Tall Girl, Tall Parents

i'm a liberal, but this degree of political correctness makes me nut up.
why do you need to craft a response to a comment that has no hint of rudeness or judgment to it? why in this day and age is it inappropriate to comment on something that's so clearly a fact?
if there's nothing pejorative in the statement, there's no need to have a canned answer ready.
what's wrong with 'true fact' or 'yes, we're all tall' or 'she's brilliant too' or 'yes, she is,' or 'duh'?
okay. maybe not duh. but any other response that isn't rude and is appropriate for the situation.
the world is full of meanness and ugliness. i don't waste my time going into en garde mode against simple factual commentary.
khairete
S.

My 2 youngest granddaughters are big for their age. When its pointed out I respond that their dad is 6'4" and leave it at that. I use to get the opposite of being small for my age so height stuff never bothers me.

I taught my daughter the product of a 5'10" mom and 6'4" dad to say..."yep, I am tall like a fashion model and smart like a Ph.D."

It makes people stop and usually laugh a bit uncomfortably because they don't quite know what to think. My daughter is tall and beautiful and incredibly smart.

If they continue to talk to her she will tell them how she wants to be a doctor and continue with possible sub-specialities.

She is also in 4th grade....she likes being tall...(I hated it so I have been talking up the positives of being tall for years...) I have also warned her most of the boys won't catch up until college (some in high school) so be nice to the shorter boys they will grow eventually). Then she says, "Ewwwww!!

Say, "Yep." and move along with your day.

A standard measure of tallness is neither a matter of pride nor any kind of defect, perceived or otherwise. It just is what it is.

Please, please let this go. For your own sake.
My husband is 6'; I'm 4'11". You would get rich every time you heard someone tell my nine year old "you're going to be taller than your mom pretty soon".
It's Reality. It's a Fact. It doesn't bother me, I just wish I had a quarter for every time someone said it.

I'm also going to tell you that most of my life, being short has *never* mattered to me. Like, really, ever. I never felt that my life would be better if I was taller. I never hated being short. The only thing I hated when *other people* felt I should be sensitive about it. I mean, why? It's not a personal shortcoming! (see that pun there?! That's the attitude to have. Joke about it. NOT a big deal unless you make it one.)

I think it's weird you are asking this. Someone saying, "Wow, she's so tall!" should not be cause for concern about political correctness or spark defensiveness. My tall daughter is told that constantly and first thing out of my mouth is, "Yep, she's growing like a weed!" I'm 5'10" and a substitute teacher and the younger students always look up at me in awe and comment on my height which earns them a big smile from me. Please do not teach your child to be hyper sensitive about a very normal physical trait.

Just reply "Yep! She's tall and elegant!".
I'm 5'5", Hubby is 6'1'", and our son is 6'2" (he's 18 now) - just a little taller than Dad!
Son passed my height in the 5th grade.
My 'little guy' is way taller than me now!
It comes in handy for things on tall shelves.
If I want to hide something - I do it in low places now.

I disagree that it's taboo to mention someone's height. I don't see it as a big deal. When someone mentions her height, I would just say, "Yep!"

My boys are 2 1/2 years apart. My oldest is skinny and a teeny bit on the short side. My youngest is tall and husky. They are almost the same height. We get comments all the time. My boys are used to it. When someone says, "Really, they're not twins?" We just say, "Freaky, isn't it?"

You can't change genetics. There will still be those who make comments, so you just have to recognize that comments are part of life. Try not to make a big deal about it, and your daughter will learn to just blow it off and never let it bother her.

I think it is a weird thing to be upset about honestly. When people comment on the fact that my boys are short for their age (which is often since their father is over 6ft so many find their small size surprising) all I ever say is "yes they are, they get it from my side". It never occurred to me that this would ever be something someone would get offended by, it certainly does not offend me, I mean after all they are in fact short.

