and you break a very expensive china bowl by accidently dropping it on the floor and it shatters, would you replace it? Or is it the responsiblity of the hostess bc she shouldn't have let other people touch it?
I asked this because I was surprised at the number of people who told the mom that the family of the boy who caused a laptop to need repair or replacement doesn't have any obligation to pay for it or at least chip in bc they were guests in her home. Some blame was put on the daughter for having a glass of water anywhere near the laptop but in my mind, if she's not clutzy at all, that was her risk. She didn't imagine a ball flying through the air and hitting it. Seems to be a reasonable expectation just like a hostess wants to use her nice dishes. And in the case of a bowl slipping out of a guest's hands, that's a total accident versus misbehaviour and ignoring instruction to not touch the bowl. So I don't get the difference. Almost everyone thinks the guest should pay for a replacement bowl bc it's the right thing to do... But many or most people say the boy's family shouldn't have to pay to repair the laptop. I don't see the difference.
If someone broke one of mine I wouldn't instant they pay for a new one. That being said, I wouldn't have them back when I'm bringing out the good dishes if they didn't sincerely offer to replace it. I would feel obligated to.
As a guest, I would offer to pay for the damage I caused, accident or not. As a host, I would decline the offer.
I think the difference is that the bowl slipping from the guest's hands was a total accident that did not hinge on bad behavior of the guest.
Whereas the little boy and the laptop, the accident was caused because of his misbehavior.
There is NOT always someone to blame; accidents happen. However, the little boy was to blame for the laptop because he threw the ball after being told not to do that in the house.
Had the hostess told the guest not to pick up the bowl and the guest did it anyway, then the guest should pay for the damage.
People need to suffer the logical consequences of THEIR choices and actions.
To me, the computer FAR more than the bowl.
Why?
Because he was told, repeatedly, to STOP throwing the ball in the house.
His mother was there with him in the house and she was not supervising him or stopping him from repeatedly breaking the rules (making it joint responsibility).
If a guest dropped one of my pieces, I'd write it off.
If a guest was THROWING one of my pieces (or swinging someone around, or in any other way being totally careless or ignoring my repeated requests that they stop xyz), then I'd ask them to replace it.
To me... that's the same as the computer. If it had been a pure accident, I'd have eaten the cost. If, however, as it was... it was an expected thing to happen (hence the rule of not doing xyz), I'd ask for them to cover the cost of their carelessness.
Breaker should offer.
As a hostess, I would decline the offer.
No of course I'd offer to replace it. If the hostess kept insisting that it was ok and I didn't have to pay then I guess at least I tried. I'd never just assume that I didn't have to pay. It's rediculous to think that it's her fault because she should assume that people are going to drop it.
Something similar happened to me once. I broke a crystal wine glass at a book club dinner party. The hostess was a former roommate of mine. I sent her a gift certificate to a department store that sells fine china and crystal, although I would be surprised if she was able to find the exact same pattern. I still see her, but never really followed up on it.
By your reasoning, what's the point of all those expensive china and crystals people put on their wedding registry? Should you only use them when it's only you and your spouse having dinner?
I'm a firm believer of 'you break it, you bought it'. I would definitely apologize profusely for the accident and offer to replace it. If my hostess decline, I would buy her a very nice bottle of wine as an apology.
You break it, you bought it.
But i like that defense - it's not my fault because you shouldn't have let me. Ingenious!
Any time you break something at someone else's home, it is your responsibility to fess up and replace it.
Ha! This is hypothetical, of course, right?
If I were invited to *your* hypothetical party and attended, and I broke your beautiful china bowl, of course I would offer to pay for it or to replace it. Even though I did it accidentally, I was the one who caused the damage.
Happily, this IS all hypothetical, because if your car were in your driveway and I accidentally ran into it as I was parking mine, you would want me to offer to foot the bill (the part that insurance didn't cover) rather than saying, "Well, it's your own fault - why didn't you put your car in the garage?"
