Ok moms~ I hope someone has experienced this because right now I feel a bit frustrated and hopeless. First off my son will be turning 1 in less than 3 weeks. The past week or so my son has started acting up even more than normal. Lately, nothing makes him happy. In the mornings he plays in his crib for a bit but the minute I try to take him out of his crib he throws himself backwards and screams. Same thing when I try to get him dressed, feed him or really anything? My son has always been so sweet and a great baby so his behavior is very frustrating for us. My husband works for the government so his schedule is always changing from days to night and he works most weekends, so on top of being a full time working mom sometimes I am also a single mom. My mother-n-law helps me out a lot when I need her. I guess my question is what can I do? I ignore him when he acts this way but sometimes I can't ignore it when its time to get up and moving? There are days I feel like a bad mom because I don't know what to do for him? Is this normal for a 1 year old to change like this?
I learned from other moms that the terrible 2's phrase is a little of a misnomer. People think that is should happen after they turn two but really it can and usually does start way before then. During the second year of life. Both my boys started the terribleness at about 18mo. You're not alone :)
Awww, I totally feel for you. I would highly recommend the book (it's short, easy-read) called "To Train Up A Child." It has changed our lives dramatically in how we parent. Their website is nogreaterjoy.org.
What would I do? I would "tie heart strings" with him all day long- bond with him, tickle him, play with him, hold him, hold him, hold him. Then when he does act up it's time for calm, patient M. to let him know his behavior is unacceptable. It's funny, I've trained my 18month old son to not do something one day (and it's a battle) and the very next day, he's completely obedient and remembered his training. Email me if you want me to elaborate more or just want some moral support. The fact that you're staying at home full-time will only make it easier!!
OMG....I am so glad I am not the only one going through this right now, lol. I am so glad you ask this. God bless you.
T.
he could be teething. thats always frustating. pick your battles. be firm with your discipline. i used to tell my daughter she will get spanked and if she didnt listen i would do just that. but after a few times of sticking to my guns the threat of it was enough to stop the behavior. tell himm his behavoir is unexceptable and to go to his room. most important though is to tell him when he feels he can act right he is more than welcome to join you. this works better than any time out and it gives your child the responsibility of learning how to calm himself and see the difference in his attitude
Yes my son started terrible two's way before he was 2. I felt like he was 2 for forever. Now he will be 3 next week and we starting independent 3's. Everyone keeps telling me 3 is much worse than 2, but I'm thinking it's not as bad, he's just growing up and can express himself easier.
That's one thing about your son's age, is that they have a hard time expressing themselves at that age. You just have to be patient with them, which doensn't always happen. I've done way more yelling than I would have like to to all of my kids, but I've realized I'm not perfect and my kids know that I love them, but that sometimes mommmy just has a short fuse some days.
My husband travels for a living so I feel ya on the single working mom bit. I have 3 kids at home; a 13 year old bonus son, almost 3 year old little boy, and a 9 month old little girl, and I have a step-daughter who lives out of state, that visits frequently.
It can be rough doing on your own most of the time, but jsut do the best you can with what you have.
Good LUck!
You have described my son exactly. He has a sweet, loving, happy side, but when he is unhappy or angry or I disturb him, he turns into a screaming, crying mess. I just went through 30 minutes at the pedi's office this morning dealing with this behavior for practically the whole time we were there. I wish I could say it gets better, but for my son it hasn't and he is 18 months today. Some days are better than others and some days I have more patience. I try to use distraction or sing songs when I have to dress him or change his diaper, but it doesn't always work and then I just have to let him scream and get it done fast. I know it will all end one day. I don't think he'll be crying about getting dressed when he's ten!! Good luck!
Your child is developing a personality and beginning to understand he has choices. Be patient. That is one of the things that makes a good mom, but I have to think you are already a good mom or you wouldn't be trying to figure out a way to make things better. Avoid anger and give him warnings. Tell him you are going to take him out of the crib in 5 minutes and ask him to finish playing. Maybe he just needs a little more time to transition.
I think the "terrible two's" is the most aggregiously misnamed phenomenon. I should be the "terrible one to threes". My youngest son just turned one. He has discovered that he can scream (and he does so, just for fun). He has discovered that he can say "no". (and he does so, just for fun.) He throws remarkable tantrums. But my son and your son are not alone in the behavior. My little ones older brothers and sisters all showed "terrible two" tendencies way before they were two. I recommend "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp. If nothing else, you will understand what your little guy is going through.
Like the other moms said, it's a tough time for them. They've figured out you're seprate from them, which is scary; and that they also have their own separate needs, which is probably interesting for them and scary at the same time. Helping him to have some measure of control might help.
Be with him as much as you can, and involve him in as much as you can - like have him help pick out the clothes he wants to wear, tell him what's going on and what will be going on. If you haven't already, look into baby sign language - there are some great books out there and all you need are some basic signs to help him tell you what he wants which will make him feel better.
It sounds to me like he misses you and needs more attention. If your life is as busy and chaotic as it sounds, then it is not surprising it is negatively affecting him. A one year old isn't capable of manipulating you, they can't plan like that. He is doing his best to communicate his feelings. The worst thing you can do is ignore him more when he's crying out for attention.
When I read this post, I felt like I was reading about my nephew. He will be 1 on Feb 7th and I actually watch him full time M-F. I have 2 boys of my own 5.5 years and 3 years. This behavior is all normal to me. My boys did the same thing and my nephew who is the same age as yours is exactly like that right now. He has always been a pretty good baby but over the past several weeks, he has been throwing these insane screaming fits for no reason. Don't know what to tell you other than you are not alone and it will totally get better as time goes on. The term terrible 2's is like the term morning sickness. It can happen at any age, anytime!!
Well, my first threw her first wall-eyed fit the day after her first birthday. I think my second child blessed us with this experience somewhere in his 11th month. It's just him flexing his toddler will power muscles.
One thing that might help is to start getting in the habit of letting him know what's going on. All this time you've been able to go from one thing to the next and just pick him up and take him along, or move him along without telling him about it. He doesn't get a choice in the matter, of course, but some preparation might help him transition better. So, in the morning, instead of just picking him up, first let him know it's morning, time to get up, and say what you'll do next. Maybe even let him play for one minute before you come back to get him, and continue letting him know what comes next in your routine. Remember that your TELLING him what's next, not asking.
He's just testing to see how much control he can have over you and the routine. Don't give it to him. The fits just get worse if you do!
