What Time Do Your Kids Go to Bed? (Elementary School)
Updated on
February 05, 2012
P.R.
asks from
Akron, OH
48
answers
It's always been a battle to get my husband on board with getting our kids to bed because he doesn't have to be into work as early as I do. I have a morning meeting 4 days a week I need to be here for and prepared for which can't be done ahead of time as it involves morning news. So getting to bed at night and having a little downtime too is more urgent to me than him. In addition, I'm the one to take our dog out every night after our daughters are in bed because I wanted the dog. I wait to take him so I know the girls are settled in bed and so the dog doesn't need to go out at 5am. But aside from my schedule and needs, I think lights out at 9pm is a very reasonable time versus early. Both of them are God's little joke on me in the sleeping arena bc they rarely need more than 10 hours while I love love love to sleep. So admitedly I don't typically have to wake them up for school as they're usually up on time even not going to sleep until 9:30pm. But they wake up late enough that then the morning is a bit rushed and in general, isn't that kind of a late bedtime?? They're 6 and 7. Most people I know have their kids in bed by 8pm or so. I realize how early they have to get up for school is a driver but what's the general bedtime out there? I'd like lights out at 9pm. It keeps getting pushed to 9:20 or so.
Thanks. So far it seems rare that lights out after 9pm. To clarify, they don't really need to get up until 7:30 or even a bit later so 9:30 to 7:30 is their "needed" amount of sleep. I really wish they needed more but they typically wake up themselves happily. But 7:30 doesn't allow for a leisurely morning as much. As far as the dog goes, my husband really didn't want him and said it'd be an extra burden on me but I insisted. My daughters and I adore the dog but my husband could care less and would get rid of him in a minute. So I take responsibility. It was my decision. I do get up earlier too in order to take the dog for a run. Love/hate relationship with the dog. :) I also like to be involved in the nighttime routine bc our youngest still needs help reading or someone to read to her and I feel like it's important time for me to be with them. And if I don't get involved, it seems to drag out more and then they really are up too late and then I do have to wake them in the morning and then I'm more stressed getting to work etc...
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K.O.
answers from
Atlanta
on
I'd say 9 is extremely liberal and more on the late side than early. My kids are in their rooms for bed by 7:30. I don't care what they do at that point as long as it's quiet and they're not driving me nuts (i.e. reading, takling quietly, etc). They usually fall asleep on their own by 8-8:30.
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S.L.
answers from
Green Bay
on
That seems a little late to me. When my kids were that age they went to bed at 7:30, 8:00 at the latest. My kids have always needed a lot of sleep. My daughter is in 6th grade now and she goes to bed at 8:30 and is up at 6:30. My son is in 4th grade and he goes to bed at 8:30 and is up at 7:00. On rare occasions they stay up a little later.
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S.L.
answers from
New York
on
My son is in first grade, almost 7 and goes to bed at 8:00. I'm a teacher and It's so easy to spot the kids who don't get enough sleep.
You want a more relaxed morning so put them to bed a little earlier. Tell hubby this will help them succeed in school, and keep them healthier. how can he argue?
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L.C.
answers from
Dover
on
We have always done 9 o'clock. My kids are like yours. If I put them to bed any earlier they'd be up at 4 AM. Even now, the little ones are 5 and 4 and if they take a nap they are up til 11 PM and up again at 6:45 AM.
In short, 9 o'clock is reasonable and you should light a fire under your husband.
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J.W.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Between 8 and 9 but mostly because even then they are a nightmare to get up in the morning. My older two went to bed at 9 but they always got up and got themselves ready without a fuss so it wasn't an issue.
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R.D.
answers from
Richmond
on
When it's warm and light out outside, my girls (6 and 8) go to bed around 8:30, any later than that and they're asking to go to bed!!
In the winter, they go to bed at 7:30, for MY sanity.
I don't mind if they watch a short movie in their room or play a game or read for a little bit, they're really good kids and go to bed when they're tired!