It's helpful to hear the other side of this issue...because my family is on the opposite side of the spectrum. I am only 5'1 and my husband is 5'11, but apparently my dd inherited the short genes. On top of that she's and extremely late bloomer (to the point that she's had all the endocrinology consultations). Anyway, she's 13, very little pubertal development and most people think shes only half way through elementary school. The doctors say everything is normal, just on the late end of the spectrum.
Anyway, you wouldn't believe the comments I've had to endure over the years. Yes, people always seem to think they need to tell me how small she is (like they don't think I've noticed???) Many say this in a very insulting way with the underlying, "what's wrong with her?"
I usually come back with "yes, we don't make them very big in our family"...everyone chuckles and that's the end of it. Sometimes I say, "she's a late bloomer...we're waiting for a nice growth spurt one of these days..."
I suppose you could say the opposite..."yes, we're making them bigger in this generation" or "she's taking after me".
If it makes you feel any better, I truly believe that the tall kids get more respect. They usually win all the school elections because kids think tall is older or smarter. They usually get more respect in general...probably just their physical presence makes people think they're more mature.
Your daughter may just be an early bloomer too. Sometimes kids grow early, then stop when they're about 12-13.
My dd starts high school next year...ugghh, I'm hoping she grows over the summer.
Try to find activities that use her height as an advantage...basketball, volleyball, etc. My kid is a great gymnast, one of the few sports where being small is an advantage. She will try out for cheerleading next year. They like the small ones to be flyers.
You just have to work with what you've got.

I love this post. we also are a tall family and it amazes me how people feel free to constantly say to my older daughter how tall she is. Can you imagine if I said to a well below average height boy how short he is? Or as my friend said when people commented all the time on how skinny she was. Would anyone dare go up to an overweight person and say "you are SO FAT!!" People say they mean well but I'm not always so sure. There is too thin and for girls, very tall can be difficult. I have no good comebacks though. Sometimes I shrug and say "yes, we're a tall family". Sometimes I say how my parents weren't very tall and I grew late so you never know. I hope people have good suggestions or realize it's rude in many cases to comment.

ETA - interesting it doesn't bother some people but I will say it bothers my daughter. And I understand as I've never liked being tall. It's usually considered good for a man to be very tall but not necessarily for a woman. Big difference between 80% and 99%. I still think it's insensitive. I'd really like to know how a boy who is short and doesn't like it would feel about people constantly pointing it out. And yes. I always tell my daughter how great it is to be tall bc what else can I do?

"Yup! She's tall."
Sounds about right.
My thoughts are this....she's tall. So?
Personally...I don't think your husband is "tall" nor you. Why? Because I am 5'11....I think it's normal! lol
My cousin is 6'7". THAT'S tall!
I remember being your daughter's age, being taller than everyone in class. It happened up until high school when everyone FINALLY caught up or surpassed me.
I think this is a funny thing to even be concerned about.

How odd, three of my four kids are really really tall considering how short their father is. Kind of like you. I mean you do know that 5'11 is not really tall but average for a guy? Anyway, never had a comment on their height. My younger son gets comments because he is skinny as a rail and tall, It is kind of unusual. Tall not so much. Seems to me if you are noticing the stray comment you enjoy it, and now you want more comments from us.

I can relate. I'm 5'11. I was the tallest in my class until the boys caught up in the 9/10th grade.. I was very self-conscious growing up and would slouch to hide my height..

As I got older I embraced it. I also modeled and did runway, in which often times I wasn't the tallest girl!

I would get comments all the time, and so would my mom about me. She simply smiled and said " yep, thank goodness for it".

I would usually make a joke when someone said anything about my height.." really? I hadn't noticed" or "yep, I am, and your shorter".. kind of thing.

It's not something to NOT be proud of. I find as I get older, my height is a good thing.

It's the way in which, as parents, how you respond that makes the difference.. no one really needs an explanation.. even a yep or- " that's a good observation " would suffice..

