I'm worried my daughter WILL BECOME too pushy or annoying. She is almost 4yo and has very little social time with other kids. During the winter we have to stay inside because I get very cold easily. It's been a long winter. We can't afford preschool right now but hopefully we can send her part time in the fall. She's an only child and will get so excited when she does get to play with other kids that she will make bad choices.
I really, really get cold. I wear 3 pairs of pants and 4 shirts with a heavy winter coat when its 30 degrees out and I can only last 20 minutes.
My house is so cold I get out of it as much as possible in the winter because public places are much warmer! I especially like play dates at houses with carpet. Ahhh, to sink my toes into the plush while sipping a cup of coffee...
You have to seek out options for her to socialize if you are not going to be able to enroll her in a pre-school environment.
Some park districts have free/inexpensive programs for pre-school or gymnastics or whatever that you could send her.
it will be important when she gets to Kindergarten that she is able to follow directions and play in a group.
Even if you get "cold" you need to bundle up and get her to an activity or whatever a couple times each week. This winter has actually been quite mild compared to last year - so I'm not sure why you can't go out??? And there is always the library - they have FREE programs.
You can also invite kids over to YOUR house - then you don't have to leave.
Kids need to learn about socializing, no matter what their personality or age.
They need to learn boundaries/right wrong/and how to discern friends and other situations/and how to get along with others. This is learned by the parent teaching them and practicing social skills and values.
Invite other kids to your home.
Make friends with other Moms.
Bundle up and clothe yourself warmly and just take her out. To parks etc.
Google search Mommy groups or play groups for your town.
It takes initiative.
See if your State, has state funded preschool programs. These will be at a reduced tuition. It takes research on your part. And asking questions. For programs in your city.
Your child is at an age, where they need more interaction.
More play dates. Ask kids over to your house in the winter. Make your house a kid friendly house. I think she will outgrow it if you continue to teach her your values.
Whatever happens..... she is who she is. Do your best to embrace it.
Find indoor socializing options. Make friends!
1. Library programs
2. Local children's museum programs
3. Local wood kingdom playtime
4. Or some kind of bookstore Barnes and Noble programs
5. A local children's indoor playplace like bouncers type of thing
6. Disney stores do alot of activities (at least near us).
Get local news and find activities and DO THEM! Kids need to be socialized. Social skills are not native, they are learned and they learn best by playing with others!! These things are more important than preschool even. If you cannot afford preschool, do socializing type of activities!!
Take a deep breath -- you're worrying about behaviors that have not happened yet and may never happen. You're fretting that your child might become something she hasn't and might never become.
A child can have tons of exposure to other kids and still be pushy, annoying, a bully, whatever. A child can have little exposure to other kids and turn out kind, willing to share, friendly. Don't brand your child as beiing a potentially pushy playmate when you haven't even seen her in action playing with other kids much.
And don't worry that being an only child means she'll "make bad choices" when she plays with other kids because she'll be so excited. It's a myth that only childen somehow don't know how to play well with others! They often are so glad to play with other kids that instead of being pushy, they offer to do anything the other child wants and are extra good about sharing -- my only child and plenty of her only-child friends were all like that at your daughter's age, while some kids who had siblings tended to be more defensive about their toys and their space because they were used to defending their stuff against their siblings. So don't worry about her being an only child.
Have other kids over. And your child can play inside -- mall play areas, friends' houses, moms' groups. In fact it sounds like you both could use a good mom-and-child playgroup; seek one out both for her social interaction and for your own benefit in talking with other moms who can advise you about these kinds of things. You'll both enjoy it. Try your local health care system (some of them do sponsor these); your community center; local churches that host such groups, etc.
There are plenty of inexpensive/free "indoor" activities out there. I understand that you get really really cold, but that's no reason to stay inside your house for 4 months, especially if you are worried about your child socializing.
Google your area and see what's out there! In our area a family membership to the children's museum (2 adults, 2 kids plus 2 guest passes) is under $100 per year. We go all the time! They have play groups that are usually $5 per session for members, but $10 for non-members. They also do free activities for members around different holidays. This year alone we've made (along with demonstrations/performances) Chinese lanterns, sparkly fireworks, Lincoln hats, New Year's Eve party at midday and three puppet shows.
Do you go to church? If you do, your daughter will certainly meet other people and get social time, on Sundays and Wednesdays. And it's inside.
Baby sit some girls her age and observe her while they are playing.
Teach her how to behave. If she gets excited, remind her that she can be excited, but she needs to calm down so other kids will play with her. My SD used to be really bossy and we told her (away from the other kids) that she had to remember to share and let people make choices for themselves or she'd push her friends away. She was about 8. She's a well-socialized senior in HS now and has mostly learned when to be "herself" and when to tone it down. I would just gently remind her how to behave and see where it goes, just like I might tell my DD, "Be gentle. Hugs shouldn't knock people over. No shoving." I think she'll be alright.
In the winter, consider nature centers, malls and libraries for outings.
Teachers know how to deal with this for the most part. My son's poor teacher has a class of 10 and at least 4 of them have ADHD and other forms of sensory issues and speech delays - they have all figured out ways to play well and not be "that kid" with eachother - your daughter, who I am assuming is typical since you did not disclose any "issues" will pick up on this easily from teacher in school.
C., it's ok. by the time she enters kindergarten she will flourish. i had my kids with me only until they were 5. we over 3 times from birth to age 5 so we didn't get to make friends. we did stuff together all the time, much less during winter because like you i am cold all the time. my kids are very social because they are happy and spirited kids but they have not yet made best friends or close friends (age 7 now). they treat other kids good and respect boundaries. that is all i wanted them to teach anyhow. i also want to teach that that family comes first and that friends come and go and that is part of life. so don't fret. spend time with her best you can, engage in conversations with her, read books, do crafts, cooking together. don't worry about way you can't do with her, come up with things you can do within limits.
