Staying up Late?...

You're doing the right thing. Everything you read says that kids need the routine, need early bed times. Keep up the great work!

And, I too, have been to "Love and Logic" - they set boundries - just like the other responder said.

I thikn you mean, when she's at a friends house and not spending the night, she wants to stay late. If that is what you mean, I think I would try talking to her about it ahead of time. Let her know she can stay til X time, but then it's time to go and it's not fair that she give you a hard time about it. :-)

Good luck, it's usually harder to do the right thing then to do what everyone else is doing! K.

My sister used to be one of those "up til you drop" moms. It drove me nuts! But you can't make people do things the way you think they should be done. I sincerely try to have a bed time for my kids, but I am a single mom and life is never the same from day to day. Plus once I do get the kids down they usually find a way to goof off, or fight, or whatever else they can to stay up. But their bedtime is the key to my breathing room. When they are in bed I can "refill my cup" so to speak so I can be a more effective mom. "Love and Logic" says to set boundaries. You might say they can stay up as long as they want so long as they stay in their room and get up when it's time. Eventually they will learn that going to bed early is a good thing.

S. - I think you are my long lost twin! My house is never clean either, I never have time to do the things I want, and I love scrapbooking - but only have time on rare occassions. Back to your original question. I also think that it is extremely important to keep kids on a routine. I have a six year old, and soon to be two year old. They went to daycare throughout the school year and went to bed at 9 and got up around 7. They are still on the same routine, even though they stay at home with a babysitter now that school is out. My daughter may get to stay up till about 9:30 to finish a movie, or bath, but that's the limit. Also, even though she doesn't have to be anywhere in the mornings, I told the babysitter that if she isn't up by 8:30, she needs to wake her up, eat breakfast, brush teeth, and continue her routine just as if she was going to school. They have a rough outline of a schedule for the day, but they also have a lot of freedom with what they can do. Hope this helps support the idea that a routine is the best way to go.
-J.

You are not unreasonable in any way. I have a four year old on a school night he is in bed at 8PM no school 9PM. Children require more sleep it is irresponsible to allow your child to stay up late all the time and makes the children less successful.

S.,

My kids have always had a bedtime and I stick to it even when they don't have school. I may extend it a half hour during the summer - but my alone/sanity time is after they are in bed. I agree that they do better on a schedule and I think kids thrive on routine. So I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. My son is only 14 months, and he does have a regular bedtime, and as of right now I plan to keep it that way. Maybe a little later on the weekends, but not my much. My sister has three children, ages 1, 5 and 11 and they all start their bedtime routine at the same time everynight and eventually make it to bed at about the same time everynight. You would think she would be one of the parents that lets her kids stay up all night, but surprisingly she does keep them on a bedtime schedule. I do think parents can go overboard soemtimes though. I worked with someone who put her kids to bed at 6:30 everynight, before he husband was even home from work most days! I thought that was absurd, but it worked for them I guess.

Hi S., I totally agree with you! Kids need their sleep or they are miserable, their grades suffer and they are grouchy if their parents don't make bedtime rules and stick to them! I always put mine to bed at 8:00 until around 7 yrs old and then it went to 8:30, then 9:00 when they were 9 yrs old. I sometimes let them stay up a bit later on the weekends if they wanted to, but never during the week. They are both grown now and have good sleep habits and it helps with their jobs, families, moods, things just run smoother. If your daughter's friends can decide when they go to bed, I have to wonder who is running their family. lol. Structure, limits and schedules are good for kids and they will appreciate it later in life because they will have the self discipline already instilled in them from childhood. Kids mirror their parents so if you have good bedtime habits, they will too. It benefits the whole family because after mine were in bed, that was my time to finish up things I needed to do around the house, relax a little and get my sleep...it benefits the kids if the parent has that time to prepare for the next day so things will run smoothly in the morning. Keep doing what you are doing, it's a win/win for you and your kids! :)

Of course my kids have a very specific bed time. It is a routine that we stick to every night of the week. If my kids don't get to bed at the time we usually put them to bed they get cranky. Its always nice to have a little quiet time to yourself. I put my youngest to bed at 8 and them my oldest and I watch a Disney Movie then she is in bed by a little after 9. We love this system and it really works for us.

