Supposed to Go Out Tomorrow, but Friends Don't Have a sitter...what Would U Do?

Go out and have a good time!!... But I will say this, "we can't find a sitter" is my go-to line when we really don't want to go somewhere. Just sayin.

Go out! And next time, have Plan A (with friends) and Plan B (alone) ready so that you don't have to waste time deciding what to do!

I would go out with my man and enjoy the time alone. You can set up a family get together for another night some other time. Just my opinion!

girl i would go out as planned. i would not turn it into a family event and i would not ask your sitter to stay with their kids.

I think you need to rekindle your relationship if you are asking, "What do we do now?", when you have a free night to yourself.

I'd say, "Sorry you can't make it, maybe anothe time," and go out yourselves. You're right, you cannot offer your sitter to look after six kids when the expectation was for just your children.

I'd like to add, though, that you're being hard on the other parents. They surely want to go out as much as you do, and are probably much more disappointed at not going out than you are at not having them along as you still get to head out the door for your night without the kids.

I don't know what it's like in your area, but around here (suburbs of Washington, D.C.) it is extremely hard to get a sitter unless perhaps one either has 1. healthy, reliable and willing relatives in the area or 2. a regular, paid daytime sitter who is willing to work an occasional evening. We've had good friends babysit sometimes, but they're professional single people with parents to look after, jobs and other commitments, live long distances away, etc....so it's lovely if they can do it, but they often can't.

The days of "get the teenagers in the neighborhood to do it" are long, long gone around here; the teens have "real" jobs or are so loaded with schoolwork, sports, and extracurricular stuff that they never even consider babysitting. Same goes for college-age kids; those college kids who do babysit around here usually want daytime sitting jobs or nannying work, not nighttime, "date time" sitting jobs that are only occasional.

So please don't judge the friends who "don't have a reliable pool of good sitters, or who just wait too long to call one." They may have tried everyone they can think of and not found anyone free to do it, or willing. Or they may be sitting at home furious because someone said yes and has bailed out on them -- they may not be telling you that because they know you have a sitter and are not thrilled with them for not being able to get one. If you've got a regular and reliable babysitter, treasure it, and consider passing that person's name along to others!

Do you really have to ask? Go out as planned. Go exactly where you were planning. You managed to find a sitter. Have a great time with the hubs, we all know it's hard to get out with all our family obligations, so take advantage. Have FUN!!!!!

Well I don't feel it's really fair to be mad at them. I don't leave my kids with anyone but grandparents and if they are not available we don't go. Maybe next time you could ask them to let you know if they can go and hav eall their plans made (i.e. sitter) by a certain date. If not, you will have plenty of tim eto adjust to having to be with only your husband or cancel your sitter. I mean, things happen. I don't have a "pool" of sitters because I don't leave my kids with just anyone.

It really depends upon what your priority is. You say you are desperate to get out with your husband -- but it sounds like you don't want to go out alone (just the two of you). Are you trying to cement a long-term relationship with these other families you invite? If so, you might want to lean towards changing to a family-based activity. And what does your husband want to do?

Since you say this cancellation issue keeps happening to you, I think you need to consider that there's something else going on. For example, are you selecting a restaurant that might be too expensive? If you tried to reschedule as a family outing in the past, do they attend...or still turn you down? Have your kids chonically out sick lately (with everything going around) and they don't want to be around your family out of fear of catching something? There could be a million reasons -- and not finding a sitter is a very simple, non-invasive response.

Just go out with your husband and have a good time. You don't want your babysitter to feel like you're letting her down every time either.

Hmmm...personally, I'd prefer to go out with my husband alone. How much better is it to spend time with your spouse when that connection between the two of you is so very important anyway. Sure, going out with friends may be nice once in a while, but all the time? I'd much better enjoy a nice quiet dinner with just my husband.

Have you called your sitter to ask what friends she has that would be willing and able to cover the other family (ies) on these occasions ... most good sitters network like this and get work from eachother ... otherwise GO OUT WITH HUBBY girl!

You could see if your sitter has a friend that would be willing to help her with all the kids- you pay your sitter, your friend's pay the friend, and just have all the kids at your house(if that's okay with you) if that doesn't work out- enjoy your night out with your husband!
~C.

