I have a very smart 5 year old little girl that has a tendancy towards acting anxious - but never, ever in a school situation. She has always LOVED school!!! :( She was chosen in a lottery to attend a dual immersion (Spanish) Kindergarten in a school out of our boundaries. I did a TON of research about the program and thought we would give it a try cuz she was excited to learn Spanish. The only Kindergartener in our neighborhood at the time that would go to our zoned school was a little boy that my little one didn't know very well. But 2 of her closest friends from Preschool were attending the Dual Immersion school and would be in her same class. This was what swayed my decision the most. Now 2 months into school we are dealing with MAJOR school anxiety. "I hate school", "I never want to go back", teacher once prying her from my arms in the morning (now my hubby does carpool and doesn't have that problem, having a HUGE fear that she won't be picked up from school on time (and we have never been late). They are learning a lot in the Dual Immersion program but it is intense and there are children in there with behavioral problems that I don't think get addressed as they should cuz they are so focused on the curriculum and having the students "test" well. In our zoned school, the curriculum is much more lax, but they are learning a TON about social skills, interpersonal relationships, how to resolve conflict, not bullying, etc. We now have NINE Kindergarteners in our neighborhood that all play tennis with my little girl and all ride the bus together. They all LOVE school. I am thinking I may need to transfer her to the other school but don't know if I should do it right now?? Thoughts?
Yes, I am planning to talk to the principal and school counselor this week and sit in on the 2 Kindergarten classes to see which I think would be the best fit. I think I am just scared to death that we are going to go through the transition of switching, learning to ride the bus (which will be another hurdle since she has become hooked to my hip!) and that she will have the same problems at the new school! She is very strong willed and her tempermant at home has become completely unruly since starting this school and I just don't want to make another mistake by moving her. I feel completely at fault about all of this because I made the final decision about trying the Dual Immersion. Mommyhood is the hardest thing I have ever done!
Yes, I have talked to her about it and she has told us different stories. One was that a boy was hitting her, so we talked to the teacher, moved her away from the boy, etc. I have also volunteered in her class and saw that there are lots of kids with struggles (severely autistic, a couple with severe ADHD, etc.) She can't really verbalize "why" she doesn't like it, she just is completely anxious about every aspect of school all of the sudden. She has gone to 2 years of preschool at 2 different schools and absolutely LOVED school. So that is why I am feeling that it is the environment, not "school" itself
I'd say better now than later. Younger kids adjust faster. I think your daughter will enjoy going to school with her neighborhood friends.
If you do decide to switch her to the neighborhood school, right after the Christmas break would be the perfect time. It provides a natural longish break in the year, and some down time with family before the new adventure begins.
One of the things to think about as you try to make this decision - what is kindergarten for? What does your daughter need to learn this year? I sent my smarty-pants son to a regular kindergarten, and I'm so glad I did - he's one of the youngest kids in his grade, and the social skills and working-together lessons of his kindergarten year were valuable for my super-shy guy. The main thing he learned in kindergarten was how to work cooperatively and productively with peers, and also how not to be afraid of them. (This is a child who used to be too shy to speak to his own grandparents, let alone other kids.)
It really does sound like her current school is a very poor fit for her. And if she's never been anxious about school before, I'd have some hard questions for her teacher/school about what is really going on in her current classroom. Kids don't change from loving school to hating school without a reason. Perhaps spending some time observing in her class (long enough to become a "fly on the wall") so you can see what actually happens in there would help you make an informed decision. If they won't let you observe, that tells you something important, too.
Do not make the mistake of leaving her where she is simply because of the school calendar. If the problems at school aren't the kind that are likely to get better with effort, or if the school is making no effort to address problems, then you're not helping your child by leaving her there.
I taught K most of the time. I love K and my class always scored well and kids LOVED coming to school.
I would not wait to switch if you are going to switch. I would make sure though because you probally won't get invited back. Can you visit the other school for a few days?
Okay, deep breath.
First of all, have you talked to your daughter about it? Does she say it's hard, or the kids are mean, or she doesn't like the teacher? Have you met with her teacher to get HER input?
It's hard to give advice without fully knowing what's going on.
Changing schools MAY be a good idea, but if she has anxiety about school in general then that's something you'll need to deal with no matter where she goes.
kindergarten is so differnt than preschool. OUr preschool had 2 - 20 minutes group structured times per day.Then the kids could choose from 2 or 3 activities to participate in. There was usually a craft.. but if the child did not feel crafty they could choose to not do the craft..