It's nice to know other parents insist on a bedtime for their kids. My kids are in bed by 8:00 (7:30 during the school year). Family and friends think I'm nuts, but the kids (and me) are much happier when they get a good nights sleep. We are known to leave family gatherings and parties when it's bedtime. I just know if they don't get their sleep at night, they're a mess the next day. I figure others don't have to deal with them the next day.

I think a lot of that is going to depend on the individual family's work schedule. Up until this year our "normal" bedtime was 11pm for us and our son. Once my husband switched to a daytime schedule, we adjusted our family's sleep schedule to an earlier bedtime. A 9pm bedtime is only normal when that's right for your family.

You are not crazy!!! Kids need a schedule and so do we. I have 4 kids and if it weren't for bedtimes I would never have time to myself for cleaning and lounging! My 2 yr old goes to bath @7:30 and bed by 8. the 6&8 yr olds go to bath at 8 and bed by 8:30. My 14 year old has to be bathed and in his room by 9:30. When we vary from the schedule it is pure chaos and grouchiness! You are doing the right thing!

I think letting your child stay up with a friend when they are sleeping over at each others house and it is not a school night is okay. You don't want your child staying up to 12 every night because they will develope that habit and it may be hard to break once they are back in school. However I see no harm in doing it once in a while. My girls sometimes stay up all night when they stay at a friends house and then sleep all day they next day if they don't have anything going on. I use to do the same thing growing up. But like I said this is a once in a while thing, not nightly.

The bottom line is that when your children are at a friends house it is no longer in your control, your child is now the responsibility of their friends parents and how their house is structured and how they run their house. Is it really that it is so important to you for your kids to have such a structured life or is it that you don't want her to stray from her schedule for your own desire. Kids are kids. Yes, they do need structure. Yes they do need a bedtime. But is it reasonable to expect and ask another parent to change their rules and routine when your child is over at their house? Kids want to have fun and be with their friends. If this only occurs when your child goes to her friends, then what is the problem? They are sleeping over at friends house, they are supposed to have fun, supposed to stay up a little bit later. As long as it is not on a school night then there shouldn't be a problem. Do you remember when you were a kid?

You are not alone. My 9-year-old daughter's bedtime is 8:00 during the school year because she has to get up early so I can get to work. Even during the summer, when it's more relaxed and we have a babysitter for her, her bedtime is 9:00 every night. If she's at a friend's house, and they allow the girls to stay up late, there's not much we can do about it. But, my daughter knows what the rules are at our house.

Hello. I have two boys, ages 4 and 6. They have a set bedtime every night. During the school year they have to be in bed by 7 p.m. During the summer I usually let them stay up until 8 unless their behavior shows me they need to be in bed earlier. The generally wake up around 6:30 or so and are in good moods all day. If they go to bed any later then they are not so much fun to be around! lol. My 6 year-old usually goes and falls asleep within 5 minutes or so...my 4-year-old sometimes I have problems getting him to go to sleep but he occasionally takes naps at the babysitters. I agree that there should be a set bedtime, not only for YOUR sanity but for YOUR KIDS HEALTH! Kids need their sleep! You are being VERY responsible...and show how much you love your kids by putting them to bed at a regular normal time. Oh, I do allow my kids to stay up late on Fridays because it's our Family Fun Night where they stay up late, we eat pizza, watch movies, and usually sleep in the living room. It's their favorite day of the week! I still make them go to bed no later than 9 p.m. though.

B.

I hear ya here! I work 5am-3:30 every day. My girls go to bed at 8. My 6 year old is allowed to stay awake longer to read in her bed, but she has to stay in bed. Even going to bed at 8, i don't get to sleep until around 9 and then awake at 3. I wouldn't worry about other parents. I tell my oldest one, the one or 2 times she has asked, that this is how we do it and they can do it that way at their house. I have also told her when she gets older that she can stay up later. I would just do your house the way you see fit. They're your kids!!!!! =) Good luck! Let me know if I can be of any more help!