I got that as I was growing up. I was always in the back row when we were lined by height. Honestly, I was not comfortable being as tall as or taller than my teacher. But as I have grown older, I am totally fine with it==although I did stop growing and not as tall as expected. I raise my girls to be proud that they are tall and stand up straight with confidence. As for not commenting at all about a child's height, not sure about that. My son just turned 5. I was asked 2 weeks ago if I am homeschooling him since he does not go to school. He looks like he should at least be in first grade, maybe second. I know he will be the tallest child in kinder next year. People tend to be surprised when I say he wasn't old enough to start school. Sometimes I joke and other times, I just agree--depending on who the person is.

My daughter is in the mid-80th percentile and I get, "she's so tall!" comment a lot. Maybe it's because I'm only 5'2" so people are surprised? I'm proud of the fact that my daughter is tall and respond that yes, she is tall with pride -- I take it as a compliment. My husband is 5'11" if anyone was curious.

My niece is 6'2". Her mom is 6'1" and my brother, her dad, is 6'5".

She has two brothers - one 6'9" and one 6'11".

When she gets comments about her height? She responds I get to look ahead and rarely have a bad seat in the house! I'm proud of my height.

You cannot change people. There will ALWAYS be stupid people, ignorant people and some who can't keep their mouths shut. There's NOTHING wrong with commenting about someone's height. It's a COMMENT. SO WHAT?!?! STOP CHOOSING TO BE OFFENDED at the slightest comment. Say thanks! I'm proud of my height! I love it!

You can teach her to respond with quips that are cute or you can teach her to be offended. Which do you choose?

I think you and your daughter can be honest about your feelings when the comment is made. If you want to say "thank you", great. If you want to say "she gets it from her parents", great. If you want to say "how rude - in this day and age one should not comment one iota about a child's physical differences!!" - go ahead and say that, put the commenter in his/her place.

Avoid snarky comments like "her parents made her tall - I guess your parents made you a dog-faced hag", that sort of firey attitude won't help the situation. But I think any sincere reply, is totally fine.

ETA: I'm about 5'2", so I get comments about being short, which I don't mind, but, as I say above, I think it is okay to expresss displeasure with the comments if a person wants to do that. Also, as some posters say below, I would not consider you and your husband to really be "tall" at 5'10", but if you want to think of yourselves as tall, that is fine too!

It wouldn't bother me. I'd just say, "Yep, she is"...and then converse about something else. 5'10" is a little tall for a female. But nothing that noticeable and I think tall women look very elegant and beautiful. 5'11" for a male is not tall at all...I would guess a little below average but I wouldn't know. My husband, brothers, and BILs are all 6 feet even which I thought was average. I know in my son's class he has had some very tall girls....in 6th grade there were some girls taller than me (I'm 5'7"). I expect a lot of the boys will catch up to the girls in high school. Tell your daughter to just own it and be proud! Most likely many kids will all catch up to her in high school.

Does this bother your daughter? My oldest is extremely tall for her age. Her dad was 6 foot in 8th grade and she is following closely in his footsteps. People comment all the time about her height and she loves it. She especially loves that she is taller then me.

Give her role models of tall women who are fantastic: Robin Roberts, Jane Lynch, Nicole Kidman, Tyra Banks, Michelle Collins, Leslie Jones, Michelle Obama (and Malia Obama) and even the late Julia Child and Janet Reno. Point out that they are in MANY career paths - broadcasting/news, comedy, acting, cooking, attorney general... You get the idea. Google more and more of them so you have a real cross section in different careers - and don't just go for the athletes and the models, but also go for the brainy and perhaps lesser known ones.

Figure out some good-natured responses, like perhaps keeping a running count of how many people say "You should play basketball" or "How's the weather up there?"" A knowing glance and a slight smile exchanged, and then one of you says, "That's 25!" The observer says "25 what?" and you say "25 people this month who pointed out her height! We're going for 100!" Then either say that you all have made it a hobby to study all the awesome tall women (name a few including those they might not know) and your daughter is proud so be in such good company, then change the subject - "How about those Celtics?"

