Ok, this is so gross, but my 3.5 year old suddenly (the past few days) has developed an obsession with trying to stick items up his butt!!! First it was his finger, last night it was his string cheese, today it was the tail of his t-rex toy! WHAT THE HECK!!!
What do I say or do to get him to stop? I tried to just be matter-of-fact about it and firmly told him, "We do not put anything in our butt. Your butt has poopy germs that can make you VERY sick." He gets that concept, but persists with this new "exploration." HELP!
Ok if it were me, I'd probably keep it managible for him to obey. My rule is it's ok to stick your finger there, but nothing else, and you need to wash your hands with soap and water when you're done. Also, I'd probably suggest he keep his activities located in either his bedroom or the bathroom, since it's not polite to do in company.
...then again, this is generally the approach I take to my kids sticking their fingers into *any* orifice!
This is really common. According to human growth and development, kids 0-2 get pleasure from the mouth, and ages 2-4 or five get it from, you guessed it, their butt. Caught my 3 yr old son doing this with the antannae to my shower radio(never used that again) Anyway, I just told him that's it's ok to touch himself there, if it feels good, but to do that when he's alone, and not to use my shower radio antannae because "if it gets stuck up there or breaks off, Mommy's gonna have to explain to all the hospital people how it got up there"
I've read some posts about medication, molestation and the such, unless you really think something bad happened, I wouldn't worry too much. I live 4 hours away from any family and only trust my kids with my parent's or my in-laws, so basically, my son's never with anyone but me and my husband, and my son's so clingy he's never alone. Seriously, look up human growth and development, kids don't discover their genitals as a source of gratification until a little later, that's why toddlers sometimes hold their poop-it feels good, I guess. I asked my son why he does that and he said "for fun-it feels good" I'm going to be crazy in 13 years or so!
I could be dead wrong, but sometime this behavior begins because it was introduced to them somehow either by playing with other children who were just being kids and experimenting or if someone has taken advantage of him and molested him. Please understand I am not trying to alarm you, but there is a possibility that one of those two things happened.
Ask your son "What makes you want to touch yourself there?" and "Did anyone ever show you how to do that?" and, like you have been doing, just ask matter-of-factly and perhaps you might get some insight or information from those simple questions.
I am *NOT* saying this happened- it's just a heads up of something to be aware of- There are sexually aggressive children (usually the product of being sexually abused by an adult) that will bring young children in for molestation just like they were brought in.
There's also the usual "let's see what this is" "doctor" type stuff kids do.
One of the posters before me had great advice with asking him to draw things out. Children that young seldom explore their bums, or use objects for self-pleasure. By seldom I mean less than 2% of parents in studies have witnessed their child doing such. I am not a fan of freud and do not put stock into much of his development ideas as many of them stemmed from his own "unconventional" upbringing.
Another great way to talk about it without talking about it- is pretend play. Use dolls- ask him why he stuck ________ in his bum, and ask him to demonstrate with the dolls how he learned that......
Best luck-
I don't want you to worry, so first think that this could be just a phase. One of my neighbor's girls used to try to put everything up her nose when she was 3. They ended up in the ER one night after she successfully put 2 peas up each nostril and couldn't breathe. ewwwww.
Next, don't freak out....but think about who he has been around recently. Was he near anyone that would have touched him inappropriately? Anyone that would have touched his bottom or brought attention to it? Ask him to draw pictures of what he has done the last couple days instead of talking about it. That can create alarm in him. If there is anything that looks the least bit suspicious, follow up and seek advice from pediatrician!!!
Hi, Check this out: http://www.fullspectrumhealthmd.com/Children.html
They list "scratching anus" and " putting hands down pants" as symptoms that could possibly benefit from integrative medicine.
Just another thought.
In my experience, every time my kids have done something odd there has always been a very good reason for it. He may be itchy?
If he's itchy, I'd check for evidence of pin worms. They are very common. Hemorrhoids are also itchy and he could have them if he's been constipated. Make sure he gets lots of fiber and drinks plenty of water. It might be worth having a doctor check him over. If he's just exploring, explain to him he could tear his skin by using toys or other hard objects. It's for pooping, nothing else. All he should be doing is making sure he's wiped clean after going potty then washing his hands with soap and water. The rest of the time, make sure his hands are kept so busy he has no time to put them down his pants.
don't leave him alone for more than three mins. Keep an eye on him and whenever he does kneel down to his level and look at him straight in the eye and tell him not to be doing such a thing or anything u want. I've been reading a lot and some books say not to ever leave children alone for more than three mins without watching them because then they start to explore their bodies and such. I've taken care of children all my life and i have my own but i've never seen that. But i guess those books say it for a reason. good luck
I wouldn't be as concerned with trying to get him to stop as I would be to try and figure out WHY he is doing it. Did he see someone do this? etc...
The finger in the butt is kind of in the middle of a line, I think.
It could be just a boy exploring his body but it could be he seen this some where too, I would follow my guts and look for other clues so I know what to believe.
But the toys and other objects, I would stop him asap since it can get dangerous.
I would put him in a time out if he does and explain that human body is amazing but we have to take care of it and putting objects in his butt can hurt him one day.
I understand that is very natural for kids to explore their bodies but I couldn't take my chances for my kid to get really hurt.
