Something Has to Give

Short of us having a talk with your husband, you've ruled out every solution my little brain could come up with.

Sounds like your finances are the main problem. No offense, but when you can't afford $40 for a day of babysitting/daycare, and you are BOTH working full time jobs, things are too tight.

I suggest looking over your budget to see where all the money is going, and what is low on the priority list that can be sacrificed to give you some money to pay a babysitter once or twice a week.

YOu need to hire some help. Maybe not full time help. What can you afford? You have to really look at your budget and put some money aside even if it to have a 13 year old come over after school and handle the baby for 2 hours. Can you spare $40 a week? Hire her for two days a week. Can you spare $60? Get her for 3 hours two days a week. or whatever. Figure out some chunk of change you can put toward some help and do it.

I can't imagine working FT from home without professional help to care for a baby/toddler. Your basic problem is you need help and can't afford it. Why can't you afford it? I also can't afford childcare, but my mom and MIl watch my kids for free the 3 days my husband's and my work schedules overlap. If i didn't have that... I'd have to pay for childcare. And something else would have to give. Our house would be smaller. We'd be in a rental.
So what is it that has to give for you, to be able to afford some help?

S.--wow--you're juggling a lot!
Is your WAH position hour-sensitive? Can you do it any hours or do you have to be available during certain daylight hours?

My son is older now but no way could I have been working from home FT when he was a toddler! (Don't have that cloning thing figured out yet!).

I'll assume that he's still napping. 1 or 2 naps per day?

Here's what I would try to do:
I would try to put in an hour (maybe two) before he's up in the morning -- if possible.
Then I would focus on him & household stuff until nap time(s).
Work during nap times. (I know it's tempting to clean, etc., while he's napping, but focus on the work at those times.)
After naps, get dinner together & spend more time with your son.

IF you can, have your 11 year old cover O. hour after school. Ask her to make a small commitment. Pay her! LOL

And, seriously, your husband NEEDS to step it up. He can cover dinner a few nights per week AND he can cover bath time a few nights per week.
My husband (50) has a physically demanding job and rarely works less than 55 hours per week. And he STILL cooks twice per week AND did bath time when our son was younger. Your husband is going to have to push through it! No sympathy here. :)

MAYBE you can squeeze in a few hours after your little O. is in bed?
Maybe the problem is that you're trying to work ALL the time with ALL else going on? Try to compartmentalize your time a little more. Then when you;re playing with your son, you won't feel like you "should" be working and vice-versa?

All of this and maybe that O. day per week where your mom helps out--can she take him to HER house--even better for concentration and less distraction!

It will still be super long days for you and unless your husband picks up the pace a little it won't work.

Seriously consider getting out of Dodge for an ENTIRE Sat or Sunday and he might just appreciate what you're trying to juggle every day!

Good luck.

Here are some possible options:
1) Your 11 year old should not be able to opt out of helping out. Either baby-sitting or doing laundry or cleaning up. It needs to be tied to some privledge that is not given if the work is not done.

2) Don't clean house. Seriously. Just keep it clean enough that it wouldn't fail a health inspection and let the rest go.

In fact, you could make it so that if your daughter and husband don't help with laundry, they don't have anything clean to wear. Tell them politely *first* that you can't do it anymore and that this is how it needs to be now. Your 11 year old will probably step up. Husband? Who knows.

3) Do try to keep in mind that he may be reading articles at work as a stress-reliever too - or he may do it on break so he has something to discuss with you. He may read them all in a 15 minute period, but you're so exhausted that hearing about it makes it seem extraordinary.

4) Politley tell your husband that you need a day off - on the weekend (or whenever he's off), he'll be taking over baby-care. Go do something, anything else, for the day. He clearly has no idea how much work a baby can be and maybe this will wake him up. Repeat this step as needed.

My husband is a SAHD but he never learned to keep house and I have spent every holiday for as long as I can remember doing laundry( and of course there's more, but this is your vent, not mine:). I clean the kitchen daily. I clean the bathrooms when they are so nasty I can't stand it. And I let the rest pile up. He wanted to be a SAHD (I wanted to be a SAHM) but if I did my job like he does his, I'd be fired. I have had to learn to *not* pick up the slack.

