Is This Normal 2 Year Old Behavior?

You've gotten some great advise, but please don't wait.... My son at 2 and 3 didn't speak as much as others and chalked it up to he's a boy and learns slower.. however he is now 4 1/2 and still doesn't have a vocabulary.... I wish I wouldn't have waited...

It's so hard to tell with kids this age what is normal and what is a sign of a problem. If I were you, I would call ECI and have them evaluate him. If nothing else, it will give you piece of mind and it's free. They can also usually suggest things to try even if he doesn't qualify for their programs. You can also talk to his pediatrician about it, but if they blow you off and you are concerned, call ECI anyway. I agree with the post not to wait. Especially since it sounds like his frustration level with not being understood is extremely high. Good luck!

It could be normal, but I don't like the sound of it. I would make some detailed notes of the things you see in a week and then take him to the pedi and see what he says. My sister is autistic and some of what you describe is familiar. I hope I'm wrong and he's just going through a hard time. Good luck!

At his age I would first get a evaluation from your local ECI (Early Childhood Intervention). The evaluation is free and they can give you therapy for free or next to free. It is a good place to start. I would ask for a full evaluation, not just speech, just to save time (in case they think there are other issues) and to know what you are dealing with from the beginning.

About what your husband says...a mother usually knows when something isn't right. Follow your instincts. Better to get some evaluations and have them tell you he's fine that to wait and find out later that he needed help. The earlier the intervention, the better.

Good luck!

Hey C.
I'm a speech therapist and just wanted to take a minute to encourage you to go ahead and have him evaluated. ECI is a great option but since he is almost 3 I have another option for you. Check in to Miller Speech and Hearing Clinic on the TCU campus. Graduate students and undergraduates do the therapy. They are supervised by therapists that have their master's or doctorate degree. It is a cheaper option. Feel free to contact me if you would like.
A.

Definately not entirely normal but I do know what you are going through. My boys do not have as many issues acting out but are also nonverbal. You can get an eval from ECI, Our Children's House at Baylor, or other therapy places. The evals are usually free or covered 100% by insurance if you have it. One caution on ECI, they will give you an idea of where the gaps are and hlp you figure out some things to work on with him but they are stretched thin and will not be able to provide the volume of service he probably needs especially since at 3 he will transition to the school district for services. The best thing I did was to start my boys on some nutritional detox protocols. Some kids are really affected by toxins that they come into contact with. My boys were. They had high levels of metals that were impacting their ability to learn from the environment around them. It has been a night and day difference for my boys. Now that the metals are not impacting them they are picking up on so much more and it is making the therapy so much more effective than it would have been otherwise. My boys are also going to the preverbal program at Callier which is incredible. If you have any questions about providers and things to try I would be happy to share information with you.

SEE A SPEECH THERAPIST, NOW.

While you are waiting for appt to arrive, go to your library or online and start learning sign language for the simple things you and he need to say. Then you can see if it helps the fits when he is able to communicate with you. Good luck.

Have you had him to the doctor? I would check his hearing.

Speech therapy would definitely help him learn to communicate and then maybe the other behaviors would decrease. I am a speech therapist at Jump Start Pediatric Therapy Center and we would love to help your child become more verbal. www.jumpstartcenter.com You can also try the school district - they have speech therapists too and a Preschool Program if he qualifies when he turns three. You can also try ECI - they come in your home can provide you with a full evaluation including social and behavioral development. Hope that this helps - L.

Hi C.,
No this behavior is not totally normal. Here are the thoughts that roll through my head:
*has his hearing been check---any history of chronic ear infections?
*Does he respond to directives when asked? (one to two step ones)

He can be assessed but at this point it would be through ECI. When he is three the school district picks up the care. I HIGHLY recommend getting help now for him.....I taught PPCD for children with developmental delays.....it was amazing to see how much progress. Walk in speech and other options are usually available to meet all the different needs encountered......

Good luck, but definitely look into some help.

You have gotten some great advice. I only have one thing to add. Don't wait. It may be that your child is just sensitive, but maybe not. and early intervention can make a huge difference. It could be as startling as the difference between struggling all the way through school or a smooth school experience. Your son is lucky to have a mom that is attentive.

I went through something similar with my daughter who is now 3 and 1/2, except for the pinching. She got better when her vocabulary got better to understand her.
I almost took her to a sign language class, so we could communicate much better.
I do still use time out to her room though for poor choices. If she comes out before times up, she just gets more time. I set a timer for 3 minutes (1 minute per age)She hates time out and kicks all the way to her room, but it tends to work if we stay consistent. I think she is just a strong willed child because I don't remember going through this with either of my other children, but it could be my selective memory loss though! hehe!