Kindergarten.. most of the day is structured.. if there is a craft all kids do the craft at the same time.. much better behavior is expected.
The transition to kinder is very tough. it is tiring for these little ones to sit and listen and do what they are told. there are also more kids and less teachers.
So.. I am not sure that moving your child to a new class will change things. The new class could also have challenging kids.. kids with learning disabilities.. and if these kids dont happen to be in her kinder class. then they will likely be in her first grade...
certainly check out a different school.. but public education is exactly how you describe your childs school.. our kinder last year had 6 boysthat were pretty bad. they switched them around and my duaghters first grade class is pretty good.. (good kids) my son in kinder this year has really bad bunch of kids.. all of them are wild.. there is not a quiet shy one in the bunch.. but the teacher is trying and working very hard at getting them in shape.
This is a big decision, and you need to consider it carefully. Whatever the pros are, the big con will be the disruption of schedules adn adjusting to Kindergarten all over again. The new school will have different rules and different personalities at play, even if it is a better fot for your daughter there will be a tough transition period. Have you toured the ohter Kindergarten in question? Do they even have room for one more student? Have you spoken to the staff at the school, esspecially the Kindergarten teachers? What about the parents of the other Kindergarteners that your daughter plays tennis with? You need to really do your homework before making a decision, and remember that your daughter's anxiety may not improve in a new school. Do you have any ideas why she is so anxious? Is there stress at home? Sick family member, divorce, money trouble, etc? That may be the root of her anxiety rather than school itself. Best of luck!
I would not switch schools in the middle of the year. We too were given a spot for dual-language Spanish immersion, and I took it! Never mind none of the neighbors go there. Never mind there is no bus (that's complicated). The gift of knowing a second language is so worth it.
Now, your daughter could have anxiety and not like school in any school, so I'd be careful about saying it's the specific school. We are first grade now and it's going great! He does work hard and there is a lot to learn, but it's very worth it. The benefits of two language for the brain are just too strong to be ignored. Never mind the job aspect. Maybe it's a benefit for that too, but I'm near-native, took it up to the graduate level and I still feel like I struggle with natives. It's just...unless you start as a baby or tiny kid...it's tough. You need constant exposure. I started at age 12 and missed a window. My son started as a baby (I spoke to him) but it was the dual-language that really made him take off because it's consistent and designed to have him become bilingual. Because he started the program in kindergarten I know he can do this and be successful. Me, at age, 12? I WISH I'd had such a program at a tiny kid!!!
I don't think that switching schools in the middle of the year is a big deal, especially in kinder. I actually did it when I was in kinder myself and it was totally fine. I quickly made friends in the new school (moved 3000 miles so I didn't know anyone) and had no trouble adjusting (according to my mom). I don't remember being unhappy at all.
Reassure your daughter that this will be the last time she changes schools and that the neighborhood school will be her new school forever. It will ease the anxiety of switching again and, hopefully, help her like school again.
This is a tough situation. The anxiety could stem from the huge difference between preschool and K environment (they are very different), the dynamic of this particular group of kids and the teacher's ability in handling the behavior issues, or it could stem from an anxiety about learning a new language.
I have observed many bright kids (my son included) completely fall apart emotionally when suddenly immersed in a foreign language. They are used to being able to communicate effectively and efficiently and are used to having a huge vocabulary at their disposal. All of a sudden they don't know the words coming at them, they don't know how to communicate their needs, and they become very anxious.
I would definitely look into the other school. At the same time, keep encouraging her to think about what is bothering her and what she can do about it. It is extremely common for K students to be very stressed and anxious during the first 6 months (even if they did great in preschool). There were some kids in my son's K class that cried every day for the first half of the year. My son was very difficult to get onto the bus every day. He kept telling me that K was too hard and that he should just stay home (even though he was at the top of his class). It got better.
I don't think you should make a decision this early in the school year, but have options open.
Just wanted to weigh in here since I asked almost the exact same question at the exact same time last year. My son was chosen by lottery for a Direct Instruction charter school for kindergarten and we pulled him out mid year and returned him to his Montessori kindergarten to finish out the school year. He is now in a neighborhood public school this year and loving it! It is so important to find the right 'fit' for your child. If the immersion school isn't the right 'fit' for your daughter for whatever reason, don't be afraid to make a change, and the sooner the better. It has made all the difference for us!