In the summer when school's out, they can try to stay up as late as they want!!... but again, they go to bed when they know their little bodies need to :)
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F.H.
answers from
Phoenix
on
I didn't read your prior responses but here is what we have been doing for the last 4 years and started it when our kids were around the same age as yours. Now they are 12 and 9. This is roughly what we do during the week-Kids home from school at 3:30. Snack and tv from 3:30-4. Homework at 4-5. Sometimes only 4:30. I cook dinner/clean while they either play inside or outside with the neighbors from after homework is done until we eat at about 6. Dad is home by 6 and we all eat dinner together at the diningroom table. 6-7:30 is "family time" which is us either taking a walk around the block or to the park, riding our bikes (all in winter), swimming (in summer) or playing wii together or a board game if its either too hot or too cold out. Then promptly at 7:30 the 9 yo is in the shower, then the 12 yo at 7:45. They both are in their rooms at 8pm. They don't necessarily have to go to sleep, but they do have to stay in there and they do, they rarely come out after 8pm. They usually read, play with toys, draw and/or listen to music in their own rooms. We tell them its their "quiet time" and I think they actually enjoy it! They go to sleep when they are ready, 90% of the time its before 9pm. I check on them when we go to bed (usually between 10-10:30) and shut off lights/radios, if they forget and tuck them in while they are sleeping. We have been doing this consistantly for the last 4 years and its really worked out well. The kids know EXACTLY what to expect because we do the same things around the same time, every night. And at 8pm, its quiet time for me and hubs. We can get caught up on shows we want to watch, projects or whatever. I LOVE it! And my kids tend to wake up on their own, usually between 6-6:30 and watch tv until we are up. We are never rushing around in the mornings which is great and I know they have had "enough" sleep. I hope this helps and you find something that works for you guys. =)
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B.C.
answers from
Dallas
on
My 4 year old goes down at 9pm and my 11 year old goes down at 9:30.
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J.S.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
My almost 7 year old (and 5 year old and 3 year old) all go to bed at 7:30.
They get up between 6:30 and 7:00 on their own.
School starts at 9:00, so we have a leisurely morning.
I stay home full time and I need them in bed so I can have a break. My husband works a ton, travels often, and by 7:30-8:00 I am done.
Plus, there is a ton of research out there that kids these days are chronically over tired, and that missing as much as a half an hour of sleep can affect their performance at school - kids tested a grade lower when they had 1/2 hour less sleep (I read it in the book Mind in the Making).
I believe that kids need more sleep than we think. Push for the 8:00 bedtime.
After an adjustment - I'm guessing your kids will do better for it.
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J.A.
answers from
Denver
on
My kids are 3,6 & 9. They go to bed between 8-8:30 with lights out at 9. I read them stories prior to 8 so actually they are in their room by 7:45. But it is really important they go to bed on time so we can. We go to bed by 8:30-9 most nights because we get up at 5:30, and I like to get enough sleep too. My kids get up at about 6:30.
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J.M.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
my daughter is in k and goes to be between 7:30-8:30ish depending on how tired she is and how tired I am and if its bath night or if were in the middle of something. I think if they;re doing fine and its more about you needing downtime why not let their dad do the bedtime routine..books, bath , bed...and you can relax since he wants to keep them up??
and i agree that your husband and kids should help with the dog. It should be a family pet that is cared for by all
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B.W.
answers from
Dayton
on
9:00 pm is not unrealistic. My children are older and still have to be in bed by 9:00 on school nights. Stand your ground.
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A.C.
answers from
Boston
on
My daughter is a sophomore in high school and has a 9:30 lights out. BUT... I drive her school bus so she is getting up at 5:30 because she comes into work with me. When she was in elementary it was 8:00 and middle school 8:30. Any later than that and she was an unreasonable cranky pants.
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L.C.
answers from
Dallas
on
In bed by eight on school nights and nine on Fri/Sat. He is eight years old.
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J.J.
answers from
Denver
on
My 8 year old finally gets in bed by 8:30, but it used to be after 9:00. She was previously at gymnastics until 8:15! We switched gyms because of the crazy hours at our old gym and now she's done by 7:15.
I find if we shoot for 8:20, she'll be in bed by 8:30 and falls asleep shortly after that. We quit riding the bus, so now she can sleep till 7:30 and we can be out the door by 8:55 in the morning. We do everything at night - i.e. pack lunch, lay out clothes, etc. I send her to school with a protein bar which they eat at snack time. This seems to be the best schedule for us.
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✩.!.
answers from
Denver
on
My 14 mos old is in bed anywhere from 7:30 to 8 most nights with the occasional 8:30 bedtime.
Weekdays my 6 yr old and 4 yr old are in bed at 8:30.
Weekends - I could care less what time they go to bed, but most times it ends up around 9 pm.
