Sleeping Problems - Doylestown,PA

I did Ferber with my son at 4 months and bought the book. It has the technique in it for doing it in the parents room. It just said that you should not be in there when she is crying it out. She is not too old to let her do it, but she is going to be a little more persistent the first few nights probably. I honestly think it is harder on the parents than it is on the kids (I cried right along with my son the first 3 nights). I suggest getting the book, and following his directions. My son cried at bedtime for a couple weeks but once he was "trained" he does great. He goes right down and loves his crib. He even does great if we are at someone else's house for naptime or bedtime. Good luck!

I know I have said this a thousand times on here (Ferber really should be paying me royalties), but please actually buy or borrow Ferber's book (Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems) and read the whole thing. People have such misconceptions about what the Ferber method is (it is NOT CIO). It does work, and is appropriate and safe if you do it correctly, but if you just whack at it you might end up worse off than you started. Also, make sure you and your husband are totally agreed on the plan because nothing will sabotage it faster than one of you giving in to the crying. There is one in every family, LOL.

If possible, you might want to send your son (if he's older) to a grandparent's or someone's house for a couple of days, because you are in for a couple rough nights. I would think about taking a Friday off, with the option of taking the Monday off too, if you both work. But within 3-7 days, you will have her retrained.

Good Luck. I am SUCH a believer in the Ferber Method, I just want to make sure people are doing it right!

Let her cry. It will only take a couple of days until she goes right to sleep!

Hi L.,

I am no expert, but I am a mom of a 20 month old girl and have tried many techniques to get her into a sleep routine and make nap and bedtimes easier. When we moved to the States about three months ago I really struggled to get Hannah back into her routine, her little world was turned upside down, crying out was not an option, firstly because I could not bear her crying and not understanding why I am not responding and secondly because it simply didn't work the odd time I did try it out of sheer desperation. So this is what I did, it took a week, but it was not nearly as traumatic for her, although it took great perserverance so get some help if you need time-out:

You need to establish a set ritual/routine that runs up to nap/bedtime, you prabably have one already it just means that you need to try and stick to it. For us it's, dinner, bath time, last bottle, brushing teeth, 3 stories and then into bed.

The sleep method is called Put Down (Tracy Hoggs: The Babay Whisperer) when she starts crying you walk over to the crib, no eye contact no talking and simply lay her down again. If you find that she starts crying or jumps up immdediately or starts crying the minute you leave the room, go back in, lay her down again and stand next to the crib, again do not make any eye contact and do not talk to her. Repeat doing this until she finally setttles, she might setttle but wont be ready for you to leave the room (seperation anxiety) so you might have to stay till she falls asleep, this is a time consuming and tough method but it builds trust between you and your toddler as it reassures them that you will return in the morning. Once she is convinced you will be able to put her down and leave with no crying or fussing.

The crying can wear you down and drive you insane so if you cant do it on your own, get a partner to help in taking turns. Trust me I wanted to give up so many nights but now Hannah goes down without hassle and often we will hear her talk but no crying and she falls asleep on her own.

I hope this helps!

She's almost two, and her sleeping habit is very set-so yes it will be tough to change-as in LOTS of crying.

Are you saying you want to move her from your bed, but still keep her crib in your room? The crib is a restraint, and she is almost old enough to be out of her crib, in which case she will do what she wants, as in crawl into your bed. You should train her now for whatever you goal is when she goes to a normal bed. Because it may take time.

If your goal is to have her sleep in your room, ferberize her gradually or let her cry it out all at once in her crib. Try to think of the greater good of having her able to sleep securely on her own, rather than your own discomfort at her crying.

During the first day or evening, make some sort of special party and explain to her she now sleeps herself and make it fun. Then at bedtime, don't give in. Make sure she eats a lot all day and doesn't drink right before bed so she doesn't wake up at night hungry and having to pee. Make sure she's had tons of exercise and sunlight and no sugar. Then put in your earplugs and wait it out. You created the attachment, but she can adjust and grow past it. Kids are very capable of sleeping securely through the night alone.

If your goal is to have her asleep on her own in her own room soon, I would put the crib in her room and do the same thing. You may need a temporary arrangement for your son so he can sleep. If you let her cry it out, walk away and don't give in, it will usually not take longer than a week for her to learn she can herself to sleep. Sometimes just a few days. I'm not familiar with ferberizing, so I don't know how long that takes. My kids have always slept alone with no trouble, but a few friends of mine made the switch at about 20 months, and in the end had to let them cry it out. It took from 3 days to a week.

It will be very hard at this age, but not impossible. Figure out what you REALLY want for your daughter, and then do what it takes. You will feel rewarded when she feels secure and happy sleeping alone. Make bedtimes and mornings even more fun as a reward for her new maturity.

If you think you may give in because of her crying, don't try too long (or at all), avoid the trauma and keep co- sleeping (warning, my friend's niece sleeps with her parents at 4!). If you wait for her lead, you have no idea how long it will take her to outgrow it.

Keep in mind, you will make it much worse if you train her to scream a long time to get you to take her back to bed. Really do it if you're going to do it! Follow through! Good luck!

Have you considered getting her a big girl bed? We always rocked my oldest son to sleep but he started waking up everytime we put him in the crib at around 19 months. I tried CIO and I'm sure it would have worked had I stuck with it, but he was so old and stuck in his ways and I knew I would have to let him cry for a while. Anyway, in the end we got him a big boy bed and would lay with him until he fell asleep and then slip out of the bed. Around 2 he started going to sleep on his own.

"I also am not sure if she is too old to start letting her just cry it out?"

Too old?! Are you kidding me? It's only an issue if she's too YOUNG for you to just let her cry it out.

My friend had the same issue with her child. She put a twin bed on rails, so it would be low to the ground and of course put side safety rails on it in the child's room.
To get the child used to the bed and to associate it with good things, she would sit on the bed with him and read, etc. and praise the child for staying on the bed. Make the bed seem really special, it is all hers, for big girls only.

for the first week she slept with the child in the bed in his room. She gradually faded it out.
He now sleeps wonderfully alone.

To prevent him from getting up and coming into her room, she put up a gate.
I will swear by the book, "Healthy sleep habits Happy child."
Every time I try something in that book, I swear it works.
You just have to follow exactly what he says to do and be strong and consistent.
good luck.

i HIGHLY recommend Ferber...which isn't just "Cry it out." Get the book and it will help you with your specific situation. I used it and within 3 days my daughter was sleeping through the night, in her bed, with NO night wakings. it saved us! I think you should be able to move the crib to her room at the same time you start this. do it over a weekend and the worst will be done by Sunday/Monday.

book: http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp...

I don't know what the "ferber thing" is....but your child is never too old to "cry it out". She is comfortable sleeping in your bed. As long as you let her, she will be content to continue sleeping in your bed. She needs to learn to sleep in her crib. And, until she does, you won't get her out of your bed or room.

Good Luck

Unless you never want to have sex or undisturbed sleep again (LOL), get her out of your bed. She is never too old to cry it out--think of it, in a way, as a form of time out. Since you've let her sleep in your bed, it'll take some time to undo that, but you can. My suggestion is to get her a youth bed (or skip that stage and get a twin box spring and mattress and put them directly on the floor). Prepare her for it by telling her about Her Big Girl Bed, have her choose the sheets, making a big deal of it when you set it up, etc. Snuggle in it with her until she falls asleep for naps and at night. Eventually you'll be able to leave while she's awake but sleepy, and eventually you'll be able to tuck her in with a shorter snuggle and a song.

Best of luck!