I tried the brand my Mom used-O.B.-and hated them (these have no applicator-I swear a good applicator makes all the difference!)! Talk about ouch factor on insertion!!! I tried several other brands and sizes after that and finally found a brand and range of sizes (depending on how heavy my flow was) that fit me perfectly and then I never strayed from that brand. Your daughter may have a similar experience-she'll just have to find what fits her best. :-)

Good luck and best wishes!
L.

R.,

It is sweet that you want to protect your daughter from "discomfort". However, don't all mothers learn from the very first months that there is only so much we can do to protect our children from discomfort and pain (take teething, for example)? It's called life and we can certainly protect our children from unnecessairy pain but there is alot of pain associated with growth that we are unable to "fix". Our role as mothers is to offer comfort, guidance and assurance that after the pain, life and growth will come. This will be more and more the reality as your daughters get older and they develop the necessairy responsibility and skills to take care of themselves.

Therefore, it is important, especially at this age, that you overcome your desire to over-protect your daughter and allow her the freedom to have controll over her own hygiene! This is very reasonable, considering her age. It already took alot of courage for her to ask you about tampons. Please support her and allow her to come to her own conclusions about what works for her. Tampons, when used correctly, have no associated pain or discomfort. They are just as effective as pads and offer greater freedom during menstruation. This can be very valuble, especially to girls who are interested in sports. Also, TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome) is no longer as much of a concern as it has been in past years, primairly because tampon manufacturers are using safer materials:

"Although scientists have recognized an association between TSS and tampon use, no firm causal link has been established. Research conducted by the CDC suggested that use of some high absorbency tampons increased the risk of TSS in menstruating women. A few specific tampon designs and high absorbency tampon materials were also found to have some association with increased risk of TSS. These products and materials are no longer used in tampons sold in the U.S. (The materials include polyester, carboxymethylcellulose and polyacrylate).[4] Tampons made with rayon do not appear to have a higher risk of TSS than cotton tampons of similar absorbency." Taken from Wikipedia.org

Also, though it may be tempting, please do not use TSS to scare your daughter into using pads instead of tampons. Give her support and information and let her come to her own conclusions.

I wish you the best.

Hi R.,

I just thought I would share with you my story. My mom forbid me from using them when I was a teenager. So I went behind her back. However, I relied on the advice of my teenage friends for how to insert them, when to change them etc. My advice is to let her. Teach her how important it is to be responsible about them. Talk about the risks of TSS. Tampons are all I use now and my children are aware of both options. They have not started their cycles, they are only 9 and 7, but I am hoping that we are open enough now that they will be more prepared when it does happen. Good luck.

I never used them until I started taking aqua aerobics at the gym. It might take some time to get used to them. She's just going to have to see if she likes them or not.

My cousin was never allowed to use them. My aunt was very religious and told her that if she used a tampon, she was no longer a virgin. My cousin had to have to hide using them. I guess it is just better to have an open dialog about those things. My aunt is still pretty crazy. My cousin is 35, and I'm pretty sure her mother still doesn't know.

Recall my response...

Oh my. I'm glad that I have boys. Here is probably too much information: I broke my own hymen using tampons. Then, when I lost my virginity my boyfriend did not believe that I was a virgin. I slightly regretted doing the job myself. If nothing else, I think that YOU should give tampons a second try. It is much, much less messy.

Hi R.,
I have been a tampon person. The first couple times I did not insert them correctly and that's when they are uncomfortable. They also make "Slim" tampons for younger girls. I agree with other post about switching to organic, but that is your choice. If your daughter wants to try them, why not. I always hated the way pads made me feel. I felt messy and gross, with tampons I could swim on my period and felt cleaner. Just make sure to read the instructions and discuss them with her. If they are not for her, then you have no worries. Good luck !

I don't think it's quite fair for you to put your apprehensions on your daughter. She is a different person from you and you should open up any and all experiences to her rather than closing them just because they didn't work for you. Tampons work great for some people and your daughter might be one of them. Don't discourage her, find a way to try all the different kinds of things and help her to make an informed and intelligent decision based on her needs, not yours.