I say go out with your husband and so something fun by yourselves since you already have a sitter lined up. A lot of parents don't trust sitters and only have one or two that they would leave their kids to which is why you're probably hearing that excuse a lot. My hubby and I have yet to get a sitter for our son (19 months). We either do date night at home while our son is sleeping or go on social outings with friends one at a time.

Seems like a no-brainer to me. Just go out with your husband.

Next time you make plans with one of these couples you should casually add that they should try and book their sitter as soon as they can so it's on the calendar.

We don't have a pool or sitters that we use. My mom is our primary babysitter on the rare occasion that we go out. She has canceled on us last minute before and our plans have unfortunately been canceled as well.

If you're desperate to go out with your husband just go out and try and have one of those "before we had kids" kind of nights.

Have fun.

Peace.

Go out with your husband! Keep your original plans and have a good time. It's thier loss.

Now that's just very sad. My husband and I wouldn't worry about the other couple but use that time to go out alone together. We were supposed to go out on Saturday night with a group of friends for a very fancy dinner. The date was set over a month ago but the planners didn't secure the venue for such a large party for a decent time for dinner. So the venue only had 9pm avaiable but that is really too late for dinner. So hubby and I are not going out with the group but will be going out for something a little more private and intimate instead.

I love reconnecting with my love either with or without the crowd.

I think that some people's issue isn't a reliable sitter but having to admit they can't afford a sitter because things are tight. Many people don't want you to know them like that.

Whatever the case is just enjoy your sitter watching the kids and have fun with hubby (adult time).

I'll be completely honest with you. We have 2 daughters and we only have 2 people we trust with them. My parents are deceased and hubby's family lives 2 hours away from us. I can count on one hand the number of times we've been out without children since giving birth 4 years ago. If I had one of my trusted sitters in place and the other couple cancelled I would still go. I'd simply tell them "So sorry you couldn't make it this time, hopefully it will work for us all to go out another time because we really enjoy your company." I wouldn't think twice about going without them. You handled your business and secured your sitter. Don't let her down by cancelling, she may be counting on that money. And I'm not sure I'd want my sitter stretched between 6 kids under the age of 7. There have been numerous times we've been invited out but had to pass because neither of our sitters were available. While it disappoints us we were not able to go, that is our choice. We're not upset with the other couples that are going out. Go and have a great time.

Do your own thing! Keep the reservations but change it to two and enjoy it!
I'd do anything to leave mine with a sitter but have a MAJOR momma's boy. He's slowly growing out of it but YIKES to leave him makes me feel horrible for the person he's staying with ;) I'd definitely stick to my plan and tell them, so sorry it's not going to work out out we'll have to plan for another time.

go out as a couple and I do know sitters are hard to find. :) teenagers find out last minute about a party and back out. :)

I say keep the sitter and have a date night!!

I would choose Door #1 -- Enjoy a private date night.

Let your friends know where you will be -- Tell 'em to join you if they find a baby sitter at the last minute.

Did you ask the sitter how she feels about 6 kids? You never know, she might be OK with it just to make the extra money. But I would recommend that only if you think she could handle them all. If not, I would still go out on the private date.

Go out alone with you husband! I like this better anyhow-we never really have the chance to talk one on one like that. We really only do things with other couples when the kids are with us.

if you have a sitter go out. Tell your friends that you are going "X" place and if they find a sitter let you know so you can make the reservation for 4 instead of 2. sometimes people honestly can't find a sitter. sometimes they just refuse to pay one and sometimes they hope you will volunteer yours. I am like you and think 7 kids would be to many for the sitter. but I would definitely go out.

if you have a good pool of babysitters yourself you might want to offer a phone number to these friends. or ask your sitter if she has any friends who sit that she could recommend. it is hard to find a sitter you trust. I know we had girls sit that we would cultivate when they hit about 7th grade and would keep them till they hit highschool and real jobs. but would always be on the lookout for the next one lol.

GO OUT!!!! If you have the sitter already, take advantage!! I would so totally still go out for a date night with the hubby!