Well if it was an accident during the moving around of food, dishes and/or eating then I think it is just that, an accident, and the hostess should not expect you to replace it. If perhaps you knocked something off a table or mantle because you or your children were rough-housing or you swung your purse around and it shattered on the floor, then yes, probably offering to pay for it would be polite.
I don't think the hostess was in the wrong however. It's her china, she wants people to use it, she shouldn't have to feel like no on should touch it...what fun is that?!
If I were in this situation I would not expect my guest to pay for it, but yes I would be majorly bummed!
Of course I would replace something if I broke it. That is just the right thing to do, period.
I would offer to replace it, (and hope they told me I didn't have to.) :)
Unfortunately, even in accidental matters, we have to apologize and offer to pay or replace.
if you break something in someones home, you replace it, if they came into your home and broke something big, very old and expensive, you would want them to replace the item..right ?
K. h.
the person who breaks it should pay for it
I broke my friend's goblet at a dinner party. It was one of a kind. I gave her another drinking vessel at a later event, but there was no replacing the first one. And it didn't cost $1200, either.
I think the etiquette says that you would replace it with a similar item, it does not have to be exact item. It's the gesture that counts not the exact value of the item.
Wow... I would totally offer to replace it. Granted, if it is some antiquity, well, good luck with that, but I would offer to make a reasonable replacement. If everyone is using good judgment (not putting out something irreplaceable or extremely fragile AND offering to replace something broken) it will usually be settled easily.
ETA: P., why did you use a different hypothetical? I'm just curious? The first scenario suggests that things are entirely accidental. Then the second suggests that the damage was caused by both misbehavior and circumstance. Was there a previous question that I missed?
I was always taught that if you break something, you fix it or replace it. You'd be surprised how many people never learned this very simple rule.
If I could afford to - I would buy her something similar if I couldnt find an exact replacement. If I couldn't afford it , I would apologize profusely.
If its an accident, offer to replace it. As the hostess, I would not accept the offer to replace it because it was an accident.
So long as you were not juggling them, no.
Ms. Manners just had this question yesterday. Of course you offer to pay, nd the host should refuse payment.
Offer to replace it.
i am confused why is this a spinoff, but regardless whether a very expensive china, cheap china, lalptop etc, you break you replace. even if the hostess says it's ok, no it's not and common courtesy would make me replace it.
My mother in law has broken plenty of my crystal/china over the years and I've never asked her to replace them. I keep my special/sentimental pieces away from her. A friend's son was over and he broke a lamp. I told the parents and they offered to replace it, but I said not to worry about it. It was an accident (it truly was).
The laptop question is tricky. It's one of those things where the parent of the boy should have at least offered to replace the laptop or pay for the repair at that time. But since she didn't, they can ask for reimbursement, but they most likely won't get it.
I don't know, I had a dinner party once and a guest actually went into our cabinet for a glass and ened up breaking a crystal one worth $80. He did not offer to replace it, but I would never have asked him to. If the tables were turned, I would absolutely have paid for what I broke, but I would never ask someone to pay for something they broke by accident in my home.
If you broke it and can afford to replace it do so. Some items can't be replaced.
If I picked up the bowl and chucked it across the room at the annoying guy in the corner...yes, I would pay for it.
If I could afford to replace it, I probably would. However, the hostess should say "oh, how terrible! I really loved that bowl but accidents happen." and let it go. She assumed the risk by having a dinner party and accidents are just that, accidents. Deliberate destruction of property is a whole other pumpkin.
Of course the hostess will most likely not take you up on the offer to rplace it. Therefore, I would, as Cindy said, give her a gift certificate to use at a store that sold similar goods.
I had a guest fall through a wicker chair. We all laughed. the chair was not old--just inexpensive. I would have loved to get a thank you replacement giftcard for it... He did not offer; I did not ask.