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C.B.
answers from
San Francisco
on
I have my granddaughter eat her snack at around 8:20. Then it's brush teeth, pick a book and call grandma when ready. I go in usually around 8:40. We read for 20 minutes and then lights out at 9:00. She's usually asleep within minutes. She gets up at 7:20 a.m. fully rested and ready for the day!
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C.C.
answers from
Washington DC
on
730 is bath time, 8 story time, 830 hugs kisses lights out but if your not on the same page with your spouse your kids are going to push you so talk it over with him
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❤.M.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Up until SD was 10 she went to bed at 8pm.
Then when she turned 10 her bedtime was 8:30.
Now that she is 13 it is 9:30, waking at 7:30 am.
She has to get up earlier & earlier for school as she ages but she can get by on 10 hrs of sleep now that she's older so it works out well.
I have some friends who have 3 kids age ranges from 5-10, they go to bed at 7:30 and I think that's a bit early for them since the oldest has a harder time fallling asleep. Also, they are not very active kids so they don't burn much energy
Watch your kids' energy level, physical tiredness, ages & go from there.
Adjust accordingly. I think it becomes an ever changing sliding scale as the kids age.
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E.W.
answers from
Cleveland
on
I think the latest would be 9 but that would be tucked in and ready to go to sleep. My 13 year old I still have in bed by 9:30. I think a good night sleep is critical. The other thing is each child is different if your child is tired all the time then he is not getting enough sleep. My other 2 kids are night owls. The one I have tried all her life to get her into a good sleep pattern but nothing works.
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K.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Our kids (6, 3, & 1) all go to bed between 7:30-8.
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B.
answers from
Augusta
on
My kids are in bed at 730 then they have an hr to read and lights out at 830.
No exceptions. they NEED to stay on schedule.
9-930 is too late. My kids are suggish in the AM if they get to bed that late. They are up at 630-7 am for school. If the don't get to bed until late they don't get up until 730 -745 and that's too late. My kids are 7 and 10
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A.S.
answers from
Kansas City
on
My 5 year old goes to bed at 8pm every night. 10pm is lights out for the rest of the family (16yo, 13yo, and Dad) on weeknights. I have started going to bed as soon as our 5 year old is down for the night, so about 8:30pm. lol
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L.N.
answers from
New York
on
my kids, 7 years old go to bed at 7:30, asleep by 8 my kids need at least 10 hrs sleep, 12 is better.
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J.P.
answers from
Lakeland
on
My daughter goes to bed at about 8:30 or 9. She gets up around 7 or 7:15 and that is plenty of time for her to get ready and get to school (I drive her and it is not far). She is fine with 9 to 10 hours of sleep, she is even ok with 8 but not for long.
My sister puts her kids to be at 8 every night, and they are up at 5 am every day. That is way too early for me.
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K.G.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
My son is 5 1/2. He goes to bed at 7:45ish during school nights and 8ish on the weekends.. :) 9 sounds late to me..
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A.G.
answers from
Houston
on
9:30 Sunday through Wednesday ,,,10:00 on thursdays.
I just have 1 kid in school, she's 9. She wakes up at 6:30 in the morning ( her idea we used to wake up at 7 but she likes to do her own hair now) the bus comes at 7:40.
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C.O.
answers from
Washington DC
on
my boys are 9 & 11 - our bedtime is 9PM.
Nicky is like his daddy and can stay up until 11PM...and sleep until 11AM..
Greg is my morning boy - falls asleep within 10 minutes of laying down and is up between 0700 and 0730...
Sorry - your husband can walk the dog too...just because YOU wanted it doesn't mean he doesn't take care of it too. Our routine is our boys walk the dog AFTER dinner.
I don't know if that would work for you or not - but really - 9PM is a reasonable time for bed and having the whole family care for the dog is important.
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T.S.
answers from
Washington DC
on
My son just turned 6.
It's lights out at 8pm for him (sometimes 8:15 if he's really dragging his feet for bath and jammies).
He has to be up at 7:30.
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P.S.
answers from
Houston
on
Our 6 yo son goes to bed at 8pm, but he wakes up at 6 and is usually out of bed by 6:30. We don't leave for school until 8 though.
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K.M.
answers from
Chicago
on
My son is reminded at 7:15 that it is nearly bed time, so he knows to play whatever it is he wants to play or do before bed time, another reminder around 7:30, then at 7:45 we give him his melatonin, he is tucked into bed by 8:00 lights out and no exiting the room aside from a potty need, typically he meets that need before getting into bed. I am strict with him on leaving his room after this time. Sometimes his melatonin takes time to work and depending on the day he can earn a book to look at with a flashlight or one 30min cartoon on his 3DS(via netflix). He has to have done pretty well for the day to earn the cartoon and sometimes he chooses a book instead eventhough he has earned the cartoon. Typically by 8:30 he is fast asleep any later than that it is bound to be a rough night (means the melatonin was not enough - sleep issues thank you adhd) and will require a firm hand.
