P.M.
Two things: If children are exposed at home to many common products, especially scented or "chemicalized" ones like air fresheners, fabric softeners, household cleaners, glues and solvents, mothballs, or food additives like artificial colors and preservatives, their brains can, in effect, short out so only the more primitive areas are active, and rage or despair are common effects in sensitive children.
Many ADD kids have been shown to be sensitive to these exposures. I've participated in group testing and watched kids go from calm to screaming within four minutes after a tiny amount of some chemical was squirted under their tongues. And a recent very large study in Britain verified that kids who are already prone to hyperactivity become measurably worse when the food additives are given to them.
Second, I would really want to focus on the listening skills, and that is often a two-way process; parents benefit from learning how to be more effective listeners, too, and how to coax the best from their children. There's a fabulous book that can help you with this called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. I've recommended this book in recent months to a few families with one or more "problem" children, and have seen some pretty amazing positive changes.