Start taking a multi vitamin.

Instead of stating everything you cannot do.. Start making the list of what you can do. There has to be a way for you to be more organized with your time. Figure out if that means using paper plates and cooking in a crock pot with a liner, to cut down on dirty dishes.

Get your husband to do the laundry on Saturdays. or at least be in charge of your child all day so you can run to the store.. etc.. I personally like to go at night, when there are less people shopping.

How are you performing with your job? What amount of tike do you need to get it done each day? I know I can get my work done if I can have 3 hours of uninterrupted time. So I could hire a sitter for 3 hours a day..

You have to Hire a sitter to care for your child. With summer coming up, there will be a ton of High school students looking for work. Maybe have them 3 times a week. Figure out where this money will come from..

Sell stuff on Craigslist or hold a big old Garage sale and clean out your house. The money you make off of it can pay for the sitter and your house will be less cluttered.

While your child naps, have the sitter, do your laundry.
Or, have them clean the kitchen.

When I was in high school I cared for a child for 2 years, 3 afternoons after I got out of school and during the summer for 2 afternoons, 12 - 5. I started dinner for the family.

Get your husband to be in charge of the bath every night. . and then lead him into being the one to put the baby to bed.

This is the ONLY time he is getting to see his child.. Just tell him.. the baby misses you.. I think this will be good for the 2 of you.

Forget your mother, she is obviously just too busy. It causes you too much stress.

Stop what you are doing and make a list of how you can make this work.

Not sure how much help this will be, but more just talking it out. You can't be a SAHM and work full time, that's obvious. Your 11 yr old daughter shouldn't have a choice in helping if you truly need her help, it's not a matter of if she needs money for something or not.
Something has to give, something will give! It could be your marriage, your job, the mental climate of the household.. something. Unless you can make a change.
Sit down with your husband and have a heart to heart with him about all of this. Don't ASSUME he knows where you are mentally and emotionally.
I hope you find peace and a resolution.

You husband NEEDS to help out. He chose to have kids and they are just as much his repsonsibility as yours. No way would I stand for mine doing that.

Your 11 year old is also a part of the family and if part of her job is to watch the baby for 2 hours a day, that's her contribution. Don't expect her to help with chores AND watch the baby.

Did you guys plan what you would do when you had another baby? Not trying to be mean, just asking.

Is there a college kid who can come over a few hours a few times a week so you can get caught up?

Does the baby nap?

You should hire somebody to come into your house for a half a day every day so that you can really get a grip on work. Something has to give -you will not be able to keep this up as your child gets older. I know because I tried it and it was hell. And not at all fair to my children. So...I would start with local senior centers. This seems like a natural fit for an older woman who would like to get out and who enjoys children. She would come to your home and watch your child somewhere that you are not. You could also find a teenager to do this once school gets out.

As for your husband, not sure what to tell you there. While I feel bad for women who have husbands like yours I can't help but feeling you are enabling him. Because I can tell you that I would never find myself in this predicament because I wouldn't take it. I would fight dirty and win. By tis I mean his clothes would literallly pile up in a corner, his junk that was left out hidden and meals made for me only. You guys are a parntership and it is BS that you are doing all the dirty work. So get tough on him.

Something's gotta give. You're going to need to cut back on some things (cable/phone/entertainment/food) in order to hire someone to come in and help you with your child while you work. How much is your mortgage/rent? You may need to make adjustments there, as well. Other than that, you may have to try and find a job that will pay you more so that you can afford childcare. I don't see any other solutions. It's a looooong time of 'the daily grind' until your youngest is in Kindergarten. As for your husband and eleven year old, their lack of aiding the family is unacceptable. A family meeting needs to be called and maybe a chore chart for EVERYONE needs to be put together. Your husband may view this as childish, but he's acting childish by skating by doing practically nothing around the house and with the baby. Good luck, the answer is out there, but choices must be made and they aren't gonna be easy!

your post is VERY hard to read...paragraphs are your friend!!!

sounds like you need several things to happen.