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M.K.
answers from
Columbus
on
I know you probably don't need any more suggestions but I can relate so much to your dilemma, especially the husband part of your story! What I did was totally give up on even thinking I would get any help from him and just made the rules and stuck to them.
My kids would get all ready for bed, including teeth brushed, clothes picked out, lunch made, etc., and then they HAD to be in their rooms between 8:00 - 8:30; they could read or do whatever but they were not permitted to come out. They were told that was their time to settle down and then lights out at 9:00. If during that time they needed me, i.e, read to them, etc., that was fine but at 9:00 I tucked them in and that was it. It was a little hard at first but I was very firm and everyone got used to the routine.
As for the dog - I have a fenced in yard so I don't have to watch him; I let him out for awhile and when he's ready, I let him back in.
If my husband ever decided to help with anything that was fine, but I had it in my mind not to expect any help so that I wouldn't get upset and all stressed out. Actually made my life a lot easier!!!
Good luck!!!
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G.B.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
I think kids in bed at 8pm is really kind of early. Those parents may like to do that so they have that time afterwards but I think my choices are fine for us.
I work until 8pm one evening a week while the 8 yr. old is in Tap/Ballet class, she gets out at 7:30 and hangs around doing flips or tumbling until I close the store. She is in Hip Hop and then afterwards regular gymnastics until 8pm. Her bother has gymnastics while she is in Hip Hop. So that night is also late but I am not working.
For us a 9pm bedtime works. We do sometimes get in bed later. Last night I had 2 customers who stayed a bit past 8:30. After getting home and fixing some Spaghetti O's and green beans the kids went right off to bed and were out pretty quickly.
So for us, staying busy and keeping the kids active is important. Setting an unrealistic bedtime for them that I would not be able to keep is crazy.
The boy is up by 8-8:30am on weekends and she sleeps until 10-11am if I'd let her.
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L.F.
answers from
San Francisco
on
That seems late to me~ I start bathtime, books, play a game etc. about 7pm. They are in bed and asleep by 8pm. Sometimes its 7:40pm if they are super tired. My kids are 5 and 2. They wake up naturally at 5:30 or 6am every morning. Hope this helps!
M
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L.E.
answers from
Muncie
on
My children are 9(4th grade) and 11(6th grade). They go to bed at 8:30pm on school nights and 9:00pm otherwise. At their father's house it is about half an hour later or more.
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M.M.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
My younger (9 & 6) go to bed at 8, but can journal or read until 8:30 and the 12 yr. goes at 8:30 and reads until 9. This is what I aim for, but it doesn't always work out.
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K.F.
answers from
Dallas
on
Wow! I guess we go to bed early! Bedtime is usually 7ish and they can read, watch some tv, whatever they want to do IN BED for some wind-down time. Then it is light's out at 7:30. Any later and the mornings are a bear. My 9yo has to get up at 6:30 in order to get to school on time. My 4yo usually sleeps until about 7:45 or 8. We are much more flexible on weekends/non-school nights but even then 9 is late for my kids to be up.
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A.C.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I'm probably the odd man out here ... but my kids went to bed between 8:30 and 9:00pm. I think whatever works for your family is fine. If they are waking up and not being cranky and all that ... l'd say don't sweat it.
I'd focus on getting hubby more involved in the morning routine so that you can focus on being prepared for work.
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C.O.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
I have a 2nd grader (7 years old), he's in bed by 8:30pm sometimes 8:45pm. He gets up at 6:50am.
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S.K.
answers from
Denver
on
my kids are in bed at 9 I dont get home until 5 and then have to get dinner ready so I dont feel that 2 1/2 hours with them is sufficient to put them to bed at 730. We do have our routine we will eat dinner, do homework then its clean up time, they clean up whatever messes they created while I clean up dinner and throw in a load of laundry. 730-8 is usually bath time and then from 8-9 is snuggle time on the couch (reading is part of homework time, he is in 1st grade) Usually if they have had a rough day they will fall asleep on me on the couch earlier than 9, if they are not super tired they will keep snuggling while watching the discovery channel or some other show and then its to bed right at 9. They both wake up between 7-730 am since school does not start until 9. I think if it works for you, and your kids are getting enough sleep then there is no harm done.
