I just enrolled my son into daycare part time three days a week. I am a SAHM but NEVER get any time to myself. I have no family around and it's hard to find a babysitter. I decided to put him in day care so I could exercise and maybe do a little consulting work. I feel so guilty and am going to miss him terribly. I don't have to put him in the daycare, but just want a little time to myself. My husband who works out of the house will not help out with taking my son for a few hours so I could have time to myself. I am just not sure if I am doing the right thing. HELP!
Well we are into our second week and everything is going well. He still cries a lot when I drop him off, but is happy as can be when I pick him up. And always wants to kiss and hug his care provider when he leaves. I still think I should be with him, but really enjoy my time for myself. Thanks everyone for your input. It really was a big help!!!
No one can tell you what's right for you. I can tell you that it's okay! Your son will not be ruined but will in fact get some time to learn about being around other children. Your son is VERY important, yes, but if his mommy doesn't take care of herself, that's bad for him, too. I think you made a good choice for yourself, so give it a try and if you still feel that guilty, don't do it. :-) You will be just fine!!
I agree with Nichole - as long as it's QUALITY daycare, not a "kid warehouse." Your child will be much better off if he has a balance of social, learning and quality time with his parents. The reality is, most children who have no preschool are at a social and academic disadvantage once they get to school. Here's a link to an article I like on the subject. The conclusion is different than what you might guess by reading the first paragraph.
http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/887196/study_stokes_l...
J. Smithson
Loving Hands Learn 'n' Play
http://www.lhlearnandplay.com
A.,
I have a home family daycare and I have two SAHM that bring their darlings over every now and then for some mommie time. One started preschool this year (just 3 times a week) and the mom said if the child did not come here she could not guess how hard it would have been for both of them. As once stated before as long as you feel it is a quality daycare. Good luck and have fun with mommie time.
I understand how you feel about not getting any time to yourself. My twins are about to be 2 in October. I get zero time to myself because my kids are so attached to me. I feel bad when I do leave, but I know that the separation is good for all of us. Don't feel guilty about leaving him for a few hours, think of it as giving him the time and experience he needs to be social around other kids. I am about to start looking for day care for my kids as well. It's been a tough decision, but for financial reasons it's best for me to get back to work. I have been feeling the guilt as well, but I'm trying to think positive about it, and I'm hoping for the best.
It's PERFECTLY okay. LOTS of mom's do that... I have friends (who are also SAHM's) who do that. No worries. Really. It's totally normal and wise. You DO need time to yourself, since you have no one to help you, including your husband. (which I'm sure is hard on you). Plus, think about it this way, your son will gain in socialization and other skills learned in day-care. It will keep him active and learning new things he wouldn't get at home. There is pro's and con's to everything. But you have to do what you "need" and can do. Unfortunately, you can't rely on anyone else. Your boy is almost 2 yrs. old, and at this age they get more active and are actually "ready" for this kind of stage in their development. Everyone is different, but DON'T feel bad. Don't feel guilty. If your husband complains about it, just tell him that HE is not willing to help, so you made your own solution to the situation. Good luck and it will be nice for you to have your "own" time to yourself. All Mom's deserve that! Take care...
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo
I have the same problem with my husband - he works and goes to school fulltime so there is little time to help out with baby. Our baby is 3 months old. Maybe we could exchange babysitting or just talk.
Hello A.,
I am not sure where you are located and where you are seeking a daycare provider. I am in the San Fernando Valley in Mission Hills. I have a family daycare and have mimicked my daycare to childcare facilities. I did this because when doing my research with other family home daycares, realized that home daycares lack structure and education as well as social skills. The standard, I noticed, was placing the child in front of the television and just making sure the child stays out of havoc. I believe in safety, education, and development. In addition, I feel that it is imperative that children feel comfortable and have mentors, as well as development. We offer Reading, Mathematics, Social Studies, Language Arts, Arts and Crafts, Play time, Computer lab (September 2009)**, and Potty training. I have newsletters to discuss events, before and after school pick-ups/drop offs, we offer many events, not only for the children, but for the parents as well. As stated, we are very much like a facility, with very reasonable rates. Let me know if you are interested in literature on our daycare to get a better understanding of what we offer and our rates.
Thanks,
N.
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