1. hire a cleaning crew to come in and clean the house.
2. hire a nanny or put your child in daycare while you are working. PERIOD. I KNOW the benefits of working from home - however - YOU ARE WORKING!!! If you were my employee and were falling behind - I would have a serious talk with you about it and if things didn't change - I would let you go.

You have YEARS before your 16 month old starts school. Put her in a day care NOW or hire a nanny.

Then you need to put yourself on a schedule and abide by it. You will be in bed by X time. And make it happen.

People who work from home make the false assumption that "well, I can take care of my kids here too" - no. you are WORKING. My boss doesn't pay me to take care of my kids. He pays me to place candidates. I don't know what you do but if you want to or need to keep your job - you need to put your child in day care and set working hours for yourself.

Make a list of things to do. Don't try and do it all at once. Set a goal and make it happen.

First and foremost to me would be hiring a nanny or day care to take care of my child while I AM WORKING.

Next would be to interview cleaning companies and have them come in weekly or bi-weekly to clean.

Take clothes to the dry cleaners to get the big loads out of the way. Then start a calendar for doing laundry. I do laundry on Monday and Thursday. Why? Because that's what works for me. I don't know what will work for you. I'd rather do 3 small loads twice a week than 5 or 6 big loads once a week. It's okay to break it down. You need to find out what works for you.

Next - go to your doctor and have a full physical done. Find out if you are iron anemic or if there is something else wrong - at 16 months - post partum depression can still be a factor - especially if you don't have nor make the time for yourself.

After that - you need to schedule a girls night out. If you don't have girlfriends to go out with - then just go to a movie by yourself or find a hobby or a bookclub that you can join to meet other like-minded people. But you need time to yourself. Make your husband take up some of the slack...he can care for the kids - right?

If you don't take care of you - no one else will. SCHEDULE it.

This is an easily solvable problem. Your husband needs to do much more and your daughter is plenty old enough to help a little every day without being paid.
Set up a schedule. You do what you can throughout the day. Get the work done that you can, spend time with your baby and try to keep things reasonably clean. When your daughter gets home she spends an hour with her sibling while you work. When your husband gets home he takes over for the rest of the evening while you work. He should be doing everything during that time concerning the baby. You take care of the baby while he works and he does the same while you work.
You can pre-prep dinner during the day so you daughter can heat it up and clean up afterwards each night. There is nothing wrong with expecting her to pitch in.
You need to delegate, if you don't organize them to do what needs to be done it will continue to fall on your shoulders. If there is any resisitance from your husband at all and he is not willing to spend his evenings taking care of his child so you can work then he gets another job and you hire help, it's that simple.
What you're trying to do is impossible and is not good for you or your baby!

I too work from home (only 31 hours per week) and have a 4 year old. FOlks might not like this but - TV is your friend. For an hour or so your child is entertained and you get to do what you need to do.

For the rest of time what worked with my daughter was teaching her about work time / play time. I would alternate the two, an eventally she learned to entertain herself for long periods of time.

SO hang in there it does get better....

Someone else suggested hiring a 13 year old, that is not a bad idea. I woud run it by your 11 year old again though, if she finds out that someone else will be paid to do her former job she may decide that she does want the job after all. You just need to set out some clear guidelines for her and make sure she understands that if she can not follow them, then she will lose her job.

I totally get the run away feeling (especially now since I am pregnant on top of everything else). It will get better though, this is just a rough patch becuase your little one is more active, but still not capable of understanding that Mommy can not be available 24/7.

I will say a prayer for you!

Oh boy - bless your heart.

I've been a WAHM mom too (we also homeschool) and sometimes felt I would go insane (and I only worked part-time).

It sounds like you HAVE to get your husband to do more. What if you just STOP doing much of the house work? What will happen? He has got to step up here. Otherwise you are headed for disaster. Yes, your body will eventually give out.

I would also try to set times when you are officially "done" - both with work and with home. When you work at home it's so easy to bleed over into all hours of the day and night. I've tried to be "done" by 9 pm. I.e., nothing else happens after that time (except "me" stuff like washing my face, etc.).

