Stage Fright

It's most likely a phase. Some kids are naturally comfortable performing, others aren't. But, just like stranger anxiety, almost all kids go through a phase of stage fright.

If it's something that she really wants to do, but is scared, give her support and encouragement. Tell her that everyone, even very experienced performers, get nervous before a performance, and that it kind of keeps them on their toes. (I play with an orchestra, have on and off since high school, and still get nervous every time, especially if I have even the tiniest solo).
If it's something she's not so into, don't push it. If it is something like a ballet recital, and her whole class is going to be doing it, encourage her to give it a try, but if she backs out at the last minute, let her know it is okay, she can try again next time (and ever notice how many little girls in their first ballet recital freeze up or run off the stage? very normal). Just don't push her into it if she's not ready, it'll likely increase the anxiety for the next time!

Don't make her perform if she doesn't want to.

Have her eat a banana about an hour before the performance. Something about the potassium calming the nerves. This is what my kids' piano teacher told them to do before a recital or competition.

My kids are 12, 15 and 18 and none of them has ever enjoyed being on stage, even though I LOVED it from my early childhood all the way through my teens. Find out what SHE likes to do and encourage that instead :)

If she doesn't want to take part in a performance, let her sit on the sidelines and watch. As she gets older and more opportunities arise, encourage (but don't force) her to take part; even if at first it's just a small part in a skit or play, like a person in the background

I doubt that it's just a phase, but something she will grow out of.

When my daughter was in 1st grade, she was supppose to take place in a Girl Scout skit, by walking accross the "stage" and handing a prop to one of the characters. She had a huge anxiety attack. She was truly terrified. In elementary school, she managed to sing with the class. In 5th grade, she came up with a lie so she wouldn't have to participate in the school spelling bee, because of the stage fright. She's now in high school, participates in band and chorus and has worked her way up to performing a duet in front of a smaller group. She's still afraid to perform by herself.

It might just be a phase. Just don't force her. My youngest daughter was OK with a group, but not if she had to do it by herself. Now she is older and just LOVES being on stage. She has a solo part in a play and is so excited.

Good luck!

Stage fright is very normal for 4 yr. olds, for 14 yr olds and for 34 yr olds. Research has shown that 88% of people have said they are afraid to speak/ perform in front of others at some point in their life.

Try the book "Shyness" by Dr. Bernardo Carducci for suggestions that are age appropriate on how to deal with this.

Another key: Remember that not everyone is a born extrovert. Some people are meant to be quiet by nature....and that's perfectly OK!

Happy Mothers Day.