Dear R.,
I know you have gotten a lot of responses, but I thought I would share a tip one of my girlfriends used with her daughter when she first started having periods. My friend allowed her daughter to decide for herself after showing her how a pad collected water and how a tampon collected water. After Haley saw how a tampon expanded, her eyes got HUGE and she decided not to use them. She is 16 now and does use them as she is in sports, but she also uses pads, too.
I suggest using OB regular sized tampons if she does want to use them. These are the only tampons I feel comfortable wearing because they expand outward in the natural shape of the vagina rather than expanding in length--which makes sitting uncomfortable. They come in 2 variations--one that you have to insert with your finger and the other has an applicator like most other brands. This brand has the least nonbiodegradible parts. (Usually just the plastic wrapper around the individual tampons.)
Also, they should be removed at least every 4 hours and a pad should be used at night. (We usually sleep 8 hours which means the pad would be in too long which could lead to toxic shock syndrome.)
Chances are that she will also find them uncomfortable just as you did, but let her decide. It is best to know what your child is doing, rather than her doing it behind your back. (Even something as simple as a tampon.)
Good luck and best wishes,
T.

PS I was a tampon user until after I had my son. Now, I find that they are just too uncomfortable...even 5 months later. Will it ever be the same down there again??? I would settle for similar!!! LOL

I started using tampons when I was 14. I was on the swim team, and pads were just not an option during swim season. They were the best decision I ever made. I would never go back to using pads. To me, there was nothing grosser than wearing a pad and feeling like I was "peeing" myself all day long. I suggest you let your daughter try that tampons and see if she likes them. Not everyone is comfortable with them, but there are so many different sizes, shapes and styles out there, that I would be willing to bet she can find something that fits her well and is comfortable.

I didn't get my period until a month before my 16th birthday. Being a physically active teenager (played several sports and dance), I never even considered pads. At 15, she is old enough to understand her own physical needs and limitations. If she were frightened or hesitant, she wouldn't be asking you for them. As parents, we tend to want to protect our kids as much as possible (my mother asked me ~15 times if I was sure), but trust that she has a pretty good grip what moving to a tampon means.

I want to add that I can't even imagine having to go through this with my child (I have 2 boys). It's funny that, at this point in my life, 15 sounds so young! Good luck to you!

I think that this is a personal choice for her. Let her try them. Discuss with her that it isn't good to use them back to back or for longer than 4 hours. She needs to wear a pad between. Research and discuss the risks of Toxic Shock Syndrome. Then let her make her own decision. She may not like them, like you. But at least she came to you first. Some kids just do it, before or never talk to their parents about it.

I personally love tampons. If you decide to let your daughter use tampons, please research and know about TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome) first. I've been using tampons for 10 years and never had a problem, but both she and you need to know about the risk and how to PREVENT it. Good luck!

I have 2 daughters 15 and 17. My 15 year old still uses pads my 17 year old started using tampons when she was 15, she paddles and it gave her the opportunity to do practice. I was shock at first but got over it. I explained to her the dangers and side effect that some people get. I also took her to her Ob/gyn to ask about Tampons. From what I learned is that there is one for teenagers. It saves them from the opps that sometimes can happen. For teenagers with a tampon it is easier to hide unlike a pad. I would ask her first of all why she wants to use tampons first. And go from there, it is not as bad as we as parents think.

I just went through this with my 13 year old. She wanted to try one and I let her, but she found them a little awkward to use (though she liked the convenience). She has gone back to pads for the time being, but will try them again when she's older. I had a hard time using tampons when I was her age, for the same reason, and used pads until sometime in high school, when I became more proficient at using them. Good luck!

Hi. What a topic.... just kidding I have been through this issue with my 11 year old. I also have 2 neices(12 and almost 15) both of these girls use tampons. The oldest has found that is makes the flow seem less, plus its not as messy. When I was this age I couldn't use tampons either. It wasn't until after my 2nd child that I could. Now I'm not sure how I could stand to wear a pad. My daughter(the 11 yr. old) tried tampons once, but wasn't okay with it. I think she was more nervous than anything. I told her the choice is hers. The have different options in tampons now days. If you decided to let her try I would buy the slim kind or OB to start with. But in the end its your choice. I guess my suggestion would be to talk to her and see if she really wants to try them. Either she will like them or she won't. Sometimes the hardest part is giving them a choice, I might not like- but then I have to remember its her body, she has a right to decide for herself. Hope this may help.