The other option is bemused silence, as if you are waiting for them to say something else. That silence can make them uncomfortable, and they won't say it again (we hope). What I would not do is launch into your completely understandable opinion that skin color, height, weight, etc. shouldn't matter. You're right, but it just makes people defensive. So I'd turn it into a non-issue by saying you embrace it and gee, aren't they just so fascinated by all the great tall women in so many fields? You could (subtly) comment that, back in the day, it was so hard for girls and women who didn't fit a certain body type but "fortunately we are past that now in 2016! They're even changing Barbie dolls to show all the different and wonderful body types, skin colors, hair textures and more. Isn't it great that today's girls aren't constrained by the old ideas of what's normal and what's not?"

If you get any push-back about "guys won't like it" or "what if she's taller than her boyfriend?" then you can address it specifically by saying you're part of a large group of parents who don't want their kids stuck in those stereotypes or wishing they were shorter than their men. Michelle Obama is a great example because she's tall, wears clothes that fit her body, and doesn't hesitate to wear heels that make her as taller or taller than her husband. And he's a secure man who doesn't get upset about it. That should help your daughter focus on surrounding herself with secure and accepting people who don't fixate on body types.

I was the tall girl all through school and yeah it kinda sucked getting the wow, youre tall...but it is what it is, I think I had someone remind me how boring it would be if we were all the same and I got over it! Your daughter will too if you don't make a deal out of it.

~I am the tallest female in my family and I'm only 5'8, so not tall...
I'm just saying height in grade school doesn't always correlate to adult height. And I see others have said but thought I'd chime in, at 5'11 I'd say your husband is average and considered at the top of not being short for a man. My husband is 6ft even & is at the bottom of the tall section, lol! It's cool how everyone has different opinions on what constitutes tall, ha! My FIL is only 5'9 & always tell my boys they can't be taller than him & in my head I'm like: Please let them be taller than you, at least 5'11!

.....Seriously? This is what is considered offensive these days? I mean, really, never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought being told you're tall is somehow insulting. I guess I have been offended since I was a child, since I was always told by people that I was short. One look at my parents though, and it wasn't THAT strange that I'd be 5'1" when dad was about 5'7" and mom was 5'3". I even played basketball in elementary school, and was one of the best on the team, to the shock of my coach. On the other hand, now that I am older, the fact I am short probably helps in making people think I am younger than I am, so I welcome it, even though some men have said I am too short for their taste, which is fine, because unconsciously, I am attracted to the shorter guys anyway because it makes it easier for me to wrap my arms around their neck without having to stand on a chair or a step :)

Now my kid is constantly told she is little (she prefers the term "petite") and has been told she looks like she is 6 years old, despite being 10. It seems to bother other people more than it bothers me. Doctors were asking for her bone growth chart until I told them I was slow in growing myself, I am 5'1" and her father is 5'5", and then they laid off. Mom is always telling me to tell her to jump so it will make her taller (?). Kiddo will be happy if she is my height she says, and she's less than a foot shorter than me, so it looks like she may just get her wish to be mama's height. It used to bother me that I was short because people made it out to be some huge flaw, but unless I am sitting in a movie theater and have a tall person in front of me (in which case I change seats and the short guy will suggest doing so before I even open my mouth because he can relate), it doesn't bother me anymore. Even when my mom and sister berate me for wearing flats at times and doing nothing to appear taller, I just don't care to be uncomfortable and wobbly.