Hope it gets better for you! If you are interested in a signing class here is a website I found:

http://www.metroplexbaby.com/The%20Scoop/Classes/classes_...

No, it is not just a boy thing or a 2 year old thing. It sounds like he is acting out because he can not communicate. At this age he should be putting two words together and be more intelligible, especially to you since you are around him more. Do not wait, call ECI as soon as you can even though he will be turning three in a few months. If he goes through ECI then his evaluation through the school district will occur before he turns three and he will start services on his third birthday with no lag time. The sooner you get him help, the faster he will get through this. I am a speech therapist and have seen this many times. You are not alone, but this is not the norm.

I hope you listen to your gut! You can call ECI , Early Childhood Intervention and get an evalutaion. They use to be free but I believe you have to pay minimal now. Your pediatrician will not help. They always say to stick it out or "its just the terrible twos" . I am sooo happy I did not listen to anyone but myself for my child. I would have wasted valuable time if I didn't go with my gut. I wasn't thrilled with ECI but they headed me in the right direction and it was quicker than getting into a developmental Peditricain (8 month wait!). If you are interested in more help you can surely email me.
Good luck, L.

I would start with a speech evaluation. I had my second son tested due to lack of speaking around two. Contact your pediatrician and they can set it up - it is free and they come to your home.

The tantrum behavior could easily be coming from his worries that he isn't being heard and the sooner you guys can communicate better with each other, the better off you will be!

I have three boys and know that they are just much more physical and loud. Some of what you are dealing with might be boy behavior too.

Even though all this might just be normal for him, please have it checked out. One of my sons has Sensory Processing Disorder which made our life really difficult until we knew how to deal with is. Now things are much better once we have gained knowledge.

I would also mention the fluid thing to the pediatrician - you may want to switch to water only for awhile and see if that doesn't make his meal time easier.

Whew. That was probably more information than you wanted! Don't hesitate to contact me if you have specific questions about anything I said.

C.,

I have an almost 3 year little girl and she does whine and gets frustrated when we can't understand what she is saying, but once we figure it out...she is fine. I would just double check with your dr to make sure that these aren't signs for a more sever underlying problem.

Good luck!

First, call you doctor and get his hearing checked. Sometimes speech difficulties start because of hearing issues. If his hearing is fine, then definitely call ECI (Early childhood intervention), you pediatricians office should have their phone number. ECI (if I remember correctly) also did a hearing screening) It is probably too late to get him started with ECI because of his age, but they can get the process started and if he qualifies he will be eligible for PPCD (PPCD is where the next step after ECI - it is for kids 3 and up). My boys had speech issues and did ECI (had speech therapists come out to the house for free) and then we went to PPCD, which is held at a local elementary school. They also get speech there. It has been great.

Good luck! : )

My daughter is the same age and does the same thing. I do agree with you - I believe it's all about not being able to communicate. My daughter couldn't talk very well up until recently, but I think she's so used to throwing fits that she does it "just because" instead of using her words. She still speaks her "language" when she gets excited or frustrated. I was really considering speech therapy for her if she didn't start talking soon, but one day she just started all of a sudden. I agree with everyone else, if it's affecting his behavior, definitely try to get him evaluated. My daughter also doesn't eat much so recently I started cutting her off of the fluids and snacks at least 2-3 hours before mealtime so she won't feel like she's full and not eat. I know I get cranky when I'm hungry so it just came to me that she's probably the same way and doesn't know she's hungry because she's so full from fluids. Usually an hour after she has a drink she feels hungry again so she asks for more to drink instead of food and it's just an ongoing cycle. When she actually eats at least 2 full meals a day and not just snacks and drinks her behavior is a lot better. Good luck with it all - I feel your pain, girl!!

Hey - Everyone is giving you great advice. My son was speech delayed and had sensory integration disorder. He had speech and occupational therapy and is now 6 and you would NEVER know he had any problems. I HIGHLY recommend therapy and evaluations. We lived in Virginia when he was born and the ECI program there took a LONG time to get appointments for the evaluations, so don't wait! Also, if I am remembering correctly, I think that 90% of people should be able to understand what a 3 year old is saying. It sounds like your son is definitley not on track with that, so you should get evaluated.

It's a VERY tiring path to get someone to listen to you (doctors) when you feel something is off with your child. So, good luck!

-L.

There is no such thing as "normal". You do need to talk to a healthcare professional about this. Sooner is better. There are a lot of options you might want to explore. God Bless you.

Have you thought about having him see a speech therapist? We had a friend who had very little vocabulary and she got her son speech therapy through the school district and he was 2-3 years old. Can't remember exactly. It is free as far as I know. Maybe the other behaviors would lessen if he was able to express himself. Just an idea. Good luck.
C.

