Suddenly Afraid to Go Potty in Public

Updated on May 04, 2009
C.H. asks from Camas, WA
10 answers

My daughter, Addison (3), recently went to a public bathroom with an automatic flushing toilet. It flushed while she was on it and scared her bad! Since then she is afraid to sit on public potties, no matter what type. We were even in a restaurant today that had a potty similar to one in a home but she would not use it. She is now holding her pee pee and poop for up to 6 hours to get to my home or someone else's home to use the potty there. I've tried...if you use the potty we can have that ice cream or other special treats I know she would LOVE to have. I'm really concerned and would like advise. Thank you!

1 mom found this helpful

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A.W.

answers from Seattle on

My son had the same experience! We were at the ferry landing in Anacortes and the toilet flushed while he was on it... it scared him too.

What I had to do with him was use the toilet first and then flush and then have him go. Also, he will not use toilets that flush automatically, so sometimes I have to find a different bathroom.

I dont know if that helps, but I wanted to tell you it happenned to me too! See if going potty before her makes a difference....

Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from Portland on

The same thing happened to my daughter when she was 3. She hated the "magic flushers". She still does. She asks if its a magic flusher every time. She's very petite so it'll flush on her every time. I just cover up the sensor, and then when she's done, I wait til she covers her ears and then let it flush. The first few times after the incident it took a lot of promising that it wouldn't flush. I told her I was right there and that I turned off the magic.

This won't last forever, but it sure is a rough road now. Good luck!
S.

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

Here comes my tired old saying that a very good friend said to me... there are three things you can not make a toddler do, eat, sleep, and poop...sigh.

Back off for a bit. And let her work through some of it on her own. Go into the public bathrooms and show not fear without asking her to use the bathroom. In a few weeks show her how the toilet works with out asking her to use the bathrooms. Let it becomes somewhat of a toy. But don't ask her to use the toilet. I bet she will ask to use the toilet on her own when she sees how the toilet works and that she is really in control of it.

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Don't worry - it's just a phase. Thankfully she's so good at holding it, rather than wetting her pants, right?!? My girls have both been through the afraid-of-public-toilets phase. Let her see you use them and tell her how it's okay, how the sensor works, why they flush automatically . . . I used to squat right in front of my daughter while she went or hold my hand in front of the sensor so that it wouldn't flush while she was on it.

The thing is, even if you strip them, set them on the toilet and command them to go, you still can't make them. So you just have to ride it out. Ask her before you leave home or a friend's house if she would like to go now or use the potty at the store - don't threaten or make using the potty at the store an undesirable thing, just her choice of two equals.

I'd guess it might last for a few months. Blessings!

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D.F.

answers from Portland on

My daughter is 4 and is going through the same thing. She also has developed a skill to hold it in till she gets home. We often cut activities short because of it - if she has to go bad enough she will be ready to go.

It is just a phase and hopefully a short one. Seems like loud sounds of all kinds are scary once again right now. Hopefully this will not last long. I know it is frustrating and disappointing, but no amount of bribing or coaxing works for my daughter. No infections yet either!

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E.K.

answers from Seattle on

This happened to my daughter too, and it shook her up quite a bit. My advice would be to allow her to be afraid of it for a while - i.e. don't push the public toilet idea or bribe her. I carried a diaper along, and let my daughter look at a public toilet and then decide if she wanted to use the diaper or the toilet. We'd throw the diaper out right away. She felt validated in her fears (she continues to be a sensitive kid, but is getting bolder - I think it was important for her to know that I was okay with her worries) and also got the poops out! The stage only lasted a few weeks. There are also these foldable toilet seats that are made for parents to carry in their diaper bag, that sit on top of a toilet and make the hole a little smaller - sometimes something constant like that can help, but it doesn't stop the automatic toilet from going!

Hope that helps!

E.

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S.G.

answers from Medford on

Hi, I have also dealt with those horrible automatic flushing toilets with my 4yr. old daughter, I had the hardest time getting her to use the potty after that. I now use these square princess stickers and put them on the back were the sensor is on the toilet,and I just told her the princess is going to keep you safe from the toilet flushing, and surprisingly it worked. You have get the thik ones or else they will stick to the sensor.That way all you have to do is throw away the sticker when your done and give her one for her shirt, or hand. Hope this helps.

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S.H.

answers from Portland on

I keep stiky notes in my purse and put them over the auto flusher to keep it from flushing. I also let her hold her ears and I'll hold her if that helps. It is still loud when other people flush but at least the one she is using doesn't flush on her.

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T.R.

answers from Bellingham on

We are going through the same thing right now with our 3 year old. She is afraid of the public toilets because they flush so loud. We have to tell her every time, some times it takes a little convincing, that we promise not to flush. Sometimes she still wont go for me, so I get my husband to take her, and she will go for him. I hope they grow out of this soon. :) None of us like public toilets but sometimes they are a necessity. :) good luck.

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B.Y.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter is 12 and she still gets the heby jeebys when she has to use one of those tolets. Not sure what helps other than to tell her it is safe, and to ask her to trust me.
I would ask if they have an employee bathroom or one that is the old fashioned type.
I was just at the double tree in Sea Tac, and in their bathroom they had 1 old fashioned one with all the others as new ones.
Good luck

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