Stubborn Tot--idea What I Could Do or What's Wrong?

my only recommendation is to avoid offering solutions to him....you said you tried to distract him, feed him, give him a drink, etc - stop that merry-go-round!......pick one method & stick to it.

Give him an opportunity to accept your offer & if he doesn't, then place him in time-out in your arms.
Talk to him soothingly, but do not release him.
Do not plead, do not try to cajole him. Simply speak quietly & calmly....& continue to hold him. Eventually he'll realize that the "round" is over & he'll calm. He may not cooperate, but at least he will know that he is secure in your arms.

When kids act out like this, they feed off of the negative energy presented by adults. They know you're stressed, they know you're feeling awkward over their behavior, & they know you're feeling shame....& they feed off of that angst.

I would also follow thru on additional testing. His behavior is a concern & not necessarily that of a high-spirited/high energy child.

Have you ever watched the "1-2-3 Magic" video? It's an excellent tool for learning how to discipline your child. In your case, it would teach you how to remain calm & in charge during these episodes! I wish you Peace.

Oh gosh.

Does he get enough sleep and naps?
Some kids when tired/over-tired, are perpetually in a bad mood... and they have nil patience and get rougher when they are tired.

My son, when tired, is more HYPER and rougher and cantankerous.
But when he is rested, he is not.
My son, still naps most days.

My son also was speech delayed, but that did NOT in any way, affect his behavior or communication ability. He did have speech therapy.

But sure, follow up with any assessments on him or evaluations.

Maybe he is sensory sensitive?

You just described my son to a Tee. He is 2 and a half and is very. very difficult. I have had him evaluated and he does have a speech delay which he has a speech therapy for. But besides that, nothing is wrong with him. He is just a high spirited kid. Whenever I take him to the Doctors office, he does the same thing. Last time we went he took the hammer looking thing out of his pediatricians pocket and hit him with it.. and vaccinations.. oie, it takes three nurses and me to hold him down. Its really a nightmare. Ive tried giving him a lollipop to suck on while we wait in the waiting room and that usually calms him down for a few minutes. Every one aways commends me for being able to be a loving, patient mother to him and I think he appreciates me for it too because when everyone else leaves the room, Im still there.

What type of environment will the evaluation be done in? You might want them to see how he acts in different situations, like if he's fine at home but acts out in new places. If you do put him in a daycare, make sure you know up front what their discipline policies are.

When my son was 3, I put him in Mother's Day Out, but he had behavior issues. It was frustrating to pay for MDO, but then be called to pick him up after only 30 minutes. Finally, the teachers suggested having him evaluated for speech, thinking he was acting out from the frustration of not being understood. He qualified for speech, but they found nothing wrong with his behavior in a room with the undivided attention of 2 teachers. They didn't see how he acted when there were other kids in the room. When he was 5, we finally found out that he has Aspergers.