I can relate to almost ALL of what you said. My son can say very few words plainly. He says several words but he leaves off consonants...and like you said...sometimes he totally does not repeat anything close to what we say. It is a good sign thought that he does attempt. We arent having the physical behavior but he has screaming fits often. I usually get down on his level and say, 'tell mommy what's wrong'...'I know you are mad' then if he cant tell me, Ill ask him to show me. But more often than not, its something he cant have which of course leads to more of a fit.

From what Ive read, most of terrible two behavior IS about the non ability to express their needs and wants. It is also realizing that they are seperate from us and asserting independence.

I wish I knew if my child's speech were normal. He knows TONS of stuff but just seems to not be able to say it.

You've gotten great advice - DO look into ECI or PPCD because he sounds like he really needs their help. PPCD would help with the hearing and behavior.

The fluid thing I would definitely call your peditrician. We had a thing on diabeties (spelling???) last year at school and excessive need to take in fluids was an early warning sign. So I wouldn't wait till your next appointment.

Good luck!

Sounds like a normal 2 year old to me. All children learn words at different ages. If you are truly concerned, ask your pedi. My 2 year old(just turned 2) has much fewer words than his brother did at the same age. My mom-of 6- told me her first used more words more quickly than all the others. As far as the behavior goes, most boys are rougher than girls and it takes some getting used to. I always tell my boys that mom does not like rough play, so do that with Daddy and leave Mom the quiet stuff like games, books, and puzzles. When my children whine, I repeat the phrase,"I will be happy to talk with you when your voice sounds like mine," and then I ignore them until their voice is like mine. I would restrict liquids a little, so he will eat more food. It is very hot this time of year, so maybe he is extra thirsty, especially if he spends much time outdoors. If he is hungry, he will eat. Hard to deal with, but true. As far as the inappropriate behavior(kicking, screaming, etc.), I would immediately and gently put an end to that now. I would not hit, get angry or yell, but I would insist he behave or face the consequences. If he goes under his bed to scream, I don't see a problem with that. At least he is in his room. Another consequence is putting a favorite toy in time out. What ever you do, make the punishment fit the crime and pick your battles. Let little things go and concentrate on the big ones. I once read something a mom on this site wrote about deciding what behaviors to tackle and which to ignore. She said if the behavior will negatively affect his life at 30, then do something about it, if not, leave it alone. I, also, have a 5 and 2 year old and they couldn't be more different. Good luck with everything!!

I would check with your pediatrician....maybe even a child psycologist...as a mom, I would be concerned about him having autistic traits, or ADHD.....it could be nothing..but you might want them to rule that out. GOod luck to you..

My younger son started speech therapy at age 18 months. Before that it was the same thing, screaming b/c we could not understand him if he did try to talk, and screaming b/c he coulnd't talk. If it was me I would ask the pedi about a referral to ST. I don't know if free services such as Early Intervention start that you but if it was me I would someone and get started, even if I had to pay. We did 2 yrs of ST and our now 3.5 yr old son talks quite well. Sometimes I have to ask him to repeat but that's usually his British accent coming through that throws me off.

He may have a hearing problem.....have you had his hearing tested?

Go to
www.atherapyconnection.com

It is the website for my clinic. We are therapists and not web designers, so it isnt the best website, but it does have a check list to look at for normal developmental milestones.

If you are still concerned, give us a call. We take most major insurance plans and Medicaid plans and we are in Richardson which is relatively close to Mesquite. We also go to a few day care centers, too.
Good luck!

Have you considered contacting ECI or Ready Start for an evaluation? They have been so helpful with our boys. After being born premature we were prepared for any and all possibilities of delays, abnormalities, retardation, you name it. They are super to work with and really care about your child's progress.

you can call ECI, but since he's 2 1/2 they will likely refer you to the school district. Call your local school district and ask for PPDC assessment team. They will do a free eval and let you know if your son qualifies for services through the school. If he does, great. If not, you have a free assessment to share with a private therapist or callier, or whereever. It is not uncommon for kids with speech/language difficulties to have behavioral difficulties. You would want to start with speech intervention first and rule out that the behavior problems are speech related. Good luck!

C.,
I understand your concern. If your son has had alot of ear infections, it may be that he is not talking because he simply cannot hear well. The behavior could certainly be a result of his frustration in not being able to communicate.
I would speak with your child's doctor and explain all of these concerns to him. At 2 1/2, he should be saying quite a few words and I think it would be wrong to think that it is due to his being a boy. As a Mom, I always felt it was better to check things out rather then think your child would outgrow a certain problem. At 2 1/2, he can make rapid improvement in his speech if he needs assistance. If the Doctor does not find any medical problems that need to be corrected, you could have him screened by Right Start Early Childhood Intervention. I believe the screening is free. If you live in Collin County and need the number, I can get it for you.

