Whiney 16M Old Please Help!!!

I ususally ignore my 18 month old son when he gets real whiney. What has also helped is teaching him sign language. It enables him to communicate with me and now he usually only whines when he's tired/hungry (and too impatient to sign). Baby signs is a great book to get started with and you'd be amazed at how quickly kids their age can pick them up! Good luck!

First and foremost...be patient. You're son is entering what they call the terrible two's, and they call them that for a reason.
You said you aren't sure what his dad does with him at home..you need to talk to him about this. If he is parenting equally, then communication on how you raise your son is key. Not just now, but in the future.
If he asks for something he's capable of getting, or your busy..tell him to go get it or wait until youre done. But remember that kids this age dont have a lot of patience, so mommy has to. If he pitches a tantrum, ignore it and tell him you are going to ignore him. Then do..tantrums are a childs way of 1.getting attention, and 2. relieving stress.

When he's worn himself out, give him a hug, tell him that you love him, and then ask him again to get what he wants himself. Just make sure he is capable of doing what you're asking.
If he whines, tell him you don't hear whining..that you'll listen when he can ask like the big boy he is. Dont yell, dont fuss, just ignore the whining and keep reminding him that you'll help him when he speaks, not whines.
He'll eventually get the picture. Kids are habitual, and whatever gets them what they want is what they will continue to do. You must reteach him better ways of getting his wants taken care of.
Your husband must follow thru with this as well. So talk to him about it.
Warning: Whining and such is pretty normal at this age, and can take a while to stop.
As far as the slapping is concerned..when he hits, put him in his room or his crib...but only for a minute..he is too young to understand being left alone for long. Tell him that hitting is a no,no..and that it hurts mommy and makes her sad. When you go back and get him, make sure that you hug him and tell him you love him. If you are consistent he will figure out that every time he hits, he gets put in his room.
Good luck.

the word no is gonna be your best friend. no, you don't hit mommy then walk away. at this age they do understand, don't let them fool you. when he doesn't get what he wants distract him with something else, you gotta love short term memory. there are times when she does go mental on me. if you make it a big drawn out deal then he knows he will get attention when he does it. then he'll do it again. my daughter use to drop herself on the ground if she wasn't happy. at first i made it a big deal and after a while when she drop and saw no one was paying attention she stopped. i found when you don't talk to them like a baby they tend to act that way. instead of screaming i'd ask her, then tell me what you want, don't cry. then she'd point or say baba(bottle). remember they can't communicate verbally so the next best thing is a fit. i learned that the hard way. good luck.

I don't really have any advice because my 20 month old does the same things! He will follow me around whining and it drives me crazy, he throws tanturms and hits and throws things! I am 20 weeks pregnant, so I am really trying to break him of this, as quick as possible! But I really just wanted to say that his dad probably isn't doing anything wrong, he is probably going through the same things with him that you do! As you see from mine and other responses, it's not just your son who acts this way! I think that once they reach between 14 and 18 months they start acting this way! My nephews and nieces and younger siblings all did! There is honestly nothing you can do other than maybe try to reward good behavior, my son loves when he does something good and we cheer for him, "Yeah Ethan!"!

This is really typical of his age. I would suggest you try to ignore as much as possible so that it does not turn into attention seeking behavior (negative attention is better than none...). By walking away and saying something like "Mommy doesn't play with people who hit" you might get your point across better than if you over react. I have a 25 mo. old who is going through a hitting stage and I am trying to be patient enough to take my own advice...Developmentally though, your child has probably figured out that if he does this he can make Mommy do ____. Change the rules by ignoring him or walking away then in a few weeks he will find a better way to get your attention. (or at least a new way to annoy you.) The only other thing I would recommend first would be to make sure he does not have an ear infection or other illness that is making him out of sorts- or did his sleep schedule change? - If it is not any of those things just wait it out- each annoying phase if ignored usually goes away within a few weeks. Oh and there is a great book..."No Biting!" that you can get at the bookstore or library that goes through a lot of those things....read it to him when he is in a good mood. For example "No Hitting Mommy!" "What can you hit?" open the flap- "A Drum!" it goes on and is fairly entertaining to children learning these lessons...Both of my daughters still need those reminders and even the 4 year old still likes to read it...(She was a vicious biter at age 1...)Hope this helps!
I also understand the single mom thing- I'm one, too with a full time job...I'm just hoping the 2 of them don't figure out how to gang up on me too soon. For now though, ignoring as much as possible that is annoying or irritating and really making an extra big deal over the good stuff is working pretty well- you might not think that if you see me in public- both of my girls are very spirited but they really are fun and I do think they get it, eventually. Also, for the independence issues, you can try using little pitchers and letting him try to pour his own juice and scoop out his own food with tongs or a spoon if you don't mind a little more mess- if he is like mine you might not notice the difference it is so messy anyway- but then when he stays with other people he will be so proud of his skills he will start making other people let him do things by himself and be more independent without you having to explain that much to other adults...it takes time but it does work...

LOL! The whole kiss and make it better and lets forget it happened. We have five children (4 boys and baby girl), our second child did that around the age of your son. At first we were surprised, "Where did he learn that?", we started to back up if he tried and then get on the floor to talk to him that hitting was not alright, that it hurts, etc.... When they are this little you have to use a SHORT simple statement on what you are wanting to get across. Not sure if time outs will be effective this early, we would not play with our son after he hit for at least five minutes. When he would try to get us to play, we would say "No, you hit Mommy, it's not nice". Just stay consistent and this shall pass, he is just testing things out. Luckily none of my children did the whining thing, my older sisters kids did, but my Mom said that was pay back to her. It did eventually pass, alot of frustration for her though so I do wish you the best for that to stop soon! Good Luck!

I read the first words other than mama and dada that a child learns is the word no. When he starts throwing a tantrum and hitting you tell him no. Tell him, "you do not hit mommy". If he doesn't understand right away he will the more you say it. You could try everytime he hits you put him in time out. Sit him down until he stops. I would say ignore the whinning but I have a 3 year old who whines a lot and it drives me crazy. She whines even when she talks and I can't say ignore it because I can't ignore my own. Ask your husband about it too because you two need to be on the same page in order for your son to understand. If he doesn't get one way with you and he does get it with his dad then that will start a bad pattern. You do need to help him with a few things but starting independence is good. Don't push it to hard though. I still help my girls and they are 4 and 3 but they are very independent girls. All I can say is talk to your husband about a type of disipline and stick with it because all kids need consistency. You both have to agree on something. Since he's hitting you then spanking really wouldn't work. So telling him no and putting him in time out might work. Just make him sit there til he stops. He'll get it soon enough.

This sounds like typical toddler behavior. Help your son learn some words or signals to tell you what he needs, and let him know he won't get it from whining. At 16 months he is not ready to be independent yet though, so you still need to do lots of stuff for him. In a few months he'll be fighting you to do things for himself, and really slowing you down! Just give him lots of love, and try to communicate with him the best you can.

it is typical of the age. Just keep telling him not to hit you - it will take many months of saying it. whenever he starts a tempertantrum, redirect his attention away from the object that he's crying about.