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R.J.
answers from
Seattle
on
Until this past year (9yo):
- Spring and Fall = 9pm
- Winter = 6pm
- Summer = 10pm-midnight
Winter we drive 2 hours to the mountains super early, and then eat dinner in the car and crash as soon as showers when we get home.
Summer... it doesn't get dark here until 10pm. So we stay up playing outside until it gets dark, then come in and go to bed.
AKA... we've slept as we've needed to. The only season we HAVE to get up early is winter (4am, to be at the mountains by 7am)
________
This year... he's been on steroids for a year. Insomnia!!!! Aieeee. We're talking bed somewhere between 2am-6am.
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K.N.
answers from
Cleveland
on
my middle kids, 11 and 9 are clean, brushed and ready for bed at 8, get an hour of tv, and lights out at 9. This gives me plenty of downtime and lets them stay up an extra hour. Weekends it's a free for all as long as I can't hear them after 11 when i go to bed.
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J.P.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
7:30pm to bed and they get up around 6:30-7am.
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☆.A.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
9:00 for my 3rd grader. Once in awhile he can put his tv timer on for 20-30 minutes. He's up by 6:45 or 7:00 a.m. and he's rested. Now....if it's been a super busy week with late evening practices, etc....then we scooch it up with little resistance from him.
Summertime? All bets are off!
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C.P.
answers from
Columbia
on
At that age, my boys were in bed no later than 7:30. They are still AWFUL in the morning if they aren't in bed by 8:30 (they're now 9 and 10).
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S.H.
answers from
Honolulu
on
My kids are 5 and 9.
They are IN bed at 8:00pm. BOTH of them.
They usually fall asleep by 8:30pm.
They need to wake up the next morning at 6:30am.
Which, I have to wake them or they will keep sleeping.
So that is 10 hours average, that they sleep.
BUT... they could use more. On the weekends they wake up later for example.
All I know is, some kids often get "wired" when they are actually tired. Or they seem more hyper... but they are actually tired.
My son is like that.
But I know he is actually tired... not, not tired.
Bedtime it always the same time. Or earlier if he is super tired.
I know his cues and my daughter's.
They don't fight going to bed.
But... at school, per my kids' classmates, I CAN tell, which kids regularly do not get enough sleep. Their eyes have bags under them, they look tired, they stare into space, they don't pay attention well, and they are generally dragging. And then I will ask them "what time did you go to bed last night?" (out of curiosity because they look tired). And they will say "9:30..." or "10:00...." or "9:00...." and then I ask them "Are you tired?" And they often say, yes.
AND, if my Husband... horse-plays with them before bed, it actually SABOTAGES... my kids ability to fall asleep. Which is irritating, right?
Your kids are 6 & 7. You say they wake up late enough in the morning that it is a bit rushed the next morning.
So to ME... they need more sleep.
Sorry if I don't understand... but your kids are 6 & 7, and so they must be in school, right? So how come... they don't need to get up until 7:30 or even a bit later in the morning???? Doesn't schools usually start at like 8:00am??????
At that age, kids need about 10-11 hours of sleep.
I guess, your kids are getting 10 hours of sleep?
Anyway, get your whole morning routine/getting ready, EARLIER.
So you all are not so rushed in the morning.
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J.D.
answers from
Cincinnati
on
My son is in bed between 8:30 and 9:30. When hes tired, he lets me know but if he plays around for 10 minutes then he has to put himself to bed. I make sure his teeth are brushed, we do that together.
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M.N.
answers from
Bloomington
on
I didn't read all of your responses but from what I did read I am definitely the odd man out.
My daughter is 10 and she goes to bed at about 9:00 and is usually asleep by 9:30 or 9:45 and then she has to start waking up at about 6:00 or 6:15 and actually get out of bed no later than 7.
I don't even get her picked up from her after school program and get home until after 5:30 and then by the time we get homework done and dinner it is already almost 7. Get a bath in and there is absolutely NO WAY that she could be in bed by 8 or 8:30 unless she had absolutely NO down time and we had no time to spend as a family.
Is she tired by the end of the week...yes she is. However she is also in the High Ability class at her school and makes straight A's and has a great attitude so I really can't say that she is sleep deprived or that her sleep habits are having a negative effect. We all wish we could get more sleep but with our schedule it is just not possible. ;0)