There is really a pretty wide range of "normal" for language development, and it makes sense that he would be more frustrated if his language skills aren't developing fast enough for his taste. However, if you are concerned (which you seem to be)then I would 1)contact the pediatrician to see what they think, and 2)contact ECI (early childhood intervention) to have him assessed for developmental delays. IF he qualifies then they will help you get whatever help he may need to get him up to speed, and if not you will have your concerns calmed. Honestly though, kids develop so differently in all areas that at 2 1/2 he may very well be just fine. Perhaps your daughter was particularly fast in language development (and I think girls tend to be better at this). I don't think it's cause to be alarmed, but I would do whatever I could to reassure myself.

I completely agree with Leigh call your local ECI and get him evaluated now! At 3 they stop their services so get on the list as quick as possible. My son had the exact same behavior at that age and now after 3 years of therapies you would never know it. Actually when he speaks he sounds older than he is because he was taught the proper way to say and pronounce words.

Have you had his ears checked?

My grandson did most of that behavior but had tubes put in due to fluid in his ears staying built up & since then 90% of that behavior has stopped & he can verbalize & we can understand almost everything now.

My son is almost 2 yrs old and he babbles nonstop...but none of it is intelligible either. His pediatrician told me that he is "speech delayed" and that he should be saying at least 5 words at his age (mama, dada, cat, dog, etc..). However, I am not a BIT worried about it. I know that boys learn a bit slower than girls and he will speak when he is ready!! So I would not stress about that if I were you. Harvey Karp compares young toddlers to "cavemen" and says that we have to speak and reason with them like that...very basic and come down to their level. I really believe this too. Also,it was suggested by a trusted family doctor to NOT give my son any juice in the mornings and not to exceed 6-8 oz in a day. Instead, give him plain old water to drink and you will be amazed at how his appetitie returns!!!!! (Juice fills their little tummies up and makes them feel full.) About the pinching and screaming behavior, hopefully it is just a phase. My son started slapping himself in the head when he is frustrated, but I really think they will grow out of this behavior. Anyway, I know it's not fun while it lasts though. Good luck mama!

ECI is only available until your child is 3...If he is 2 1/2 now you may not receive any service from them. It's takes a few visits before you actually receive therapy. You son could probably benefit from Speech Therapy...It does sound like he is getting frustrated from not being understood. Which is a good sign because he does want to talk! Both of my boys have received Speech Therapy from the Callier Center at University of Dallas in Richardson. Services also available at their location in Dallas. Berkley Williams is awesome! They work with insurance an it is affordable! There are also different programs that your child could go to...SMILE (Speech emergence therapy) and STARS (articulation program)...I highly recommend them! You could never tell my oldest had gone through these programs. He talks non stop now!! :-) Please email if you have any questions. Good Luck!!

Part if it is probably normal "boy 2" behavior, but if you're concerned, have his hearing checked. My brothers were born with lots of fluid in their ears - they could hear, but it apparently sounded like they were under water. My parents didn't realize it until they started talking - I apparently translated as the sister - and didn't make their words correctly. They had tubes put in, then did speech therapy to re-teach the sounds they learned, but were both fine by 1st grade and have never had more problems with their ears or speech. (They're twins in their 20s now.) I had a student last year who was doing the same thing, pointing, grunting and making words no one understood. His mom had his ears checked, and they were able to drain the fluid with medication. What is important with both of these situations is that they COULD HEAR, but not the way you and I do. In both cases, the boys were able to respond to directions, point to things, etc. So actually having a hearing test and having his ears checked for fluid or blockage would be key.

Yours may not be a hearing issue, but it would be easy enough to check. Good luck! K. :)

I would get his ears checked. My sister had severe undiagnosed ear infections until she was 2, and literally couldn't hear most of what was said to her and did not talk much and like with your son mostly it was unintelligible. She could say a little, but not very much. Once she got tubes put in her ears she could hear and suddenly started talking and we still haven't been able to get her to stop at 23 *just joking*. It would also make sense that if his ears are draining it will make his throat uncomfortable where mainly fluids are comfortable to drink.

Little boys are more physical then little girls, so when wrestling, just for fun, they will be more rough, but it looks like a lot of your other responses have good things to go ahead and evaulate for, just in case. Better to check now and know he's just being rough, then wait and find a problem when he's in school and it's more difficult to receive help.

Good luck