Oh gosh I'm going to pray for you. I can feel your desperation.

You MUST talk to your husband about this. He needs to help you more, thats all there is to it. If he wants you to keep your job because its necessary, then make it known that your plate is overfilled. Don't just assume that he knows. You have to spell it out for him or he will never get it.

I would look into a high school or college student to come in a few hours a day to help out. Certainly cheaper than daycare. Some of the high schools in my area have programs where you can drop off your younger children for care at minimal cost for a few hours. Or check out mom's day out programs as well.

Good luck.

People do NOT bring their children to work, and you should NOT be bringing your child to work.

Also keep in mind, it is not your daughter's responsibility to take care of her sibling, it was not her decision to have a child, it was yours and hubby's. It is her responsibility to help around the house with chores. An 11yo is perfectly capable of making dinner.

What was the plan when you made the decission to have another child? What has changed?

You need to sit down with hubby and make a schedule. When you are working, someone else is taking care of the baby (hubby, your mother, a nanny, day care, his family, a neighbor, a mother's helper, etc). You need to work when the baby is sleeping and when hubby is home. That means getting up early and putting in an hour or 2 before baby wakes up. Then another 2 hours when baby is napping. Another 2 or 3 in the evening when hubby gets home, and then a few hours on Saturday and a few hours on Sunday. This makes a 40 hour week.

It sounds like you can afford some daycare, you just choose not to. Yes, 2 days will help, there's a lot you can get done in 16 hours. Have you considered hiring a young teen to come in a few days after school to watch the baby for an hour or two? I'm sure you can find $25 in the budget somewhere.

Make a list of chores that need to be done daily, weekly, monthly and determine who is going to do them and when.

This isn't difficult. Almost every household with children deals with these same issues.

I have to agree with the posters below - you need to hire help!!!

No - it isn't cheap - but what you'll find is once you don't have your 16 month around demanding your time and attention - you'll be able to get your job done more efficiently, effectively and you'll be less stressed.

Find a part time program and send your kiddo at least half days for the week. There are a lot of church programs that aren't that expensive (the one in my neighborhood offers 9am to 1pm 4 days a week for $270 a month) and if you look you'll find something that suits your needs.

I have been there done that with your current situation (I also WAHM f/t) and I had a mother's helper from the college (I paid her $10/hr and she came 9am to Noon 3 times a week) and then when my daughter had outgrown that (around 18 months) i put her in p/t daycare from 9am to 1pm 5 days a week. I just recently moved her to 3 f/t days and 2 p/t days because I was drowning at work - made an immediate difference.

It sucks - I know - but you NEED to find the money to make this happen - like YESTERDAY!!!

Good luck.

Do you have a gym membership? 1st of all, you could really benefit from excercise - mentally, emotionally, and physically. My gym has free childcare up to 2 hours a day. Many frazzled moms take advantage of that for mental health, as well as, physical health. There are moms in the locker room and sitting around the common area on laptops. The kids are happy and healthy and being taken care of, and mom is on her laptop. If you organized yourself at night before bed, you could get up 1st thing in the morning and go to the gym. Work out for 30 minutes, then you have an hour and a half to work. Take baby home, it should be about time for 1st nap. That's another hour to work.

If your daughter isn't helpful to you, you can find an older girl in the neighborhood to come over 2 hours a day after school. $10 a day for a 13 yr old, would be money well spent. $15 a day and you could probably get some girl to also straighten up the house and do the dishes.

Updated

Do you have a gym membership? 1st of all, you could really benefit from excercise - mentally, emotionally, and physically. My gym has free childcare up to 2 hours a day. Many frazzled moms take advantage of that for mental health, as well as, physical health. There are moms in the locker room and sitting around the common area on laptops. The kids are happy and healthy and being taken care of, and mom is on her laptop. If you organized yourself at night before bed, you could get up 1st thing in the morning and go to the gym. Work out for 30 minutes, then you have an hour and a half to work. Take baby home, it should be about time for 1st nap. That's another hour to work.

