Suggestions for Meal Time

Every child is different. One of mine is a fast eater and the other eats very slow. But, if I were you, I would stop the eating in fron tof the TV or having the TV on while eating. I have always felt that dinner time should be family time.

JMO but the 'normal' range will vary a lot from family to family. That said, my 7.5YO twins still easily take 30-45 minutes to finish dinner - hubby says that one of them in particular needs two mouths so she can keep eating while she talks non-stop!

Greetings D.: As the mother of 5 and now the grandmother of several sweethearts I had to giggle over the meal time delima. We have been blessed to live over seas and saw how other cultures did things with thier children. In Guam, parents were very relaxed with their children. My friends taught me to get my children to eat vegetables put it into Lumpia which is like a spring roll only smaller. The child could hold it easy and carry it around or sit in a chair and eat. I have one Grandchild, that is just to busy to eat so her mother feeds her on the run literally. As she cookd she is offering the child cooked carotts or vegetable, small pieces of meat to taste etc it does work.
So relax and just enjoy your child and know that it will be just fine - you can change the way you do things during the next growth spurt and thats what about every 6 weeks or so.
Good Luck and just enjoy the child. Nana G

Hi D.,

Don't let people give you a hard time for letting him eat in front of the TV. My little boy (now 2 1/2) has always eaten breakfast in front of the TV because I am NOT a morning person and quite frankly I like sitting with him in front of cartoons, eating my toast and drinking my coffee while he eats his oatmeal. We talk and watch and it's a lovely part of our routine. Breakfast often takes 45 minutes, but as long as you're both enjoying it and you're still engaging with him then I think there's nothing wrong with that.

As long as all of his meals aren't in front of the TV, he is still learning manners (as much as you can at age one), and you're still actively engaging with him - talking about what you're watching, etc - then let him eat in front of the TV. If you know he eats well in front of the TV and you let him eat one meal in front of the TV then at least you know he is getting one good meal a day and if he chooses to 'throw his food around' at the other 2 meals then so be it. He won't starve.

As an aside, this may not be the issue with you, but I found that I can't give my little boy snacks. If he snacks between meals he is not interested in his main meals and will mess about a lot more at the table. If you're giving him lots of snacks, that may be worth exploring.

Just my 2 cents. Enjoy your little peanut. I gotta tell you, they just get better and better.

D..x

D.,

My little one also just turned one and she can sit there and take up to a hour to get through a meal- so I hope that some of that is normal- I will often set her up with food while I am working in the kitchen or at the table- she will eat and "talk" while I can till get other things done. For her this seems to be entertainment enough.

Please stop having your child watch tv to eat by. It is not abnormal for a child to take a long time to eat (or to make a mess of his/her food while eating). Be patient. He may not be really hungry when it is mealtime. Be sure you are not giving him too much juice/milk/snacks between meals. Children should eat when they are hungry. Also remember their portions will be small. Think of the whole "your stomach is the size of your fist" thing and then look at the size of his little fist.

Above all remember this too will (should) pass.

Don't worry unless he starts to lose weight.

My question is do you all eat at a family dinner table? If you are able to let him sit and watch a DVD, it sounds like he may be eating by himself and the rest of the family eating together at a different time. I think it's important to have th family meal together at least once a day and use that time to teach good eating habits as well as good table manners. As far as the amount of time is concerned, I think at least half an hour should be set aside for a meal for a young child. They do tend to 'play' with their food some, (which you need to work on teaching them not to do of course) and besides that we all need to learn to slow down on our eating. One of the reasons we have so much obesity in this country is that we rush through meals and our food doesn't digest as well as it should. I know it's difficult to get an active child to sit still, but if the dinner conversation is interesting to him, meaning you have to have some child-focused conversation as well as some adult conversation, and you are spending some relaxed time with him at the table, you should be able to help him learn to eat without resorting to the use of the DVD.

Why not let him graze as best as that is possible with a 1 year old. When is playing and moving around let me him take a bit or spoonful of something. The eating in front of the tv is a habit you don't want to keep as you are not mindful of eating and listening to your bodies signals of hunger and fullness. Your son won't starve himself, so just offer food during the day in the course of his activities rather than having him zone out and eat in front of the tv

Mine does this to me at breakfast now, especially at summer break, but he's almost 5 years old. A 1 year old is way too young to be watching t.v. while he eats (for that matter, so is my son!). Find another way to 'keep him at the table' (he's got a highchair, right?) And, at age 1, I see no reason why you can't help him eat. Isn't he a bit young to be managing that completely on his own? Eat your meals together at a proper table as much as you can, and as he gets older, make some exceptions, like a movie night when the entire family eats together in front of the t.v. That will come in the next 2 years. Favor books, toys or other, but not t.v. at this tender age; you'll see how t.v. will get way too important if you don't quell it a bit now. At age 1, 1 hour a day, half of which you should be with him, is enough. A 30-min. baby einstein while cuddling with mama is so nice ... but by himself, it's not so good.

TV=absent minded eating, which as he ages will lead to over eating and over weight, unhealthy habits.

Children' can't sit at the table for 45 mins and shouldn't be expected to do so, in my opinion.

Give him his food, and when he is done he can asked to be excused. (I know, that sounds weird.) My daughter wiped her mouth with the napkin and said, "Done, please." Yes, we coached her to go this, but once she had it down, she did it on her own consistantly.

She is 8 yrs. old and every evening, she wipes her face, folds her napkin (thank you, Montessori pre-school), and says, "My I please be excused." Then she clears her plate.

This is not a discussion ever because it's an expectation and was started very young.

As soon as she started having her own silverware, we started putting it at her place at the proper places, so she would learn where it went.

Don't get me wrong here. We're not Manners Central, but I don't want her to be in a situation and look silly simply because no one taught the proper way.

BTW, people comment on how nice her manners are and she is proud because it is something she does without being reminded or asked. She sees how other children chew with their mouths open (Yuck!) and how they talk with food in their mouths (Yuck!) and chooses not to do that. Although, I hear at school the kids have organized disgusting eating habits days and they all let food fall out of their mouths as they eat, even my daughter. (LOL)

Anyway, drop the TV, let him eat until he is full, and set him free to play.

For a while I fed our daughter her meal a few hours before we ate and let her have fun food at the table...Cheereos, chunks of veggies, etc. It was more of play time with her food, but she was with us at the table for as long as she could be there.

Stephanie

Hi D.,

I just wanted to add my two cents! It looks like you have a bunch of good advice though. I personally don't let my girls play with toys or watch TV while we eat, but I don't have a problem with getting them to eat either!! I don't know if your child is sitting in a seat while eating but I have learned that it helps me a lot. Even when they get antsy they are strapped in and can't run out and play!

Hope that helps,
C.

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