Staying Dry but Not Using Potty

I just wanted to say I do not think it's embarrasing that you daughter is almost three. My daughter potty trained between 3-3.5 (fully trained at night by 3.5) and my son is 3.5 and still has accidents in his underwear and has not mastered pooping on the toliet. He, too, can hold it and only pees on the potty 1-2x a day! Then at night the flood gates release and he wets through a night time diaper, a bladder control pad, his clothes and bedding MOST nights!! We've just gotten used to changing him at 5am and stripping the sheets almost daily. Do not push. She will go when she is ready!

My son was 3... when he started, on his own, to use his potty chair.
HE... was ready.
At home, I just left him naked on the bottom and kept the potty chair nearby. He wasn't ready, for underwear. He was just, learning.

When/if a child starts to hold in their pee or poop, because they are avoiding the potty, you need to remind them. Holding in pee or poop... can really cause bad things for the internal organs.

Nighttime dryness... is NOT the same thing as daytime pottying or potty training. With nighttime dryness, it can take even up until 7 years old, for the body to mature. It is about the internal organs/brain/bladder/myelin nerve sheath development. And this is normal. It is a physiological organ development, per night time pottying and dryness.
Even if a child is nighttime able and their body keeps them dry... they can still, have pee accidents at night. It is childhood.
My daughter, even at 7 years old, had pee accidents at night. No biggie. I just used a waterproof bed pad, directly under her at night.

I just went by my kids' cues.
My daughter potty trained early.
My son did not, was was 3... when he, started to want to. And would. Gradually.
Then, at 4 years old, he went to Preschool. By then, he had the peeing in a toilet down. But not the pooping. But the Preschool had NO problem with that nor per his age. They helped ALL the kids.
By the time my son went to Kindergarten at 4 years old, he was then, fine with pooping and, peeing in a toilet.

No need to be embarrassed.

I would be concerned by the fact she just holds it all in until she is in a diaper. She risks getting urinary tract infections doing that.

Do you take her to the potty at regular, timed intervals or do you just ask her "Do you need to go?" Do the former, not the latter. Young kids almost always say "No, I don't need to go" especially if they are busy playing or otherwise occupied. It sounds like your child is very good at holding it in, which together with typical kid resistance to "Do you need to go?" is not good. At regular intervals, say every two hours, tell her it's potty time, and have her sit (even if she protests "I don't need/want to go"). Smile and tell her it's time to just sit and if she pees in the potty, great. Be sure to have some new books she has not seen before as a way to keep her on the potty for a little while -- and the distraction of books also might relax her enough that her body will relax and she'll urinate in the potty before she knows it. If she produces nothing, say,"OK, maybe next time" and don't fuss at her, but if she puts something into the potty, praise her.

I agree with the poster who said to stop putting her into diapers for naptime right now. I hate to say it, but she may need to have an accident or two before she fully understands that it's better to go ahead and at least try to use the potty than to wait and wait for the diaper. Letting her have a diaper at naptime means she knows in advance that she can urinate then. It will be much harder for her to hold everything ALL day until bedtime if she does not have the diaper option coming at naptime.

skip the diapers for nap time and instead encourage her to go before laying down.

But night dryness is different of course so don't push that until it starts happening naturally.

Make sure she's ready; if she's never using the potty, she may not be. My pediatrician said to wait until the child is ready, and she will want to use it herself. My daughter was over three herself, after a couple of false starts. I have let her lead the way, and we have had few accidents. I have also read about the risk infection so that's a good reason to wait.
There's no rush! She won't be in diapers by college, trust me!

First of all, don't be embarassed... most kids I know are not fully potty trained until almost 3- some even later. My daughter used to do this too. Especially with poop. I realized it was a control thing... if she was capable of holding it, she knew what to do. So, I finally put down some old towels and put the potty chair in the corner of her room. I told her she could just do it herself before naptime if she had to go and call me if she needed me to wipe. This worked for us. Onces she was successful on her own terms.. we just told her, "now that you know what to do, we have to move the potty back to the bathroom where it belongs." Just an idea... Good Luck.

My doctor doesn't recommend even starting potty training until three unless you think you're just is wildly signaling that s/he's ready. So it's not embarrassing at all.

I don't think 3 is embarrassing. It's alot more common than you think. What you do really depends on how much you can handle.

I would just keep showing her, and let her try when she's interested, but wouldn't push it much more.

If you can handle the messes and frustration...then being consistent is what's going to help her along the most.

GOOD LUCK!!

I was going to post a similar question myself. My son, almost 3, was interested in the potty, and doing okay. Contrary to what someone posted, he NEVER had anything come out when he sat on the potty at regular interval, but twice when he was just running around naked he used the potty himself. Then he had an "accident" when he was sitting on the potty but the pee went all over the floor, and now he won't go near the potty. And when we let him run around naked, like your daughter, he'll go 5 hrs w/o peeing. Just doesn't feel healthy.

We have totally backed off. We talk about the potty a lot, but I'm not going to push it for another month, and hope he gets over his aversion to the potty.