If your daughter isn't helpful to you, you can find an older girl in the neighborhood to come over 2 hours a day after school. $10 a day for a 13 yr old, would be money well spent. $15 a day and you could probably get some girl to also straighten up the house and do the dishes.

communication! Time for a heart-to-heart with your husband & make sure he fully understands what your issues are. Don't assume he understands the depths of your angst right now....men see things differently.

Split the house chores right down the middle. He has no choice in this matter. Same goes for cooking. ....Or conversely, each of you pick the chore easiest for you & split the rest. If you enjoy cooking, then that's your forte. If he's the cook (which it doesn't sound like it :), then let him be responsible. The only way to ease your load is thru honest & full communication....start talking & listening to each other!

As for your job, are you happy with it? Does it fullfil you? Are you ready to enter the workforce outside of the home? Really ask yourself "where" you are with work....& that may help point you in another direction. Would a job outside of the home create enough income to cover daycare?

& with your older child, no child wants to be a built-in babysitter....especially after being in school all day. I believe in teamwork, but not making kids responsible for kids. I've seen many 16-17yo siblings leave the home, because of issues such as this. For me, it's all in the mindframe....it's in teaching your child, at an early age, that as a family we have to work together. I also don't believe in financially rewarding kids for basic life skills. :)

Moving on...your illness. Time to get outside, time to take a walk with baby. Both of you will benefit from this breaktime. Both of you will get thru the day much easier. & you'll be healthier.

& finally, what are your neighbors like? Is this an option for either daycare or housecleaning? In many cases, it does truly take a village to raise a child! Find some help! Good Luck to you....& I wish you Peace.

First, get some vitamins and good groceries. You need to keep up your strength. If you enjoy grocery shopping, use it as a break when your husband gets home. If not, have him do it and maybe take the baby with him.

I don't know what kind of work you do, but is it possible to structure your day to do that when the baby is asleep or playing independently? (I understand not being able to get started on things because you never know when you'll have to stop and tend to baby.)

Let the house go for a bit. Certainly talk to your husband about doing it, but don't focus on trying to clean up. Is he the kind of guy who doesn't know what to do unless you tell him? If so, make him lists. Does your baby have to have a bath every single day? If baby isn't dirty/stinky, let husband's baths suffice. Or just wipe baby down at bed time. Have your husband use his time off to help out. Periodically, maybe once per month, ask him to schedule a day off (or even half a day) so you can reboot.

What your wanting is for your husband to pitch in. He is not pulling his weight in you opinion and you need to some how show him the light so he can help too.

I would give him tasks like Mondays clean the bathrooms (takes a few mins to wipe counters and clean the potty, showers too)

Tuesdays dust sweep and mop. (hr of his time??) you get the idea. if and when he complains ask him if he cannot handle one hr of house work? or oh tugh guy cant spend fifteen mins in the bathroom unless he needs to use it? you know his language. if not a marriage consultant might be needed and obtained for free through a church. you would not believe the misunderstandings between my husband and i.

Crock pot dinners, make a bigger dinner and then freeze half of it? (seperate conatainers).

I was in jr high when I started to do my own laundary. No bleach but I did do the rest of my own cloths because my mom had a job and if we only had about three pair of jeans each. I also would iron my older brothers shirts for dates....should have charged him! She can have chores also. Like sweeping or vaccuming the bed rooms. Sure it wont be as good as you do it but she is LEARNING. I am truly dissapointed at the lack of skills twenty somethings have failed to be taught.

Something has to give - if not everybody else in the house then it will be you.

Your body is already breaking down under the tremendous pressure. It's time to make different decisions and choices. Begin by not being so quick to dismiss some of the suggestions given and getting the help you need. My 48 year old healthy pastor died from over extending himself and never asking for help. He got a cold, then the fle, then ending up in the hospital because his lungs were full of fluid and he was running a fever, he then got renal failure and was dead within two days of going to the hospital. Too much on his plate, not enough sleep and not asking for help that was only a phone call away. Please don't let this happen to you.

Get someone in there to consistently watch the baby, help with the house work and prioritize your workload in your workday so you are effective. If you are missing work deadlines how long will your job continue to let this be? If you can get someone to help with some aspect of your work do that as well until you are caught up.