Count your blessings that you have a great sitter, they're hard to find!
Call to confirm with friends they day before your plans, if they don't have a sitter then cancel. That way you won't have the last minute disappointed feeling.
If you really want to get together with friends invite them over to your house (with kids) and play a game while the kids watch a disney movie in the other room. If you're just wanting to get out, then go with hubby and have a great time.

just go out with your hubby and have fun. Of course it is fun with friends, but if you are looking forward to being out without your kids, then I wouldn't loose that chance.

Go out either with your husband or with your whole family.

Go out.
I can only commiserate with your friends who couldn't get a sitter. We had a regular sitter (almost always available within reason) but she grew up and left for college. She also had only lived 3 houses down, so even if it was late, it wasn't a big deal. Now, we live in BFE relative to any sitters. It is a minimum of 20 minutes drive into town and 20 min back to our house for me to go pick up a sitter, and then another round trip when we get home for the evening (whatever time that happens to be), so if I can't locate someone I trust, that is old enough to drive (and drive after midnight depending on the event/reason we need the sitter in the first place.. as many 16 yr olds cannot be driving past midnight per our state laws), that is willing AND available... then we can be stuck. And if you call someone, and it takes them a several days to get back to you whether or not they can do it, and then you have to call someone else... and wait to hear back... and all the while you have back up ideas... but can't act on them b/c you have the "offer" hanging out there.... and none of your family lives anywhere close by (as in 5 hours away)... then you have to say "sorry, couldn't get a sitter". And it sucks. And as a person who has had to tell another couple that, I would totally expect for them to go out without us. Why in the world wouldn't they?!

So go out. And have fun. Different people have different expectations about sitters. (As you've no doubt read in some of the previous responses). Some people actually hire sitters through agencies. Some people leave their kids with absolutely no one but family..either for trust or financial reasons. Some people use "no sitter" as an excuse. There is no hard and fast rule about this.... to each his own. But if they don't have a sitter, YOU should still use yours and go out. Just without them this time. No need to make another plan for next week or whatever, either. You don't have to "make up" the date with them.

Go out without them some and have a great date night!

Other times have family activities so they don't have to worry about getting a sitter, we do that a lot and it's always fun. We are of the type where we have a very hard time getting a sitter, and an even harder time affording one. We usually turn things down that requires us to not have our kids with us, not b/c we don't want to go, we just don't want the sitter hassle.

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I would go out, but as a person who doesn't use sitters at all (only grandparents, and even those only during an emergency), I don't tend to have this "problem." ;)

A lot of people don't trust sitters with their kids, so try not to have hard feelings toward those friends who don't.

I actually have never had a sitter. Not once. Grandparents or nothing for us. We take our kids out with us often.
I say go out! Especially since your sitter is confirmed. Next week plan something with that family again, and include kids. You can all go out for pizza, or have the family over for dinner.
On the other hand, I might consider asking the sitter for her opinion. She may not mind 6, and she may love the $$$.

I would talk to your sister. Ask her if she would prefer just yours or would like them all. From the time I was 12 to 16 I would watch kids all the time. 6 kids under 7 wouldn't have been a problem (even if there are babies)! PLUS, I would have LOVED the extra money!

If she would prefer not, then just head out with the hubs and have a great time!

Go out with your hubby and get that one on one that I'm sure like most parents, is lacking.
Group dates are great, but so is spending alone time with the one you love.

go out with your husband alone and keep the sitter. The family I cared for regularly (before I got to 38 weeks pregnant) woud do this all the time. They picked the days a month ahead of time for me so that it would work around my work schedule and would try to make plans with friends. If it didn't work out, then they made plans for themselves. They have told me, since I got pregnant, that time away from the kids with each other has helped their marriage stay positive and still focused on each other. They encouraged me to get a sitter as much as possible when I have this baby.

I think you are lucky cause we don't have a sitter either and don't know where to find one. Go out and have fun with your husband.

you have a sitter so take advantage of the time with your husband. do your date night and if they bail next time ask if they'd like to do something both families can do together.

Either cancel with the friends and just you and hubby go or do an activity both families can enjoy.

I'm personally one of those people who can't ever get a confirmed sitter. It's very hard for those of us who don't have family members capable to help us and you have no one near you that you trust enough to leave your children alone.

Always have a Plan B...especially if this happens to you repeatedly.

