Sole vs Joint Legal Custody

I think you want legal joint custody with primary PHYSICAL custody being with you?

Sole custody is if the other parent is REALLY unfit, like an abusive addict with a rap sheet.

:)

I really want to just address your lawyer. You asked him specifically what the difference is between joint and sole custody and he referred you to the legal code posted online? I'm sorry, but it's his job as a lawyer to explain the differences to you because you're not a lawyer. What are you paying him for if he can't/won't explain these things to you?

I'd like to encourage you to find a new lawyer who's willing to do their job.

Baring an issue of neglect, most courts are unlikely to grant sole legal custody to a parent if the other parent is in the children's lives at all.

Sole legal custody gives ONE parent full decision making authority for the children. It also gives ONE parent sole access to medical, school and legal records. The other parent, thereby, has NO authority what so ever regarding education, health, religion, etc. The other parent can't even get a copy of a report card or a shot record from the school or doctor's office.

With joint, depending on the issue, either or both parents do these things (ie, either parent signs permission slips, both parents agree to surgery)

This is NOT one of those things where one way is best for the kids... these aren't things that involve kids. It's about parental decision making. It's entirely separate from physical custody (although you won't get sole legal custody without also having sole physical custody because the other parent couldn't even sign the kids into the ER on his days).

I am a parent whose ex-husband has sole custody of my son. I, however, get to see my son whenever I would like. I cannot make decisions about my son's life IF my ex-husband decides he doesn't want that, such as what school to go to, medical decisions etc. I am lucky, I have an ex that allows me to be involved with decisions regarding my son. I do have to pay him child support. By the way, even if you get joint custody one OR both of you may have to end up paying child support to the other parent so joint = no child support (Gamma G.) is not correct. I can say this because I was a paralegal student and learned this in family law. Also if you have sole custody and don't want the other parent around say, if your child was in the ER, that would really be up to you the custodial parent. With sole custody, it is up to you as to how difficult seeing the child can be. My best advice, regardless of your relationship with your child's father would be, make it about the child. Don't let your difference with the father get in the way of making the best choice for your child. Your child needs a MOM AND A DAD. My son comes with me when he wants to see me and I am fine with that. I

Vague? It should be spelled out in your divorce decree/parenting plan.

Sole legal custody means that you alone make all decisions that only a legal custodian can make. For example, you alone could decide where the kids go to school, authorize medical treatment, meet with teachers, counselors, medical professionals and the like while the other parent would not have those rights. You could also take them out of state without the permission of the other parent, but I don't know if you can take them out of the country without the other's permission.

Joint legal custody means those decisions are made jointly and both parents have a right to meet with/discuss the child with teachers, doctors, counselors, other professionals. You also would need the other's permission before taking the kids out of the state and definitely out of the country.

There is physical and legal custody. Pretty self explanatory. Physical means who has physical custody of the kids. Joint physical means each parent has custody time and the court defines what is the address for purposes of school and such.

Legal is who can make legal decisions. So joint legal means you must agree with your ex on any legal decisions. Like what schools to go to and things like that.

In my case, my ex and I have joint custody of our boys which means we both can make decisions regarding things like schooling and medical. However, I am the residential parent so our children live with me and visit their dad 1.5 overnights per week.

I also wanted sole custody but my atty advised against it because it would have meant an even longer fight in court. And in pratice, because my boys live with me and are teenagers, I am the parent who is more involved in their decision-making,

Here is a brief overview: http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/types-of-child-cus...

I realize the descriptions are vague but think about it... sole custody means you can sign your child up for school, make a medical decision etc. without the other parents consent. With joint, he can drag you back to court.

Joint vs sole doesn't affect anyones lives directly... it's how you all manage the situation. It's just legal parameters (that can always be challenged).

The only reason I can see of asking for sole custody is IF you do not want your childrens' Father to have anything to do with them.

Is that what you are after? Making sure the Father has NO decision making rights what so ever?

If that is not what you are looking for you should go with 'joint' legal custody...please keep in mind even if you have joint custody you will have NO problems enrolling your kids in school or taking them to the doctor by yourself.

Get a new lawyer!!! Telling you the difference is THEIR JOB! If he/she is in a firm ask for another one within to handle your case!

Custody, parenting time and child support are 3 separate issues. I have sole custody of my kids. My ex pays child support, medical insurance and he sees them every other weekend and holidays. My ex has NO SAY in any decision regarding our kids. I make all decisions regarding school, medical, social, etc. You are paying an attorney so they can advise you and help you understand, not refer you to legal documents to research it yourself. Every persons situation is different. My biggest advice, regardless of what is decided, is that you make the parenting plan VERY detailed. Like put times on it: Father will have child every odd year on Christmas Day from 8am to 8pm. Or whatever. That way there is no misunderstand on when each parent will have the child. Good luck.

Joint = no child support, he files taxes with kids one year you do it the next.

He can say no to anything you want to do, you can't do it. You can say no to anything he wants and he can't. So no decisions are easy. Even child care when he has them or when you have them has to be approved by the other.

He gets them one day, you the next, then him, then you. Or he gets them one week you then next...... equal time between homes so that = no home at all for the kids.

It is crazy and unfair to the kids to not have an actual residence. If dad lives out of town or even out of state you have to follow him around from place to place or give him full custody. I have a friend who is doing this right now. Their divorce is out of California and she has already lived in 2 different states to accommodate his work. He got a judge to say she has no formal career with a job history and he does with this company so either she accommodates his work or gives up her custody.

Either way you have to work and support your family. He is not responsible to do that. I have seen this new trend to do joint custody and the wife basically looked down on as a low income person who is too lazy to work so she can't have custody. I think the system is really sorry right now. It has turned to where the men are favored now.

Your attorney represents you, tell him/her you want custody with XXX visitation. Be specific, even if it means doing a yearly calendar.

L.:

Consult a lawyer. Get custody set up legally in the courts.

here's some information I found by typing "sole vs joint custody in Utah"

http://www.ehow.com/info_###-###-####_definition-legal-ph...

http://www.utahdivorcehotline.com/practice-areas/child-cu...

Use this link. Type in your zip code and find out what laws are applicable in your state.

http://www.utahdivorcehotline.com/practice-areas/child-cu...

Sole Legal Custody - if you had that - you would be the only one legally allowed to make decisions for your kids (education, religion, medical treatment, ear piercing, permission slips, after school/extra curricular activities are a few that come to mind). Other parent may or may not have visitation. Example: Mom can decide where child goes to school, who the doctor is, what church the child attends etc. Dad would have maybe every other weekend, shared holidays...any variation of scenarios.

Joint Legal Custody - if you had that - both parents have equal say in the areas mentioned above. Both parents have parenting time (which could be split equally or one could have primary placement with the other having visitation only). Examples: Mom and Dad have Joint Legal Custody, they have equal say in those matters. They may share 50/50 parenting time (this could mean they switch every other week, they could switch every 4th day, they could swith every other week with the opposite parent having them one day the middle, or many other variations...and yes I have seen these crazy situations). Another scenario with joint custody is with one parent having "placement" and the other having just visitation but them having equal say in education, treatment, etc. (that is what I had w/ my son and in reality I had to make the decisions because dad was never reachable or much help and didn't see our son even half of what he was allowed to).

BTW...if you have 50/50 physical custody (not just joint legal custody but equal physical custody) typically, neither pays the other child support.