Sleeping Habbits - Saint Joseph,MN

At this age, his needs and wants are the same, he isn't manipulating you. Do not let him cry it out, as he is still learning that you are the one he can depend on and trust for all his needs. Give him the nuk. Is he in your room sleeping? This would be an appropriate time to have him near you. This would also allow you more sleep if all you had to do was roll over and give him is nuk without having to rouse yourself and walk to another room. Sleep is crucial, especially for the adults!

He seems to be needing something when he screams in his sleep for his nuk. At this age, their mouth is their world. It serves not only a means for nourishment, but also a means of soothing. Flutter sucking when nursing is one way babies sooth themselves without eating at the breast.

Read Ask Dr Sears Web site and Night Time Parenting by Sears, it saved our lives when we had our first baby.

This will pass. In the meantime, enjoy your little one. This is a fleeting era.

The days are long but the years are short.

Take care and good luck!
J.

I agree with Julian, 4 months is too young to be manipulative. And if you have never had an ear infection, let me tell you they hurt. I had one last spring and I couldn't sleep, I had headaches, it made my gums hurt. It was awful. Perhaps the nuk helps him with any pain that he may be experiencing. Furthermore, he's going to start getting his teeth soon too. Imagine how much that hurts to have a sharp tooth break through your gum. You may try giving him some tylenol to help with the pain before bed and he may not need the nuk then.

Some parents can sleep through the screaming. Some can't. Some parents will tell you to ignore the crying. Some parents will tell you not too. You have to do what you feel is right in your heart. But I will give you some advice now that I learned after having two kids. You can not force a baby to sleep. A baby does not stay awake just to get on your nerves or be defiant. You are not a bad parent if your baby does not sleep through the night at 4 months. You are not a bad parent if you let your baby cry it out occassionally. You are not a bad parent if your child uses a nuk. You are not a bad parent if you do what you know is best for your baby. So if your baby sleeps better with a nuk, and that lets you get more sleep, give him the nuk. You can take it away when he's older.

www.askdrsears.com
your baby has a need - and that need is probably you. there could be pain and pressure from the ear infection, he will sleep better sitting up with an ear infection.

please dont cry it out. what is "it" and where is "out"??
also, babies are programmed to suck. this is normal! :D now, you dont say, but bottle fed babies have a weaker sucking reflex than breastfed, so if you are bottle feeding, you might have to try a little experiment to help strengthen his sucking. just gently push around the nuk while hes sucking on it, and he will have to suck harder to get it back. you can almost remove it from his lips, and let him suck it back in.
just a little thought...
then when he almost loses it at night, he will be able to better get it back :D otherwise, you might just be stuck putting it back in for a while.

also, there may be a teething issue... :D and anytime a baby learns a new skill, rolling over, getting into a crawling position, crawling, walking, they will have sleep disterbances.

just have patience, and trust your instincts. do what you gotta do to get good sleep... and use EXTREME caution crying it out. babies dont need to ever cry for any reason.. crying = communication = need = requires response. :D
www.askdrsears.com

K. -

My 14 wk old daughter has been sleeping through the night for 10-12 hrs for the past 9 days. The first 3-4 nights, it really freaked me out, as she had just gone through her 3mos growth spurt, getting up to eat 2-3x per night (from a previous 1x). Now, she breastfeeds about 5-6x per day. We never did CIO to get her to sleep through the night. In fact, before she was sleeping this long, if she woke up and didn't eat, I would rock her until she fell back to sleep, and then I would put her back in the crib.

As far as I can tell, my daughter is healthy and happy. If she is hungry, I feed her. That said, our routine with this new sleeping dynamic is not perfect, and I still worry. If she stirs in the night, I check to see if she is waking to eat, but for the past 9 nights, she stirs (eyes closed) and continues to sleep. If she is not up by 12 hrs, I wake her (as my breasts are about to burst!). Now that she is sleeping ~11 hrs/night...I wish I could! (Worrier that I am, I still check on her 3-4 times/night).

I know 4 months is young, but I thought I'd let you know that it is possible for a child of that age to drop a nighttime feeding and still be healthy.

I have mostly followed the Babywise philosophy (ex CIO...which I may try some in a more flexible, less harsh version...). I just found the following blog which I found to be very helpful. If you are not familiar with Babywise, it may be helpful to read up a bit on it. I must say, I didn't really believe that by following Babywise that my daugher would be sleeping this long at this age...but here we are.

http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/

There are many sections about troubleshooting, including how to help manage sleeping, etc when your child is sick.

Good Luck!

K., It sounds like your son is in pain due to his ear infection. Can you give him Infant Tylenol at bed time?

I would say even when his ear infection is cleared up, he still might need to be getting up to eat--4 months is still very young. At that age, I would still tend to him in the middle of the night, whether it's a nuk or a feeding.

When my son 6 months old, we took away the nuk all together, because yes, he was waking up in the middle of the night when it would fall out. He screamed for a night or two, and then he was absolutely fine without it. I don't think my son would have been ready to give up the nuk at bedtime before 6 months, but it's something you can consider down the road.

In the end--trust your intincts!

well if he still has an ear infection he is probably in pain and it would be normal for him to be uncomfortable and unhappy. if he isn't supposed to have an ear infection maybe he still does and you should take him to the doctor. something is up if he is getting up that often, poor kid, be patient!

4 months old is too young to let your son cry himself to sleep. You can't spoil babies. You can teach them that people are an unreliable source of comfort by letting him cry for himself. He Is waking up for food. Babies this little should be eating in the middle of the night. He is waking up for food but having a nuk stuck in his mouth instead. Sounds awful...

My advice would be to put him to bed without the Nuk. It will take some time and you may have to let him cry to get him used to it. Getting him from bed any time before 2 hours will not work because it is the threshold time for babies. They do not want to cry for 2 hours but shorter than that and they don't mind and will continue to do so. Our technique worked at a much younger age (he was 2 mos) and he has slept 10-11 hours at night ever since without his nuk...hope this helps! Dr. K