I would say take a vacation to get some well deserved rest, while on vacation you are preparing for some form of viable childcare option even if it is a teen or twentysomething coming in for a few hours to watch your baby.

Husband should help more but you can't make him and only you know what motivates your husband into action.

A liquid multivitamin and exercise will help with your energy levels.

Long story short - get help for every aspect of your life you need help in. The cooking, the cleaning, the watching the baby and your work. It doesn't have to cost a fortune you must be willing to think outside of the box and give something different an honest try.

Your husband and your daughter need to step up. Set her up with specific chores for each day. On Monday, she sweeps the kitchen and takes out garbage; on Tuesday, she does something else, etc. so she has a chore or two each day. Same with hubby, one or two things he can do in the evenings to help out - dinner dishes; empty the dishwasher; bathe the baby, whatever it is.

Also, don't worry so much about the house. Soon enough both kids will be in school full time and then you can have the clean house you long for.

I worked at home for a while so I know what you're talking about. I finally got a full time job out of the home and I do get more down time now than before.

Summer is coming up - see if you can find a Mommy's helper in the neighborhood that can tag-team with your daughter to get some stuff done. Your daughter may be more receptive if there's someone doing it with her.

You need to have a serious talk with your DH. He needs to pull his weight at home and with the kids. Make a schedule/chart for all the household chores, mopping, vacuuming, laundry, dishes, cleaning bathrooms, etc. Select how many times a week each task needs to be done and then divide them up between you. Give your daughter a few chores too, it wouldn't hurt her one bit to do a chore or two when she gets home from school. She could start some laundry or unload the dishwasher or vacuum. Give her a couple things each day, and then give her a small allowance at the end of the week. The bigger items need to be divided between you and DH. Make a bath/bedtime chart and split those up too, you do a day or two and then DH has to do a day or two. Then on the weekend, tell DH that you need X number of hours on Saturday morning to work and that he must take care of the kids during those hours so you can work without interruptions.

It's all about setting expectations and then putting your foot down to make sure it happens. Put the chore schedule, bedtime schedule and all in writing and post it on the fridge.

Another thing to do is spend a little time during the weekend and prepare meals for the week. Make a couple casseroles and stick them in the freezer, grill some chicken and freeze it then you can just heat it up and heat up some frozen veggies to go with it and there's dinner. We do this and it helps so much.

You can do it, but you have to make your expectations for help known to your DH and daughter. And I agree with Mallory, if DH doesn't step up then stop taking care of his stuff!

I'm sorry S., but I would get MAD if I were in your shoes. I would go ahead and hire someone to help in the late afternoons so you can catch up on work. When your husband sees money going out the account and he gets upset, I would tell him that when he comes home and actually makes a difference after his easy day at work, THEN your paycheck can go to pay other bills.

You can vent all you want, but venting won't solve the problem. You cannot do all the childcare and work fulltime as well. If you were not working in the house, you would HAVE to have daycare. Your husband has his head in the sand thinking that what is going on here is standard operating procedure, because it's not.

Get started on a list of stuff he needs to do for your family. Have it at the ready when he starts screaming about babysitting money. Give it to him and tell him that you will let go of babysitting when he steps up to the plate. Period.

Getting mad enough to bite the bullet and hire someone will actually help, rather than having a nervous breakdown and ending up in the hospital.

Dawn

You need someone to watch your 16 month old during your working day.
As you are finding out, you can not focus on work and the baby at the same time - you end up short shrifting both and you are burning out trying.
Your 11 yr old should be able to help out with chores and not for money.
Her interest or lack thereof is irrelevant.
Dishes, laundry, taking out trash, cooking/food prep, vacuuming, washing bathrooms, etc.
In our house, you help out because you live here and everyone does their share.
The quickest way to fun is to get the work done (chores and homework) and done well, and nothing else happens until they are accomplished - no phone. no tv, no games, no friends, no recreational computer, no nothing until the work is done.
Can you find an elderly retired lady or college student who could come watch your baby while you work?
Have you got any stay at home neighbors who might babysit your baby for a few hours?
Lot's of people are looking for a little extra income.
Even for 3 or 4 hours a day, you should be able to find someone you can afford.
Every little bit will help.