Go out & enjoy a date night just you & your husband. In the future, try to make plans well enough in advance so your friends can get someone...maybe this isn't the cause, maybe it is.

Don't automatically ump to conclusions that they are honestly trying to ditch you. My husband and I live in a town far from any grandparents, we dont know too many teenagers that are interested in babysitting (the only ones we know already have jobs, or would rather hang out with their friends on a Friday night.) The couples we would go out with also have children (and several) and we also dont think it is fair for one babysitter to get stuck with 7+ children...therefore we dont really have a sitter either, and we dont usually get to go out and do things with our friends. We always feel bad, but in this day and age, we feel like we cant leave our kids with just anyone. So, quite often, we end up saying "we just dont have a sitter." Even though we would like to get out sometimes.

That being said, I say go out with your husband tonight. No reason for you to be punished by missing out on a night on the town because others don't have anyone to watch their kids. Meantime, ask YOUR sitter if they may have a friend that would like to earn some extra cash by babysitting as well, and get the sitter's friend and your friends in touch...

You shouldnt be disappointed that is just you and your husband :( We call those nights "sexy nights" instead of date nights. We have wine together, talk, play games, karaoke, all kinds of things. I would go to dinner, have a glass of wine. Have a bottle ready at home and have a blast together :)

You should ask your sitter if she would mind to watch all of them. She might not mind at all, and it would be double money for her.

Go out don't change your plans just because for whatever reason they have no sitter or maybe they just don't want to get a sitter to go out a clue to me since it happens over & over,& I wouldn't ak your sitter to watch theirs too,nor will I opt to do a family activity just incase they decide not to do it with you for whatever reason they have

Why not just take the opportunity to go out and have a great date night with your hubby? That's what I'd do.

Go out by yourselves. No babysitter should watch all those kids alone.
Find other couples who value going out with you as much as you do.

Go out with your husband and enjoy the night!

I would still go.. you got a sitter don't waste it.. sure plan another time down the road to go out.. why not. don't take it personal though.. It could easily be waiting too long, not having a good sitter they can count on or feel comfortable with... definately no reason to feel like it is personal to you. Just have fun on a date with your husband on what you planned on doing. And once in a while sure... do a fun family thing. OR
even trade off with the friend. You watch their kids while they go out and they watch yours while you go out.. that is always a good break and then the two of you switch and make it even.

Keep your plans, sometimes the addition of another couple can really make an evening more stressful than fun.

Do think about doing some fun family activity night where everyone can come to one home or the other and everyone can have a blast. When we do this we do it like a pot luck but state something like "We'll provide the grill/fire, bring what you want to cook on it and some side dishes to go along".

I don't know what to tell you to do (personally, I'd go out just with the hubby - but we haven't been on a date in over a year, so I might have a different perspective!), but I do have something to say about not being able to find a sitter. We are THAT couple, the ones that can't get a sitter. Believe me, I'd LOVE to go out, but at the same time I hate to leave my daughter since I feel like I'm hardly with her as it is. Dates or nights out always sound good at the time, but then I get upset over leaving when it comes down to it. Here's my story. I work full-time (not my ideal) and I use up all of my babysitting options during the week. I have a mom friend one day a week, another mom friend one day a week and my parents watch her three days a week. I have an extremely limited pool of babysitters - those three people are pretty much it and they already have her every single week. I don't have siblings and my husband's siblings live an hour away. My daughter is very sensitive (probably my own fault for never leaving her, but it is what it is). I can't just leave her with a teenager that she hardly knows. We don't have regular people that we "hang out" with, so she's not used to being around anyone. She won't go to bed without me or my husband (not even with my mom!), so I can't put that on anyone - staying up with an upset 2 year old all night - and she'll be exhausted, throwing her off her schedule for the entire week. Her tiredness will probably make her sick and then I'll have to figure out what to do about work the whole week she's sick.

Haha - Okay, I realize that this is an overkill explanation, but it's perspective from the other side. It's a whole snowball effect leading to lots of stress. Even the stress of having to tell the other couple that I can't find a babysitter weighs on me. If the one babysitter I have lined up gets sick the day before the date (which happened last Saturday!) - that's it, I can't go out. So, try to be understanding. I KNOW my friends think I'm a flake half the time, but I truly can't help it.