My mom is always telling other kids that they are tall and look older than they are. The kids giggle and enjoy hearing that, so I am not sure why you think that is an insult, when it is in fact a compliment. Kids LOVE being told they look like a sophisticated teen, rather than being called a baby (some classmates called my daughter that), or a midget (I've been called that). I guess to me, pointing out someone's height is no different than saying "wow, your eyelashes are so long and dark" or "your eyes are so blue". Unless it is meant in an insulting way "wow, you look like Godzilla or the Green Giant", or "hey, little dwarf, go back to your mushroom house", I would not take being called tall or petite as an insult. It is just an observation, no different than being called full-figured versus slim or long-limbed. Facts are facts.

We all come in different shapes, colors, and sizes? And? So what? Accept the compliment, say "thank you, it sure makes shopping for jeans easier, since she doesn't need to have them hemmed" or "thank you, we're all on the tall side in my family, so it was bound to happen" and move on. Focus on more trivial things, like your child's confidence, education, ability to socialize, and growing her intelligence, than whether or not she is perceived as tall or what others think of her or you.

I get "You're so small" a lot. I don't take it as an insult or a compliment. It's an observation some people make. I usually don't say anything. What's there to say? Or "Yup!".

II did get some weird comments when I had my 95th and up percentile babies, in height and weight. "You couldn't possibly be their mother!", "How did you have those babies!", etc.

From strangers of course. My friends and family wouldn't say that kind of thing.

They mean well, as you say. "Well I am!".

We have some redheads on our family. People often say "You have red hair!". I've heard them say back "You have brown hair!". Sense of humor is good :)

Funny.......I always thought of that as a compliment? I will have to watch what I say to people. I'm about 5'5" and would love to be taller. My son has always been the tallest kid in his class, even at that age when the girls usually are taller. He/I could care less if people comment about it. My only struggle s trying to find pants to fit him!

My daughter is really tall for her age. She's completely off the chart. She owns it! We lovingly call her our Amazon Princess (In Wonder Woman fashion).
People comment all the time. It doesn't bother her and we aren't bothered by it either. My whole family is tall. I was the tall kid in school, I was taller than the boys too. We were recently at a birthday party for a friend who's a grade ahead and a bit older than my daughter and my daughter was still the tallest of all the kids invited from the birthday girl's class.
She didn't care!
The only thing we find issue with is she's having a hard time finding age appropriate clothing and with characters etc aimed at her age. I'm thankful the juniors section (Hot Topic FTW!) has a lot more fun "geeky" clothes to choose from now so she can find what she likes.
This is not one of those things to be offended over.

You're offended over this HOW and WHY? I don't get it. People get so easily upset. This is NOTHING to get upset over.

When they say something? Yep! She is! Isn't she a beauty? Otherwise?! STOP!! Please!! Stop finding things to be upset and offended over. Help her love her height by just saying YEP! She is! Love her to death!

i tell them yes, shes tall for her age.. and has a cousin that is 6'4... so its in her genes.

She has a taller mom and an average height dad, doesn't she? I guess I never thought that 5'11" was tall for a guy and I wouldn't think anyone would stop and make a comment about a woman who is 5'10", but maybe it depends. You only look tall when you are around short people :)

My oldest daughter was the tallest until like 7th grade. Then she basically stopped growing and now she is 5'9" as an adult (growing those last 2 inches all through high school). Don't assume that she will actually BE tall - if you make it part of her identity and she ends up being average height or even on the shorter than average side, to me that would be confusing for a kid. We kind of did that to my daughter unknowingly - she got signed up for "tall girl sports" for years but then many girls in high school shot way above her and she was no longer the "tall girl".

I agree with the part that just about anything seems to come out of folks nowadays! I am always surprised with what people will say out loud. I have my days where someone comments to one of my kids about a physical feature and I would love to point out one of their more unflattering features to shut them up :) we have a son who is only 5' tall and does NOT like to hear people comment on his height. He is nearly 18 and due to his special needs/disability will not get taller. We have another son who is extremely thin due to HIS special needs/disability - folks are always "he's so skinny - don't you feed him?" Ugh... No, I don't, you should probably call the authorities on me :)