You cannot work FT and care for a child FT. You just can't. Something has to change. Here are the options I see:

1. Find some way to pay for child care, even if it's just a few hours a day or a few days a week. It doesn't have to be FT to be helpful.

2. Your husband needs to get a new job or a second job so that you can afford to pay for daycare if you really can't afford any part-time child care. If he's not being useful when he's home, he can work nights too so that you can cover the cost of hiring some help.

3. You re-structure your work day so that your schedule does NOT include working all day. Instead, work from, say, before your husband leaves for work, then while the baby naps, then when your husband gets home, he is on duty while you shut yourself into your office and work for several hours without interruption. This would be like working 2nd shift.

The bottom line is that the idea that two parents can work FT days without childcare is ridiculous and not fair to any of you. If you're not going to bite the bullet and hire someone for childcare, then you need to work opposite shifts. That's the only way this will work.

you need to have the 11 yr old help out more. give her options

Have your 11 yo help more. My 12 yo gets .50 for loading and unloading the dishwasher. My 9 yo gets .50 for taking both trash cans down to the street and .10 every time he takes out the trash. They both wash and dry and put away their own clothes. Have hubs in charge of ALL the laundry. Let a lot of the housework go. You probably don't have to vaccuum and dust every single day, the house will still be "clean". Talk to your husband and 11 yo. Tell them your plate is full and there is going to be some changes. Its also important that you guys schedule some "family time" and get some fun in. Even if you designate Friday as "Family Movie Night" like we do. Its pizza and salad and we all sit on the couches and watch a movie and relax. Instead of getting caught up in the drama, you need to actually take steps to make this better. You have gotten a lot of great advice that should work for you. I work from home also, but my kids are in school. It will get better, you just have to get thru this time. Pick your battles and just do what is a priority, the rest honestly can wait, no one else cares. I hope you find some things that help. Good luck!

I feel the same way you do, I started working from home last year and it is tough I have to juggle 2 kids a job a house and of course a husband. one of the kids is in pre-k so I have a few hours without her but like you my 2 yr old wants to be with me all the time . plan ahead schedule everything. set a routine for the baby they will follow through. TV is your friend for an hour or two when you must meet deadlines, work when child is napping but also take some time to take her out to the park, library anything there is a lot of free activities that community centers or libraries offer they are free or at very little cost. About help from hubby if he is at home have him pitch in any way he can a little help is better than no help at all. My husband is out most of the time and gets home late so I do not have much help there. What works for me is cooking, pre-cutting, pre-slicing all food in advance and separate them and label them freeze as well that way all you do is unfreeze and eat. this will save you a lot of time, when you are preparing your meals have hubby help you I do it with mine that way you have some time to catch up. paper plates are your friends when your time is limited. I usually used them for me and the kids for hubby depends in what kind if mood I am, if i feel doing dishes or not LOL. About having the house clean as crystal ball will never happen I also would love to have my home looking like a magazine but let's be real do what you can tidy up every day in the mornings cleaning when everything is clean it only takes a few minutes because there is no dust, mop and vacuum do not sweep all you do is spread the dirt all over have everyone take shoes off at the door no exceptions this keeps dirt away . Teach your kids to help you even if is taking out the garbage since your kid is oldest, you do not need to compensate the child, the must help around the house, my oldest helps cleaning her room and making her bed it is not perfect but teach her responsability and even helps me with her sister when I'm busy she understands now that I have to work, the little one is getting it now. Laundry do a load a day if you have enough dirty clothes to throw in the washing machine don't let it accumulate too much otherwise you spend your weekend doing laundry. other than that have hubby stay with the kids for couple of hours once a week so you can get your sanity back and relax a little even if you choose to do nothing at all. I cannot afford daycare either and believe that children are better taken care of if they are with mommy. just hang in there it gets better as you get use to the routine you set up for yourself. Hope this helps.